Reviews written by registered user

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20 reviews in total 
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4 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
The Buzz on the Buzz on Maggie., 18 February 2008

So a few years back, Disney Channel was doing pretty good. It featured a menagerie of shows that were popular with the younger crowd, tweens, teens, and even adults. Among these shows was the mega hit, Kim Possible, which rightfully gained a huge fan based, tons of merchandise (Still got my Rufus doll! ;)), and brought in the moolah for the monkeys in suits that run Disney.

So what was the only thing to do? Why, cancel Kim Possible and replace her with Lizzie Maguire in a fly suit! It made perfect sense! If you're a Disney Exec with the brains of an apple snail, that is.

Needless to say, fans were flabbergasted. "THIS?" They cried. "You ****heads cancel Kim Possible and THIS is what you give us in turn?" OK, I was the one who said it, but the feeling was pretty much the same throughout the KP fan base.

'The Buzz on the Maggie' was pretty much doomed. What could have been a cute concept was undermined by lousy characterization, irritating voices, unoriginal plots and a resentment toward it for replacing Kim.

The end of the story is well known: Head Monkey Eisner got the boot and so did 'The Buzz on Maggie.' The sixty-five episode rule that Eisner instated was tossed and Kim was picked up for another season. The Little Fly with the bug eyes and the purple hair was quickly forgotten as we crowded around our sets and waited for Kim to return.

Flies live for a week, so they say. Maggie got two seasons. She should consider herself lucky.

1 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
I came, I saw, I honestly didn't care for it..., 12 December 2006

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

A few months ago, I was involved in a debate with another IMDb poster (Hey, Kmadden) about this film. The poster insisted that if I gave 'Flushed Away' a chance, I would like it. Based partially on that argument, I agreed to watch the film.

'Flushed Away' has good intentions (At least on Aardman's part), but lacks the strength to pull it all together. Its best asset is sewer rat/boat captain, Rita (Played by Kate Winselt), who, IMO, should have been the movie's main character instead of Roddy (Hugh Jackman). Rita's cool, tough, and interesting, while Roddy spends much of his screen time sniveling.

One of the things that bothered me most about 'FA' is the repetition of jokes that aren't funny to begin with. When Roddy gets hit in the crouch, the film makes sure he gets hit five more times immediately. "My name's Shocky," says one of Rita's brothers, who then electrocutes Roddy at least three times. My tolerance for cheap gags that involve pain is at an all time low.

I won't waste time griping about Katzenberg's kleptomaniac tendencies toward Pixar (One similar film's a coincidence, five's a rip off.), but I will say I'm disappointed in Aardman. They can do (and have done) so much better. Try harder next time, guys.

9 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Never judge a barbarian by his cover..., 26 April 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Dave gets a lot of flack from viewers who I suspect haven't even watched the show. I too was wary, but seeing that Danny Cooksey was in the title role (Budnick forever, though "Salute your Shorts" may be rotting in Herb's vault somewhere), I felt obliged to tune in at least once. I'm very glad I did.

From afar, Dave may look bogus, but it's actually a smartly written show. A combination of Monty Python and the Holy Grail with Rocky and Bulliwinkle, with enough scatological humor to please Rocko and Angry Beavers fans, but not to the "throw up" extreme (As in, yuck!, Catdog), it takes constant jabs at "heroes" like He-Man and Conan. For example, in the Barbarian-Mitzvah episode, Dave's tester is a cloaked Skeletor-like figure who introduces himself as...Gloria (Did I mention, there's Family Guy-esq humor to spare, though it's considerably toned down.).

Dave's parents are out fighting all the evil in the world, and they take their job very causally, sending home souvenirs (which sometimes try to kill the kids,), instructing everyone to brush their teeth while chained to a wall, etc. Most shows would have the parents fighting a specific type of evil, which would probably ultimately doom the kingdom, but for Dave's parents, all the evil in the world is good enough.

My one problem is Candy, who assumes a Lizzie Maguire attitude throughout the show, which dooms her character to stereotype. But I'm being to wonder if she's truly that type of character or supposed to be a parody. At least she does some awesome martial arts.

Everybody loves Twinkle the Marvel Horse. A "cute" magical pony with a sick, twisted mind, it's not unusual for Twinkle to come out of nowhere in the middle of a show and start singing about rabid rats and other tortures. For this stroke of pure genius, the show's writers should be upheld.

In short, give this show a shot. If it was on Cartoon Network or Nick (Well, probably not Nick. Worthless piece of scumbag trash that network's become), it would probably be a classic by now. Like many great shows though (How many can YOU name?), it's doomed on the wrong channel.

4 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
If only..., 4 April 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Peter and the Wolf is a fine little gem, but seriously marred by Sterling Halloway's narration. I mean come on, do we really need him commenting on everyone's actions, begging Peter to, "Do something quick!" It's not only distracting, it takes away from the music as well.

