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Sirus_the_Virus

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It was fine for 3/4 of it., 20 February 2010
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

John C. Reilly brings life to Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant. That's a good line. Cause he plays a vampire. The Vampire's assistant is a better film than I expected it to be. I was expecting cheesy effects, un-funny lines, and other things. But as it actually is, the effects were kind of cheesy, and there are some really big laughs.

This is a film from director Paul Weitz, or Chris, who co-directed American Pie. This is the first time he's directed a movie by himself. He doesn't do that bad of a job I might add. I read the second book in the series, so I guess I never read the book about this. The Vampire's assistant is good fun for at least 3/4 of the way. But the last part of it is just annoying.

Newcomer Chris Massoglia stars as Darren Shan, a teenager who is given an invitation to a freak show. Him and his annoying friend Steve(played by the always annoying Josh Hutchinson)attend, and soon Darren meets Mr. Crepsley(played greatly by John C. Reilly), a vampire.

When Steve is bitten by Crepsley's spider, Crepsley makes him a deal that he has to become his assistant. Eventually, Steve wants revenge and becomes evil cause he hates his life and other stuff happens.

The Vampire's assistant works for 3/4 of the way. It's the last part that really crumbles. The last part of the movie is pretty stupid. Mostly do to Hutchinson's character. I don't think he's a good actor period.

The cast is good. Such as Willem Defoe, Salma Heyak, and I think there's somebody else but I can't think of anyone. John C. Reilly is very funny. And it's an entertaining movie. But the last part of the film is cheesy, and annoying. I have hope for a sequel, though it most likely won't happen do to how much money it made. I still thought it was fun though.

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant:B-

3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
De Niro is great, but the movie alone is just cold., 20 February 2010
6/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Robert De Niro stars as a widowed father in Everybody's fine, a remake of an Italian film. De Niro's acting in the movie is more than fine. Him and Drew Barrymore are very good. In some cases performances can make a movie. Well, De Niro is one of those actors that makes a movie work. But, unfortunately, the movie doesn't really work.

I think that the film would be fine if it wasn't so shallow. Yes I said shallow. 3/4 of the film is shallow. I mean throughout most of the film his children are ignoring him deliberately. I mean these people are harsh.

De Niro stars as a widowed father who invites his grown up kids(played by Kate Beckinsale, Drew Barrymore, and Sam Rockwell)to his house for a reunion. But they all cancel out on him. So he leaves his house, and visits his kids. But there is a horrible truth about the other child that they try to keep a secret.

De Niro is pretty terrific in every movie he's in. From Goodfellas to even Stardust. And he is the only thing that brings life to this movie. This film seemed pretty shallow. Everyone besides Drew Barrymore and De Niro were unlikable. Barrymore is pleasant in anything. She is here too.

The movie is really shallow. It's never exactly a good idea to tell someone bad news when they're in a coma. The film may not be perfection. But De Niro keeps it from doom. And the ending is sweet. And by the end you will have a little smile on your face. I did.

Everybody's fine: B-

5 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
To some surprise, I loved it., 20 February 2010
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Benicio Del tor and Anthony Hopkins star in The Wolfman. I love films like this. Horror movies based on classics. I was a fan of The Mummy remake, Van Helsing if you'd call it one, and Sleepy Hollow. Well, I liked it more than The Mummy and Van Helsing, but I can't quite say that it was better than Sleepy Hollow.

The wolfman is a well made film. There is a lot to admire about this film. Such as the film's beautiful setting. The Wolfman has some terrific action sequences and a cheesy one. But here you can forgive them for a cheesy action sequence.

The Wolfman kind of aims for cheesiness. When it comes to blood and violence. You could even compare it to The Evil dead but not quite as extreme. There is quite a bit of violence here, but some of it is so extreme it's kind of funny. The Mummy or Van Helsing never really had that much violence. Sleepy Hollow and The wolfman, on the otherhand, do, and that's why they are better.

