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3 reviews in total 
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5 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Whaaaaaat?!, 9 March 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

WOW that was bad! What a totally disappointing movie.

Visuals = beautiful, although I didn't like how the actors were just pasted on to a CGI background.

3D = hardly even noticed it, seemed to disappear half way through the movie.

Acting = bland, boring, Johnny Depp was annoying and too much like every other slightly abnormal character he has played, hated Anne Hathaway's hand/arm movements, Mia Skjnadhjbdhvbdfsdjhbseiwocx had no range whatsoever and remained mildly confused/sad throughout the movie, but Helena Bohmen Carter did a good job.

Plot = ... what plot?! nothing happened, there was no purpose for anything, nothing was explained, and the ending was such a cop out!

However, I should note that the starting 10 minutes or so (before Alice falls down the rabbit hole) was actually quite entertaining!

I'm kinda peeved I paid $18 to see this movie. Definitely not worth it. Alice in Wonderland could have been so good!!! I can't believe they could fail so greatly and for so many different reasons.

83 out of 158 people found the following review useful:
I thought vampires were meant to be interesting?!, 20 November 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I read all four Twilight books a long time ago when they first came out - I liked the general idea but thought that the writing and plot was terrible, and after the whole Twilight hysteria I ended up HATING everything about it. However, I will admit I was quite excited when I heard they were making movies. So I went to see the first movie the day it came out. I was thoroughly disappointed but oh so entertained in a so-bad-its-good sense.

So when New Moon came out I rushed to go see it, anticipating a similar hilarious showing. And that it was! However, I was ALSO pleasantly surprised by some changes:

GOOD THINGS - Jacob Black. Not only was I totally mesmerized by everything below his neck (and spent the whole movie feeling like a pedo), I also thought his acting was pretty good. Taylor is a very likable and sweet person and he made Jacob go from being my least favorite character in the book, to my most favorite in the movie.

- The action. The few minutes of action scenes were actually quite good! The special effects were perfect and everything just worked. Much much MUCH better than the stupid ass effects used in the first film.

BAD THINGS - Kristen Stewart. My god this girl can't act for shizz! It's just... oh god.... it's just so bad. How does she get hired?!?! I feel so uncomfortable watching her. In comparison, the rest of the cast appear highly interesting and very competent. Go them!

- Boring. Some scenes were unnecessarily long and most of the characters severely lacked depth. They hold no interest and it is hard to pay attention. The scenes between Edward and Bella were the worst - they went on forever talking crap.

- The script. Who keeps hiring this screenwriter?! If she was actually talented she could take that awful book and turn it into something decent. But she's not, so all she does is create an even larger pile of crap.

Everything and everyone else does not even get a mention because they were all so mediocre (and not anger-inducing). I will say this: New Moon was not as bad as Twilight. I like this new director. Everything was relatively better. Relatively being the operative word here. Enjoy!

93 out of 193 people found the following review useful:
I went to see Transformers 2 and all I got was this gross disappointment., 30 June 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Transformers 2 is a full-blown attack on the senses. I left with a massive headache, sore eyes, ringing ears and a sense of disappointment I haven't felt since I finished the last Harry Potter book.

I never write reviews on but I just felt compelled to share with everyone what an epic fail I thought this movie was.

Forgive me if I miss some things as I have already forgotten most of it. Which makes me wonder... has Tranformers 2 caused my brain cells to shrivel up and die; or did I merely block that disturbing 4 billion hours from my memory. Anyhoo, let's carry on...

The movie starts and BAM! bad acting. Intense close-ups for some reason. Blah blah blah. Nothing of importance happens. Shia Lewhateverhisnameis goes to college. That's nice. Megan Fox looking sexy and oddly placed on motorbike. Even worse acting. Zero chemistry between Shia and Megan. Makes me cringe.

Shia's parents provide some sort of comic relief. Average acting, lame jokes and yet I can't help but appreciate the distraction from bad acting/non-existent plot. I almost laughed.

Oh okay, here are some robots now. Which ones are good again? Wait, were those robots in the other movie? So they're new. Okay, which ones are bad? Robots robots ROBOTS ROBOTS BOTORTAIJFHOADVFIUHBDFG.

Here comes army. Army guy from other movie is kinda cute. Who is that random army guy with strange accent?! He appears here and there but never does/says anything significant. Army angry about robots. President has some sort of opinion on the whole robot thing... can't remember what it is.

Hey everyone, let's go to the desert. Egypt that is. Oompa Loompa let's them into the country. No need to check your passports. Carry on. We are in desert now. Somehow contacting high ranking people in army. Hey look, it's Shia's parents. Awkward "sad" scene. Shia tells Dad and Mum to leave. Won't leave without him. Finally they leave. Shia tells Megan to leave. She says she won't leave without him. There is awkward pause. On to next scene! Oh... also robots and army fighting in desert. Destroying pyramids. Too much to handle. Megan Fox running. Boobs flailing. Perfect make-up. Always with her mouth open for some reason. Male friend enjoys her slow motion running.

After several hours robots stop fighting... someone seems to have won. Oh look, it's Optimus Prime. Didn't he die?! Aaaaaaaand cut.

I'm going to take some hard pain-killers and go to bed.