Reviews written by registered user
skay_baltimore

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197 reviews in total 
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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
The Plight of the Preposterous, 14 July 2017
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Why these movies have to go so over the top is beyond me.

Initially I liked the tension between Theron and Diesel.

But it soon deteriorated into something that would make Wile E. Coyote seem like a non-fiction documentary.

The total disregard for any sort of reality was utterly appalling.

I managed to make it through to the scene with the sub and the cars.

Then I bagged it.

What a total waste.

Duplex (2003)
Throw Danny from the train, 23 April 2017
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Yet another Hollywood production that tries to capitalize on previous hits.

This burner is the "Throw Momma From The Train" from hell installment.

It's not funny.

It's alarmingly predictable.

Stiller is his usual mediocre performer.

Drew is totally wasted.

While Essell is, admittedly, spot on.

This film is the opposite of Gestalt: The whole is most definitely less than the sum of its parts.

Guess Willis really needed the money, 13 April 2017
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Suspension of disbelief is one thing. Suspension of any semblance of reality is another. This burner generates the latter, not the former, ad nauseam. As other reviewers have pointed out... This film kills the John McClane character. Willis must have really needed the money to have made this hot mess. How in the world did it ever get green lit? What were the PTB thinking? Not only is McClane stupid. He's obnoxious. Unfortunately, this film did not die quickly enough. And the only people dying hard were the ones unfortunate enough to have watched it.

6 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Turn the Paige, 22 March 2017
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Initially this show had some intrigue. Some sexuality. Some suspense. Some interesting story telling. However, from the minute they introduced the Paige/Pastor Tim story arc the show went straight into the crapper. I have never seen a worse actress than Holly Taylor. It doesn't help that her character has to be the dumbest teenager to ever walk this earth. And that includes any teenager who has ever appeared in a slasher movie. She is simply un-watchable.

And now that the show has completely devolved into a bad soap opera, it has no merit whatsoever. And as if Taylor's ineptitude isn't bad enough, we have FBI Agent Stan Beeman, the most idiotic, moronic, obnoxious male character in this train wreck. So added up, we have: improbable plots, horrendous acting, insufferable writing and directing, and a show that is really going nowhere fast. (Which can't be said for the pacing of the show, which makes a snail's pace seem like the Indy 500.) This hot mess would make spending a few decades in Siberia seem like a much-cherished vacation.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
More like Ring Around The Collar, 19 March 2017
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This show started out with promise. It was a good compliment to Burn Notice, and was slick and polished. For a while. Then the whole thing turned to mush. The plots became more and more improbable and silly. (i.e. Neal painting forged masterpieces literally overnight. The FBI incapable of catching Matthew Keller who operates unimpeded right under their noses, including Keller kidnapping both Peter Burke AND Elizabeth Burke in different episodes.) And in the process of trying to make Neal look like a Superman Renaissance Man McGyver, capable of painting, sculpting, forging, and fabricating anything out of thin air, they make FBI agent Burke look like a buffoon, incapable of catching a cold. And the whole plot arc with Kate and Neal's total infatuation with her was preposterous. This series probably should have ended years before it actually did. But alas...it dragged on, and dragged itself down. Oh well. Like some other posters have already stated, it's something to watch in the background when there's nothing else on.

"Patriot" (2015/II)
0 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Tries too hard, 3 March 2017
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Not the worst TV show I've ever watched. But far far far from the best. Patriot tries too hard to be hip. The result is that it's all over the place. And not in a good way. And maybe it's just me. But shows that start with all the: "6 hours earlier". "2 days ago". "11 years ago". "2017"...crap tend to get on my nerves.

It's as if the writers/creators think that by jumbling everything up it makes the show more "dramatic". It doesn't. It makes the show more annoying. Because it's a cheap ploy that doesn't come close to replacing good, sound storytelling. It's as if every show nowadays tries to be Twin Peaks. And most fail. Miserably.

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Very unrealistic, 21 February 2017
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I hate shows that have completely unrealistic logistics when it comes to "shootouts". To begin with the initial shootout was ridiculous. Will was outnumbered 10 to 1 yet he managed to escape. With Snyder in tow. Then there's the nonsense that goes on inside The Yonk. Then there's the whole point that the great FBI super sleuth Will can't see what's going on with his wife right under his own nose. Yes, I know. Love is blind. But is it also stupid? In the case of Will, the answer is "Yes". And that's the problem with this episode. It's stupid from the word go. And all the way through to the end.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Snooze-fest, 16 February 2017
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Long. Drawn out. Boring. Irrelevant. Way too much Ethan Chandler and "Sir" Malcom -- two of the worst characters in Penny Dreadful. Basically everything related to the Ethan Chandler back story is sleep-inducing. The story arc with Frankenstein and Dr. Jekyll is tedious. This show is great because of Eva Green and Billie Piper. Just about everything else is discard-able and forgettable. This episode is a perfect example of the forgettable and discard-able.

0 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Whitechapel meets the Keystone Cops, 10 February 2017
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Wow.

Where to begin?

I just finished watching seasons 4 and 5 of Ripper Street and decided to give Whitechapel a try.

Big mistake.

This show seems to have been written and directed by rank amateurs.

And the acting is about on par with the writing and direction.

The plots are almost incoherent.

The "detectives" could barely detect their own heart beats.

The acting is wooden and one-dimensional.

And so when it's all said and done, this should never have been said or done.

It's embarrassing, really.

No wonder crimes go unsolved in England.

(NOTE: The reason why every line has is on its own is to conform to the "10 line minimum" of IMDb.)

21 out of 39 people found the following review useful:
Unwatchable, 1 April 2016
1/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Everyone associated with this film ought to be banned from his/her respective guilds.

The writers.

The actors (guilt by association).

The directors.

The caterers.

The wardrobe dept.

The set designers.

The sound dept.

WHAT A MESS! This thing is so low rent it makes high school film class productions look like STAR WARS!

Boring. Clichéd. Unoriginal. Glacially paced. Absurd ending. (Imagine...a film that goes absolutely NOWHERE that ends with such a resounding thud it makes one want to attack the projectionist and DEMAND one's money back.) Fortunately, I had the good sense to download a shaky CAM pirated .mp4 -- at least THAT was a fitting format for this joke of a movie.

RUN, do not walk, to the nearest bomb shelter. Avoid this waste of two hours at all cost.


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