Benicio Del Toro plays Lawrence Talbot, an American who returns to his house in a Victorian era England. Where he finds out that his brother Ben has been murdered. But nobody knows who or what did it. So Lawrence promises Ben's girlfriend Gwen(played by the always likable Emily Blunt)that he will find whatever or whoever killed his brother.

Eventually, Lawrence finds out that the thing behind his brother's death is a werewolf. And soon Lawrence is bitten by it. Eventually, while he is a werewolf, Lawrence finds out secrets about his father(played by Anthony Hopkins) and his family. And he is on the run from the police(led by the terrific Hugo Weaving).

To some surprise, I loved this film. I loved it's cheesy occasional violence and it's cast and it's awesome action sequences. In some movies like this you can't exactly compliment on the acting. Well, I will compliment everyone here. The film was very well made and written. This is from the writer of Seven, so you can't be too surprised. Forget team Edward or Jacob, go team Wolfman.

The wolfman: A

1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Flawed, but I have hope for a sequel., 19 February 2010
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Nowadays, it seems to me like it's hard to find a film that's not based on a novel. There are so many. Not only is it based on a novel, it's based on some kid's fantasy story. Those can be good sometimes. Well, really, most of the time. Really, i'm not up for team Edward or team Jacob or any of that stupidity. I'm for team Harry Potter. Some films that have been based on a children's novel never got a sequel. A series of unfortunate events never got one. I loved that movie. I hope Percy Jackson does.

To start off, I will say that I didn't love it. I think it has it's flaws, but really, it's not great. There is stuff to admire here. Such as the cast. I will admit that I liked this film more than the original Harry Potter. But I didn't love it.

Logan Lerman, a likable actor, stars as Percy Jackson, a kid with a troubled life. He has dyslexia, and his mom(played by the always great Catherine Keener)is married to a slob(played by the always great Joe Poli- something. I've never been able to spell that last name.)One day, after an attack at a museum, things start to unfold. Percy realizes that his friend Grover(played by Tropic thunder's Brandon T. Jackson)is a creature and so is one of his teachers(played by the always likable Piece Brosnan). Him and his mother escape and eventually she is kidnapped.

He is eventually taken to a camp where he trains and eventually meets a female who they at first attack each other and predictably fall in love. Eventually, Percy finds out that his mother is in the underworld. So Percy and his friends set off on a quest to find his mother.

There are some neat special effects here and some cool action sequences. At one point the movie is kind of trippy. I found there to be a lot of wit involved too. Trust me you won't be bored by this movie.

But like most movies, there is flaws. One problem was that some of the dialogue is kind of cheesy. Another is that the film is a little long. But the main problem is that there is a big cast, a great one too, but most of the actors don't get enough screen time. I mean here we have Piece Brosnan, Uma Thurman, Rosario Dawson, Sean Bean, Steve Coogan, Catherine Keener, and others and only like two of them are in it for more than a scene. That was my main flaw. But if you couldn't care less about it, then ignore what I have to say and indulge yourself in this movie.

Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief: B+

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Starts off a little slow, but works., 17 February 2010
9/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Woody Allen and Mia Farrow were once married. Eventually, they adopted an Asian girl. And supposedly when she turned 17 Allen had an affair with her. That was years ago. That might have even been after the period when Allen had filmed the film Broadway Danny Rose.

In Broadway Danny Rose you see Allen and Farrow fall in love with each other. And you think, well, he made a mistake. Of course he did. He cheated on his wife for a 17 year old Asian. Allen is a weird guy. He went from Diane Keaton, to Mia Farrow, to an Asian girl, to Scarlett Johanson. The guy needs to make up his mind.

I started watching Broadway Danny Rose and was a little bored by it. It's only an 84 minute film. I didn't really see it going anywhere. But it does. And then I started to have good feelings about it. and at the end, I was happy I saw it.

Allen stars as Danny Rose, a loser agent that tries to actually keep a client. A musician named Lou. Lou says that the only way he will go on is if his mistress Tina(played by Mia Farrow) comes and sees him.

