Reviews written by registered user
|12 reviews in total|
First off, I've been a member on IMDb for over 12 years; 16 years if I were to count my years of silent lurking before actually signing up. Second, I'm not a Mark Wahlberg fan. The dude did some good movies but he never struck me as an extraordinary actor and I secretly think he lands many roles based on his looks and his physical appearance (which is deeply admirable, considering his age). I was slightly shocked to see this movie was the lowest rates transformers movie. I'm not particularly a fan of the transformers franchise. I've seen all the previous parts. I watched some of the animated series as a kid but I was never really a fan. Now, the age of extension was pretty much another transformers movie to me when I recorded it off of my premium TV service. Simply, another "eye-candy" saga entry to pass time. However, I was very surprised at how much gripping it was. I definitely found parts of the movie to be dragging but the overall experience was very satisfactory. After going through a dozen of reviews here I'd suggest that you steer away from this movie if you're a hardcore transformers fan. If you are, you will very likely dislike it based on deviation from previous comic book story outline. If you're not too familiar with the transformers comic books and are looking for a serious "eye-candy- action that's way over the top and graphics that leave you gaping at the screen, then you will likely like this movie. Lots of action. Lots of impeccable graphics. Not many half naked Megan Foxes trotting around in halter tops but the story, the acting, the action and the graphics will almost certainly satisfy you immensely.
This show aired on my network as the finale of a Comedy Central special series of stand up comedians. By far, Nate Bargatze was the absolute best. His stand-up style might be unappealing to some viewers who prefer the theatrics and antics but Full Time Magic is simply an hour long of old-school CLEAN comedy. His jokes were hilarious but his delivery makes you laugh out loud heartily and even, in a couple of instances, I was in stitches. If you enjoy clean, simple comedy. If you're looking for the run of the mill Comedy Central toilet comedy then you might be bored. Either way, this show is worth the time and I hope I get to see Nate Bargatze in future shows. On a side note, Mr Bargatze could probably use a better agent or publicist or manager. I have never heard of him prior to seeing this. I expected him to be another dud since I try to keep up with up and coming new comedians but I was very pleasantly surprised his act was more than entertaining.
If you are here, then you already know the movie you're watching is not Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. Within 5 weeks, three movies titled Hansel and Gretel were released, presumably to piggyback off of the success of the 50 billion U.S dollar Hansel and Gretel. I'm assuming (judging by other reviewers) that everyone watched this thinking they were seeing the big Hollywood blockbuster that was heavily marketed. Hence: the hatred. This is an Asylum movie. It isn't their best but definitely not their worst either. The performances and effects are decent as far as Asylum movies go. The storyline is good and there's definitely enough tension to keep you looking at the screen till the end credits. In short: if you like Asylum movies (low budget cheesy horror, mostly) you will absolutely love this one. If you're thinking this movie is the big blockbuster Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters then you will be extremely displeased.
A whole hour of this Central Comedy special gave me exactly 2 very short laughs and maybe 2 or 3 smiles. It's all pretty much pre-recorded silly songs trying to be satirically criticizing common social and political issues. The problem is: it's very, very boring, at best. But anyway the thing that seriously bothered me was the use of a 10 year old girl who sings about decapitating the president and congress and later on have that girl dance along with two young women in bikinis. I'm all for UN-politically-correct; I love off-color comedy in all types and forms but there are lines that you don't cross. In my corner of the world, this show is part of a series labeled Comedy Central Stand-Up Special. So far, I loved Sara Silverman and a couple other performers whose names elude me at the moment. All the previous shows were filled with politically incorrect jokes and sketches but this Trevor Moore show just doesn't fit in nor it is worth your time.
