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The Grudge 3 (2009)
This 'Grudge' Has Got Tiresome...
As a fan of "Ju-On" and the 2004 remake―starring "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" actress Sarah Michelle Gellar―I had high hopes for this third installment. I mean, after the abysmal 2006 sequel, it couldn't get any worse, right? Wrong. Granted not as tedious and insipid as the sequel, this 2009 follow-up starring actress Shawnee Smith still leaves a bitter taste in the mouth.
Where to start... ?
Director Toby Wilkins tries to duplicate the eeriness and unpleasantness of the first movie, but sadly, fails miserably. With half-hearted acting, bad special effects, and a tiresome plot, the movie never picks up or satisfies. Whilst watching the movie, I realized the overall story of the franchise has never evolved; or more to the point, no one has tried to take a fresh approach. Much like the sequel, the third stab is a series of flat, horror-lacking murder sequences, and what makes this even worse is, we already know what's coming. Scene after scene after scene, the previous formula is recycled. We hear the now trademark 'Grudge' sound, we hear a small boy running, we hear the cry of a cat ― and that's pretty much it. There is only so many times you can show a pale-faced, dark haired Japanese woman with her dead son and their dead cat, until it's just not scary anymore. The franchise needs new ideas. We need new stories and new locations. Otherwise, this 'Grudge' is going to be on a constant loop.
My advice, stick with the original or the 2004 remake. There's nothing you haven't seen before here.
One thing I will say is, I'm surprised this movie is getting the direct-to-DVD treatment and the second one had theater status. Although both are severely mediocre, IMO, I wasn't left completely catatonic after watching the third.
Prom Night (2008)
Take it for what it is!
So, before I begin, one thing I really need to stress.
To all the bad reviews on here with "high hopes" or "expectations" ....... The movie is called Prom Night, what did you expect?
Yes, the movie is unbelievably cliché, yes, the characters are your typical teen/horror movie characters, but again -- the movie is called Prom Night.
I'm tired of listening to folk whine about how upset they are that movies like Prom Night turn out with the aspects I stated above.
Your teen slasher is always |ALWAYS| going to turn out like this. Sure, some will be better than others, but when it comes down to it, they're all the same. Centers on the girl, her friends get slaughtered because the "stalker" wants to get close to her, the cops try save her, she almost dies, they shoot, stab or set him on fire -- the end.
Now, Prom Night wasn't the best I've seen from this genre, not even half-way, but, there were a good few scares here and there that I will admit to gasping too.
The main problem with this movie was, the usual story (I stated above^) was too obvious, even for a movie like this. She looks in the mirror, he's there, she turns - he's not there. The friend has an argument with her boyfriend, she goes up-stairs to chill = killing time.
The biggest thing that got to me was the choices these teens made, for instance.
The Prom is held at a well-off, beautiful hotel. Towards the end of the movie, the cops take over and tell everyone to leave - so you leave, right? No.
The automated voice is talking over the loud speaker: "Emergency, please leave the building" (repeated over and over). So, what does the girl do?
"Oh I forgot my moms shawl, it's up-stairs" of course, because that's the first thing you worry about, naturally.
There are about one hundred of those "shawl" moments in this movie that it just gets you thinking, it's now 2008, can't they come up with anything better?
Now, I'm not gonna take a pop at the actors, because their acting was good, but with this material, there's only so much you can do.
Go into this movie the way I went into it. I expected the expected, and I was right.
Don't go into a slasher movie titled, "Prom Night" thinking you're gonna get a stunning piece of film.
It's just not common logic.
The Simple Life (2003)
A great show......when you don't read into it.
Everyone has their opinions on this show. You either love it or hate it. Personally, I love it. It's a piece of harmless fun. A funny show with exaggerated concepts and unrealistic motives. But lovable all the same. If you take The Simple Life as simply just fun, then it's a great show. If you read into it, and examine every single aspect, it's not so great.
When it comes down to it, The Simple Life is fake. They want you to believe these girls (Paris Hilton & Nicole Richie), have been stripped of everything that's important to them (money, credit cards, cell phones etc...)When in fact that's not the case. When you see pictures of them and the title reads "On set of The Simple Life" - that pretty much says it all. It's not supposed to be set up, it's supposed to be real. Is it scripted? Of course. Should it be, given the description of the show? No, it shouldn't.
The BIGGEST thing that gives this away is the editing. It's awful. Throughout the course of the season, you see the girls wearing the exact same outfits, hairstyles, looking exactly the same as previous episodes. And something tells me Paris & Nicole don't wear the exact same thing (EXACT TO A T), as previous weeks ago. It's so obvious none of it is real. So, I guess if you notice this, then yeah.. it's a fake show. Not reality.
