Matti-Man Reviews

Guy Ritchie's the Covenant (I) (2023)

A story of exrardinnary human courage

[9/10 · 2 July 2023]

To tell the truth, I was expecting a gung-ho war tale, filled with Guy Ritchie's trademark smart and sassy dialogue. What I got was a tale of incredible bravery, as Dar Salim's Amhed faces stupendous odds to save the life of Jake Gyllenhaal's Sgt Kinley. And despite the huge debt the US Army owes to Amhed, Kinley's efforts to make good on the promise of a visa for his interpreter are met with stonewalling, indifference and a total disregard for The Right Thing To Do.

It's probably not literally a true story ... but it does have a dreadful ring of truth to it.

No, it's not the film I was expecting, but it's a film I'm glad I watched, as hard as it was to in places.

Iron Fist: Heart of the Dragon (2018) Season 2, Episode 5

It's okay as an action show ...

[5/10 · 28 April 2023]

... but the writers display a spectacular lack of understanding about how martial arts work. Skills have to be earned. You can't transfer skills with hocus-pocus or magic. You can't even transfer skills by chi. Only training can increase your martial arts levels.

So the idea of Davos "stealing" Danny's iron fist abilities is just ludicrous ...

That aside, it is kind of fun to see the yellow Iron Fist mask from the 1970s comics, even though it didn't really have any actual function in this series.

And I quite like they way they've sneaked in Daredevil villainess Typhoid Mary from the comics ... I'll be interested to see where they go with her, though we could use a clearer definition of her abilities ...

But my goodness, the actor who plays Davos is irritating, isn't he?

Iron Fist: The Mistress of All Agonies (2017) Season 1, Episode 9

The most unbelievable thing about this episode was ...

[4/10 · 19 April 2023]

... if Danny is supposed to be the greatest exponent of Chinese martial arts, how is it that he doesn't know his chi can be used to heal the poisoned Colleen? It's even more unbelievable than the fight in the previous episode, where Danny - an expert in Chinese martial arts - didn't recognise drunken boxing style (heck, any Jackie Chan fan would know about that).

The writers of this show (and to be fair, of the original comics) don't appear to have done even the most cursory research on Chinese martial arts, Japanese martial arts, and the differences between them.

I despair, sometimes, I really do ...

Iron Fist: Immortal Emerges from Cave (2017) Season 1, Episode 6

I like the show but ...

[5/10 · 17 April 2023]

The biggest problem here is with the staging, which is the director's responsibility. The dumbest thing Danny does in the whole episode is to let the Spider Lady - someone he's come to fight to the death - walk around behind him. Has RZA never seen Enter the Dragon? "Never take you eyes off your opponent, even when you bow," advises Bruce. So what does Danny do ..?

As other reviewers have mentioned, the martial arts on display are quite variable, excellent one moment, amateurish the next.

Anyway, we'll see if it gets any better ... mostly I just want to get through all the Netflix shows so I can watch The Defenders ... then I can form an overall opinion ...

Those Who Wish Me Dead (2021)

A lesser Taylor Sheridan, but Taylor Sheridan nonetheless

[7/10 · 25 March 2023]

I actually quite enjoyed this Hollywood popcorn movie from Taylor Sheridan, but I have a bit of a problem with IMDB's synopsis by Nick Riganas, who appears to not even have seen the film. To describe Aiden Gillen and Nicholas Hoult's characters as "two highly trained assassins", when they were actually more like the comedy relief they were so incompetent, makes me wonder if we were watching the same movie.

All that aside, I think Angelina Jolie and the other Sheridan regular Finn Little do a pretty good job in the lead roles with strong support from the always reliable Jon Bernthal.

It's not going to change your life, but it passes 98 minutes entertainingly enough.

1923: War and the Turquoise Tide (2023) Season 1, Episode 4

Convent education: bringing it all back

[9/10 · 22 February 2023]

Anyone who thinks Taylor Sheridan's portrayal of the draconian behaviour of the "sisters of mercy" is over-the-top has clearly never attended a convent school.

