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Breaking Wind (2012)
Sucks more than any other movie...in a bad way!
I hate the Twilight movies so much that I thought a parody making fun of them would be enjoyable. I was so wrong and so disgusted that I had to watch it at 2x speed just to force my way through it, hoping it would get better. Like the Twilight movies, it only got worse.
The opening scene focused on some loser "breaking wind" and spouting the F-word a few times. (I hope that does not count as a spoiler.) This movie set an all time record for being the worst movie ever in less than 30 seconds.
Every joke (and I use the term loosely as I was anything but laughing) was about sex organs, sex toys, sex positions, and sex motions. Throw in a few F-words to pace the dialog and use other profanities to drive it home and you have the entire movie, wishing that the DVD kiosk had not offered to rent it to you for $0.50 off the regular price as a means of "sucking" you in.
The ONE joke I laughed at was a reference to the Sesame Street Count which was appropriate since I too was counting off the minutes wasted in SSC fashion.
I could not wait for this horrible and disgusting movie to end, and you will hate yourself for wasting even 40 minutes of your life at 2x speed. To drag it out another 10 minutes (which was pointless since 99% of the audience had already left), fake fan reactions were added to the credits, hence the additional F-words.
I gave it one star just to show I voted.
Not a bad movie, but pointless as a remake
I was a teen when the original movie came out, and I also live near Lehi, Utah where it was filmed which made me think fondly of the movie whenever I drove by the Lehi Roller Mills. (Today it is a sprawling metropolis, resembling little of the sleepy little town like in the movie.) When I heard another pointless remake was coming out, I decided to give it the Redbox treatment instead of completely boycotting it.
After watching it with my wife who had never seen the original, I was able to say, "Not so bad, but pointless as a remake." Most of the original music (which I still love) was recycled into something recognizable but not lovable. The scenes played out nearly identical to the original but with different actors. The whole way through it, I had the feeling that the director was watching the original on a hand-held device, then turned to the actors and said, "I have an idea for this next scene." If I recall correctly, even the dialog where it wasn't modernized with MP3 players (instead of cassette players) and cell phones (instead of...what the heck did we have?) was word for word.
Usually remakes are for big block busters where today's technology and special effects can outshine the feeble attempts of the past and make a great story better by sucking the audience in. This movie had none of that, and in summary, became another pointless Hollywood rehash for quick cash. The only improvement I could acknowledge was a sub-plot that explained Ren's actions a little better, but it was still not an excuse to remake a classic.
My advice: watch the original. It's much better.
I can't remember the plot, let alone their names
I grew up watching Fame on TV, catching a few episodes here and there. I am not big on remakes but I thought maybe it could be more modern and exciting 29 years later so I was willing to give it a chance. I was so wrong.
I rented the DVD for my wife who had seen neither the original nor the TV series. My next mistake was choosing the director's cut version, adding nearly 20 more boring minutes to our watch time. Halfway through I hit the 50% speedup option to get through the movie faster. It was still insufferably long. The only enjoyment we got was watching the clips in the end credits where the actors were finally able to show their talents. We also enjoyed the music video.
Spoilers: Too many main characters with nothing to do but show how 4 years of working your butt off really gets you nowhere, including a lack of any real growth. Most of the characters peter out, get taken for a ride, drop out, or find other ways to end the suffering.
I can usually relate to any movie and any character, but this time I just could not care about any of them. There seemed to be a lot of wasted talent, waiting for their next cut-scene.
There was almost one tense moment when one of the characters contemplated throwing himself in front of an approaching subway train. I was so bored by that point that I would have pushed him myself just for my chance to be next in line. At least that would have been dramatic or helped the audience feel something. Alas, the only thing I felt was regret. That is two hours of my life I won't be getting back. And another 30 minutes to warn people not to make the same mistake.