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Scary Movie 3 (2003)
One of the directors of "Airplane" directed THIS?!
I've seen the movie "Airplane" and I saw "Scary Movie 2" (I didn't see #1), and they were both funny. Of the people of the famous ZAZ comedy team, Jerry Zucker made the very-good "Rat Race", Jim Abrahams didn't do anything after "Mafia!", and David Zucker became the black sheep, directing crap like "Scary Movie 3". In this cinematic tripe, reporter Cindy Campbell investigates a friends death probably related to a mysterious videotape (a-la "The Ring") and crop circles in a farm. Her nephew watches the tape, and she gets worried that he might die. She sets off for the origins of the tape, and everything gets tied together by aliens invading the earth. It spoofs things such as Michael Jackson, The Matrix, and horror films around during production. There are some laughs here and there but this film is mostly crap, although I seen worse movies (the worst being "A.I.", "The Animal", "Down With Love", and "The Matrix Reloaded". This film sucks. 4/10
It was good the first time around, but it sucks once you see it again and again
This movie is indeed one of those movies where it was good when you first see it, but as you see it more and more, the humor and magic of this movie goes away quickly. In other words, let's say you make up a very funny joke. As you say it to a crowd of people, they will laugh out loud because of the joke. Then, you say the joke again and again. As you say the joke more and more, the less funny it becomes. Another example is a piece of gum. As you chew it longer and longer, it loses its flavor. That is the case with this movie. This movie beat the Rugrats Movie and Prince of Egypt as biggest-grossing non-Disney animated movie. I don't need to say the story, since everybody saw the movie. When I saw the movie the first time around, I laughed out loud at the gross-out and spoof humor (like the opening intro and the It's A Small World spoof), and it had a message. I wound up seeing the movie a second time. It was still OK. I saw it a third time and a fourth time. It lost its flavor then. I give this a 5 out of 10. It's not that the entire movie sucks in general. The case is that the movie is good the first time around, but as you see it more and more, it runs out of gas.
Star Fox Adventures (2002)
Rare's last hurrah for Nintendo
I played all of the Star Fox games except for the original SNES Star Fox (because I was a wee bit too young for the video game world during the SNES days). I did like the Star Fox 64 game, which brought rumble to the home consoles with the Rumble Pak bundled in the box. I got this game as a holiday gift last year along with Metroid Prime (the best game ever as of 8/30/03). It's a pretty good game. I heard it used to be for the N64 as "Dinosaur Planet", which would have been the last of the N64 giants, but as Rare realized that the end was near for the N64, they decided to cancel the game, give it a major facelift, and make it for the Gamecube, executed as a Star Fox game. In the game, our hero Fox McCloud is called upon to save Dinosaur Planet (which is being split to pieces by General Scales and his Sharpclaw army) and save some lady fox named Krystal. It takes returning the Krazoa Spirits, the guardians of Dinosaur Planet, finding the Spellstones, and bringing down Scales and the Sharpclaw. SFA has their share of great graphics, which, when it comes to the Star Fox series, improve in a revolutionary manner by the times (the original with the graphics powered by the S-FX chip put into the cartridges, SF64 with their anti-aliased graphics [which were very advanced at the time] and the Rumble, and SFA's detailed graphics of the worlds around Fox) . However, there are flaws. Some of the puzzles you must solve are a waste of time. Part of your quest is run-and-fetch, which can be annoying at times (you have to look for lost dinosaur kids scattered at the Lightfoot Village one time). When it comes to the voices, while some voice acting is pretty good (like the greedy dinosaur running the store at Thorntail Valley who complains about wanting to live at Cape Claw), some are pretty annoying (like Prince Tricky, who goes with you on your quest, and Peppy [whose voice wasn't frail in the N64 game]) or unintentionally hilarious (like King Earthwalker or one of the Lightfoot mothers [the one who says "My babies are sooo naughty... they like to play underground"], who sort of sounds like Cartman in "South Park"). Prince Tricky, like I said, is annoying at times. I didn't like the racing parts where you race the Sharpclaw at times (it took me my guide to go through it). The parts where you fly your Arwing to get to other planets and back are great and bring back memories for those who played the previous Star Fox games, but they are completely short. There is no multiplayer, which SF64 has that SFA doesn't (then again, who cares about multiplayer, and that the multiplayer in SF64 sucks hard). It is, overall, a great game. Sadly, this game is Rare's last game for Nintendo, whereas as the game was released, Nintendo announced that they sold their share of Rare back to Rare, which then went to Microsoft, which, in turn, led to Microsoft owning Rare and having Rare make games exclusively for the Xbox (thus having games in development for Gamecube at the time delayed and brought to the Xbox). This game is probably the only Rare game for Gamecube (Rare's support in the N64 days where a contributing factor to the hit N64 was [though not as successful as the Playstation, which competed against the N64]). However, hope is not all lost to the ailing Nintendo. There is Square able to make games again for Nintendo (though Square games for the Playstation 2 are in the works too [although the introduction to the PSP might lead to Square supporting Sony completely again]). All the franchises Rare left behind that are owned by Nintendo, like Banjo-Kazooie, Star Fox (though Rare did not make the previous Star Fox games), and Donkey Kong (Rare did not make the original DK games, but they did make the 1990's DK games [Donkey Kong Country, Donkey Kong Land, Donkey Kong 64]), are now picked up by THQ ( picking up Banjo-Kazooie, Sabre Wulf, and Mr. Pants) and Namco ( picking up Star Fox and Donkey Kong). However, even though THQ is probably not redeveloping the Rare franchises they picked up (their games are on the Game Boy Advance) since those games probably went gold before Microsoft bought Rare, when it comes to Namco matters, thats the thing to worry about, because of the lackluster showings of Star Fox 2 at E3 2003 and Namco having the Gamecube Donkey Kong be some sort of gimmicky Sambe De Amigo ripoff involving some damn conga controller (then again, the Star Fox game might be changed between the E3 showings and the product coming out). I give this game a 9 out of 10.