When they say at the end of the finale "Yeah! We did it." They want you to believe they survived a month without their beloved credit cards, when really the truth is "Yeah, we finished filming."
One of the best movies I have seen in a long while!
Where to begin on how much I enjoyed, loved this movie! When I purchased "Hatchet", I thought I was in for like a Texas chainsaw, House of wax type movie. I couldn't have been more wrong - turns out that was an excellent surprise. As I watched more, I realised the movie was more of a spoof/horror. Now don't go thinking this is like "Scary Movie", etc.. It's not. When it's time for the horror - it's horror, bloody scary and provides many scream out loud moments. But in between those excellent, sick, gory scenes - there is humour, a lot - and it's brilliant. Many people complained the movie had "typical horror characters". The dumb blonde, the bitchy brunette, the nerd etc.., when they don't realise that was the intention. The characters poke fun out of the ridiculous, sometimes stupid things your typical horror characters do and say. Like, why would you walk to the killers house if you know he's in there?. Why would you stand and scream for like a minute, giving the killer a chance to hack you off, instead of bolting the second you saw him?. And so on. This movie is now one of my top 10 horrors ever! People ask why? it's a spoof. Yes, but a totally different kind. As I explained before. When the horror scenes hit, it's real, grisly, shocking horror at it's best. You wanna block out the sound and close your eyes because of the terrifying death scenes you are seeing. Then the humour comes around, making you laugh at these stereotypical characters.
Don't listen to the bad reviews. This is indeed a horror movie. Just a different kind. It's a spoof/horror, but different to what you're used to seeing.
The movie kicks ass and is truly a great DVD to add to your scare collection. I was talking about the movie for weeks. GET IT NOW!
House of Wax (2005)
It will surpass the original. But really it's nothing special.
The "House Of Wax" remake did indeed surpass the original. The overall story and atmosphere was captured better in this flick than the Vincent Price take. But it's really nothing to shout about. Even though It's semi-entertaining throughout, It's still one of those teen, cliché slasher horrors. Your typical run of the mill stalk and slash. While the idea never gets boring (if it's done right), "House Of Wax" manages to borrow every single cliché moment in modern horror. What horror movie doesn't these days?
The story is very simple. 19/20 year olds are driving trying to get to a big football game. They stop and camp out in the woods - the terror begins. The only thing that makes this semi different to, lets say "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, "Wrong Turn" etc.., is the Wax storyline. Which was so/so interesting. The House Of Wax itself was surprisingly well done. I do give them props for that. However, the overall story surrounding the picture was beyond mediocre. Why do these horror filmmakers always have to have the "deformed" storyline. Seriously. We have it in every damn horror movie. The boy was disfigured, he hid out in his room, his parents neglected him, yada, yada, yada - you see where I'm going with this. Can they never come up with anything new. Maybe he was a woman first, no? Anything but that damn disfigured story.
The course of the movie runs pretty well. I mean, I never nodded off to sleep. But there were some moments that were just too predictable. So usual horrorish. The newer horror movies should have more story, more surprises up their sleeve. Unfourtunetly "House Of Wax" could be any late 80's horror movie - minus the bad effects. One thing I will say is, the acting was pretty damn good. I mean, most of the "teens" could act. Elisha Cuthbert and Jared Padalecki were the highlights of this movie for me (on the acting aspect). Elisha has a great versatile approach about her. She can go from the typical blonde cute girl, to a more stripped down character with depth. In her scared, tense, scenes, she was really believable. Jared is just an all round great, talented actor. If you're a fan of his TV show "Supernatural" (amazing show) you will already be aware of his acting chops. His acting is just so unique - like he's not even acting. It's like he is this character.Jared (IMO) should have been the leading male. Instead they gave it to One Tree Hill actor Chad Michael Murray - who played the role of the "bad boy" well. Towards the end of the movie he showed a different side to his brooding, bad boy character. It showed he had depth. Good character development. Then we get to the Oscar winning actress that is Paris Hilton. You know what, I'm not even gonna lie. I feel Paris did okay in the movie. Her performance wasn't catastrophically bad. I mean ,she was just the dumb blonde - so she was basically playing herself. Props to her for her big "death scene" though. She did a good job.
THE END: Well, it was a tad far fetched. You expect us to believe the whole house was made of pure wax. Come on? SCRIPT ERROR. Though the fact the whole house was made of wax is fairly stupid - the visual aspect of the ending was amazingly done. Big highlight of the movie.
All in all "House Of Wax" is a successful American horror remake. It did what it was supposed to do - entertain for an hour and a half. It's an above average slasher flick. Even though it has some plot holes and minor script flaws, I would still recommend it.