I was at convent school for a year in 1964/5 courtesy of my Roman Catholic grandmother and while, granted, the education I received did set me up for a scholarship at a good grammar school and, for the most part, the nuns were kind and considerate, there was one sister who was borderline psychotic. She was very fond of battering ten-year olds across the back of the hands with a metal edged ruler and on one occasion, my parent were forced to "have a word" because they felt they were paying fees for education, not for torture.

My wife, too, was convent-educated and more than once ran away from the school when she was denied a drink of water by the "well-meaning" nuns.

So I would have no problem with Sheridan's portrayal of nuns, especially in view of what's come to light around how the Catholic church treated unwed mothers in Ireland as recently as the 1950s.

That aside, 1923 continues to be a riveting watch, almost - but not quite - as good as 1883. But then, I'm only on episode 5, so there's every opportunity for Sheridan to knock it out of the park in the last few episodes and elevate my score of 9 to 10.

Love You Till Tuesday (1969)

Oh dear, oh, dear, oh dear ...

[3/10 · 22 February 2023]

There's no getting away from it ... this is pretty bad. I would imagine this was seriously dated for 1969 ... more Sgt Pepper than Ziggy Stardust, with its self-conscious hippy stylings and dubious support from Hermione and Hutch (who remind me of a pair of Playschool presenters). More so when you consider that the first Led Zeppelin album came out in January of the same year.

Mime is never a good look. It's the sort of thing that would have sent me screaming from the room in 1969, when I was fifteen, and even now, unless you're Charlie Chaplin, just step away from the mime.

Full disclosure, I was never a fan of Bowie in the 1970s, with his freaky clown impressions ... and less so of his late 1960s material. The 1980s stuff was a lot more interesting when he began to embrace funkier danceable stuff like "Fashion", and of course the Nile Rogers-produced material from "Let's Dance" onwards ...

So this is definitely not for me. Fans of early period Bowie might like it better ...

Shotgun Wedding (2022)

Makes other J-Lo films look like Oscar contenders

[1/10 · 29 January 2023]

Wow ... I don't know what I just watched, but I know what it wasn't.

It wasn't a comedy. Because it really, really wasn't funny. Jennifer Coolidge had a couple of good gags, but after that I'm struggling.

It wasn't a romance, because the lead characters aren't in the remotest way endearing or charming ... just irritating.

And it sure as heck wasn't an action movie, because the necessary "turning the tables on the bad guys" just never happened.

I admit I have a soft spot for Maid in Manhattan. And The Wedding Planner wasn't too bad, but otherwise I wish Jenny would choose her vehicles more wisely. Shotgun Wedding wasn't one of her better decisions.

A terrible mess of a movie. The only good thing I can say about it is that J-Lo looks better here than she did when she was 23. How she does it I do not know ... but not a good enough reason to spend 101 minutes of your life on.

The Spider's Web (1938)

Definitely one of the best serials - but it's a low bar

[9/10 · 25 January 2023]

I love the original pulp stories, the best of which were scribed by Norvell Page. In the pulps, Wentworth was a grim, brutal (and borderline deranged) killer of criminals, and Nita was almost as steely as her fiance. The menaces were epic (crooks poisoning canned food, for example) and Wentworth's revenge swift and terrible, making for one of the most violent pulps of the period.

There's none of that darkness in this serial. As other reviewers have noted, the music is a bit too upbeat, and Warren Hull's portrayal of Wentworth is a bit too cheery. And Iris Meredith is a bit too wholesome for an accurate reading of society girl turned vigilante Nita Van Sloan.

But there's much to recommend The Spider's Web. The pace is breakneck, The Octopus is a great villain and there's a wonderful Death Ray used by the baddies to down aircraft.

If you've never seen a movie serial from the 1930s or 1940s, you may well watch the first episode then give up, thinking, "What the blue blazes am I watching?" But if, like me, you grew up watching these chapterplays at the Saturday morning matinees, then give this one a chance ... it's one of the best.

Kaleidoscope (2023)

Intriguing take on the classic heist story

[8/10 · 1 January 2023]

I don't know if this is the first example of a non-linear tv show ... but the idea of a series where you can watch the episodes in any order and still understand how the plot works is quite ingenious.

