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A Talking Cat!?! (2013)
Just . . *sigh . .
Yep, that about sums it up.
I'm writing this review mostly because I feel compassion for Johnnie Whitaker, who deserved something better. I also feel it for the relatively inexperienced teenage actors, because they did, too. And Eric Roberts, well, I sincerely hope he got paid a lot for his literally phoned-in performance. Just a whole lot of money.
So, this "movie" (as it's been categorized). Awkward conversations that don't advance the plot, an endless series of establishing shots, and the longest and most pointless closing credit sequence ever cut together are the things you will find here. And very little else, it turns out.
Well, maybe that's wrong: there's an inadvertently gay subtext. Oh and, yes, as another reviewer observed, there is indeed a talking cat that is a key part of the story somehow.
Just a . . . a bad movie
I, too, tuned in to see the cast members of "Hogan's Heroes" in different roles, though other than Leon Askin, most of them are playing very similar characters. After a time, one gets used to the novelty casting, and the movie itself begins to show through.
Leading lady Elke Sommer is beautiful and genuinely charming, at least in those scenes where she is allowed to act. (An aside: I wish she had been given more to do during her film career.)
On the whole, however, this movie is very poorly written and directed. Most of the physical humor is silly rather than funny, as well as being badly choreographed. Take at most 15 minutes to appreciate said cast members and then turn to something riveting and intellectual, like a rerun of Gilligan.