Reviews written by registered user

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11 reviews in total 
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Girl's Best Friend (2008) (TV)
21 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
Witty 'girl has boy and doubts' road trip movie!, 8 April 2009

So yeah, once you've seen the first scenes, you know how this story is going to end. It's the same old love story being told over and over again... Or is it? Somehow I found this movie actually believable, in contradiction with some of the other well-known romantic flicks. Most likely this has a lot to do with the roll Janeane Garofalo is playing. She is the little neurotic music recensent Mary, who has a low self esteem-problem and who goes on a road trip. Without playing the cliché beauty 'that is so beautiful but just can't find the right guy', she puts down a realistic cynical little crazy woman and this is what makes the movie believable. The witty lines and some seemingly meaningless happenings made me often laugh out loud and curious all the time about what was going to happen next. Though I am a guy and Mary is a girl, I could really identify with her and her problems, which I know many guys have.

This is not a 'girl meets boy' movie, it's a 'girl has boy and doubts' movie mixed up with a road trip movie and a lot of witty humor. Somehow I think this movie is a great one for Gilmore Girl- fans, please correct me if i'm wrong!

11 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Watch this on television for the commercials., 4 April 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'm not often writing reviews for IMDb, but since this movie is so high rated, I feel it's my duty to write something down as well.

This movie is the kind of thing you should see on television, interrupted by commercials, zapping to MTV and Jerry springer, or toilet breaks. As long as you're not trying to follow a story, this movie might be alright. But if you want to follow a story, just skip this one.

Don't get me wrong, it's not a 'terrible' movie, but it is 'terrible mediocre'. It's predictable, cheesy, shallow and amateuristic. The conversations feel unnatural and a lot of the made decisions are illogical. It annoys me when a group of people rather keeps screaming at each other than look for a constructive solution. It annoys me when somebody takes a tinkle right where an alien was blown up, while it is not sure at all whether the alien has died. It annoys me when his friends keep telling him how displeased they are with this stupid action, without looking out for the alien. It annoys me when a group of people decides to kill the alien and then don't kill the alien, but run away for his cripple, burnt remains. It annoys me when a girl shows her breasts and the camera moves up, if you're not going to show her breasts, then why would you put this in the script?

I think people should make movies out of creativity, not to just keep the industry working. I would give this thing 4 point, but since it has such high ratings, I give it a 1. Just for balance.

8 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
Really?, 26 October 2012

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I don't want to sound harsh or cruel, but let's all be honest: The kid should have exploded.

Don't forget we are dealing here with a superior bloodthirsty alien race that thinks of people as tools. Not only can this race of bad scum mother lovers create a disease that can wipe out thousands of people without even giving them the time to make a simple call, they also have the technology to attach a time-bomb, with the power of a nuclear explosion, to somebodies heart. A bomb that will explode when tried to get rid off through the stargate or when a certain time has been reached. Also, taking the bomb out of the hostess will kill her. Sounds like those alien butt wipes really know how to make a bomb, right?

But then after almost half an hour of tear jerking emo-TV the bomb doesn't go off, because... When it's getting away from the Stargate the bomb simply dissolves itself. Really? Really really? So it's okay to kill off thousands of unknown people, but a little girl with a bomb attached to her heart created by a bunch of technically superior aliens can not die because she has a name... Is that alien race even for real?

Now tell me, after seeing this episode, how can anything in this series ever be gripping or thrilling again, knowing the makers will ALWAYS take the save and predictable path?

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
A dream, 24 March 2009

This is actually one of the strangest and most bizarre movies i've ever seen. A horrorstory woven into a dream, made of short arty scenes and a fantastic soundtrack made by David J (Bauhaus) and Ego Plum.

I don't know a movie to compare this with, thought it reminded me of some movies. The movies that came to my mind were 'the naked breakfast'(because of the surrealism) and pink Floyd - the Wall (because of the music-picture combination). If you like arty films, this movie will blow your mind. But if you're just looking for a nasty horrorslasher, look further, you won't find it in this movie.

Don't expect a predictable story, expect a dream from which you can't wake up till the end of the movie.

What spoilers?, 18 June 2017

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

So, I was bored and started watching this snooze fest, then someone said it really was going to get better and then I was curious if it managed to stay this bad till the end. I watched the whole thing and it was never any good. It was forced, predictable and very fake. But I can't blame the actors for this, they did good, in some cases even great, making something of the unbelievable dumb dialogues they got, yes sometimes you can see how bored they are, but if there is anything good about this thing, it's the acting. The music is nothing special, the special effects are sufficient, the camera work is decent, but the writing... I checked the spoiler box, so I could list some of the 'plot twists' you know are coming, just so you know you got it right. The father is not really dead, the uncle is just a troubled guy with good intentions, the mother has powers too, the lead lady and the lead guy hook up, the best friend finds out and becomes a target, but survives, the bad guys' daughter dies, etc etc etc. Almost every plot reveals itself as it begins. Accept for the epilogue which had some surprises, mostly because IT DIDN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. And the premise? It's dumb. Just dumb. Evolved humans that can fight, throw people around with their powers, use guns, but can not kill, how does that even work? There is so much wrong with the story.

Some of the fight scenes are decent, but only some of them.

