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The zombie apocalypse is underway. Mac(stoner Rogen) and Teddy(charming
Zac) have captured one of them, and it's time to deal with him. But do
they have what it takes? This was made as an advertisement for Fear the
Walking Dead. I should right off the bat note, I haven't watched an
episode of the show, or the one it's spun off from, nor do I intend to.
Let's be honest, it's a ridiculously over-saturated market. This runs a
minute and a half, and is mostly the two talking about killing the zed.
Jokes come from their history and clashing personalities. This is far from the best material the duo have performed, but it's not the worst, either. The writing is pretty obvious. It has a distinct "thrown together in a hurry" feeling. To be fair, the production values leave little to be desired. The second film doesn't even come up, and there wasn't much room for it to in the skit's current form. Although with Kelly conspicuously missing, they probably didn't want that darn XX chromosome intruding. Hey, they barely knew what to do with them in either movie.
There is disturbing content and brief gory violence in this. I recommend it to fans of the series. It helps that it's free of charge, and, currently, you don't even have to leave this site to check it out. 7/10
A Dirty Dozen consisting of Metahumans is sent into a city to deal with
something requiring their abilities can they be trusted? Gritty,
offensive, authentic... as a huge fan of all things David Ayer, this is
most definitely one of his films. A very diluted one, however. He
brings some of his own weaknesses, and he's hampered by his first
directorial PG-13, that he pushes like Sisyphus would, fitting into a
franchise that hasn't much resembled his style before now, *and* the
re-shoots and haphazard editing of a number of executives screaming
about how their, rather expensive, properties keep failing in spite of
seemingly built-in promises of profit. It's amazing it's not a complete
mess. Then again, some say it is. The single biggest problem is that
for all the great action and distinct personality, it doesn't fully
There are quite a few questionable decisions, in particular on visual design. Dancing fire figures, grills in place of scarring, a villain similar to Thor's Destroyer, the list goes on. In spite of practical FX being the go-to, there ends up being too much CGI. The animal and Aussie might as well have been written out all anyone would say is "they were in the comic, though". When this tries for drama, we often get sap. The pacing and flow are all over the place, with flashbacks strewn about as if someone dropped a box of them on the floor.
There is a ton of material that is very disturbing, violent and/or painted-over-gory in this. I recommend this to any fan of the DCEU(both of you), the source material, and, of course, those trailers... no, really, they did fit nearly every single one of those songs in there. For better or for worse. 5/10
This is the only extra on the regular DVD of Fury, well, my library's
copy anyway, going into that movie. Why don't I own it, myself? Because
this is hardly a picture that one can watch repeatedly. It simply takes
too much of a toll on you, on a very deep, significant level. So of
course, this featurette goes into how they got all the way there.
It is made up of interviews, sit-down, between takes and such, with crew, actors and vets, all getting a good amount of time, each with something interesting to say, footage, both stock from the real events and behind the scenes, and film clips.
This goes into the authenticity and what they went through to get there, to understand the reality. The cast ended up asking further questions to reach that. We aren't given many of the answers, or what was said at all. Merely that the exchanges took place. They became a family. We learn a lot about the training, both the one week and the on-going to keep in shape, in more ways than one. This does dip into being the unfettered love-fest typical for this sort of thing, but not only of the big names.
This is 10 and a half minutes in running time. There are almost no credits. It shows and tells almost nothing of the worst in detail, which does keep the rating low. Presumably to allow it to air on TV, and such. The feature pushes a hard R, so the DVD isn't exactly going to avoid offensive material. 7/10
Jason(Damon, great as ever) comes back out of hiding to learn something
about his past. Yup, business as usual. The CIA is hacked. But that's
not important right now. Nicky(Stiles, as usual professional without
being cold) is brought back just long enough to get screwed over.
Privacy when using apps is given lip service. And at no point does this
give any reason for its own existence.
This is what I had expected. The action was pushed as far as it could go by the end of the trilogy, so this goes slightly further, and ends up no longer quite realistic. Some of the worst parts of the trailers are nowhere to be seen, though. Entire lines and setups don't exist in the film itself. Bourne no longer feels like he has a plan, like he's being smart about how he approaches things. He survives things he shouldn't a la A Good Day to Die Hard, by dumb luck. The shaky-cam varies, too much or perfectly fine. It's clear Greengrass cared, and was happy to be back. This goes into action clichés the series had skillfully avoided before. The retired hero is brought back for one last job. He does it only for the sake of his family. His father suddenly matters, and you'll hate where they go with that. This gives us all we expect, and very early, at that.
