Reviews written by registered user
moycon

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35 reviews in total 
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2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
An obscure tromp through the Pacific Northwest, 16 November 2015
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I enjoy watching documentaries on cryptids and had thought I'd seen them all. I discovered this through the site Vinegar Syndrome. A company that finds awesome prints of obscure films and release them on an unsuspecting public. Anyways, the main guy in this film Morgan and I look almost alike (When I was a few years younger anyways) so I immediately took a liking to the film. Morgan and his crew (A tracker, biologist, micro biologist,eye candy girl, etc...) do the usual, walk through the woods, look for broken branches, cast prints, and discuss the big guy. Sasquatch AKA: Bigfoot. Actually the film says the beast has 100's of names, but only lists off a few. But whatever, there probably are 100's "Hairy Dude, Giant Feral Human Ape, Moe all come to mind.

Morgan is very serious and passionate about the search and frequently over-acts and uses words like "hell" & "damn" a lot to make that clear. Example: Morgan at one point says "I'm mad as hell about it"... "It" being scientists lack of recognizing the big beast with the evidence they have so far. Which as far as I can figure based on what was shown is basically none. They also get some "locals" who tell their tales. These peoples tales could best be described as under- acting, and one of them kind of looked like a wife beater, but I digress. The film also contains some discussions with some of the most respected names in Bigfoot hunting mainly John Green and Rene Dahinden. When this was made it was less than a decade since the Patterson film had been released so I imagine interest in Bigfoot was still pretty high. John & Rene had been hunting bipedal creatures since the 50's!! The film was good so I was surprised I hadn't heard of it before. It doesn't resort to recreating anything, so you will never actually see shots of Bigfoot which was a bit of a bummer. But it was interesting and some of the "true story" dialog is entertaining. The fact that some TV star shows up for a quick visit at the end made me wonder just how remote the location was, since TV stars today aren't known for trekking weeks into the mountains. Oh yeah I mentioned this would contain a spoiler, so here it is. ***SPOILER**** They don't find Bigfoot.

2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Mondo Shmondo, 26 September 2013
5/10

This is a strange film to call a mondo film. Seems to be a better name for it would have been Hidden Camera T&A, or maybe Mondo Nude-o. The entire film seems to be faked. They supposedly travel around the world, but models on a supposedly call girl billboard in London are recognized as American models from New York. A girl who supposedly lived in London all her life, has no English accent at all! If that was true, it would be AMAZING, sadly I think they were just BSing us.

Basically what you have here is scene after scene of girls finding reasons to take off their clothes and show the viewer some T&A. A man who uses nude girls to paint on. Men who go to private clubs to leer at strippers, call girls lesbians who will get naked and let men watch them make out. Tijuana, where poverty, slave trading and nudity go hand in hand. There are no genuine strange customs or rituals. (well unless you consider obvious fake satanic cults who get nude a ritual) There certainly is no animal mutilation (can you make a mondo film without animal mutilation!?) This comes off as an attempt to cash in on the Mondo craze and show some skin, lots of skin.

It's all pretty slow moving and tame by todays standards I suppose. Obviously completely bogus, the film is nicely shot and there are an awful lot of naked girlies to keep you entertained, so I suppose it's not a total waste. Still not what I'd consider required viewing, not even sure I'd consider it a mondo film.

Magia nuda (1975)
You have to believe we are magic..., 26 September 2013
8/10

This is an odd film. I originally had it in a Clamshell VHS tape format. The cover had a big cartoon eyeball and some other strange graphics like a man being hung by hooks. Wasn't sure what to expect. I think I was expecting more modern settings.

What you get in mostly primitive people and their use of "magic", which basically involves running around naked, animal slaughter, hurting each other, pee bathing, and suckling puppies, but mainly slaughtering animals.

It's actually a pretty interesting film. It's probably gross to people who are used to fast food, fast cars, and mortgage payments. A lot of the scenes in this film to me just seemed to be documentation of primitive people around the world and their day to day practices that seem gross to us because they are so different. It's hard to believe people lived like what was shown even in 1975. Some of the footage could very well have been from decades earlier than that.

