Reviews written by registered user
freakfire-1

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239 reviews in total 
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0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Ian McKellen: Go back to LOTR, 1 October 2008
1/10

What in horrible hell was this? I was expecting some disappointment, but this was beyond the pale. We have some magic and some evil 'churchmen' who run a state, which is a vague reference to the Vatican I guess, but it was pure suck the life out of you.

You, the audience member, are left there wondering why do the people fighting turn into dust when they are killed? This isn't like any other fantasy film or TV show when somebody dies, there is a body.

The compass wasn't any better. They are fighting over a compass, that seems important, but is far less believable than the one Captain Jack Sparrow carries in the 'Pirates' trilogy.

The only good battle was the one with the polar bears, Ian McKellen playing as one of those bears. But short of McKellen actually dressing up in a real costume looking like a bear, this wasn't going to work.

Overall, truly a piece of crap. "F"

2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Joey Travolta and "The Last Game", 1 October 2008
1/10

Wow, it appears the 'talent gene' didn't quite make it to Joey Travolta, but instead went to John Travolta. But thats OK, you don't need much talent to do crap movies like this one.

This film was certainly cheap in all aspects. Focused around a girl and her fear while playing basketball, it doesn't take long before Joey "The Cop" Travolta brings into action from (literally) the doughnut shop.

Everything about this movie didn't quite wash. The basketball games, the cop chase that included a swim. None of it made any sense and it wasn't even funny in a good way.

Sorry Joey, better luck being an Overnight Manager at Whataburger. "F

3 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Sigh., 1 October 2008
2/10

The animation was the only thing that made this fail to reach the "F" level. Really, was this all the producers and writers had? What about acting talent? I am stumped.

It seems that everybody wants to get in on the legend of the Lock Ness Monster. This movie puts a different spin on it featuring a small boy and finding a strange egg. I guess it scores slight originality points with the asexual monster in the lake, but thats about it.

Watching this was painful. The characters don't really develop and have trouble relating to one another after the discovery of the monster. Combined with the defense of Scotland during WWII and you have an uninteresting plot.

Really, please make better 'waterhorse' films if another one is ever planned. "D-"

Jumper (2008)
Samuel L. Jackson is here again, 1 October 2008
7/10

Samuel L. Jackson can't stop making films. So, to help out Hayden Christensen after his Star Wars role, he enters this film. And I can say, its not a bad movie. As a matter of fact, it seems all too Christensen.

People with a special power of thinking of one place and jumping to it. It can remind people of the "Force" used by Jedi and Sith in the Star Wars galaxy. But its different. There, the lines are to steal to make good versus to keep order in the galaxy. Or is it the same thing?

The visuals are impressive. Going from Japan, to Rome, to Egypt, to other places was rather nice. And while the ending wasn't as climatic as I thought it would be, it still had that going for it.

Overall, a good movie. "B"

Stealing from bears and Bill Cosby, 1 October 2008
6/10

Bruce Willis? In an animated movie? Once you get over that, it turns out to be OK. Sure, Shatner is in it too. But I can see Shatner as a furry animal. Not so much Bruce Willis.

However, it turns out to be rather good. Willis voices RJ, a raccoon who steals from a bear. And everybody else suffers from his plan at paying the bear back.

Of course, Willis learns his lesson and wants to be good and is the common mantra of almost every kid movie out there. Still it works and it makes this movie watchable.

I wish there was more Shatner, but I can make due. So overall: "B-"

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Cage isn't bad here either, 1 October 2008
6/10

Sometimes animated movies can surprise you. And this was one of those movies. While it did not wow me, it did have a nice storyline and good voicing talent and that was good enough.

Cage and Roberts play two ants. The thought of those two as ants at first seemed funny. But since they made them human, everything turned out alright. Enter actual conflict with other insects and it makes for a descent film.

The concept, however, has been used before. Animals/insects/aliens being threatened by humans is all too familiar. But it gets over such a thing with making it similar to Western English Europeans dealing Native American Indians to a small extent and that familiarize the audience with the conflict between ant and boy.

Overall, not bad. "B-"

8 out of 65 people found the following review useful:
Jodi Benson is at it again, 1 October 2008
1/10

Jodi Benson, we hardly want to know you anymore. Can you do any movie role EXCEPT Little Mermaid? One is just very curious if you just can't let go. Or maybe Disney Studios can't let go. Whatever the case, this needs to stop.

Ariel is back with a prequel. OK, first I don't really care where Ariel comes from anymore. This should have been covered in the original classic Little Mermaid. But no, we have to wait 15 years later just to give Jodi Benson another job. A job we don't know if she wanted.

The whole film is about the death of Ariel's mother and the subsequent return to music to the underwater kingdom. You can fill in the rest. No conflict, no character development. And nobody really cares anymore.

I want 80 minutes of my life back. "F"

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Was well worth my time, 1 October 2008
8/10

I didn't watch this movie because of the book or Tommy Lee Jones. In fact, I don't know why exactly that I watched such a movie. But after it was over I knew I enjoyed the viewing.

What made this whole movie was Javier Bardem's character. He is just one of the best psychotic killers I have ever seen. The air tank to punch open locks on doors and the giant silencer on his shotgun just shot him up to mythic proportions.

Javier also had a strange Two-Face character in him. Sometimes deciding who lives and dies via a coin. What happens at the end with his character was also a shock, since I did not read the book or see any spoilers Tommy Lee Joes seemed like a 2nd rate character throughout much of the movie. Josh Brolin's character had a much more prominent role than Jones's and so did Bardem's.

Overall, its very likable. "A-"

Meatballs (1979)
4 out of 9 people found the following review useful:
Just plain awful, 1 October 2008
1/10

This might be for those who have been to summer camps, but it sure isn't an entertaining camp. I went to one before, but it didn't make me scream up and down for joy. Instead, it made my head hurt.

The first thing you notice is that Bill Murray actually had some hair in the 70s. Yeah, and he also didn't mind running some. But to get him to run a lot, you would need to give him a woman to chase after.

Its not that some of the stunts can't be funny. For example the running joke with one of the councilors who is always waking up somewhere else due to the movement of his bed. Instead, its that the jokes and stunts were poorly setup and executed. It just failed to be funny.

To somebody who loves comedy, this is a pain. Others are glued to it for life. I wish it was more like Leonard Part 6, but it doesn't come close. "F"

6 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
If only you had a chance with a girl's cousin, 1 October 2008
6/10

Maybe this is every man's dream? To have a one night drunken fling with your fiancé's cousin? Or so you think. Turns out, it becomes a headache to keep it concealed for long.

Enter panties left at the scene of the crime and everything just snowballs. From enraged police officers to wearing a wire for the FBI to bust such an officer, the movie takes one problem and turns it into multiple ones for the main character.

Like many 90s films of this genre, however, this one also has a happy ending. Sort of. But this one is unique that it has two love triangles in one. But I guess I am happy everybody else was happy.

Overall, the laughs were fairly good. So if you have a little time to kill, this will do the trick. "C+"


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