With a higher profile cast, I would probably have given this a nine ... but as the show unfolded, I realised that more famous faces would have been just a superficial improvement. The actors do an excellent job.

The only slight carp is why Rosaline Elbay's character, Judy, would end up married to such a complete douche-bag as Bob ... but maybe another episode will explain how that unholy alliance came about.

Looking forward to the rest of it ...

STOP PRESS: So, in the end, we never did find out why on earth Judy would want to be with an asshat like Bob. The only glitch in an otherwise satisfying story ...

The Rebel Intruders (1980)

Serviceable kung fu flick in search of a story

[7/10 · 22 September 2022]

THE REBEL INTRUDERS in an enjoyable entry from Shaw Brothers, directed by the prolific Chang Cheh. There's hardly any plot to speak of ... three jobless and hungry guys meet in a town run by kung fu gangsters and form an alliance. The rest of the running time is taken up with wall-to-wall fights, each more frantic than the last.

But there's one thing that puzzled me about the film. One of the bad guys wore a twist of red cord around his chest over his white jacket ... does anyone know what that means in Chinese culture. I've seen it other kung fu movies as well ... for instance, in Two Champions of Death/Shaolin, Feng Lu wears a similar red cord. If you do know what this signifies, please post the answer in the Trivia section. I'd be extremely grateful ...

Taxi Driver: The Evil Businessman (2021) Season 1, Episode 5

Oh, it was a webtoon first, was it?

[8/10 · 15 June 2022]

This is the first episode that made me aware of the show's webtoon origins.

Chairman Park's performance is certainly a bit over the top, but his henchmen with their multi-coloured hair are pretty cartoony.

It's not necessarily a bad thing, but I have preferred the series' more serious approach to some unpleasant situations in the earlier episodes.

Let hope this slightly off-key tone is just a bump in the road ...

A Discovery of Witches (2018–2022)

Worst sound mix ever ...

[2/10 · 1 February 2022]

I tend to agree with many of the reviewers here ... A Discovery of Witches is a collection of supernatural fiction cliches looking for a good storyline. I get that I'm not the target audience, but the faux-Mills-and-Boon romantic shenanigans get pretty tiresome pretty quickly.

But even more than the terrible dialogue is the terrible sound mixing. The underscore is ridiculously loud and the dialogue is so muffled that it almost impossible to hear ... which is almost, but not quite, a mercy.

On balance, the rewards are too few to battle through the awful sound quality ... I've had enough now.

The Champions: Desert Journey (1968) Season 1, Episode 25

I wish I could get to see this episode ...

[8/10 · 21 December 2021]

I never watched The Champions first time around ... I was much more of an Avengers fan ... however, I've been catching up with the series via the ITV4 repeats in HD ... but for some reason, broadcasters (including Talking Pictures TV) have never shown "Desert Journey". Episode 25 of the series. Does anyone know why this is?

The Champions: Full Circle (1968) Season 1, Episode 26

One of the better episodes ...

[7/10 · 16 December 2021]

This actually turned out to be one of my favourite episodes in the single season of The Champions.

There's something of a plot, involving the theft of a microfilm, and British character actor Patrick Allen (as secret agent Westerman) is in the frame for it. But while Westerman is captured, the microfilm isn't, and it's down to Stuart Damon to get himself placed in the same prison cell as Westerman to try to figure out what happened to the microfilm.

Alexandra Bastedo (the main reason for watching this series) doesn't really figure in the plot, so the producers gave her a little "comedy" sketch at the front of the episode, where she picks up a couple of hitch-hikers, one of whom thinks it's okay to start feeling Sharon up. He gets himself slapped around (off-camera) for that. It's not the sort of thing you'd see it a tv show these days, or if it was, then it certainly wouldn't be treated as comedy.

The surprise bonus is an appearance by Gabrielle Drake, who'd be memorably featured as Lt Gay Ellis in the cult series UFO.