I almost certainly wouldn't have watched it with a rating of 2.9. Having seen it, I think it warrants somewhere between 4.5 to 5.5 but I gave up trying to understand the bipolarity of the IMDb community in recent years. First of all, the movie title pretty much tells it all. It's inappropriate comedy. Taboo comedy that doesn't necessarily appeal to the main stream population. Now, if you're part of the main stream population (all buttoned up, all proper and all civil- world-oriented) you will very likely not like it. The whole movie is nothing but a short sketches of off-color comedy. That is: jokes about homosexuals, Jews, porn and the envied practice of sugar-daddying. To me personally, I thought this movie had hilarious moments that could have been delivered better but they weren't so that's what that is. I gave the movie a 5 which is pretty high on the comedy genre (not particularly a fan) but I honestly enjoyed the political-incorrectness. I think most people are too wound-up and uptight so I've always got a kick from throwing a little race joke (about my own race-Arab- terrorist jokes) and the reactions of WASP-y folks (look up WASP if you're not American) always made it ten-times more hilarious to me. I've always thought taboo-ing certain issues leads to ignorance which leads to fear which leads to violence. Make jokes about anything and everything (not about my prophet though or I'll track you down and bomb you) and maybe then we can get to know each other REALLY. To summerize, if you're a person who gets easily offended by listening to racial or sexual jokes then do NOT see this movie under any circumstance. If you, however, a person who laughs heartily with no bigoted, prejudgmental prejudice then by all means go see this movie and you will probably get a kick out of it.
Bridgette Everett performs a Central Comedy special in Joe's Pub in NYC. The show is basically comic sketches and musical acts that heavily incorporate the audience to make them even funnier. The jokes are pretty much all off-color, crude and even disturbing at times but it's very, very entertaining. I'm definitely not a fan of such humor (toilet humor, sexual humor, etc.) but I had a wide grin on my face the whole time and even a few LOL moments and I caught my wife, who's also anti-off-color-humor, giggling a few times. Including my own vote, 10 users voted an average of 6.1 for this show which is just about right. The breakdown of votes show females over 45 years old gave it the poorest rating so you know the show isn't for everyone but I'll go out on a limb and say I think everyone under 45 will enjoy this show. Not everyone will love it or even like it but they will be entertained just as I have. Honestly, and this is not flattering but I'm being honest, most of the time I couldn't avert my eyes in the way you can't look away from a highway car wreck. Here's a huge, over- weight, older white lady talking about her bosom and vagina and telling jokes about her sexual appetite and appeal. Even better, the way she climbs off the stage and interact with her audience in extremely unexpected manners. The audience themselves are probably not random people off the street but rather selected fans and maybe paid actors but I bet my house and dog they were entertained like crazy that evening. Lastly, I've never seen or heard of Bridgette before this show but it seems she has quite the fan base among A-list Hollywood stars. The cameos in the opening credits show you this but the cameo at the end credit is even bigger and better. To summarize this show, Bridgette opened the show asking a couple on the first row if they attended her show before. They reply yes. Bridgette says: "and you're sitting on the front row, you sick bitches!"
It's a bit depressing that almost 3 years after this movie was released, only 12 IMDb members have rated it. Little Red is a modern adaptation of the famous Little Red Riding Hood tale. Ruth, aka Red (Hannah Obst), is an 11 year old girl from Milwaukee who's forced by her parents to go to girls' winter camp. On a whim, she decides to change her plane to go to Florida and ultimately to fulfill her dream of seeing wild horses running on the beach of Cumberland Island. However, Red gets noticed by a predator (Mark Metcalf) who decides he will stop at nothing to get his sick desires with Little Red. I say again it's depressing that only 12 people viewed the movie because, to me, it was beyond superb. The acting isn't anything special but you can tell everyone is doing their absolute best. The fact that the protagonist is played by a child who has never acted before or since is incredible. Mark Metcalf was overwhelmingly menacing and creepy. The exterior shots were great. All in all, a very solid movie considering it must have been done on a shoe lace budget. I'd recommend this film to anyone who isn't squeamish about exploring the depths of child molestation and pre-teen psyche. 7/10
*** This review may contain spoilers ***
The only reason I write this review is because of the sheer number of other reviews that are either rated 1-2 (worst. Movie. Ever) or 9-10 (never seen a greater movie). So this is an attempt at a non bipolar review. In a nutshell without giving up spoilers, a group of former college friends happen to be all shacked up in a country house when the apocalypse takes place and law and order crumble. Like some other reviews mentioned, this is NOT the typical post- apocalyptic movie. It isn't the Walking Dead nor it is Sandra Oh's Last night. Rather, it tried to be a mixture of mild violence and psychological and changes and a lot of background drama. This isn't necessary a bad mixture. There are dozens of movies that show us the blood and gore in the days after the apocalypse. There aren't even close movies that discuss the emotional side of it. Not in a realistic way, anyway. For every day Joe (that's all of us) if the apocalypse does happen today we won't go running around the streets waving machetes like total maniacs. All this said, I liked the atmosphere of the movie. This is a movie under the genre "this COULD happen". However, halfway through the movie, it started to get cliché and by the last 3rd it was just going through the motions. I'm not sure how the script goes but it seemed to me the script was written for the first half of the movie and after that they just made it up as they went. Characters started behaving out-of- normal-and-post-apocalyptic- character. Coincidences started to happen more and more. And the ending was probably the most unfulfilling ending I've seen in a long time. It had a complete feeling of just throwing things together to wrap up and move on. All in all, it was a good movie and I don't regret my time watching it but I'm extremely disappointed to see something that could have been so much better was wrapped up in a rush. I give it 5/10 for trying and managing to be a movie that's neither an indie nor a Hollywood blockbuster.
