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jesusofchicago

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8 reviews in total 
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2 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
I would've given it a 1/10 but..., 14 August 2003
3/10

I gave it a 3/10. The whole movie was tacky and cliche. I saw Hardware Wars when I was exremely young and this seems to be either taking jokes from that, or from Spaceballs. The 'Dark Helmet' joke was just carbon copied. Why were they thumbs? I think it's humor like this that really has become prevelant...and I can't stand it. Instead of finding unique insight (hint, pick something that has yet to be parodied) just turn everyone into thumbs. I've said it before and I'll say it again, parody is dead.

Now, why did I give it a 3? Because one scene had me in tears. One of the commanders of the Death Star was giving Darth Vader some lip...and it was hilarious. "I'm a scary warlock and I'm going to get you with my mystic potions!" Something about that scene just got me laughing, so, I give it a 3. If I had found the whole movie that funny it would have been around 8 or 9, but, the rest was just cliched jokes. Oh well...parody is extinct.

The Beat (1988)
2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Huh? What? Wait, hold on? What!?!?! But..... Huh?, 7 July 2003

Imagine taking a dictionary and switching every definition of every word, and then being forced to try and understand English. That's about as understandable as 'The Beat' was. Here's a quote: "I am the priestess."

Here's another one:

"Man, this sucks."

The second quote was from me, after watching this movie.

It's just about as cheesy as it can get. This is the 100% best contender for the 3AM 'Starlight Movies' showcase on the WB.

2 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Undefinable, 12 May 2003
10/10

There's something undefinable about this movie that really grabbed me. It went from being very subtle and quiet to almost over the top. At times the story got so personal you'd forget there was a war going on, until it was thrown back at you undeniably. The score was perfect considering it's dynamics. It's a rather long film, but the content warrants the length. 10/10

1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Flawless, 23 November 2002
10/10

After viewing this movie many times (both theatrical release and dvd) I have no complaints and only praise. This is a flawless movie as far as movies go. This will be the 'Star Wars' of this generation. My rating - 10/10

Best of the best!, 17 November 2002
10/10

I'm commenting on this movie just to say my piece. I don't know how many people are left who haven't stumbled across this classic, so I'm sure everyone already has their opinion, and will disregard mine. But here goes anyway- This movie had it all - it was one of the BEST films in every aspect. Never a dull moment. Never a scene that should have been left on the cutting room floor. The best! 10/10

Making up for lost time..., 17 November 2002
8/10

The first time I saw this movie I was overwhelmed with relief - relief that the immaturity of Episode 1 was gone. This movie feels much more on par with the rest of the star wars series. I prefer this one over ROTJ, but not close to episodes IV or V. Overall, the feel of Episode II is much darker and colder. Some of the scenes have an almost sterile feel to them. The script writing is not as strong as the first 3, but a vast improvement over 1.

It seemed a little busy, story-wise. Had they not wasted much of Episode 1, this movie may have flowed a little better. I had the feeling they were making up for the story they didn't tell in TPM. Instead they were busy showing pod races and jar-jar. Hopefully episode 3 will have a better pace. Everything considered, I thought this was a good movie that elevated the series closer to it's original intent. Definitely NOT a good movie for a non star wars fan. 8/10

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Probably good if you're under 25., 17 November 2002
3/10

My girlfriend got me to watch this one. What can I say. I don't know that any of the premise would be considered new terrain. Maybe good for kids who haven't seen much in the ways of movie-making. The few points in the movie that attempted drama were completely unconvincing. Both in acting and in context.

So much to like, so much to hate., 17 November 2002
7/10

Often they were the same. The music was both appropriate and irritating. This was one of the only movies that almost drove me from the theater. I almost left 15 minutes into the movie. It's grating, loud, incoherent, abstract, and depressing. The protagonist (sandler) is so psychotic that it's really hard to feel for him in any way. I found the audience was laughing at the moments I found most disturbing. Maybe I didn't get the humor, but my honest impression is that there was no humor intended. I think that people were expecting a laugh and grabbing the first available moment to do so. The strangest thing about this terrible movie... ...I think I liked it. 7/10