The episode was written by The Avengers regular Dennis Spooner, interesting because The Champions was running around the same time as the sixth and final season of The Avengers, the one which featured Linda Thorsen as Tara King.

I didn't really watch The Champions at the time and looking back at these shows I can see why. It's a little bland, especially when compared with The Avengers, and not even giving the three leads super-powers really peps it up much.

Production company ITC would continue trying to replicate ABC-TV's Avengers formula - eg, Department S, Strange Report and even Randall & Hopkirk (Deceased) - without much success.

In This Our Life (1942)

Davis was never more hateful ...

[8/10 · 2 October 2021]

A quality A-production from Warner Brothers. All the ingredients are here - David is the centre role as the spoiled daughter of a once-rich family, Olivia de Havilland as her kinder, long-suffering sister. Charles Coburn has a great turn as a roguish and slightly creepy uncle, and Billie Burke does her usual schtick as a twittery, not-quite-there mother. With stellar direction from John Huston and and a typically great score by the equally great Max Steiner, this is entertainment firing on all six cylinders.

What I love about Davis is that she was never afraid to play horrible characters. While other actors of the era wanted to be liked by audiences, Davis never cared. I guess that what makes the storytelling so compelling. Bette gives it everything she's got. And then just a bit more. Sure, a couple of her scenes are a bit overdone. And as such, de Havilland seems restrained in comparison ... but melodrama needs to be melodramatic. I don't think anyone could say that In This Our Life doesn't deliver.

The Fall: Beauty Hath Strange Power (2014) Season 2, Episode 3

Oh, for goodness sake ...

[6/10 · 16 May 2021]

So, Stella Gibson knows that a hostile journalist is trying to get dirt against her and has already disclosed the name of her hotel in the newspaper. Yet she leaves her private journal - with details of her thoughts and doubts - on the bedside table, where any of the hotel staff could pick it up and sell it to the journalist. She also leaves her laptop lying out, instead of locking it in the room's safe. The latter would be considered gross misconduct by any organisation, and be grounds for dismissal.

It's lazy plotting, where the writer wants to plot to go in a certain direction, then has the characters act illogically to make that happen.

Now, please, will someone stab Paul Spector in the neck so we can all get on with our lives?

The Fall: These Troublesome Disguises (2014) Season 2, Episode 1

It's a pretty good show but ...

[6/10 · 16 May 2021]

... this episode does stretch credibility a little. Do we really believe that a six year old girl - in Belfast! - would greet an intruder, in the middle of the night, on the stairs of her how with "Who are you?" Really?

Like the crimes of Paul Spektor, these lapses in credibility have escalated as the the series has gone on.

I'm hoping that the show will level out and fly right ... let's see ...

Surviving Jeffrey Epstein (2020)

How can it be slander when it's true?

[9/10 · 3 September 2020]

The first point I want to make is - contrary to the assertions of another reviewer here - this is NOT an "anti-Trump piece". Trump's name is NOT called out repeatedly. Yes, he, along with Melania, is pictured in several photos with Epstein. As is Bill Clinton. There are several other luminaries pictured with Epstein throughout the program. So it's not like Trump is singled out. What is more telling is that Trump is pictured at all, and it's not more widely known. It's hard to believe that any of these famous folk had no inkling of Epstein's extra-curricular activities. You'd think famous people would be more cautious about who they associate with and who they're pictured with ... unless they're sure there will be no consequences.

More importantly, what stood out for me is how so many young women, from so many different parts of the United States, have all told essentially the same story. Epstein clearly had his tried and tested methods that "worked" for him, regardless of the physical and psychological damage caused. But then, we know that abusers lack empathy, like all psychopaths.

This is not a comfortable story, and some people - notably Alan Dershowitz and Alex Acosta - don't come out of this very well. But the stories of the abused women are heart-wrenching and deeply affecting. And it's deeply disturbing that a woman - Ghislaine Maxwell - could be so instrumental in facilitating any abuse of this sort, let alone the epic level of abuse seen here.