The violence pushes the envelope, as is the style today, and wasn't when we last saw Matt in these. Body-count alone is ridiculous, especially considering who gives the kill orders. I recommend this only to those who value the protagonist's abilities over how his character is treated. 5/10
You are the top hit-man for the Zilla Corporation. Demons start
invading Earth. It is up to you to retrieve the powerful Nobitsura
Kage, a sword. Barely anything happens. There's almost no real plot
here. There is backstory, and it is revealed almost entirely in
exposition dumps. However, it is actually interesting. It involves half
a dozen Ancients, including the ruler of the Shadow Realm where this
starts, and the hordes are coming from. You know what happened almost
right from the start. As you learn more, you come to understand why
everyone did what they specifically did, and what it was like for them.
And this has an ending, closure. There are elements that are clearly
just setup for the next one. Which is happening, since this did well.
Because if not, we wouldn't. But they don't take over here, and
everything that matters is gone into. It could be less confusing, more
engaging, less self-indulgent and told more fluidly. Cutscenes are
in-engine POV and simple yet vivid animation of ancient scrolls. You
are Lo Wang(Liebrecht, arrogant) and you're unwillingly partnered with
Hoji(Dobrenko, eager). Both speak sarcasm fluently, and refuse to shut
up. That gets old almost immediately. The latter was banished, with no
memory of why. You need a guide, he can't interact with anything on
this world. Not many are named, and you don't really wish there were
This took me 12 and a half hours. I experienced essentially all the content in minutes. It's repetitive and shallow. And also incredibly enjoyable. You will, as I did, spend almost all of this time using your katana to chop individual limbs off. They may live, and come at you, even crawling, zombie-style! You can thus take away their dominant hand, and thus their weapon and/or shield. This is tremendously easy and you can sleepwalk through it. Point in the right direction and click Attack a lot. You are hardly ever forced to use anything else. The rest of your arsenal is fine. Akimbo SMGs. Multi-barrel shotgun. Remote detonation sticky charge crossbow. Fire-bombing flamethrower. Laser pointer guided rocket launcher. That these are not as fun as they sound is an area where this fails.
Another reason you stay close-range in this is the Powers. Hold up Defense. Trap a handful of them. Shockwave. Heal at will. Actually, there are a lot of options for that kind of thing. Send out an arc of energy. Got a problem? Take a Stab at it. To unlock and upgrade those requires points, and this hands those out to you like candy. Well, outside of the Money for the weapons. Don't waste those. You might think you can't, going by the other two. It does kill the pace to deal with these, when, really, it could have just given you a quick multiple choice thing at those times. Yes, tapping a direction and then clicking and/or holding and releasing either mouse 1 or 2 can be awkward, and some find it straining on the wrists. I can't say: the damage is done, I've had mild carpal tunnel for years, and so never play for very long in one sitting.
This is visually impressive. While the graphics vary, they're never less than great, and can be excellent. This has beautiful sights, such as the breathtaking vistas. All designs are varied. Yes, the enemies largely use melee against you, and are almost exclusively humanoid. Still, they all look distinctly differently. Some partially glow green. Orange or yellow that burns. Not grey, bland or forgettable. Some can block, teleport, turn invisible, take you on from range, even fly. Rarely are you forced to sheathe your tool. Sometimes at glitches that prevent them from closing in on you. There are a few humans, shooting or fencing.
Tasks are straight-forward, and, as all else interactive in this, lack variety. Key-hunt and press buttons to turn bridges, raise and/or lower cranes, activate elevators, etc. Physics are at times slow to respond, with a fraction of a second of a delay. That's sadly enough to take us out of it. There are a handful of minor jumping puzzles, and nothing else of that type. This is enormously smooth. You can toss infinite Shurikens. They're not that effective. I mean, they do almost nothing to hurt. And they auto-aim, ricochet and the like. So they don't go straight when you want to use them like that, for setting off explosive environment hazards. Anything that looks like it could go off... vehicle, obviously gas tanks, etc. They use up Stamina. Almost nothing else does. Really, only Sprint, or for shorter and not merely Forward, Dash. Those are very useful. Keep away from danger. That includes facing the huge, 100s of metres tall boss fights. Those do get bogged down in tedium and grinding, as mini ones do, as well.
