Reviews written by registered user
t-g-orrell

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18 reviews in total 
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2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Just enjoy this crazy, f'd up ride, 18 October 2010
8/10

When an idea is thought up that is as messed up as The Human Centipede, the movie itself is almost secondary in nature. Is this a perfect movie? Nope, but irregardless, it is impossible to stop watching for the chance to see, to understand, to experience the idea of The Human Centipede and WTF will happen.

Do you have any idea how many people have "heard" about this movie? It was becoming a cult movie before anyone had even seen it! Some people thought it was a fake trailer, some people loved/hated it, and others were incredibly intrigued by it (as I was). People are talking about this movie in some way, good or bad.

I'm losing my focus a bit, but this movie, by all means, is nothing short of an experience. An event. It is very "tame" by horror standards, yet still holds a sickening grip to your attention. Will it hold up with repeated views, I don't know, but to experience The Human Centipede at least one, is a MUST. Relax and enjoy the F'd up story.

A good Vince Vaughn movie, a bad Xmas family movie, 30 August 2010
7/10

After reading good and bad reviews regarding this movie, I see now where the discrepancy lies. If this movie is reviewed on the merits of a classic, feel-good holiday flick, it is going to come up short. If it is viewed as a romantic comedy about a couple having to endure their displeasing family members for the sake of Christmas, I think it works well and is enjoyable. Vince Vaughn and to a lesser extent, Reese Witherspoon bring their usual charm to the movie. Vaughn's usual swagger is present and keeps the movie fresh and fun. Only in the last 20 minutes after some classic, romantic comedy soul-searching, is there some drag. As a romantic comedy goes, this is a movie you can sit down with your girl and it not become a painful experience. For that, it gets a good rating.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Why Zombie Why, 8 July 2010
3/10

I just want to first say that what pisses me off the most about this movie is after the first 10-15 minutes of Myer's murder-rich, beautiful terror, you find out it was just a dream. The opening is horror at it's best and I thought I was in for something special thinking: this is what Myers is all about, this is his definition! *But then, it's like Mr Zombie decided to say "I could do that, but I am not, just listen to his sister cry for the next hour and a half".

And then the story drags to a crawl. Sure there are a couple good Myers moments after that as his kills are brutal (the strip club being the one of the best), but 90% of the story after that startling beginning is about Lil Sis coping with her life after the first Halloween. She has crying fits, is in and out of counseling, and is anti-social. I understand WHY, but it still does not make it FUN.

Also, Sheri Moon, you are adorable, but that weird mother role did nothing to build-up Michael Myers, the icon.

What Zombie did was humanize a horror icon, giving him motives and reasons for him killing. Instead of a killing machine, he turned him into a wandering serial killer. No longer a monster, an icon. Rob Zombie, I am no longer a fan.

The Collector (2009/I)
57 out of 86 people found the following review useful:
Not Afraid To Be Horror, 8 July 2010
8/10

I've read reviews off and on that dog this movie. I wonder sometimes if the people that dislike this movie so much, dislike the horror genre. If I were to rate a musical, I would probably give it a low score myself.

This movie is not perfect, but because the horror in it is done well enough, it is worthwhile to suspend some disbelief to go along with the ride. This isn't a PG-13 teen scare. People tote the term "torture-porn" I think because the killing is done is such an unapologetic, organized fashion. Every kill is planned and gruesome. In the horror genre, what actually is wrong with that?

While Rob Zombie and others are destroying monsters (Zombie basically killed the icon of Michael Myers) by humanizing them too much, it is refreshing to have a new killer killing for killing-sake. Isn't that worth a ride (assuming you are into horror)?

Train (2008/I)
3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Pointless Blood N Guts, 8 July 2010
2/10

This movie was made solely to try to outdo Hostel. The blood and guts are in your face, which in context of a good horror movie, I don't mind, but this movie really has no soul.

