Reviews written by registered user
sqeaston9

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36 reviews in total 
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6 out of 27 people found the following review useful:
A mixed bag, 23 August 2014
5/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

*** This review will be full of spoilers *** The episode started badly with a dinosaur as tall as Elizabeth's Tower, which is more commonly and incorrectly known as Big Ben. That would have made the creature almost 100m tall, and a dinosaur that tall has never existed. It reminded me of the promotional poster of the original King Kong, in which he's depicted holding a woman as tall as a skyscraper.

Then we have some scenes with Clara talking to Madam Vastra, Jenny Flint and Strax. It's mostly uninteresting and at times Strax appears to be a total moron, particularly during his medical examination of Clara. Then The Doctor rides off on a horse.

At this point I was very unhappy, but then we moved onto the restaurant scene, the cyborg and the robots. Nice and creepy, good ideas, the things that Steven Moffat does best.

I understand that Moffat wants to keep it a kiddie friendly show, but IMO he overdid it here. Another Doctor that says Geronimo, really? However I must end on the most positive note of the episode, Peter Capaldi is excellent. No disrespect to Chris, David or Matt, but Peter looks like the Nu Who Doctor I wanted. I hold onto the hope that good writing will allow him to deliver some classics.

"Defiance" (2013)
44 out of 78 people found the following review useful:
Great cast and production values wasted, 3 May 2013
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The main character is the sheriff in a ravaged post apocalyptic town with a rebellious alien adopted daughter. There's an honourable, female mayor (love interest, I have no doubt), an alien gangster, a bigoted (against aliens) human mine owner, the gangster's son and the mine owner's daughter who love each other. The token black guy in this one is the deputy.

In the series, the sheriff heroically solves the problem of the week.

I don't have a problem with the actors, I'm fine with the special effects and production values, but it's the same formula that the Sci Fi channel churns out over and over again. Same character dynamic, same plot, same everything. I wish those in charge would read a few decent books by good authors for a change and try to do something with them. Seemed to work OK with Game of Thrones. I'm not saying they need that level of production values or number of characters. But something new and interesting for a change, please.

No more Sci Fi law enforcement officers would be a start, as would a few characters with a bit of depth. And don't be afraid to kill some of them, break the rut you've fallen into. Have some pride in your writing.

9 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
Why?, 8 May 2012
1/10

So here we have quite probably the most despised celebrity in the UK interviewing a selection of other celebrities who on the most part no one else is interested in interviewing.

In some cases I don't understand why these people have agreed to be interviewed by this man in the first place, but in many they are just attention whores or interested in making a quick buck.

Piers' "confrontational" style isn't about finding the person behind the public facade, it's about asking rude, crass and stupid questions in a failed attempt to create sensationalist TV.

Ironically about the only person I'd feel comfortable watching Piers Morgan being this obnoxious to is Piers Morgan himself. I'd love to watch an AI version of himself asking the real Piers Morgan these kinds of questions and laugh as he walked out halfway through the interview.

Catwoman (2004)
2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Not totally awful....., 11 January 2012
4/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I finally watched this movie last night and found it poor rather then completely awful. I certainly can't understand all the ratings of 1 and 10 here since this obviously doesn't deserve either rating.

Some praise/criticise this for being camp. Well it is a bit, but it's no Rocky Horror Picture Show or 60s Batman.

This is a movie that doesn't do anything particularly well, but is brought down by doing some things particularly badly. For me the vocals on the soundtrack is the worst aspect of this movie, rather than sing the vocalist makes annoying moaning noises that at times sound like she's either in pain or having an orgasm.

Star Trek (2009)
2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Terrible plot undermines what was otherwise good, 4 January 2012
6/10

So Star Trek returns with it's most visually stunning outing to date. This movie looks great, with very nice sets, special effects, costumes and action set pieces.

Similarly, the casting is very good. Quinto is just perfect as Spock, and I found the choices made for the other characters fine as well. This was one of my biggest concerns for this reboot, so bravo! The story effectively creates a new reality for our characters, a major catastrophe means that this is effectively a different universe to Star Trek:TOS. I think this was probably for the best, freeing the writers from the constraints of the existing storyline. I know that many viewers object to this thinking it somehow invalidates other existing Star Trek franchises. It doesn't because it's a different reality. ST:TOS, TNG, DS9 and Voyager are real in their own universe and are as valid as ever.

But where the movie really falls down is the plot. There are many plot holes, ridiculous coincidences and incomprehensible decisions made by the characters. It seemed like the plot was simply created to string together the action set pieces regardless of how stupid it turned out. I can understand this being an action orientated movie, but I couldn't help but find myself regularly shaking my head at what I was seeing.