This isn't going to get you to come back. You can get and do almost anything you want on just one playthrough. It does help that there are 4 difficulty settings, with one additional you get upon completion. There's also a New Game + mode where you get to keep all you earned. And what you were just given for participating. You can save anytime, except for maybe right in the thick of it. Just get a few seconds between you and the dozens of them that you will often face down. There are cute nods to its source with textures and audio for the at times ill-hidden secrets. Arcade machines with titles by the developers or publishers. Levels are too open, leading to annoying backtracking, finding lots of dead ends. Good thing the door you need to take will always very clearly glow. You only have an issue whenever you can't see that, or it isn't about finding and going through it.
Constant violence: present. I recommend this to any fan of FPS'. 90's ones as well as modern ones that are throwbacks to those. 6/10
London. Yup, with accents, slang and currency. A Biotech corporation
conducts experiments that deform, mutate, and monsterfy people. They
start spreading, and the gov't assembles any cop and such into a series
of small teams to try to solve the issue. It's no secret why you're
here. So they frontload that. This has over 33 weapons(not counting the
pay-to-win DLC, which I have not purchased). The fire ones are
obscenely enjoyable. You won't believe how far you can throw that
flame. Bodies charring and coming apart. Regardless of what type you
prefer, this has several for that one, including some of the most
beloved, and they're all worth using. SCARMK17, HSG-1, M99 AMR, M32,
etc. The Doom inspiration is clearly evident, and the only area this
doesn't live up to it is in how bland and basic the enemy design is.
They can hurt ya real bad, they look largely human, size difference is
negligible and most can't even hit you from far away.
The obvious rival here is Left 4 Dead 2. I've already covered the creatures. Its chainsaw is more fun and "seems" less loud. The gibbing and melee is more satisfying. There's a sense of getting to where you're going, doing something to save someone. The dynamic pacing. Greater production values. Then, this is more tactical. More options, if only by a little, of what to carry and use. Sharing is required. This is tougher. Contagion-style welding, while far from the heights that reaches in spite of this being where it originates, can be vital here. It and healing can be done quickly and then it'll recharge. You can go back and forth, keeping subjects at a high rating. Heck, there are SMGs and ARs with darts to fix up your allies. Carry 3 at a time, and you can use each in quick succession. Zeds that face a door they can't open will tend to go elsewhere, meaning you're not slowing them down as much as redirecting them.
Earning money is how you better your arsenal. Unfortunately, that becomes a Catch-22. With what you start out, you can't take out that many, and thus don't make that much. Though the idea is that everyone shares, it often just doesn't work out like that. Why not automatically do that? Maybe you should open up with at least a little better stuff. Or give more ways to collect dosh. The modding community completely embraced this. There are 1.852 separate items as I type this. Personally, I had problems. I intended to do all maps first, and didn't realize the 50 subscription limit... since it does not tell you about it, I learned about it from the Steam boards. I got to try 92 of the 855, and then wasn't able to get anything new, left with just those. Joining someone with anything you don't have means it'll try to download, without telling you how much there is in total.
You will have to defeat the boss, The Patriarch. He's cybernetically enhanced with a M134 on one arm, and has... altered himself. He can turn invisible, and if not burning, can quickly get close or far away. Not a nice person, this one. To even reach him, you will have to get through the waves. 4, 7, 10, or a custom amount. On average, half an hour. Think Counter-Strike. A series of TDM sessions, that's this in a nutshell. You can always tell how many are left to take out. It gets to be 180 or so! Between these you visit the trader's, who then moves, preventing camping which I honestly didn't experience often in general. You can resell at a good rate, refill ammo, get body armor. And yes, this does raise questions. How are you getting cash? Implicitly looting bodies? What does she need it for? Why not hand out the arms for free?