Not that "Peter" is without hope. In fact, its finest moments are in the beginning when the characters are introduced with the music (To this day, "The Cat", known in this film as Sasha, is one of my favorite pieces.). Detail is meticulous; words are written in Russian when the average viewer wouldn't even notice, and watch the Wolf as he climbs up the tree and splinters wood everywhere.

But honestly, Sterling Halloway, fine as he is playing Winnie the Pooh, adds nothing. In fact, he lessens the impact of what's going on. It would have been much better to let the music tell the story and have the characters themselves move in pantomime. If only...

6 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Rock-a-Snoozle, 20 February 2005

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Why do I review (or even watch) Don Bluth films? They're so depressing. I haven't been happy with the man since The Land Before Time (Though I briefly smiled for Anastasia. If only it weren't for that darn Pooka...).

Our story begins in a book on a farm. Right away, The Farm is identified as the perfect place to be, although there's no farmer, no crops, and I don't recall seeing a barn. Everyone on this little farm has a job. Of course, Chantacleer's job (to bring up the sun) is the only job identified; everyone else just lays around or joins in when he randomly belts out a tune.

You can imagine how obnoxious this can be after awhile, what with all this random singing on the farm with no farmer. So obnoxious, the Grand Duke of Owls has decided to kill them. Normally, this would be bad, but after five minutes, it's pretty obvious that they'd probably be better off dead. So he gets Chantacleer kicked off the farm, causing the sun to down, and darkness to fall. Meanwhile, this Duke planning to eat all these 'cute' creatures. For this, he's bad guy? Sounds pretty noble to me.

Meanwhile, in the real world, it's raining. This is somehow connected to Chantacleer leaving in the story, but only Edmond, son of the missing farmer, knows this. Everyone else figures it's just a random flash flood (Oh how foolish. Don't all monsoons have to do with barnyard fowl?). So he goes to the window and starts to scream for Chantacleer at the top of his lungs. Who's the villain now, huh? Anyhow, he hits his head, gets turned into a cat, goes on an adventure in the city, finds the rooster (but not the farmer), and wakes up muttering, "You were there, and you were there, and you were there..."

There are several problems with what I refer to as the Beginning-of-the-End for Bluth. But I beefed an awful lot in my Thumbelina review, so I'll start off with the good: Some of the voices, particularly Eddie Deezen (Who later immortalized Mandark) and Phil Harris (Who deserved a better last bow than this.) are quite good. Unfortuantly, they're undermined by Edmond (More on this later.). Rock-a-Doodle does the thing Thumbelina never did: Make me laugh, and that's why it gets a two instead of a one. One scene. The kitchen with Hans and the Duke, where Uncle Dukie utters the line, "If I kill my nephew, will it be murder or charity?" The pint sized pipsqueak and her prince never even came close.

Now the bad. Edmond is completely unappealing. His speech impediment is merely distracting as first, but by the "We'll all dwown." speech, he's annoying as red ants up the butt. At times, you can't even understand him (I have mixed feelings on that.). Hiring a kid with a speech problem, just for the 'cute factor' is always a bad idea (Do you see Mara Wilson and her lisp on the cover of People? Dakota Fanning, on the other hand, talks clear as a bell, can actually act, and is worth ten times her weight in gold.), unless it makes sense to the script (such as in 'Paulie' where Paulie the Parrot helped the little girl with her stutter.).

Hans the nephew, 'The funny character', isn't. The movie practically forces him on us, and when it becomes obvious he's not working with the script, we are actually reminded that he's supposed to be funny ("He was more a hoot than he was dangerous." or something along those lines.). Never, never, NEVER tell who your funny character is. Let the audience find out for themselves. Or better yet, don't have a specific 'funny' man, but let everyone be humorous on their own in different ways (Such as Monsters Inc.).

I guess the worse part is, we don't care. If I don't care about at least one main character, or a character's motivations, or even what's going to happen to that character, then the movie's failed. Rock-a-doodle failed. I'm not sure it ever had a chance. And maybe that's why the farmer ran away.

5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
Beautiful and bitter memories..., 19 December 2003

I wrote in another review on this site about how I was born to a military family stationed in Germany, Land of No Cable (And the world's best chocolate, but that's another story.).

Anyway, one of the few kid's shows on TV that my grandparents didn't have to record and send over was Sesame Street, and the only one that was on the entire eight years we were there (Eureka's Castle was on for bit, but then one day it vanished. Same thing with Lampchops.). On my dad's side of the family, everyone had a Sesame Street character that they had a bond with (Dad's was Cookie Monster), and naturally, I followed the tradition by latching on to Ernie. Many a night I could be heard singing "Rubber Ducky" in the tub (I had two Rubber Duckies, but one got chucked because it got moldy, I think). To this day, I still hold Ernie dear to my heart (I even have a "Tickle Me Ernie", much, much cuter than "Tickle Me Elmo"!)

