11 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
Almost thought this was an Ewe Boll Film...
12 March 2009
So horrible. Horrible writing, direction, etc. Don't buy in the $5 bin at Wal-mart. Wait till the homeless guy trades this to you for a cigarette. Ewe Boll would have been simply proud of this film. Since this was a tad better than anything he has ever accomplished. Sad part is, Capcom lost a butt load of cash on another film. When you're praying Jean-Claude VanDamme will appear and save the film, you know something is wrong. It reminds me of Star Wars Ep. 1-3, you're watching great actors and actresses perform horribly due to terrible writing and direction. Pay NO ONE TO SEE THIS FILM!!! Use it as torture, I know I will.
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Transformers (2007)
Is everyone this retarded?
6 July 2007
It is hard to believe a true fan of the Generation 1 series would write such a horribly muddled movie that vomits the concept of the terribly constructed Transformer: Armada series which was thankfully canned. Yet, here it is on the big screen and very much like every other sappy teen love comedy with action story we've been subjugated to the last 10+ years. Its old, you made Optimus Prime dance around the outside of a house to hide from parents, then had a whole unnecessary conversation between mother, father and child about masturbation and the code names to call it. Reminds me of Pearl Harbor, The Hulk and a few other films out there, if you cut out the stupidity, drama and comedy, some of the core realism and originality of what it once was is there, if only for a few fleeting moments. Please stop pissing on people's childhoods for money.
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More than a simple vampire film.
26 October 2003
Some writers would need at least a ten page dissertation to even begin to acknowledge this film in the annals of vampire filmography. The directing, acting, story line, etc. is far before its time. The gradual pace of the film not only intrigues, but entices as it is not only a horror film but a mystery. The plot is well developed, yet leaving much of the background to imagination. Nothing is rushed as the quality is very well defined. Well enough ranting and happy thoughts, this film is worth tracking down and very thoughtfully conceived. Take the time to enjoy it.
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Trash, pure trash.
12 April 2003
Warning: Spoilers
CONTAINS SPOILERS Women have been complaining about being treated unfairly in life, in work, in general yada yada yada. BUT then when they are given the chance to shine, it seems they play down to the stereotypes and hide behind their own ignorance. This movie had more than enough chances to be a big hit within itself, even a cult classic. It had to begin with an silicone implanted hooker to get ANY rise, hoping to hook the male viewer, because God knows, thats the ONLY way to get him. The chances for comedy were completely run down like a bad lawyer or politician. Then, trying to gain some better ground it throw in lesbianism. I don't think the writer or director could have killed this film anymore than what they've done. The characters you are suppose to care about are the villains in the next scene (the females), and then wonder why they are kicked to the curb and thrown out when they bite the hand that feeds them. I want, NO, I DEMAND BACK THE HOUR AND A HALF OF MY LIFE I LOST ON THIS FILM. The only justice the film has IS (spoilers) that most of the complete idiots of the film DIE within the last minutes. Kinski's character should have had a more painful death and her two accomplices should have died with her. Terrible, terrible film. Completely misleading and has no true point with a plot shadier than a mortuary with a restaurant on the back end claiming to have the freshest meat in town. Watch and decide, but don't expect anything special. I didn't have that many problems with lesbians till this film.
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Charlie Hoover (1991– )
A true comedy that never got the chance to fly.
16 March 2003
Charlie Hoover was the awarding accomplishment of Sam Kinison. After fighting addictions with drugs and alcohol, he redefined himself and put his life back in order. Due to his wild lifestyle it wasn't until 1991 that Kinison was finally able to get a network to back him in a show. Finally, after going the distance, Fox put Sam Kinison in Charlie Hoover. He played the deep inner voice of Tim Matheson's character Charlie, who was pushed around in life.

Kinison was portrayed as a three inch tall figment of Charlie's depressed and downtrodden psych. It was pure chemistry as Sam played the part to the letter. He was that inner voice screaming for bloody vengeance in a comedic way. Pushing Charlie to stand up for himself against his co-workers and especially his mother-in-law. The power of the series was cut short tragically when Sam Kinison was killed in an auto accident which many would call vehicular homicide. He gave so much to the comedy world, shaping the way stand up comedians perform uncensored.

This was a great show and I can only hope that it will be placed on DVD to be seen by the new generations who didn't grow up hearing Sam's distinctive scream.
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Yellowbeard (1983)
A fine comedy overlooked for much too long!