So, in the years I've been a member of this website (since 2003), this
is the most hurtful blow I've taken. I've fell a victim for online
reviews written by people related to the makers of the movie, concerned
friends and family or what I suspect in this movie case, the "paid"
hired help. This movie is terrible. I've never walked out on a movie
before no matter how bad it was but my wife had to keep pulling my arm
to stop me from storming out of the theater in rage and shame at Guy
Pearce and Katie Holmes. Both names have made immortal art pieces at
some time in their past (Memento for Mr Pearce and Go for msz Cruze).
What compelled them to participate in such a monstrosity as this movie
is beyond me. All I can think of is that they needed money badly. IF
YOU ARE A FAN OF GUY PEARCE OR KATIE HOLMES DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE. I
wish someone told me this before I saw the movie because all of a
sudden I don't really feel like watching either one's future movies.
Now, to review the movie real quick, the story line had great potential. The acting CGI and soundtrack were all offensive to the sane, sober movie goer. The "monsters" are not fit to be in a Disney fairytale production. They looked like a conception of a freshman in computer-design major. The first time the creatures were revealed, the whole movie house broke out in laughter, THAT bad.
The last thing that I have to mention, those IMDb vote results are rigged. NOT by IMDb itself, obviously. A breakdown of the votes show me 400+ votes were 10. A number that no other "scary movie" has ever gotten. Scary movies are entertaining but they are not 10. But, hey, to each his own. A further breakdown reveals that 81 US users and 244 non-US users gave it 10. Hmmmm... A movie produced in the US, set in the US and is as American as a cheeseburger and yet the bulk majority of the people who thought it PERFECT are non US residents... Sounds too fishy. Why another reviewer here subscribes to IMDb and sings all glory to this movie while other "disputably" good movies were all rated one by that same user tells me there is money involved.
Bottom line, the movie is a complete waste of time and money. This movie will go down to the film history as The Fiasco of Guy Pearce, Katie Holmes and Mr del Toror.
2 out of 10 for the fact that someone actually bothered and made this movie at all.
I discovered this movie by searching "post-apocalyptic" right after
watching the Book of Eli. I checked a couple of user reviews that
stated things along the line "best action movie ever created in the
history of film making" and "a masterpiece not to be missed".
So, after watching the first 20 minutes, I started fast-forwarding. After 40 minutes I just kept hoping someone would come along to shoot me in the face and put me out of my misery.
The movie doesn't have a real plot and the script could have been written by a 12-year old kid, very likely it was as a matter of fact. The fight-sequences are so badly performed to the point of being comic. The list goes on and on for why this movie is a very successful way if you want to lower your IQ, fall asleep real fast or both.
The one and only positive thing I can say about this movie is that the guy knows his martial arts. He is clearly well trained and for that thank heaven because the rest of the actors could not fight if their lives depended on it. He was still a bad actor, though.
So, why is it that the reviews I read were "singing praises for this glorious masterpiece"? Well, a quick check reveals that all the incredibly positive reviews were done by accounts opened on the same day and pretty much commented on nothing else but this movie.
Conclusion, if the cast of this movie spent as much time in acting classes as they spent flooding IMDb with false reviews, this movie wouldn't have been so terrible.
2/10 (only because of a couple semi-decent fight scenes)
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