Reviews written by registered user

9 reviews in total 
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The Double 0 Kid (1992) (V)
9 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
Mildly more entertaining than ramming a railroad spike in your eye-socket, 6 June 2003

It's a goofy movie, with computer graphics that weren't state of the art in 1993, never mind today. There's some humor that works. Brigitte Nielsen looks great in a bunch of tight outfits, and you get to watch good actors seriously slumming. If it's 2AM and you've been drinking, it might be worth your time.


6 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Nice scenery, bad movie, 6 June 2003

Have you ever watched one of those movies where, after about 30 minutes, you realize that you really, really wish that the capable actors in it were in something a bit better written? This is one of those movies. Now, actors like Varney, Haim, and Nielsen are usually not given much in the way of regard but each is capable of a decent performance in a decent movie. We're not talking DeNiro or Kidman here, just actors capable of doing a decent job. Sadly, they get cast in utter crap like this. If you're a die-hard fan of these actors, it might be worth watching. If not, carefully put the video box down and back away slowly.


Domino (1988)
17 out of 18 people found the following review useful:
I have no idea what this movie was about, but Brigitte Nielsen sure looked good, 10 January 2003

The title kind of says it all. I have no idea what this movie is supposed to be about in any way, shape, or form. It's deliberately stylized and makes little to no sense. However, it does have Brigitte Nielsen at her most striking prime, taking her clothes off a lot for little or no reason. The woman has serious charisma and her acting inexperience is not a problem here because the movie doesn't make sense anyway! The European version is much better with far more nudity that's cut out of the American release. If you like how Ms. Nielsen looks it's worth watching. Just put music on or something so you aren't tempted to actually pay attention to what's going on in the movie.


Body Count (1995)
9 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Good cast, bad film, 10 January 2003

It's actually worth watching for the cheese. See Sonny Chiba slumming! See a 5'4" shrimpy actress beat-up 6'1" amazon Brigitte Nielsen! See the most exciting 3 mph trolley fight in cinematic history! See Brigitte Nielsen wearing boots, then heels, then boots again, then heels, then tennis shoes (nice job, continuity editor!) in the climactic battle where she gets squashed by the slowest lowering lift in history (remember the steam-roller in the first Austin Powers?)!

See 90 minutes of your life gone, never to return.


Galaxis (1995)
2 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
The first 10 minutes are good, 10 January 2003

They seem to have spent their whole budget on the not too badly done Sci-Fi battle at the beginning. After that, nothing but garbage. It looks filmed on a soundstage, the plot makes little sense, and the acting is pretty poor. As usual, Brigitte Nielsen looks pretty darned good and shows a fair bit of cleavage.

Aside from her and the first 10 minutes, it's a waste of film.


5 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
This movie is wretched, 10 January 2003

Let me give the pros first. Brigitte Nielsen looks really good in this film and actually acts capably. She is also killed off in about 10 minutes. There is an attractive actress at the beginning who gets naked and then killed stupidly.

That's it. There's nothing else to recommend about it.


Doomsdayer (2000)
4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Something to watch at 2:00 AM, 10 January 2003

Keeping it short, I've seen worse movies but I've also seen much better ones. It's kind of a by the numbers low-budget pseudo-Bond flick and would have been better livened up by giving it to Andy Sidaris and have him cast Julie Strain as the hero, at least there'd a hot amazon chick in there. Actually, Brigitte Nielsen and Julie Strain would be a pretty good match-up, both being over six foot tall and having an Amazonian charisma and beauty. Since that didn't happen, we get another low-rent Bond-clone. Maybe the lead would have been better in a better movie, having no rehearsal and only one to two takes often makes the cast in these films seem much worse actors than they actually are. If you can't sleep and it's on cable, it might keep you mildly entertained.


3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Has a couple of OK fights, 10 January 2003

But not much more than that. The cast is capable and the fights are OK but that's about it. I wonder if Ms. Nielsen's headaches in the film were actually from being in such a wasted movie. She and the rest of the cast deserve better than this film.


8 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Not too bad at all, 9 January 2003

I was rather suprised when I saw this movie, in all honesty. Many of Ms. Nielsen's movies are guilty pleasures, where one may simply enjoy watching her move about and the movie rarely lives up to her attributes. To be blunt, she's so far been at best a competent actress, but her sheer presence and beauty make even her worst films watchable. Hence, that's pretty much what I expected from this one, especially as it has never been released in the US.

I was suprised to find that it's a rather sweet little movie. It's not laugh out loud funny, and the few occasions where it tries to be (for the love of God, who thought up that horrible circus music when she's in the shower?!) it is kind of painful. It's redeemed by being a low-key, pleasant little film. One thing worth mentioning is how comfortable Ms. Nielsen seems as an actress here. She often seems to overact when really trying to project a strong emotion, something not helped, I think, by the fact that most of her films probably allow her 1-2 takes and then it's a wrap (gotta love low budget!). Here, she seems relaxed in her perfomance and it adds to the film. It makes me think that, had she not been effectively blackballed from Hollywood after divorcing Stallone, that she might have matured into a quite competent actress, and one with a rather unique charisma. An opportunity lost, I think.

It's worth watching. I do wish that Cinequan would release this on Reg1 DVD, as I had to get a Hong Kon VCD to finally see the film. Considering the crap that makes it to DVD, why hasn't this film had a shot?