This comes with more than the one mode. Objective is like an action-adventure. You find keys, locate goals, etc. There's actually kind of plot during this. You're in the specific area, there's a single character who communicates with you. Usually, he's looking for your help, and he'll guide you around, getting you to finish things he started and couldn't. The idea is that you have different tasks, split up, cover each other, etc. There's Gun Game, where you for every kill get the next, yeah. Starting with the pistols. And once you reach the top one, you've won. And since they're not equally easy to make things dead with, it changes how you go about it. Very addictive. It's also the only way to have AI allies, since otherwise, offline solo play is, well, just that. Only you. All by yourself.
The 6 of you will have 7 Perks to choose from. Each player takes on the responsibility of theirs, and you will have to eliminate one of them. They cover the different ways to play this well. Rising through the levels will require grinding. Do a certain action 30 times. Then 100. This will make some quit. I know it's because there are less than 10 to climb. RPGs tend to fare better when it's a gradual thing. And when you get things along the way. You don't "get anything" here. It refines the skills associated, that's all. Releasing a polished UT2K04 mod 2 years after Unreal Engine 3 came out meant this would immediately be dated. Saving on the licensing fee is all well and good, but graphics do matter to a lot, including the target audience of this. The sound effects can be pretty meh. If you find this gets repetitive, that is not going to change. It can seem to lack variety. Not for everyone. There are quite a few servers, and with filters, you'll have an easy time zeroing in on one.
There is constant brutal, gory violence in this. I recommend this to any fan of the classic id Software titles. 6/10
The year is 2435. Not Earth. The planet Hillys. The peaceful population
is under sustained attack by the alien Domz. Forcefields help, although
only if you can pay your bill on time. The Alpha Section troops are
always showing up too late. The media claim otherwise, asking the
pertinent question: what do you do when faced with authorities who let
awful things happen, when reporters refuse to spread that fact, and
physical harm coming to you and your loved ones? There is a conspiracy
going on, and you have to uncover it. As a photographer, you will
document it. You're not Rambo, setting explosives and destroying entire
bases. You're Jade(Forrest, determined). And you'll be sneaking in,
snapping shots, and let the people know what's going on. Admittedly,
the more you understand what's going on, the less sense it makes, and
the ending is a clichéd, twist-laden mess. Still, there is some good
drama there. This does realize that kids can handle that, and scary
material, as well. Some will find it too child-friendly. It helps that
there's so much substance here.
You almost always work with a companion. Cooperation and friendship are among the values this promotes. You can go places they can't and vice versa. The reasonable puzzles require you to work together you won't get far without utilizing each others considerable talents. I do wish that there wasn't a pause between you telling them to help and them doing so. It can mess up the timing, when, really, this is something that could have easily been avoided. In addition, you gain the ability to throw discs great distances, and this can be used as an attack whether your presence is known or not, and activate those of the countless switches that are far off. You'll take pictures of all animal life. Including, if you have nerves of steel, those about to smack you with something. Every species once, and you'll be paid well. The rarer, the better. As long as they're of high quality: not too far away, etc. And it does aid you in ensuring that, telling you exactly what failed, and giving an indicator of when it's right, and when it's not, what's wrong about it. This includes the humanoid ones that you live among. You're encouraged to recognize that they look, sound and sometimes behave different from you, yet also that they're helpful, competent and, like you, they belong.
This mixes different types of addictive action-adventure gameplay well, each is fun, well-done, gradually increases in challenge and appropriate in amount. Don't get me wrong, the difficulty can be uneven, and spikes at bosses. The climax will seem impossible until you get the hang of it. While the accessible nature of this, and its easy-to-learn controls, do sometimes lead it to feel too simple, they make great use of all of these elements to keep throwing different situations at you that you can maneuver via your skills and tools. The minigames and racing can be annoying, yes. They can also be ignored, provided you do well enough elsewhere. The latter especially feels right out of a licensed title, much like the terrible third person camera. Ironically, when it locks your view and forces you to adapt the directional keys since they change with it, it's at its best. When you have to turn it yourself, it will try your patience. The platforming has you climbing and jumping ledges.
The stealth is line-of-sight based. You're waiting for soldiers to turn and/or move away, so you can pass unseen, behind them, blocking their view with crates on conveyor belts and the like. Them spotting you first due to poor design choices are the only real problem with this aspect. It's tremendously satisfying to clear an area, to finally be able to defeat the guards by breaking their air supply sending this previously very real threat pathetically floating off, etc. The only settings being factories and caves, particularly the former, do end up a tad boring. Some of these culminate in you running away, avoiding the dangers behind you, very thrilling.
