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BMX Bandits (1983)
1/10
Best. Movie. Ever.
28 February 2004
If I was on my deathbed, and my loved ones were gathering around me, and if they asked me if there was anything I wanted to do before I died... I would reply, "Show me BMX Bandits, one last time." Obviously, this will never happen, as I have no loved ones, and in fact will probably die alone. But enough about me.

BMX Bandits is an unparalleled achievement in cinema history, ranking right up there with, "Out of the Body" and "Birth of a Nation." It basically features a nubile NIcole Kidman (in tight BMX pants ;-) ) and her band of mates, Goose, and P.J. Confused? That's because those names are BMX lingo. This film is jam-packed with BMX tomfoolery and other high speed things. Look for a wizend David Argue (remember his role in Gallipoli?) as the colorful crook, "Whitey." Watch as him and his partner-in-crime, John Ley (Mustache) are unable to kill three kids on bikes. Even with a muscle car. And a trunkful of guns. Thrills and chills ensue. Scary Graveyard Hide-and-go seek! Foam fertilizer! Male short shorts! Complicated movie-within-movie descriptions. And one extremely awkward kiss. This movie is not to be missed.
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