A soccer (I think) team misses their first mode of transportation to their upcoming game due to a night of drinking and partying; Therefore they end up taking this train. That's about all the plot there is. The characters are fairly faceless and unmemorable.

The killings, however, are definitely harsh and memorable; And I think they were the only catalyst to create this movie. The writers had gruesome ideas for murder and tried to write a story to link them together. They tried to make a better "Hostel" but it comes off shallow because all the gore is just for the gore's sake and not for the sake of the actual story. This is a horror movie without a soul and therefore no feeling.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
How to cut yourself short with a brilliant idea., 21 June 2010
4/10

Take a brilliant idea, add in a "poor-me" story, and use that idea sparingly to get Youth In Revolt. I kept waiting for this movie to take off, but it cut itself short at every angle. Spoiler Alert(not really): every funny scene was already in the previews (more or less)! And don't get me wrong, they were funny by all means, but that momentum always stops immediately and goes back to poor Cera trying to cope and prosper in his less-than-stellar life. The impression the previews give you is that Cera develops this alter-persona and then has his influence the rest of the time; had they done this, this movie would have been a classic. Also, how do you have Zach Galifinakis NOT be funny? Another example of cutting yourself short.

21 (2008)
2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
An average Oceans 11 with highschoolers, 26 July 2009
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This movie was average. It got my interest overall but there were a few things that did not make sense. There was one scene where the "Ocean 11 highschoolers" were power walking in slow motion down the hall of their highschool yet their alliance was supposedly secret. The ending was also a bit cliché' as the main guy took down the main bad guy, I'm guessing he was murdered by the casino thugs although they just kind of swept that part under the rug. So he's a "hero" for getting his evil highschool teacher killed? Anyways, not too bad, not too good. By the way, does every Hollywood movie have to have love interests and do they always have to "get the girl"? Why?

Zombies + Strippers-no hidden elements, 26 July 2009
4/10

This movie includes Jenna after her anorexic, druggy, post extreme facial correction surgery phase which knocks it down a bit. (She used to be so attractive, why she'd mess it up is a shame) The story line is as creative as the title itself. If you like zombies and strippers, it definitely has both. I was expecting a more "tongue-in-check" story, but it's not that funny or creative. I enjoyed the gratuitous, bloody scenes throughout when the "zombie strippers" killed their victims, but other than those few scenes, the half naked strippers were the only thing to keep my interest. This is a "B" movie all the way, just not one of the good ones. Seeing Jenna bite off a "male-member" was a bit entertaining, just not quite as entertaining as what she usually does with them. ;)

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Fading attraction: Kristen vs Jason, 26 July 2009
6/10

This was a decent movie. Not nearly as good as I had hoped, but decent. The funniest part was just the shock of seeing full frontal male nudity! Yes, you see Jason Segel's junk several times. Kristen Bell is gorgeous in this movie as well as Mila Kunis. Jonah Hill (SuperBad, etc) is in this but is used sparingly. His attraction to the weird rocker (I don't know his name) is one of the funniest aspects of this movie. I'm not a fan of Jason Segel (don't like him in How I Met Your Mother) and this movie didn't really change my mind either. 6 stars is a generous rating from me. It's fairly generic in its approach and really nothing in it is surprising or really entertaining.

1 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Could've been worse, 26 July 2009
5/10

Usually these (insert genre) Movie movies don't appeal to me at all. However after seeing a couple clips of this, it actually looked kind of funny. And in the end it was kind of funny. Sure there were some unfunny, lowest-common-denominator humor, but some parts, Michael Cera's and Andy Milonakis's especially, were very funny. I also liked Matthew Lillard's "And Now You Know-esk" segments. There isn't much story to it, as a lot of it is individual "skits", but the main story is a boy who is trying to reveal his crush/love to a classmate of his. Most of the funniest parts come from the scenes that don't have anything to do with this and the longer musical number makes NO sense. Probably if they stuck to a structured story, the movie would've sucked a lot more. However it could've been a lot worse, and I expected worse.


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