It's also concerning that the authorities appeared so reluctant, initially, to do anything about Epstein. In the scenes where he is being questioned by prosecutors, he seems so sure that he's untouchable. I guess we'll never know why he felt so confident. Just as we'll never know where he got the tools to carry out his suicide, considering how careful prison authorities are to remove all laces, belts and other items they could be used to hang themselves. Not in this case, apparently ...

The Umbrella Academy (2019–2024)

Sadly, terribly over-rated ...

[6/10 · 18 May 2020]

I had this show recommended to me by people whose opinion I respect ... but I think my trust may have been misplaced. I'm on episode nine, and I'm constantly slack-jawed at just how dumb the characters in this series are. Topping the list is Ellen Page as the completely insufferable Vanya. Was there ever a more self-centred, self-pitying piece of work than Vanya? The endless scene of her murdering nanny after nanny because she doesn't want to eat her oatmeal ... was that supposed to make us feel sympathy? Well, that sure backfired, didn't it?

Then there's ... oh, wait. I'm not done with Vanya yet. So Leonard Peabody manipulates her into manifesting her powers, by reading Sir Reg's notebook. The same notebook that Vanya finds under Leonard's bed, but doesn't read for two episodes?

Then there's ... oh, never mind. Suffice it to say that I'll watch the last episode, chalk it up to experience, then give Season Two a miss. There's other stuff I'd rather watch. Maybe with better storylines ... and acting.

I liked the chimp, though.

Dark Phoenix (2019)

No, it really is the worst X-Men movie ...

[1/10 · 3 May 2020]

Do not believe the reviewers here who tell you this film is being unfairly criticised and that it isn't the worst X-Men movie of all. It really is.

I cannot find anything positive to say. I'll give Sophie Turner the benefit of the doubt and entertain the idea that she has simply been given bad direction. But that's the kindest explanation I can give.

Like many others, I'm astonished at how you can take the most emotionally resonant X-Men tale of all, and turn it into this flat, unempathic dirge. Simon Kinberg, you should be ashamed. Return your fee immediately.

Thankfully, Disney appears to agree and have bought Fox to put an end to this rogue franchise (at least, that's what I'm telling myself). I'm hoping that they'll leave it a couple of years and then have Marvel Productions re-boot the whole franchise ...

It's Chris Claremont I feel sorriest for ...

The Great Hack (2019)

No surprises here, except for one

[7/10 · 9 September 2019]

All the points made in this documentary are good, but hardly anything we haven't heard before. There are many companies out there - not just Cambridge Analytica - who use our personal data to persuade us to do things we might not normally think of doing. We know that Facebook uses our behaviour on their platform to serve us ads they think will interest us. My wife can be sitting next to me, browsing a fashion site on her laptop, and on my Facebook feed ... within seconds ... an ad will pop up for that same company.

The surprise for me here is how completely unwilling to accept any accountability for their actions participants like Britanny Kaiser are. Like the scoundrel who claims they've done nothing illegal, while we're all shouting, "But you knew it was wrong!", Britanny and others don't feel they have anything to answer for.

It's also interesting to note the disproportionate number of reviews of this documentary on IMDB that rate it 1/10 and declaim against its bias. You might almost wonder if it were a coordinated campaign to discredit the views put forth that using personal data in this way breaks EU law - specifically GDPR - that is in place to protect All Of Us (not just liberals, people!) from precisely this kind of exploitation.

Just saying ...

Nick Fury: Agent of Shield (1998 TV Movie)

Come on, it's not that bad ...

[5/10 · 28 January 2018]

I'm an old-school Marvel fan. My Nick Fury was a hard-bitten, cigar-chomping Sergeant who ran a multi-cultural commando platoon in WW2, later a CIA Colonel who fought the Hate Monger (in reality Adolph Hitler) alongside the Fantastic Four in 1963, then turned up as the one-eyed director of SHIELD in 1965.

The Samuel L Jackson version is a 2002 construct created by Mark Millar for the Marvel alternate universe series The Ultimates. That version didn't fight in World War 2 and is not, technically, part of the main Marvel Universe canon. I guess the opportunity to actually cast Jackson in the role proved too great a lure for the film-makers, so they conflated the two universes.