Lloyd in Space (2001)
A minimal effort
In 2000, Paul and Joe, the creators of Recess (and also the key writers of "Rugrats" from 1991 to 1995, also known as the good era of "Rugrats", before Nick took over) realized that "Recess" is on its last legs before getting canceled by Disney (in other words, "Recess" was close to the 65th episode). So, they made another show, "Lloyd in Space". That turns out to be nothing more than some cheap-ass (sorry) imitation of Recess with aliens, robots, and spaceships thrown into it. Lloyd, like TJ in "Recess", is just another misfit kid with misfit friends (except that Lloyd is not a schemer, unlike TJ and TJ is not a dork unlike Lloyd). Like in "Recess", the adults are treated like tyrants who make life tough for children by making rules and blowing off steam at them, and an example is Lloyd's mother, who is portrayed as strict on her kids (also, the robot teacher in school is strikingly similar to Mrs. Finster in "Recess"). Like in "Recess", there are characters on the show that are rich, popular, and gossipy bitches (sorry, again) that talk badly about Lloyd and his friends and that they think they're hot stuff and that their vocabulary is of barely anything more than "whatever", "totally", and "like..." (that blue alien bitch [sorry] is strikingly similar to Ashley A. in "Recess"). And heck, certain characters sound like characters in "Recess" (Lloyd sounds like Gus, Eddie sounds like Gelman [although Gelman is a bully on "Recess" and Eddie is not a bully], the robot teacher sounds like the secretary on "Recess" [I think her name is Mrs. Lemon], Douglas's mother sounds like Mrs. Grotke, and that that blue alien woman sounds like Ashley A.). If I hear people saying that this show is fresh and original, they have a very bad taste in entertainment. I give this a 5 out of 10
DISCO!!! So wonderful that it makes up for Disney for canceling "Teacher's Pet"
The show is about suave former-juvenile-delinquent-turned-safety-patrol-person Cornelius Fillmore (catchphrase: "Disco!") solving crimes for the X Middle School safety patrol with partner Ingrid Third (catchphrase: "Crackers"), who is smart and known for her photographic memory. Other main characters are Vallejo (the safety control commissioner, who always blows off steam at the dynamic duo [catchphrase: "FILLMOORRE!!!"]), Principal Folsom (the principal of X, who is an egotistical bitch [sorry, folks] who wants the safety patrol to solve a crime ASAP for her personal gain [catchphrase: some sentence involving the safety patrol to solve the crime ASAP for her personal gain]), and the other safety patrol people (Danny O' Farell [a nerd], Joseph Anza [the laid back one], and Karen Tehama [the forensics expert]). At first, I thought "This is the show they are canceling Teacher's Pet for?", but a couple of months later, I saw it and it was good (my favorite episodes are "To Mar a Stall", "Red Robins Don't Fly", "Ingrid Third: Public Enemy", "A Cold Day At X", and "A Forgotten Yesterday"). It's so good it makes up for Disney for taking TP off the air. I give this a 10 out of 10.
