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Fred: The Movie (2010)
This has to be the worst movie I've EVER seen. The acting is bad, the script is bad, the plot isn't TOO bad, although it's pulled off in the worst way imaginable. I actually considered walking out and getting a refund, however I decided to stay and watch the rest, just to see how bad it is.
I actually found the film to be rather offensive, in it's portrayal of bullying and stereotypical gay people.
I will not bother to expand upon what the film is about, from my above comments I hope you now realise what an annoying piece of celluloid trash this and will not waste your money on it, like I so foolishly did.
If, after reading my 'sentiments' towards the movie, you STILL want to see it, please be prepared to die inside and give up your dignity.
Without a doubt, the worst movie of the year. 1/10
Possibly the most boring movie ever made
Or, at least the most boring I've ever seen. 'Somewhere' makes 'It's Complicated' look like 'Hard Target', in terms of how interesting it is and how much happens. In fact, virtually nothing happens in this movie.
'Somewhere' has no real story or character development. The first scene in the movie shows the main character, Johnny, an actor, driving around in a circle for at least two minutes. If this is meant to represent something, I certainly didn't see it. A few minutes later, he watches two pole dancers for what seems like four or even five minutes. If I remember correctly, there is no dialogue in either of these scenes.
Later on, Johnny watches his young daughter ice skate for another four or five minutes. Again, there is little or even no dialogue in this scene. In fact, I bet the movie's script was written on less than 15 sheets of paper.
The main question is, is 'Somewhere' meant to be entertaining, or is it intentionally boring. Johnny, even though he's an actor, seems to live a rather boring life. Maybe the director wanted the audience to feel what Johnny feels? I don't know, and to be honest, I really don't care.
I was certainly not entertained by 'Somewhere'. I was not interested in 'Somewhere'. In fact, the trailers shown before the movie, including one for about a talking alien voiced by Seth Rogen, were more entertaining and FAR fore interesting than the movie itself.
I guess you could say, with me only being a teenager, I'm too young to properly enjoy this film. I know a good movie when I see one. I have thoroughly enjoyed other films about adult life. 'Garden State' is one of my all-time favourite movies. 'Somewhere' is one of the worst.
I only actually went to see this because Chris Pontius from 'Jackass' is in it (which is why I have given it two stars not one) and because the trailer made it look minorly interesting. Then again, being the big 'Jackass' fan I am, I guess maybe a (very) slow-moving drama with absolutely no comic or enjoyable elements whatsoever just isn't for me.
Family Guy (1998)
A show that got worse as it went along...
Family Guy is just a sign of the times, unfortunately. Audiences continue to lower their standards for what is legitimately humor, accepting mindless arrangements of non-correlating flashbacks and grotesque conduct packaged into 30 minutes. Before you know it, some genius will deem a floating rubber ducky in a tub doing nothing for 30 minutes as humor, and people will agree. Humor for me WAS the best way to inform, educate people, and establish culture...while giving good laughs. We need to reverse this trend before we all devolve.
If you're looking for a similar alternative, I would recommend The Cleveland Show, which is from the makers of Family Guy but is far funnier and doesn't depend on 'cutaways' and so-called offensive 'jokes' (if they may even be called that) to entertain.
Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995)
Best of the series, IMO
I usually only do reviews for films I hate, but this is one of the best films I have ever seen. 128 minutes of pure gold (which is not meant to be a reference to the subplot of the film).
Anyway, this is, in my opinion, the best in the "Die Hard" series, it makes up for the disappointment of the 2nd film. In this film, Hans Gruber's brother, Simon, is making phone calls to John McClane and telling him where bombs are set, and how long McClane has to stop them from exploding.
With some of the best action sequences on film, including an awesome scene where McClane is chased down a tunnel of falling water, "Die Hard With A Vengeance" is a true action film and one of the best of it's kind.
Max Keeble's Big Move (2001)
Oh my god I cannot believe I am writing a review for this loonie bin of a movie
If I could give this movie a -10, then -10 it would be. I was dumb enough (at the age of 10) to rent this movie from a video rental, only to discover that several years later, guess what movie wins? Cool As Ice.
Now, if you read my other reviews,you know I can put up with some Bad movies. I've seen Good Burger, Juno, Home Alone 4, Air Buddies, and Cabin Boy, but this one is worse than all of those COMBINED. You can tell this movie is gonna be bad just by the front cover. Half - Jap looking kid has carved words in his chest (supposedly using a knife) while standing in front of the most bland looking girl in the world and a seemingly anorexic fat kid who bears a frightening resemblance to Josh from Drake And Josh. Oh, wait! That is him!
The movie is even worse. Some retard kid is picked on my an ever bigger retard who's afraid of a frog that looks like it's from The Kid A Littles. Later on, he sneaks into the junkyard and pours ice cream all over some french guy and Cuba Gooding Jr. Do I need to say more?
Anyways, this movie is just BAD BAD BAD. If you want a good bad movie that's actually OK in some parts, rent Good Burger. I mean, come on. It's Keenan and Kel, who can go wrong?
For some reason, IMDb doesn't have a 0 star rating. If there ever was one movie that deserved that rating, "Juno" would be that movie.
Now, many people consider Vanilla Ice's 1991 box office flop "Cool As Ice" to be the worst movie ever. They obviously didn't see "Juno", now, did they?
In it, the world's most annoying teenage girl gets pregnant by some loser who doesn't seem to care. I guess he did the right thing. After all, who would have sex with ELLEN FUGLY PAGE?
Of course, she doesn't even deserve a "chick" status. Chicks are hot. Ellen Page is not.
Case closed. Next!