Reviews written by registered user
josephmarkdavis

6 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

Oculus (2013/I)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
I wanted to like this..., 6 July 2014
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'll be brief. This is just not a great film or even a good guilty pleasure. If I wasn't watching it on a plane right now I'd walk out. Tired clichés... not very scary... poor written... poorly directed some really B level acting especially from the adults in this film. The only thing that was really well done here were the trailers that tricked me into thinking that this would be fun to watch. If you plan to see it stop here as I mention a spoiler... This was so poorly done that I laughed at the tragic ending of the film.

If you want a good scare go watch The Exorcist or The Omen... again. This entire performance and production felt like it was all phoned in for some quick $ from the lucrative horror market.

2 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
CGI Does Not Cut It! Tom Felton- AWFUL, Frieda Pinto- Affected, 6 August 2011

This film was entertaining but not ambitious. CGI is about as realistic as King Kong stop animation in the 1930's- actually it's worse- at least that was scary. CGI eyes show no soul or true emotion whatsoever. The scenes with the baby chimp coming home in the box were embarrassingly bad. Seeing John Lithgow pretend to have Alzheimer's while pretending to hold a baby chimp that obviously was not there was just sad. Tom Felton was AWFUL!!! Completely unbelievable in the part and very distracting. Frieda Pinto's character was undeveloped and her acting falls short. It's a shame that they didn't take this project more seriously. With special effects someone needs to knock Hollywood over the head on this. Maybe it's the cheap way to make a film but it does not look real at all.

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
This blows. Nicolas Cage has the Midas touch but in reverse. Everything he touches turns to sht., 28 December 2008
3/10

Has he ever mad a good film? I seem to remember him being overly hyped playing a drunk in the early 90's. I'm starting to think his uncle Francis Ford ordered him not to use the name Coppola. All of the acting in this is ridiculously affected. And Jon Voigt looks old enough to have been around when the treasure was buried. It seems like everything he does now is strictly destined to be b level cable fodder or worse in the case of his horrific remake of the Wicker Man. We seriously need to have something like a celebrity clearing house that sells off guys like him to Japan where they will still be considered valuable doing cologne commercials.

6 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
PAINFUL. Like sailing from New York to Australia without sleep and little entertainment., 30 May 2007
1/10

I think poking my eyes out slowly with a fork would have been more fun than sitting through this. Trust me... unless you have seen the movies before this and were REALLY into them do not bother. I can't believe Rolling Stone actually thought this crap deserved a cover. It is very boring, often confusing, no skin from Keira, a muddled plot... shall I go on? I suppose I have to given the ten line minimum for reviews here. I kept watching this sea of fake English accents and affected acting thinking of how much money Johnny Depp is making for this retarded franchise. He probably has a mansion in France thanks to these films and doesn't even bother to learn French while he's there. Do I want my ten dollars back? Yeah- plus the 3 long hours of my life that went with it.

2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
This Movie Is COMPLETELY Overrated!!!!!!!!!!!, 30 May 2007
1/10

Picture of the year my ass. It was completely mediocre and played like a made for TV movie from the 70's. The Boston actors can't even remember how to speak Southie and the "Whitey" character is not at all scary. This film does not deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence as The Godfather. Even Godfather 3 was better than this. Leonardo DiCaprio believable as a mobster? Or as a tough guy cop? Come on. Same goes for Matt Damon. This did not deserve to win... at all. The Pursuit of Happiness, Letters From Iwo Jima and Pan's Labyrinth were all much better. So was The Last King of Scotland. So was every episode of the TV show Prison Break for that matter. It's time to stop the hype on this before we start getting remakes shoved down our throat.

32 out of 45 people found the following review useful:
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Wow this remake SUCKS!!!!!!, 2 September 2006
1/10

Sometimes laughter in the middle of a horror film is a signal of its greatness. I remember the nervous laughter from the audience in the re-release of The Excorcist… really nervous laughter. It punctuated just how freaked out we all were watching the voice of Satan coming out of a 12 year old girl. In the case of the 2006 remake of the 1972 cult classic The Wicker Man however, it made me think that this new Wickerman is about as scary as the South Park character, Scuzzlebut, the friendly forest monster with TV's Patrick Duffy for a leg and a celery stalk for an arm who's favorite hobby is weaving wicker baskets.

3 years ago a friend of mine in Hollywood told me that he heard that Nicolas Cage was going to do a remake of the film. I started laughing and my friend (Keith) got mad at me touting Nicolas Cage as a great actor. I just didn't think that he could pull it off and unfortunately for moviegoers I was right. Gone is the realness, the outstanding original music, the originality, the creepiness and the wonderfully powerful dialogue. Instead we have horror movie clichés, affected acting and changes to the storyline that make any believability fall apart. Like many of the countless Hollywood remakes we have been inundated with lately this feels like we are watching 4th graders on a playground "playing Wickerman".

The original film takes place on a remote Scottish Isle where a Scottish police officer is lured there to find a missing young girl named Rowan Morrison. In the new spin a California cop (Cage) is lured to an island of the coast of Washington state by his ex-girlfriend to find her missing daughter. She sends a photo and the missing daughter looks exactly like a young girl he tried to save in a fiery crash not long ago. The crash still haunts him in part because the girl's body was never found. Yet even after he gets a letter with her picture in it that connection is completely cast aside as he heads north, alone, to help his ex-girlfriend find her daughter. He arrives to find an island full of actors pretending to be the descendants of Wiccans, many of whom seem like they didn't get call backs for roles in The Village. And like The Village it isn't long before you realize there is nothing to be afraid of here. Not even the cloudy eyed blind sisters who speak in unison.

I think that the opportunity in Hollywood to make great amounts of money on a film often comes at great expense to the artistry. I think someone like Nicolas Cage who is in so many films these days loses touch with the magic that film can be when it gets to the point where he has a personal chef on the set preparing his snacks. We needed a bad re-make of the Wickerman like we needed yet another '9-11' movie. I'm starting to wonder if Nicolas changed his surname from Coppola because he wanted to or because he was pleaded with to do so.