Teacher's Pet (2000)
It's a shame Disney unceremoniously took the show off the air
When I was in vacation somewhere last year, my dad showed me this good ABC cartoon called Teacher's Pet. It's about a dog, Spot, longing to live in the human world, disguising as a human student, Scott Leadready II (Spot thought up the "Leadready II" part after seeing a pencil with "Lead Ready #2" on it) and attending school. The owner, Mrs. Helperman is the teacher while her son and Spot's/Scott's human companion, Leonard Helperman, is a student in Mrs. Helperman's fourth grade class with Spot/Scott (well, DUH?!). Spot/Scott is very smart and full of wisdom at the school. The school is called Fala D. Roosevelt Elementary School (named after President Franklin D. Roosevelt's dog). Other character's are Leslie (Leonard's love interest), Ian Wazzol...err..Woszel... oh what the hell...Waszelewski (another student, who is gross), The 5th Graders (bullies), Principal Strickler (who loves cats and has a very strong grudge against dogs, and also has a menacing cat named Tallulah), The Helperman's pet cat Mr. Jolly (for someone named Jolly, he is paranoid and reclusive [afraid of the outside world and spending his life in his house]), and the Helperman's pet bird Pretty Boy (who is a wiseguy who is friends with Mr. Jolly). The show is fresh and original. I loved the writing, the animation, the classical/opera music playing in the background, and the casting (Nathan Lane is a pretty good voice for Spot/Scott). However, Disney was mistreating the show, like having new episodes on Toon Disney, which is a digital/satellite channel (even though I have a sattelite dish, I think half of the population has digital/sattelite while the other half has basic 99-channel cable). The show was on a supposed long 5-month hiatus with the last episode airing in March 2002. However, in the beginning of the 2002-2003 season, Disney ended up taking TP off the ABC schedule and hauling reruns to Toon Disney, when they decided to retire the One Saturday Morning concept in favor of ABC Kids. Of the whole new ABC Kids (which turned out to be a couple of show out of the Disney Channel [like Kim Possible and Lizzie McGuire], Recess [though already cancelled], Fillmore [the new show on the block], an NBA show, and another cheap-ass [sorry] Power Rangers show [which was already overexposed enough]), Teacher's Pet wasn't one of the shows on the block. However, all hope is not lost. Fillmore, the show that's taking TP's 9:30 AM timeslot, is so good it makes up for Disney for canceling TP. There's talk of a TP movie coming out in 2004 and a new season (both are not very likely, since the show is already taken off the ABC schedule and reruns hauled into Toon Disney, and it's ridiculous to first dump a show off the schedule of a channel and bring it back on out of regret [in Rugrat's case, after 1995, Nick did not dump Rugrats off the schedule the way TP was by Disney]), the haven of Disney's other cartoons, which were canceled by Disney due to either Disney not caring, or that damned (sorry, again) 65-episode limit. I give this a 10 out of 10.
All That (1994)
The SNL for the kids, which means that the show went to ruin due to the last of the original cast quitting
I barely watch SNL, but I hear all that crap about the show sucking once the last of the original cast quit. My dad says that SNL was bad for a while, but it went good again. However, I don't watch SNL, except when their's NBC specials occasionally. Although, to me, the SNL's case of sucking is not clear, All That's case of sucking was clear to me. The 1990's years were the glory days of All That. The stars considered by people to be the best of All That, like Amanda Bynes(one of the least favorites of the 1996-1999 years), Kenan and Kel, Lori Beth Denberg, and Danny Temberelli were from the show's 1990's heyday. There were zany off-the-wall sketches like Super Dude (played by Kenan), which was a Superman spoof, in which, let's say, dairy products are to Super Dude as kryptonite are to Superman (in other words, dairy food was SD's weakness), Vital Information for your Everyday Life with Lori Beth Denberg (Danny Temberelli filled in for LBD when she quit, but Danny couldn't hold a candle for Vital Information), and Good Burger with Kenan and Kel, which is about 2 employees, Dexter and Ed (Kenan and Kel), who work at the fast food restaraunt ("Welcome to the Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, may I take your order?"), which was so funny it spawned a spinoff movie, which was a hit in its own right. There is one big problem: all of the cast members came and gone after two or three years in the limelight. The people replacing the people that quit couldn't hold a candle for the people they're replacing. In 2000, it's gotten to the point where there aren't any members of the 1990's cast anymore. Because of that, All That, like Rugrats, went down to Hell. The so-called comedians of now are awful and the sketches are gay pieces of crap, like Harry Bladder, which disses Harry Potter, Sugar and Coffee, which is about hyperactive morons who promote, well, sugar and coffee, which is not good quality for children, and TOY E.R., an E.R. spoof where a bunch of quack doctors FIX GODDAMNED BROKEN TOYS!!!! Why the hell would quantity and money replace quality (the reason why is not really because of the people quitting, but because of those miscast morons serving as replacement, after all it would be disturbing to see 70-year-old people doing children's stand up comedy). The new All That gets an F. 0 out of 10. No Stars. Et Cetera.