This version of Nick Fury really does not deserve the hate from the other reviewers here. It really isn't that bad. The Heli-Carrier is great. All the supporting characters are here: The Contessa, Dum-Dum Dugan, Gabe Jones (thought he's morphed from a bugle-player into a scientist) and Burt Lancaster look-alike Clay Quartermaine (though he dies in the first few minutes). And Fury actually chomps a cigar all the way through.

I like the weird Hydra agents with their shaved heads and Matrix-style sunglasses. I loved Strucker's creepy daughter Viper, obviously channeling the sadistic Fah Lo See, portrayed by Myrna Loy in Mask of Fu Manchu (1932). I was glad to see the SHIELD agents' trademark black leather jumpsuits. And it's got The Hoff as Nick Fury.

Couple of small points - the junior agent Pierce should have been the boy-scoutish Jasper Sitwell from the comics. The Contessa should have had the fetching white streak in her hair. And instead of Viper, I'd have love to have seen Madame Hydra ... but you can't have everything.

Don't get me wrong ... this isn't even close to the level of the more recent Marvel movies, but it's not the worst of the other Marvel screen adaptations of the same period - The Punisher (which scored higher on IMDB) doesn't play as well. Blade, also scripted by David Goyer, fares a little better, but all in all, I quite enjoyed The Hoff as Nick Fury.

Get Out (I) (2017)

The plot just doesn't work ...

[3/10 · 25 January 2018]

There are many reasons that you might find Get Out unsatisfying or worse. Many here have pointed out that far from being ANTI-racist, Get Out is actually a pretty racist story ... simply reverse the racial types of all the characters and you'll immediately see just HOW racist.

It's also impossible to hypnotise anyone against their will, but this a movie, so we can just about let that one slide.

No, for me the real problem is that the script-writer doesn't seem to know what's going on in his own story.

So if Andre (the guy we see abducted at the beginning of the movie) is under strong hypnosis to be the "property" of the Amitages' elderly neighbour lady, and the flash of Chris' phone releases him (momentarily) from the hypnosis, then fine, I can live with that.

And judging from their odd behaviour, it seems as though the Armitages' two "servants" Walter and Georgina are also under the same kind of hypnosis.

Where it all starts to go wrong is when we're shown Jim Hudson undergoing surgery of have his brain removed. The plan is to pop his brain into Chris' body, right?

Then it's revealed that the same process was already performed on Walter and Georgina. It turns out this pair are actually Rose's grandparents, their brains transferred to donor bodies.

So my problem is ... which is it? Are the victims hypnotised, or are their bodies receptacles for white people's brains? See, it can't be both. A sudden flash might - plausibly - release a victim from hypnosis, but it sure as heck can't release someone from a brain transplant.

Chris' camera flash at the end of the film, that snaps "Granpa" back to his regular self, is just plain lazy writing that does't follow the rules the plot has itself set up.

Breaking the established parameters of the story just cheats the audience and that's a real shame because, with just a little more thought, this silly error could have been avoided.

Worthy of a Best Screenplay Oscar? I don't think so. Which is a pity, because I'd have loved a deserving horror movie to win.

Innocence (II) (2004)

Like watching paint dry ...

[1/10 · 24 January 2018]

Well, there's two hours of my life I'm not going to get back.

Just what Hadzihalilovic was aiming for remains a complete mystery. Attempts to place the story in the context of a recognisable universe would just be a waste of time. All I could see was an endless string of sophomoric metaphors for growing up - butterflies emerging from chrysalids and the senior girls dancing for an unseen audience while wearing butterfly wings. It's not subtle.

Then, at the end of the movie, the oldest girls are taken to an idyllic complex with fountains and boys. Is it a strange breeding program in a dystopian future. Who cares?

Based - it says here - on a novel by Frank Wedekind (he of Pandora's Box fame), I can't tell if Hadzihalilovic's film strays from the source material. I won't be seeking out the book to find out.

Absolutely, categorically not my cup of tea - and it's certainly not in the same league as Tarkovsky's works, as some here have suggested.