Reviews written by registered user
goriddle

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13 reviews in total 
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5 out of 14 people found the following review useful:
mst3k sucks and is not funny, 27 May 2004

Many commenters have failed to mention something that sets this movie apart from the other deathstalker sequels... namely, the lack of stock footage. To me nothing is more annoying in a fantasy movie than when the elements of fantasy are yanked from other movies that did a good job(For example, Almost every Fred Olen Ray movie you can get your hands on will have stolen footage of stop motion dinosaurs from a masterpiece called planet of the dinosaurs.) Deathstalker 2 and 4 are horrible about this problem. they feature minutes upon minutes of unmistakable battle scenes from the first deathstalker. Now I suppose part 3 isnt entirely innocent since it yanks the theme song from battle beyond the stars, but thats okay. Also, I would like to mention that people who see a cover of a deathstalker movie and are disappointed to find the movie is nothing like it are falling for the oldest trick in the exploitation book. Deathstalker 3 is by no means a classic. its a little bit boring and this time the guy playing deathstalker isn't as cool, but I give it much credit for not showing me scenes from the other movies in the series.

5 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
much better than the lord of the rings movies, 11 May 2004
10/10

Throne of Fire is quite an adventure. It is the story of siegfreid's quest against the son of the son of satan's seat on the throne of fire. The actor who plays siegfreid is very athletic and pulls of the sword fighting well. I enjoyed the entire film immensely, but I was unsure about one thing. When characters in the movie saw Morack with the melted face was it a vision of the future? or was it his true demon self? The well of madness scene was definitely among the highlights of the story. The talking severed head and armored warrior were very cool. the whole scene brought to mind the pit scene in army of darkness. Another highlight of the film is the princess. Movies of this kind rarely have leading ladies so lovely. If you love Throne of Fire, I recommend Lucio Fulci's Conquest. Very similar except with more gore and monsters.

20 out of 21 people found the following review useful:
favorite episodes, 22 February 2004

Mr. wizard is the best. The opening theme was funny how the statue of the thinker says "hmmmm? hmmmm? A-ha!"I remember those creepy twins that would come over sometimes for experiments. I loved the episode when he made Cocoa Puffs explode with a strange chemical. The one where they were making the computer talk was cool too because it said "hello mister weez-Ard". I invented an electronic musical instrument and named it after him- the DonHerbertron.

A Dino-Masterpiece, 13 February 2004
10/10

Dinosaur babes is a special effects laden adventure though a prehistoric land. The story is that the babes of one tribe have been kidnapped by a more advanced all female tribe. 3 cavemen quest to find the stolen babe and encounter not only dinosaurs, but also deformed cavemen who have been mutated by the pilots of a crash-landed UFO. The UFO seems like a bizarre plot twist, but it proves to be a key element in the end. This title is definitely appointment Video. Brett Piper Dazzles us once again with his phenomenal special effects. It is unfortunate that this movie never had a formal release it is gold. Do not mistake Dinosaur Island for Dinosaur Babes. Dinosaur Island is Pure crap and Fred Olen Ray sucks. Brett Piper RULES!!!

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Confusing at times, but very enjoyable, 12 February 2004
10/10

Blademaster is definitely a memorable entry in the Swords and Sorcery category of movies. I found Blademaster along with Quest for the Mighty Sword at a thrift shop attended by mentally handicapped people and was very happy to pay 2.00 each for them. Believable sets and costumes, good sword fighting and a beautiful female warrior, Mila make this an enjoyable watch. A few problems though, there were a lot of details in the plot that didn't quite fit, like the cave men for one. I didn't understand their purpose. Also, this movie could have really benefited from some more monsters. The snake was cool, but I guess it does borrow a little from Conan. However, any primitive sort of movie where someone winds up with a hanglider is OK by me (see Yor and Battle for Endor). I think Ator is cool! Oh, and was anyone else reminded of Gallager by the villain or is it just me? I give blademaster a 7/10

22 out of 25 people found the following review useful:
rating -6 not worth watching in the least, 17 January 2004
1/10

This entire video seems like one big long boring camcorder out take. Every joke is either stolen or incredibly lame. the costumes are unimaginative. the story is nonexistent. the special effects are crap. there is no action and the sets consist of a garage and a public park. the only redeeming quality is the wandering swordsman. these amateur/immature videographers have a lot to learn about medieval fantasy. lesson 1: throw away the stupid ape mask.

5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
great medieval monster movie!, 16 January 2004
8/10

This movie is action packed! Shortly into the beginning of the movie is a very tense battle scene. You get a great sense of the army of Seriphus being stuck between a rock and a hard place as they battle a fantastically frightening dragon on one side and are dowsed with fireballs and arrows by the army of Argos on the other. When the retreat, they find themselves face to face with the deadly Medusa! For a Sons of Hercules title this is a very respectable story. The monsters are great! Medusa appears as a one eyed serpent with tentacles and snakes for her hair and at the end of her tail. The dragon is a work of art. I believe he was used in another sons of hercules title and I somehow get the feeling that he is just one of those mini front end loaders hiding under a dragon suit. Dont get me wrong! whoever was driving it was a convincing actor. I definitely recommend this title to die hard fans of medieval fantasy and peplum movies. Also if you want an awesome deal on some hard to find Hercules movies, pick up the adventures of Hercules boxed set. Seven great Hercules movies (including this one) for a very low price.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
I give up on George Lucas, 17 February 2003

George Lucas said in 'From Star Wars to Jedi', "A special Effect without a story is a pretty boring thing.". At first I didn't quite understand this statement. So, George humored me by demonstrating this with the Phantom menace. One big long, boring (not to mention very cheezy) special effect. The true prequels to the Star Wars Trilogy are the two Ewoks movies and the Star Wars Holiday special. Oh, I also have another message for george: I curse you with a thousand fleas for not releasing the original Star Wars Trilogy in their original form on DVD. Those little added special effects are poop!

Ragewar (1984)
21 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
it's movies like this that got me through high school, 14 February 2003
8/10

This movie is vastly imaginative. So imaginative in fact that it took 7 directors to make it! The sets costumes and monsters all work well together to paint a fabulous picture of a computer warrior overcoming adversity through 7 different evil worlds. One of which is an evil heavy metal concert featuring the band W.A.S.P.This movie is filled with marvelous special effects including dueling magical dragons, a stone giant, disgusting undead warriors and a score of fantastic weapons originating from the computer wristband worn by the hero. A very action packed epic by a team of excellent directors including the legendery Charles Band!

8 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Very mysterious!!, 31 January 2003
10/10

This was an incredible film. The characters and costumes were very unique. Especially the elf. This is the most wonderful portrayal of an elf imaginable. The music and special effects added a very distinct mood to this movie. Very Artistic!


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