16 February 2003
This is one of those fine comedies that seems to be forgotten to time. Even with it turning a ripe age of 20, it still puts the crack in the ribs from laughing. Almost all of the Monty Python crew is on the bill, and even Cheech and Chong are thrown into the mix. I can only praise this masterpiece of divine comedic genius. The only depressing part is that it hasn't been transferred to DVD yet. Being redigitalized and preserved is what this film needs. If you can find it on VHS treasure the moments!
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Wow, what a waste of money!
10 December 2002
All I ever heard while being raised was equality of the sexes, and here we have a film that not only exemplifies imbalance, but continues through with a whole concept that one sex is better. All the while watching I was hoping for that redeeming quality to make the viewer feel as though there is hope for the future, and there wasn't. I'll admit to not finishing the film, I had to turn it off at the part where the old man whore told the genetic man Adam that it was ok to be a whore and get, and I quote, "More tail than any man in the past time." I know not finishing it is a bad review on myself, but it is the responsibility of the writer and crew to develope a story that will keep a viewer interested, and they failed. This film betrays all true female nature qualities of the mother figure and the need for balance. Instead it exemplifies what America ran by lesbian natzis would be like,and I'm not against lesbians. Thank you Mr. Director! Someone please give me a redeeming quality... wait I have it! There's no sequel!
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Viper (1994 TV Movie)
Not Knight Rider, but automobile sci-fi none the less.
23 November 2002
Viper was Dodge's way of introducing their new Viper car to the public and it got the point across. The beginning of the series was simple, but for the most point well written. It surrounds a ingenious scientific engineer who designs a weapon to fight crime that doesn't use bullets. The reason is because the scientist himself was placed in a wheelchair due to a stray bullet in a shootout between the police and criminals. The car metamorphs from a red Viper to a gray heavily plated Dodge Viper and uses a energy projectile tazer gun called the Pulse Missile, along with a mobile camera unit not unlike the one used in Speed Racer. It took a little while to carry over, but the CGI grafix were up to speed for the time in television. The characters were stereotyped, but enjoyable. Overall a good series until towards the end when it got bounced around for a time slot and then the cast was changed too many times. It was the automobile sci-fi for the 90s and should be seen not only as a tv series but an add for Dodge Motors, just check the credits, they funded it. Take the time because its not Knight Rider, but it fills a void. Look for it early mornings, and I mean early (4a.m. Central Standard) on the Sci-fi channel. Enjoy.
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Part of the series of Super Hero television.
23 November 2002
This is the third movie set to tv for The Flash. If I remember correctly it was part of the first and only season The Flash survived on tv. It wasn't the greatest story, but it put the more experienced, retired crime fighter, Nightshade, side by side with the new one, Flash. It also set a president for the uprising African American superheroes, i.e. Nightshade that D.C., Marvel, Image and other comic books were pushing. It compresses all the early cartoons, as well as the later ones in regard to the new rookie hero and the retired vigilante. A very decent show to watch, especially if you love comics and their transformation into moving visual media. Take the time and give The Flash a try, it'll surprise you with the chemistry and performance.
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Mark Hamill as a villain, no way!
23 November 2002
Once again the first season of The Flash produces a second film. This one went far enough to get mark Hamill to play the Trickster, who was frozen I believe in the 50s to be thawed out in the 90s. He, the Trickster, plays the role of the criminal genius born far before his time, so he freezes himself to awaken in 2000, but the timer malfunctions and releases him in the 90s. It was very campy but a good super hero story worthy of comic book legend. If only Sci-fi channel would rerun this series and its films to remind people and entertain younger generations.
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Senior Trip (1995)
Perfect for a relaxing laugh.
20 November 2002
I was overly joyed when I saw the trailers for Senior Trip. It appeared to be a very good no brainer for a 90 minute laugh. Unfortunately it wasn't well taken to by movie-goers which made its release to vhs very slow and limited. It hasn't even made it to dvd yet and I know of terribly worse comedies that have, and most are from the present Saturday Night Live Crew. The film does fulfill the area of not only certain high school hijenks, but also a human feeling for the kids of that specific time. It pushed through the ideas of free alcohol, drugs but not so much sex. There was the element of sex, in words and conversation, but no real nudity or fulfillment. Overall an excellent film that would have done better a few years later when teen flix came back with a vengeance. Senior Trip carries with it the National Lampoon feel of Animal House, but doesn't veer off into a demented spoof like Not Another Teen Movie. It filled the void where drama and action films had worn away movie goers in the mid 90s. Watch for Tommy Chong as the bus driver and the chemistry, whether electrified or jaded between the characters.
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