Not only did Sesame Street give me Ernie to love and make me laugh, but like everyone else who watched this show, it taught me to read and count. Then one day, this obnoxious bear showed up on Sesame Street, whining about Goldilocks stealing his porridge. I hoped he wouldn't be a permanent addition to the cast. Everyday, I'd turn on the set, and there he was, screeching in that high pitched voice of his. Soon, I stopped watching Sesame Street because I was so sick of Baby Bear. I was seven years old, and I had been watching Sesame Street for seven years.

Over the years, I did what all kids do, grew up. But about three years ago, I turned on Sesame Street again, and BABY BEAR IS STILL THERE!!! Not only that, some doofus gave Elmo a twenty minute segment, in which he spends most of those twenty minutes hopping around singing, "Dee dee da dee, Elmo's World!" over and over! And BABY BEAR IS STILL THERE!!! Horrible still, I hardly ever get to see my beloved Ernie and his Ol' Buddy Bert anymore. Worse of all, BABY BEAR IS STILL THERE!!!

So yes, Elmo may have ruined Sesame Street permanently (Unless God decides to raise Jim Henson from the dead), but for me, the death of Sesame Street came with the introduction of Baby Bear. So thanks a lot, you big throw rug! I hope the rest of the cast gets wise and turns you into a fur coat!

3 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
At last! A movie Lifetime hasn't screwed up!, 9 September 2003

It's no secret. Lifetime is a very sick network. Lifetime thinks we want to see movies about women who are raped or beaten or cheaten or stalked or have an affair. So when I first heard of "Defending Our Kids" I had mixed emotions. First, I was estatic to hear that Annie Potts (My all time favorite actress) was in a new movie. I had also heard of the real Julie Posey and was interested in seeing her story on TV. But I knew Lifetime has a habit of putting one or more of the above in their films. In fact, if it weren't for Annie Potts, I probably would have skipped out on this all together.

Luckily, Lifetime got a clue (at least with this movie) and skipped the sex scene. They also managed to conviently "forget" about Julie Posey being raped as a teen by a stranger. As with all Lifetime movies, the subject matter is adult and should be viewed by a parent before letting anyone under the age of twelve see it. Otherwise, I enjoyed it. Annie Potts is excellent (as always), and the other actors and actresses aren't bad either. I managed to stay interested throughout the entire thing and didn't change the channel once or feel embarassed.

Now pardon me whilst I avoid "Sex and the Single Mom."

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Not so good., 8 May 2003

Someone asked why Hubie wanted to get the pebble for Marina. Well, as the film explains before the feature, penguins really do give stones to their mate in the wild. This part I can understand. It's the same as a guy wanting to get the perfect ring to let his girl know he loves her.

But the film's still not that great. In fact, it's Jim Belushi (Coach Wittenburg from Hey Arnold) that makes the thing worth a tiny peek. The rest of the film falls flatter than a penguin on ice. Hopefully, this will be one my sisters never find. On the other hand, I'm probably not that lucky.

Thumbelina (1994)
7 out of 17 people found the following review useful:
Bleck., 8 May 2003

I can't tell you all the horrible things about this paper thin piece of poop, but I can point out the worst:

Thumbelina was WUSS! Not since Cinderella has there been a weaker female lead! Sure near the end, after she thought Cornelious was dead, she started to act like a real woman (Refusing to marry the mole, stomping on the frog's foot, ect.), but of course as soon as that stupid bird rescued her, she was back to her old self ("I almost married the mole!" She nasally whines. "Well, I don't LOVE the mole!").

And speaking of the bird, who makes Pepe LePew look politically correct...Gaucmole or whatever his name is. Boy was he grating. And even worse, he OPENED the film! Yikes!

All the little tiny bugs who were so darn "cute" it was sickening. I wish there had been a giant can of Raid. In the words of Plato, "It's too cute! Need hatred..." Oh wait. Maybe that was Plankton. Never mind.

As others have said, the songs are terrible. Let's see, we've the bird singing the opening song, not once but TWICE, a big "A Whole New World" rip off, a singing toad quartet that goes so fast that you need to put it on closed captioning to understand, and that's just for starters.

Well, the bell's going to ring. I better sign off with this warning: You love sickly sweet Disney films where the heroine has no brains, you'll probably love this. But, if you want to see a film where girls kick butt and can take care of themselves, steer clear.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
As bad as it looks., 23 April 2003

Incredibly bad movie about a numbskull mailman (It's David Arquette! Of course he's not going to be Einstein!) who has to look after his neighbor's kid, and then finds himself also taking care of a big slobbering mutt targeted by mobsters.

Almost as bad (if not worse) than this year's Kangaroo, Jack. Will mostly likely appeal to young pre-teen boys between nine and eleven who have generously donated the left half of their brain to science.

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