Spy Kids 3: Game Over (2003)
The Spy Kids movies are starting to sag (SPOILERS)
I've seen all the other SK movies. I liked the first movie the best, and the second movie wasn't as good as the first but it's still good. However, the third movie was a disappointment compared to the others. #3 was average in my opinion. In the movie, Juni, working for himself, ends up getting hauled back to the OSS for a mission. Juni's mission is to shut down the hit video game called, well, "Game Over" and to save his sister from the Toymaker, the maker of the game. In order to do that, he must go to level 5, where you can shut the game off. There are references to games such as "Tetris", "Metroid", "F-Zero", and "Halo". The 3D segments were OK, but I like how IMAX does 3D better, rather that the ol' "Red and Blue Lens" concept of 3D movies from their 1950's heyday, since the 3D effect of IMAX 3D movies are closer to the audience and that you don't see nauseating red and blue that you must get used to. The movie was full of flaws. There weren't as much jaw-dropping concepts as there were in the others (all there was for concepts were the miniature sharks and "Game Over"). The 3D, though OK, wasn't as good as the 3D in IMAX 3D movies. Juni was slightly off-character (he isn't a dork that touches everything). The romance of Juni and a character from the game was odd. Grandpa is more of a hero in the movie than Juni, even though posters and previews showed Juni as the great hero. The last minutes of the movie with the big robot battle and Grandpa's reasoning with the Toymaker were crap. There were some scenes in the movie that were mushy and hokey (like the "It's not about winning. It's about fun." line from the Toymaker, in my opinion, was nothing more than a throwaway line just to add in a moral). Everything was all flashy and stuff.
I give this a 5 out of 10.
The bottom line is that the third time is sort of not the charm, and if you want to see all of the Spy Kids movies, prepare to be dissapointed by the third movie after you see the others, though it was sort of OK in some ways.
Sabrina, the Animated Series (1999)
All spit at what's possibly the worst show ever
This s**t is possibly the worst show I've ever seen. There is the title character Sabrina, the teenage witch from what was the then-popular ABC TV show "Sabrina the Teenage Witch". However, the Sabrina from this show is completely different from the Sabrina that everybody loved at the time (cartoon Sabrina seems younger than the "...Teenage Witch" Sabrina [in fact, Melissa Joan Hart's little sister plays the title role in this show, while Melissa plays Aunts Hilda and Zelda]). All the people that came from the actual show are older compared to the people from the cartoon. Hilda and Zelda are adults compared to the teenage hippies the Aunts are in the cartoon. There's no Uncle Quigly, Pi (who's an annoying moron who is obsessed with the supernatural and believes that there are aliens), or Jem (who's a mean, spoiled brat who rubs it in at everybody's faces) in the actual show. I don't like the voices for Pi or Jem (they're too dark). The animation and writing sucks (Hey! Whaddya expect from DiC, of whom I heard ruined "Sailor Moon" when it came to America). That show, in my opinion, was the point when the actual "Sabrina" series became obscure. I even stopped watching "Sabrina" as it was on its last legs. Good thing the show is gone, but I don't like the reason why (because of Disney's controversial "65-episode-limit" where every show from Disney, regardless of whether it sucks or it's popular, gets off the air after exactly 65 episodes [enough episodes for a show to be internationally syndicated]). I give this show no stars. In the immortal words of S.H. Panda from South Park: "That makes me a saaaaaaad panda"
An example of a show that went down to Hell
In 1991, Rugrats debuted as one of the first 3 Nicktoons (alongside Doug and Ren & Stimpy). The original episodes were, well, original, but its popularity was overshadowed by R&S. However, as R&S's popularity came to an abrupt end after Nick made the episodes, Rugrats maintained a fighting chance, but the show ended production in 1994 after 65 episodes, with the last one, "Passover", airing in 1995. Nick, however, felt bad for "Rugrats", thinking of why would a good show die young. So, Nick gave Rugrats the Ren & Stimpy treatment. Production began in 1996 with the first post-95 episode, "Chanukah", airing in December. The show returned as a regular show in 1997. As the episode writing was average, the voices, animation, and music were bad. However in 1997, the voice of Grandpa died and he was replaced by Joe Alaskey, who made Grandpa sound like a drunken Daffy Duck. If you think that was nothing, they introduced Baby Dil, Tommy's baby brother, in 1998 when the "Rugrats Movie" came out. Although the movie grossed over $100,000,000, Dil's introduction was the true point of when the show started to suck. However, the show was a hit to those new to the show while it wasn't to those who watched the old Rugrats. Every aspect of the episode, including the writing was bad. Nick was purely behind the show. THe show is now getting worse, and Rugrats' popularity is lowering because of new blood like Spongebob and Oddparents and Nick is not behind Rugrats that much anymore.
If you want Rugrats, watch the old episodes, not the post-1995 crap.