Dark Fist (2012)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
A very decent low budget flick, 4 August 2017

I've been subbed to the Warski channel for a while now, but I just recently discovered they made this movie. I found it on Youtube and was pleasantly surprised. I've seen quite a few low budget films, even from some of the Youtubers I follow, like Ralph the movie maker and Channel Awesome. Sometimes it's a hit, like Ralph's King Candy and sometimes it's a miss or just a mess, like the Channel awesome film I saw. Dark Fist is a hit.

Yeah sure, it's not for everyone. It has the kind of crude humor that would probably turn away some people. but it's not meant for these people anyway. By times it's pretty obvious that this is a low budget production. But the tone of the film is consistent. It knows its audience and delivers. The story might not be very original, it still is somewhat inventive every now and then. And most important: There was not a moment that I was bored. The pace was very strong and in amateur movies I find that to be a rare quality. Also most of the action scenes were pretty good, the CGI blood at one moment was a little let down though, I almost always prefer practical effects.

In conclusion, I had a great time watching this movie. I loved the jokes, I liked the plot and the writing very much and even the acting was enjoyable for the right reasons.

I am very interested in seeing future projects from these guys!

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
This movie hurts my feelings., 26 August 2016

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Ow my God, this thing was a waste of everything!

The plane hijack with the guy disguised as Tom Cruise was stupid, Tom Cruise climbing in the mountains and hanging around with one hand was over the top, but not in a fun way. It was just dumb and unnecessary. Then the bath tub scene was kind of okay, but the conclusion with: "I triggered the alarm, heh heh!" was quite dumb again. And then the chase - ridiculous - and kissing scene, Oh My God, the kissing scene. It was just awful, horrible, scarring, sickening!

After that this thing didn't really get any better. They found a way to make every twist predictable and every action scene stupid and dull. It strange, I've seen a lot of bad movies, but most bad movies are more entertaining than this. How can you suck all the fun out of the cheese? How can you make 'over the top' boring? This movie can teach you that. I am surprised at how cheap this movie feels compared to how much money went in it. I am typing this as the last boring dumb stupid cliché scene plays out and even though I am multitasking I feel like I have been wasting time. I feel scammed.

*beep* this movie.

You've been warned, if you want to play this movie at home, make sure you are doing something else as well.

Paintball (2009)
3 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Lets die in a very stupid way, because its in the script!, 11 January 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

When I watch a horror/actionmovie, I want to see some action and I want to see some cool deaths. I do not want to sit with my mouth open in shock, wondering why the hell somebody would do such a stupid thing. Too bad that was exactly my situation for about fifty minutes, then I turned it off. It doesn't matter, I already knew how it would end after the first ten minutes and so would you. Yeah, its that kind of movie. Why would anybody yell for about ten minutes at his teammates while trying to hide, take of her camouflage, take of his jacket while laying on the ground with the killer face to face, stabbing an obvious innocent guy, killing a teammate in such a bloody stupid way, it makes me cry, shout at each other for minutes without anything else going on, etc... All I really can say about this piece of crap is: just skip this movie, its not worth it.

Dragonquest (2009) (V)
12 out of 25 people found the following review useful:
The Super Evil Demonic Bad Guy should have won., 24 March 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

If you're younger than ten, you might find this movie exiting. If not this movie will be a waste of your time. The characters are all flat and cliché, their actions predictable, just as the 'coincidents' in the storyline. You know the boy and the girl will hook up, even though there is no chemistry between them at all. You know the boy will defeat the Super Evil Demonic Bad Guy, even though he doesn't really do anything to deserve such a victory, got no dragonfighting experience and makes one stupid mistake after another. The special effects are pretty lousy and the dragons that appear are in no way believable.

Here a short summary: Boy lives in village. Super Evil Demonic Bad Monster shows up, burning and eating everyone. Boy surprisingly turns out to be the 'chosen one'. Boy must seek stones to complete his medaillonthingy. He meets: Super Strong Fighting Good Girl (She's going to betray him after she got brainwashed by the Super Evil Demonic Magic of a Super Evil Demonic Mirror, but in the end everything will be okay) and Super Strong Fighting Good Old Guy. (He dies, thank you God!)

Then there are: A Super Brave Fightin Selfsacrificing King, A Super Evil Bad Trader Guy, A Super Evil Stupid Blind Spider and the Super Evil Demonic Bad Guy Himself.

The boy fights the Super Evil Demonic Bad Guy and, of course, at first it seems like the hero is going to lose (Whahaha, yeah right!), then suddenly he wins because his magic (which he just discovered) is stronger for no particular reason. The girl walks up to the boy and kisses him, also for no particular reason. They look at their Super Strong Good Dragon (who came up in the last 2 minutes to fight the Super Evil Demonic Monster) flying in the sky. END.

There is actually one scene in this movie that I really liked: The battle between the two armies, somewhere at the beginning of this picture. It was kind of arty.

2 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Robotchicken meets average teen movie, 30 March 2009

No, this ain't no top comedy, typical teen movie, porn movie or really extreme movie, but it also isn't as bad as most IMDb'ers say. Some of the jokes are funny, some are lame and the acting is sometimes pretty bad, but still it as some funny and interesting aspects. The setup of this movie reminded of the animation series of Robotchicken: a bunch of sketches which are zapped when finished. And the same thing is going on here. Mix Robotchicken with an average teen movie and this is what you get. I did like the movie and I think the movie could have been only a little better, not much, because this is what this genre is like. Bad sex jokes, sexy babes and some typical American life lessons. If you like movies like American Pie, this movie is worth a try.

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