If nothing else the flick serves as a time capsule of primitive people, with some goofy newer scene of things like psychic surgery throw in for good measure. I liked it. I've seen it 4 or 5 times over the years. It never fails to astound! It is how you say, Mucho Mondo!

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Mrs Vorhees must have fooled around with Jigsaw, 1 February 2010
4/10

Watched the new Friday the 13th remake yesterday. Bought it outright (on Blu-Ray no less) because I was always a fan of the Friday the 13th series.

I thought this "reboot" was dark, brutal, and uninspired. I didn't enjoy it too much, but one thing I did enjoy about this movie is it made me want to go back and watch the original 3 films again.

I watched this flick with my girlfriend and I can't say it was much fun. I can remember going to the theater watching a Friday the 13th flick and you would laugh and cheer as Jason went after the ASSHOLE characters you hated. Or woopin and hollerin as Jason approached and couple of kids playing hide the salami. There's none of that here. You won't cheer, you won't woop. Even the characters who are assholes you feel sorry for because Jason is so brutal and unrelenting...and quick. There isn't a whole lot of suspense here folks. For the most part when Jason sets his sites on you, your caught and sometimes tortured (Since when does Jason torture people?) quick like. I counted one decent kill (The dock scene) the rest reminded me of a Saw flick, set in the woods, with no "clever" twists, and Jason running around instead of Jigsaw.

Disappointed doesn't even begin to sum up my feelings.

Nightbeast (1982)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Nightbeast is the NightBEST!!!, 6 June 2009
7/10

I finally got around to watching Nightbeast just hours ago and let me tell you now, the flick is amazing! Terrible acting, gratuitous MILF boobies, Cheap FX, and a "hero" that looks like a guy I knew from high school. He's skinny, pale, has a gray afro (Note : The guy I knew in high school didn't have gray hair), a weak chin and HUGE mustache (Note : The guy I knew in high school did have a HUGE mustache). You know, your typical hero type.

Cheap jack spaceship crashes on Earth and rubbery, toothy alien begins a rampage of terror. Skinny gray afro hero and MILF (There's a few other people around, I don't refer to them so much as characters. Let's just call them...expendable folk.) have to figure out how to stop him on their own because the mayor can't be bothered with no alien, because he's having a party the governor will be at.

If you are the type of person that LOVES bad movies. Then you will certainly dig Nightbeast because it is gloriously bad. Luckily for us, it's bad in the best of ways. This movie packs more entertainment than any of the movies being pooped out of Hollywood these days. I say give the beast a chance and you may have the same opinion!

Spasms (1983)
2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Bite me, 9 September 2008
6/10

The story in a nut-shell. Oliver Reed has a psychic link to a satanic super snake which emerges from hell every seven years and kills people on a tropical island. He can see through the snakes eyes when it kills! Obviously the best thing to do in a situation like this is to bring the snake to the US (Actually Canada filling in for California) Naturally the snake gets loose and continues doing what giant venomous satanic super snakes do best. BITING PEOPLE!!! Good stuff.

The FX are done on the cheap. Lots O POV shots, inter-cut with VERY quick shots of a GIANT balloon-y snake head on a too thin looking body, inter-cut with screaming bloody people tossed around. The whole thing was done on the cheap for the most part. There is one well done super venomous bite that makes a guy break out a little. They probably spent half the budget on that one shot. You'll know the scene when you see it. If you like bad horror flicks from the 80's. You'll probably dig this movie. If the snake doesn't scare you, Oliver Reeds mustache will.

Shaggy dog or Yeti?, 11 July 2008
7/10

I've seen the flick probably a half dozen times, but it's one of those horror movies you just want to watch over and over. The biggest disappointment on the DVD release of this movie is that the original film featured the song Popcorn by Hot Butter. There is a big scene in the film where everyone is partying and yes...popping and helping themselves to popcorn from one of those big movie theater popcorn machines. (Wild wild party!!!!) Unfortunately the rights to the song could not be obtained (The DVD still has the credits for the song and band though!) so they changed the music to some lame Casio keyboard crap. Better to watch the old VHS version with the song intact.