So Rose goes to find Tina and follows her to a gangster's house. Where he is under the impression that Rose and Tina are together. But all Rose is trying to do is bring Tina to the show. And eventually, once they leave, the gangster sends his brothers to go and find these two. And Tina and Danny are on the run.

Broadway Danny Rose is a very funny and entertaining film once it picks itself up. I love all of Allen's films. And when I started it I wasn't too amazed but in the end it turned out very good. We all know that in Allen's films he always adds a case of unrealistic in them. In some of them. this is one of those. But you don't mind them being unrealistic. Because when they are unrealistic, they are a lot of fun.

Broadway Danny Rose: A-

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A realistic romantic dramedy with a spectacular cast., 17 February 2010
9/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Radha Mitchell plays a woman with a troubled past in Melinda & Melinda. Radha Mitchell is a little known actress. I have only seen her in three films. And I must say that I have enjoyed all of those. But in those films you never really see much acting from her. In Melinda & Melinda, Mitchell shines.

Woody Allen yet again shows that all of his films are great. This is another one. This is a unique one too. Allen here demonstrates a good use in story telling and shows that he's not only great at romantic comedies, but at romantic dramedies too. He can do anything. He can even do murder mystery. But I think he really shines with drama. My favorite Allen film, Match point(which Woody Allen even says is his favorite), was spectacular.

Melinda & Melinda is a story told in two different formats. One is a drama and the other is a comedy. In the drama and the comedy, Melinda(played by Radha Mitchell) barges in at a dinner party. A woman with a troubled past. In the comedy, she's a woman who walks in after taking 28 sleeping pills. In the drama, she's a woman with a troubled past that goes to stay with her old friend(played by Chloe Sevigny).

In both she stays with the couples(in the comedy played by Will Ferrel and Amanda Peet and in the drama Chloe Sevigny). In the comedy, an out of work actor(played by Ferrell) wants Melinda, but doesn't want to hurt his wife. In the other, her friend tries to hook Melinda up, but falling in love with him.

You sort of know that one is not going to end happy. Out of the two formats, you will be more interested in the comedy. Will Ferrell is funny as the actor. And there are a couple of cameos such as Josh Brolin and Steve Carrell.

All of the acting is very good. This is a film that shows you that life isn't nice sometimes. But you can take my word for it, you will be very entertained. A lot of stuff happens. The comedy side seems like original Allen, and so does the drama. It's nice to see. Until the end. The drama end isn't too nice. But neither is life. See it.

Melinda & Melinda: A-

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Groundbreaking., 15 February 2010
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Steven Spielberg is a director that tends to do films that have something groundbreaking. For instance, Jaws became the scariest film of all time. Not only cause the film is realistic and horrifying as it is, but because people still think about it when they go in the water today. Hell, I do.

Jurassic Park was a groundbreaking film do to it's spectacular special effects. At the time, they were like nothing anyone had ever seen before. And it won the best visual effects award. It deserved it. Now days, Spielberg could remake Jurassic park and use the same special effects, but make them better. But Spielberg knows that what he did was art, and he wouldn't bother with it again.

Jurassic Park is based on the Michael Crichton novel about a group of explorers who go to a new theme park for a preview and everything goes wrong when it breaks down and all of the cloned dinosaurs run free around the island.

In both Jurassic Park films that Spielberg did, he has one scene in both that I find disturbing. In the first one, it's Wayne Knight's death scene. Every time I see it that part always creeps me out. Jurassic Park really works cause of it's spectacular special effects. Spielberg is a genius no matter what. It's a shame he doesn't do as much nowadays. He's done so many classics. I want to see more from him.

Jurassic Park: A

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
A terrific film about horrific events., 15 February 2010
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Some people believe that Adolf Hitler was possessed by the devil. Well, that may sound ridiculous to some but actually not to me. There is no way someone could be so evil. There have been a couple of films to show how sick he was. One of them was The Great escape. another was the revenge fantasy Inglourious Basterds. Both terrific films. One film that I will never forget(those two aren't forgettable)is Schindler's list, which won best picture in 1993.