Combat has been called the weakest element, pointing to how light it is. Hardly. I find the unreliable dodge function to be its biggest fault... not sending you in the right distance, direction, sometimes not launching you at all. It's a minimal version of that of Prince of Persia: Sands of Time, based on the same engine. You'll be somersaulting between foes that are a bit apart from each other and you, can easily switch which one you're facing and hitting, and you have a radial charge. This is also where you not being alone, in this singleplayer piece, comes in very handy. With help, you can instakill, even using evil robots to disable electrical barriers in your path.
Your hovercraft will take you almost anywhere you can go in this, and when you've earned it, your interstellar spaceship will close that last gap. Fire at anything in front of you, either rapidly at the center of the screen, or hold down to automatically target. It does allow friendly fire, for some reason. And it tends to go for things that aren't close before the ones that are, which makes regenerating mine fields, further worsened by the seafaring vessels bouncy nature, an irritant. This can seem too open, given that the map does not list major areas of interest. You have to online for that, which shouldn't be necessary. Unfortunately you can't play on after completion, which would have fit the otherwise partial similarity to Grand Theft Auto, and given it replay value. Honestly, I do think I'll return to this. It took me 11 and a half hours, and I did not go for every collectible.
There is mild violence in this. I recommend it to any fan of the genres it covers, young and old alike. It will make you think, care, and it did not deserve to bomb. 6/10
The ancient Apocalypse returns and wants to destroy the world. For
companions, he recruits those of the emo teens who don't already go to
the School for the Gifted and provide annoying angsty melodrama. Bryan
Singer recreates some of his most beloved moments from the series with
less effort, and sticks in bits he was previously forced to cut. Like
X3 and First Class(which happened 20 years ago. Ignore that no one
looks to have aged by anywhere near that much), the main threat and the
team are two separate plot lines fighting for attention. Then they
smash together at the end.
Some claim this has a lot of action. Not at all. There's almost none, outside of the climax, which isn't that impressive, or memorable, in spite of what the director has done in the past. Civil War does, you could watch that again. But there we do have Roland Emmerich style destruction, which this is oddly callous towards. We're going backwards. Young versions of characters, most of which were already wasted. At least give us new ones. Or do them well. Comic relief is hit and miss.
There is a ton of death, with blood and brutal gore on corpses, and a little strong language in this. I recommend this to anyone needing reminding just how wildly the quality of this film franchise fluctuates. 5/10
New neighbors, gender-swap, bigger stakes, less characterization.
Someone took the script for the first one, went Search and Replace, set
to bold every gag, deleted the riffing, added feminism which it
occasionally forgets its position on albeit it remains a vocal
advocate, and this is what we got. Far funnier and more consistently
hilarious. Not as good of a film, but that was never the goal with
these two...soon to be three...? This makes a call that greatly
benefits it: the setting is simply no longer the real world.
Consequences are a thing of the past. Bones don't break, cops don't
show, and so on. This allows them to be as crazy as the trailers
suggest, in spite of about half of the footage in there not being in
the final cut.
The girls get to dish it out, now even more so. Stupidity has grown rapidly. Teddy(Ephron, who remains one of the best parts) is in the middle. You know how he was pretty psychopathic before? Well, this time, he has the full meltdown. It practically opens the film. He just wants to be valued! And he totally knows stuff! Not much, but some, and it's remarkably specific! This does suffer from the writers, all 5 of them, clearly not quite knowing, well, women. Why they didn't have them grab a pen... well, there's that sexism again. Thus, there's a lot of stereotyping going on there, and not a lot of depth. The climax is genuinely a fizzling out. Resolution is forced, albeit it is at least there...that's one of the first things this admits.
There is constant strong language, some sexuality, and a little violence in this. I recommend this to anyone who enjoys raunchy comedies. 7/10
Engineer Isaac Clarke(yes, named after the two amazing authors) and his
small crew respond to its SOS, and get stranded on a large, abandoned
mining ship, the Ishimura. A planet-cracker. It's mostly broken.