Anyways, this flick is full serious over acting. These guys no doubt thought they were in line for an Academy award maybe. A professor take his students to a supposedly desolate, un-inhabited island. I say supposedly because this "island" has paved roads with guardrails, and obviously landscaped trees and shrubs everywhere. In fact the desolate island, kinda looks like the woods in a backyard most of the time. They are on the island to find a Yeti!! Mind you there isn't a lick of snow to be found, but sure enough a shabby Yeti with shaggy dog fur and those plastic Dracula teeth you used to get for a quarter is prowling around and he is hungry!!! There's a HUGE shock ending that's almost as good as the one from Planet of the Apes. Well not really. In fact it's kind of ridiculous, but that's OK because the whole movie pretty much is. If you haven't watched it, go ahead and try it out. It's a terrible terrible movie to be sure, but it's terribly entertaining as well.

7 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Weird Wacky Mustachioed Fun, 17 June 2008
7/10

I'll start by mentioning this is a Filipino-made horror-fantasy film. If you've ever seen a Filipino horror movie then you know you're in for a wild wacky horrorificly (is that a word?) entertaining time.

In this movie a paunchy mustachioed jeans jacket wearing Filipino human named Lando who uses the super powers of God is chosen by his dead uncle to battle the forces of evil. Before actually getting to battle Satan, he must first face the equally impressive mustachioed Prince of Magic who wears a bright red jumpsuit and cape (kinda like something Elvis might wear) and his minions and free the naked and chubby Filipino girls who were stolen from the village. This movie has so much imagination packed into 90 minutes you just have to like it in spite of the cheap-jack animated super powers everyone seems to have.

Also included in this wild flick are some pretty decent old school horror FX including a man (the dead uncle) who gets literally flattened by a huge boulder and is reduced to a still talking head connected a wet pile of flat intestines and gore. There is also an amazing ripping scene that will make you rewind more than once. (You'll know it when you see it) I'm sure most people after viewing this film would be like…"WTF!!?" but I've always got a kick out of it. I've had the BIG BOXED VHS version of this film in my collection for probably 15 years. Not sure if it's even available anymore which is a shame. If you want to be entertained, this flick is just the thing. I highly recommend it.

5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
36k Well spent., 15 June 2008
7/10

I watched this flick yesterday and I have to say it's the finest horror film made for $36,000 I've ever seen (Sorry Steckler) The film is definitely worth seeking out if you are a zombie fan. This movie reeks of soul and atmosphere. Some of the shots of the zombs are the best ever committed to film. VERY creepy looking dusty webbed corpses slowly shamble to their screaming victims. Brrrrrrr.

Hot saggy Canadian women with sexy accents will keep you preoccupied before the HORROR rears its undead corpse eating head. This film entertained from start to finish. I couldn't ask for more than that. My only complaint is that is was too short.

4 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Tartu is TAR-TURIFIC!!, 11 May 2008
7/10

I vaguely recalled this creepy movie from watching it years and years ago on Elvira's Movie Macabre. It was a movie I had no clue what the title was but certain scenes were forever burned into my memory. After the internet came along, I began searching for some of the old horror movies from my childhood. This one took some time finding because I could have sworn it was a B&W film. (If I had to guess I watched it on a B&W TV) After checking out several old movies including Omoo Omoo the Shark God and not seeing anything that I recalled, I literally stumbled upon Death Curse of Tartu for sale used on VHS one day and had in in my movie collection for probably a year before watching it. After the first few minutes it became clear this was the movie I had watched!!

Don't let others dissuade you, this is a GREAT spook movie! No where else will you see a beefy dead shape shifting Indian chasing teens through the Florida Everglades for disturbing his sacred ground with their go-go dancing in such vibrant color! (I actually turned the color to B&W the first time I watched this flick so I could watch it as I remembered it) The movie is obviously VERY low budget, but to me, it just adds to it's charm. As hokey as it is in parts, the death scenes are shocking and creepy. Naturally when SWV released this movie I HAD to upgrade. If you haven't had the pleasure and like fun, older spook flicks, I highly recommend this one.


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