Schindler's list is probably one of the best films i've ever seen. It has such a great story. It's at times very disturbing. Oskar Schinlder was a great guy. Excluding the fact that he was a part of the Nazi party. But he risked his life for the Jews, with knowing that he'd get in trouble. Schindler's list is a devastating film.

Steven Spielberg has been making classic films for many, many years. He is a genius. I have only seen one of his films that i've disliked. Artificial intelligence. My favorite of his is Raiders of the lost ark. Then Schindler's list. The film may be three hours long. Sometimes when it's a three hour film I can't bear it anymore. Such as Transformers 2. But if it's Lord of the rings, or Gandhi, or Schindler's list, there is no way that I will call the length a flaw.

Liam Neeson plays a great guy named Oskar Schindler, a business man in the Nazi party. He soon opens up a factory in Poland. When he realizes what the Nazi's are doing to the Jews, Oskar and his friend(the always great Ben Kingsley)hire Jews to work in the factory to keep them out of concentrations camps.

Ralph Feinnes stars as a sadistic Nazi who really just kills anyone. For instance there is a scene when there is a Jew walking through the street and he shoots her. Embeth Davidz stars as his slave.

Nazis were sadistic, power hungry, fame seeking bastards. Every time I watch Inglourious Basterds, I think, if only this were based on the truth. If only Hitler was shot to death inside a movie theater. But Schindler's list is based on a true story. Oskar Schindler was a great man. He saved the lives of about 1100 Jews. This is one of the best films I have ever seen. I think. This is a brutal film. And, unlike many films, it actually nearly got a tear out of me. That rarely happens. And when it does, it's either because the film is truly spectacular or because it's just a sad film. Well, in the Schindler's list case, it could really go either way.

Schindler's list: A

Strange, but very funny., 14 February 2010
9/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Woody Allen stars as an adoptive parent in Mighty Aphrodite. Mighty Aphrodite is a hilarious film, with many strange things in it. Kind of like Allen's 2006 film, Scoop. There are just many odd things about it. Including musical numbers. And things including Greek stuff.

Allen's movies are usually very funny. and the man is a genius. The plot alone to this film sounds funny. The film has many good performances. But the one that was looked at the most was Mira Sorvino. I can only think of two films that she has starred in. I loved them both. She is terrific in this movie. So is Woody Allen of course. But Sorvino is something else. I mean she won the Oscar.

Woody Allen and Helena Bonham Carter star as a couple looking to adopt children. They adopt a boy and name him Max. Years go on and they find out Max is a genius. So Allen's character goes off and tries to find the parents. He soon meets the mother(played excellently by Mira Sorvino) and finds out that she's a hooker and a porn star. He soon starts to get to know her, and his life kind of falls apart too.

I don't know what it is with Woody Allen's films. But I can rarely ever find a flaw with them. I mean even his ones that didn't do well, such as Scoop and Whatever works. I just love them all. I have a hard time finding flaws with his films. The only flaw with this one is that there are some strange moments. There is. The same thing with Scoop though. I love Woody Allen's films. The guy may be a pervert, but his films are genius.

Mighty Aphrodite: A-

Hard Candy (2005)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
A smart thriller., 14 February 2010
9/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Ellen Page and Patrick Wilson star in Hard candy, a smart thriller that will make you cringe, laugh, and will blow you away. The performances will, so will the movie itself. I don't know when Ellen Page started her career. I think it was with this film. I don't know where Patrick Wilson started his either, but both of these actors are terrific. They are terrific both together and by themselves.

Page, already nominated for an Oscar in her life, is a terrific actress. If this is indeed her first film, then she must've been genius her entire career. Patrick Wilson, i've never seen before this. But i've always liked him. This is a smart thriller that works. See it.

Hard candy: A-


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