Warranty's out, so it's up to you to fix it. Along the way, you piece
together what on ...well, not Earth, happened. And your girlfriend was
stationed there! Will she be in a refrigerator by the time you find
her? Is the story ever going to get interesting or surprise you? And
did EA forget who they were when they made this? No bugs, new IP,
taking risks... I guess there really is a first time for everything.
Wearing its inspirations on its sleeve, this also manages to add to them. If you had told me this took Event Horizon's floating orb, jumped mediums, and made it several times bigger, *then* had you *walk on its surface*, I could have told you that would make it infinitely more compelling. The attention to detail and scope are breathtaking. Watching an intricate machine so vast it could crush you and not pause for a second run from what is clearly an unsafe distance because it's the only way to proceed never fails to send a chill down your spine. In spite of samey corridors, areas in this tend to have deeply memorable, even creative, level design. They look distinct and each have a theme their own. The medical section with its OR full of failed attempts to save those attacked. Engineering with a huge centrifuge you have to activate then avoid being smooshed by... of course. Cargo with sharp, mechanical designs.
Unfortunately that's about it for the positives, and in spite of their value, it is often obscured by the rest. The single most important aspect must always be gameplay. Because if you took that one element away, it's not a VG. And this fails in that aspect, on account of a series of misguided, albeit clearly well-meaning decisions. The developers studied horror films and went out of their way to recreate what works. But it's so action-driven, more gory than terrifying, it feels not unlike watching The Thing by fast-forwarding through anything that doesn't have violence. There's no contrasting, no soothing periods inbetween. It's all at cranked volume. It's almost exclusively jump-scares. Where they come out gets to be predictable.
The way you move, and orient yourself, are the most immediate way you interact with the world, including one built from the ground up. And that's where they made their biggest mistake. The controls are awkward and never get to feel like second nature. And this is probably the worst TPP angle I've encountered. He takes up half the screen. At best, it's a struggle. When you're swarmed by creatures, trying to find your way, and/or unsure of what to do to proceed, it's more than enough to talk you out of sticking with this. I would never have gotten far in this if not for my stubborn refusal to give up on these.
Enemies are all Necromorphs. Reanimated human corpses. Forget targeting the body. They can take a ton of punishment there. You have to cut them apart. One limb at a time. And even when you do that, some will simply split off into smaller beings. There's tremendous variety in size, movement, speed, how they assault you, etc. If this didn't end up as one of the gimmicks, if it didn't end up rote, and especially if fending them all off didn't get frustrating and boring, this would be an amazing aspect.
The weapons are rather unique and, as a nice touch: they're improvised from mining tools. Energy, "cutting", sawing. But some are not that useful, such as due to being good for pumping lead into what you point it at, which, as stated before, does not get you very far. Others are overpowered, and are part of why the difficulty in this jumps back and forth between too easy and more irritating than, technically speaking, challenging. The melee is stilted and rarely useful. Except for when you're forced to mash Use, taking you completely out of it, culminating in it smashing what was trying to tear through you. You end up watching as if someone else, waiting for it to let you continue. This is true of a lot of deaths, as well. This, along with the prevalence of "go to the tram", breaks how this "doesn't pause".
There is no traditional HUD in this. It's all holographic projections, and displays on the back of your suit. It goes a long way in making you forget this isn't real life. But then it takes a full second to check things. The 3D map is a mess on account of handling long hallways, elevator shafts and the like, "to scale". It baffles me that they did this. Certain things have no hotkey. And you'll sound like you're dying long before that is the case. TK leads to several cool, fun actions. It and the Stasis letting you slow down objects are wasted on basic and repetitive puzzles.
Zero Gravity is used well. In these portions, you can walk on, as well as jump to and from, nearly any surface that isn't outright dangerous to step on. Some rooms have you going completely from right side up, through up the side, to on the ceiling. And this all happens in complete, limitless silence. Except for your mandatory humming of The Blue Danube. The camera being slow and reluctant to "follow", correct for your new angle, mars this. Why it doesn't indicate it, I don't know. Aliens Versus Predator 2 does, and is over half a decade prior to this.
There is a lot of disturbing content and some strong language in this in this. I recommend this only to the very forgiving, who find the mix of these elements otherwise largely not original, that have been done better elsewhere. 4/10
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