Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
FTV Vague Memories
I seem to remember Buzz Belmondo (more well know from Out Of This World) hosting this show even though neither this page or Buzz's page mention it.
I also only remember two sketches/videos: "Rockin Robin". Where Robin and Batman where beating up bad guys. Then Robin started beating up Batman. I remember it was done in the style of the 60s Adam West show, as the was on in reruns at the time.
The other bit I remember was ZZ Top's song "Legs". There where two or three models with long ZZ Top like beards on their legs. After the song it cut back to Buzz who pulled a clump of hair off his chest and threw it off stage saying "Hey ZZ Girls, you got a bald spot!"
I'd Love to find some clips (or full episodes) somewhere so I could rewatch it.
Black Cougar (2002)
Obscure Out Of The Lupa Film
I picked this up because I saw the creator Silvio Disalvatore on the TV show "American Inventor".
Know going into this that it's not for everyone. If you know who internet reviewer Obscurus Lupa is and like the films she reviews, this film might be for you.
90% of the charm of this film is it's cheese factor and it's badness. It is enjoyably bad. There are parts where one main character calls another main character by that actor's name. The Black Cougar theme song is awesome. The special effects are on par with a Troma film (just not gory)
The film focuses on a toy maker who made himself a teenage son who he then retools to become The Black Cougar after a lot of the neighborhood kids get kidnapped by... smugglers?... human traffickers?... bad guys. The "bad guys" are selling the children to stereotypical foreign terrorists(?)... other bad guys. One of the kids when being put into a cell kicks one of the captors in the shin and flips him off. The kid has to be elementary school age and he's flipping an adult off.
Black Cougar goes in with some kung-fu grip Black Cougar action figures to take out the bad guys and even fights some break-dancing ninjas.... I'm not kidding. He cleans house and saves the day and the kids.
If you enjoy Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, or if you like watching "bad" movies with your friends and riffing on them, then by all means, check it out.
Personally I want to see Lupa review this film
P.S. Please do not go and check out the (no longer) "official web page"... definitely NOT of kids.
Video Game High School (2012)
You can trust this review, I didn't work on the show.
First let me say that I've seen a lot of reviews for this show online. Personally, I'm sure you can trust my review because I didn't work on the show.
I watched the first episode on Netflix and OH CRAP does it suck. The concept has potential, but just the general feel of the show isn't anything I want to waste my time on.
The show follows a gamer that (out of sheer luck) kills the top gamer in the world (or at least the USA) and gets accepted to the school as a result. The school is for game players and developers so they can be better at what they do.
You have your clichéd high school tropes: The underdog/outsider who wants to fit in and prove himself. The girl he is interested in and wants to empress, but she wants nothing to do with him. The girl who likes him, but he is oblivious to her. The jerk-jock who is his rival, but they'll probably become friends later. Unlimited rice pudding! Etcetera! Etcetera!
The writing is like you and your friends setting around giving the outline for an awesome TV show idea and then you film that without expanding on it.
It was slow, boring, annoying and unfunny. The only positive I can give it is it looks good. Everything is shot professionally and the special effects are great, but it's like encrusting a turd with gold and diamonds.
I can already hear some of you say "You can't judge an entire series on the first episode" well then tell me, what purpose does ANY pilot episode serve? It's supposed to make me want to watch the rest of the episodes. In that regard, it failed... MISERABLY.
If I have to rate it... I give it minus 5 stars.
A Christmas Story 2 (2012)
Direct To Video For A Reason
It's a direct to video sequel of a famous well established film that was released 29 years after the original. If any of that sounds like a good idea I have a bridge to sell you.
This should be warning enough that this movie will suck big time.
The only reason this film was made is because you can get the first film for under $10 and newer DVD/Blu-Rays cost more. They are trying to cash in on the first film by giving you similar scenes in this "new" film. Personally I would like to see more stories from the book it was based on.
This movie deserves to have a bar of Life Buoy taped in it's mouth and forced to wear pink bunny footie pajamas for the rest of it's life.
Funny Farm (1988)
They Got The Title Half Right
I made an attempt to watch this on NetFlix and got just over half way through it before I had to tap out. I always try to give films I've never seen a fare shake but this movie is tedious.
Some of the situations are comically ridiculous and I can see why it's supposed to be funny the stuff I did find funny only worked up a mild chuckle out of me. When you are watching a comedy and asking yourself "where is the stuff I'm going to laugh out loud at?" it's not a good sign.
If you are curious and want to know about this film look on wikipedia. and you'll get the same amount of enjoyment. Should have been titled "Mildly Amusing Farm"
House of Fears (2007)
House of LAME
I thought this was going to be a spooky clown film... Nope.
The movie gave it's own best comment: "This is a house of lame". You can use this.. um... "film"? as a horror movie cliché check list.
This thing was like a made for TV movie commissioned and then rejected by the CW network. It seems to me they over spent on this thing. I've seen films with a lower budget that where ten times better because of the story and plot. The general idea (freaky statue that actually makes your fears come to life and kill you) was good but could have been done way better. The film sets itself up for potential awesome (band name) but falls short on delivering.
The only good I can see come from this film is if someone from Thatguywiththeglasses covers it.
If Riftrax does this I would definitely be willing to sit through it again. Honestly I hope the makers of House of Fears either learn from the mistakes made here and go on to make much better films, or find a new line of work.
I will give the film one good point: Towards the beginning one of the guys dresses up as a killer and jumps out at the others. One of the other guys punches him. That has to be in more horror films.
In the end it's NOT a horror film and not even a suspense film. It should have been titled "Wasted Potential" that would have been more accurate.
This is probably the only "horror" film more boring than The Blair Witch Project
Kyôryû sentai Jûrenjâ (1992)
Better than Power Rangers
I have seen the first 5 episodes (subtitled) and I think it is in every way better than Power Rangers.
The stories are better, granted they might not be Shakespeare but it's a kids show. and for a kids show it's good.
The action was cheesy in Power Rangers Because it's the same footage. But then again it's a kids show.
The way they got their powers isn't explained. It would have been nice but I don't think it's needed. Also the way they got their weapons and robots is better IMO.
Just remember this is the original show. Saban took it and localized it badly.
90% of the time the originals are better than the "remake" Please keep that in mind when the craptastic Smurfs Movie comes out.