The plot is so poor it reduces what would have been 10/10 for a 'Wrath of Khan' quality plot to a mediocre 6/10. Please, more of the same for the next movie but write a decent story, or at least one that makes logical sense. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

Signs (2002)
5 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Illogical, amoral crap, 17 December 2011
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The biggest problem with the movie is how ridiculous the plot is, but since this is more of a 'man regains his faith' movie than one about alien invasion I'm going to cover my thoughts on that here.

*** Spoilers Follow ***

So Mel plays a priest who's struggling with his faith because his wife died in a nasty accident some years earlier. God did this to HIM therefore his faith has wavered, children being murdered in Nazi death camps is absolutely fine. Then some silly plot devices happen that allow him and his family to survive and he finds his faith again. Once again it's all about HIM, screw everyone else. I find this way of thinking morally repugnant.

There is no internal logic to this movie. We never get to understand why aliens with the technology to travel to our planet are retards. Read some of the other reviews of this movie if you need elaboration. These aliens make the ones in Battlefield Earth look intelligent.

I hate this movie, and only the cinematography and acting raise this to a rating of 2/10.

4 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
The oldest profession, 13 June 2011
1/10

Once upon a time there were The Spice Girls. They introduced us to 'girl power', a thinly disguised effort to use sex to sell manufactured pop music, potato chips and fizzy drinks to little kids and morons. And then there was this travesty of a movie.

This is very much like other exploitation movies made to cash in on popular music groups in the past, but with all the good elements removed. There is nothing redeemable about this whatsoever, it's pure trash, and since the 'music' of The Spice Girls has no longevity neither does this.

If you want to pick this up along with the girl's entire back catalogue of CDs, I recommend checking out the bargain bins in charity shops. You shouldn't have a problem finding it all, and then at least something positive will have come out of this.

1 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
A strong start for Season 6, Moffat at his best, 25 April 2011
10/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

For me this is one of the best Doctor Who episodes since it's relaunch. From the start it's intriguing, humorous and creepy. Such great writing.

*** Spoilers follow *** I loved how sublime some of it was, particularly the way this Doctor is so manipulative. It seemed to me his messing up while operating the Tardis was him testing River Song to ensure she could operate the view screen through the invisibility cloak. And his line to Conrad "on no accounts follow me, close the door after you" was both funny and informative. Not to mention his Mrs Robinson codename for River Song.

The aliens are original, mysterious and creepy, having the ability to edit memory. Great stuff.

There are a few common threads to Moffat's writing, such as children and figures in spacesuits. But while he delivers scripts like this, I have no problem with it.

I wonder how they intend to get around the fact that it is Matt Smith's Doctor that is dying, I assume the series will continue after his departure (long may he stay). This could be a writing glitch like the one where River Song meets David Tennant's Doctor. It should have been patently obvious to her from early on that this was an earlier incarnation of the Doctor than the one she knew, making some of her questions moronic. Assuming he knew Tennant was leaving shortly (which perhaps he didn't), as script editor Davies should have picked up on and corrected this.

And final mentions to the cast, who were all excellent, and the crew, this episode looked great.

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Incoherent gore flick with teleporting zombies, 16 April 2011
3/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

The good things about this movie are some of the gore effects and some of the sets. There are scenes in this movie which look pretty good, especially considering when it was made.

Unfortunately, that's where the good news ends. Much of the movie is boring, the acting is bad, and you never get to really care about the characters. But the worst things of all are the plot and editing. Very little makes any sense, zombies teleport around randomly, and seem to like staring at their victims as much as attacking them. For example there's a scene near the end where a zombie is shuffling towards the protagonists, and then suddenly they all change position and it's behind one of them. Weird. This movie is full of strange continuity errors like this.

Recommended to gore-hounds only.

5 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Very poor adaptation, zero credibility, 9 February 2011
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

With a quality cast I had high expectations for this TV movie. Unfortunately it was the worst BBC adaptation I've seen in years.

*** Spoilers follow *** Initially, the movie just seemed to be really low budget and dull, with very poor dialogue. It was only when it first moved to a scene that wasn't set in a small room that I realised just how awful this was going to be. It showed the space capsule that had returned perched on top of a mound of earth, rather than being embedded into it in any way. There appeared to be no parachute, which raised the question of how the astronauts were expected to survive the impact in the first place.

Characters then started to say and do really stupid things. The most extreme example of this was when they held a press conference leaving a nurse alone with the sole surviving astronaut. They heard her scream, rushed to the scene to find that he'd escaped. They then just decided he'd escaped and debated over whether to alert the press to help recovering him. Just how far could he have got in one minute? Where was security? So they then learn from his blood that he's been infected by some kind of alien, and is going to produce spores that'll destroy all life on Earth within hours. How do organic spores travel faster than the speed of sound? The ending is also stupid and annoying, but I've said enough about this already. Unless you enjoy being treated like an idiot by fools then avoid this. 2/10.


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