Rob Zombie is the director. Need I say more?
I knew this "remake" was never going to surpass the original. I mean, I'm all for remaking classics. Sometimes the remakes come off better. But Rob Zombie should have known from the get go, you can't remake Halloween - you just can't. It's impossible. The film is a horror classic and will remain one for centuries. He could have however, tried and made a decent attempt, but he didn't even succeed in that. This "Halloween 2007" is in one word: Insulting.
Yes. Ineed it is, insulting to the original. Pathetic even. Rob Zombie (The Devils Rejects) turned "Halloween" into another one of his trashy, sexed up, so called "horror movies." It could have been anyone else. Why, god why did it have to be Zombie? The cast mostly consisted of "The Devils Rejects" Z listers (he tends to do that in a lot of his films - why I don't know! These actors are nothing to brag about) The acting was appalling - terrible. The movie ran at a snails pace. The first 40 minutes of the movie is about little Michael, just before he kills his family. Rob tries to connect with the audience, giving us reasons why Michael is so bad. Why he is so twisted and evil. Why he makes these horrific decisions. Almost asking for sympathy. What Zombie doesn't realise is, what makes Michael tick isn't all that interesting. There is no need to know. It's much scarier that the reason Michael likes to kill is because - he enjoys it. He loves it. This is terrifying! This is what made the original work. He was always named "The Boogeyman". Pure evil. No soul. No heart. All he wanted to do was kill. Zombie's version is basically saying Michael kills because he had a terrible childhood. That's not scary. Doing this made (2007's Michael) your average, bland horror killer. Michael Myers does not have a conscious. He doesn't have a soul. He is PURE evil.
Rob claims his version isn't a remake, it's simply his take - yeah right. After the boring 40 minutes about Michael, the rest is basically the original jammed into the remaining 50 minutes. He focused so much on Michaels back story that he actually forgot he was in fact shooting "a remake." He failed on all accounts. There was no tension, no suspense, no fear. It's just a pointless remake. In the first movie you got the impression Michaels parents, sister and living life was pretty normal. His parents appeared to be sophisticated, sensible - normal parents. What did Rob do? he managed to turn Michael's living life into a trailer trash show. Like something from The Jerry Springer Show, and of course he had to make Michaels sister a total slut. "Laurie" was another issue. In her first 2 minutes on screen she manages to display a sex joke. Do we all remember Jamie Lee as Laurie? Very virgin like. Not Rob's version, but that's no surprise - his idea of horror is "The Devils Rejects." He has no intention of character development. Another ridiculous scene was Michaels "Escape scene"/ Sex Scene. Yep, you guessed it! Rob found some way to turn Michael's escape scene into a short porn preview. Are you surprised? Probably not if you've seen his other "projects". As usual with Zombie, the word "F-u-c-k" must have been said 123,000 times in this movie. God forbid Rob do a horror movie with no sex or sex dialogue.
All in all "Halloween 2007" is disastrous. I dreaded the day Halloween was going to be remade, but I never thought it would lay in the hands of Zombie. There are two types of horror movie. One is the original Halloween. A movie based on pure suspense and real terror. The second, a filthy horror/porn session that basically sums up what Zombie is about as far as directing goes - your direction was abysmal. You managed to turn a well respected, classic horror movie into another one of your filthy, trashy B type horror's. I really hope the rumours of Zombie doing the "Friday The 13th" remake are false. I don't think I could stomach it.
Urban Legends: Bloody Mary (2005)
Possibly the worst movie I have ever seen.
God. I don't know where to begin with this one. "Urban Legends: Bloody Mary" has to be one of the worst horror movies I have ever seen. Definitely a top 10 contender. Here we have the third instalment of the Urban Legend franchise, this time changing it up (yeah, such a smart idea). Instead of the UL usual stalk and slash story's, this time they're brining a supernatural aspect. To be more specific, Bloody Mary. Thrilled? I think not. When the movie ended, I was kind of lost for words. I was a big fan of the original. With it's smart script, great setting, talented cast and more than enough scares, it was an instant classic. The second addition "Urban Legend: Final Cut" was nowhere near up to the standards of the first, but it was entertaining enough and a decent sequel. This however is catastrophic. This was only made for the sake of having a trilogy.
The movie has so many flaws and plot holes, it's just too hard to name them all. I would also suffer a severe head pain actually trying to go through the movie again - it sounds terrifying just thinking about it - but for all the wrong reasons. If I had to pick one thing that stood out the worst, it would have to be the story. Bloody Mary?, come on, give me a break. Seriously. The third Urban Legend should have been a slasher, fright fest. Going back to the true, original style of the first. Though, I know it would have never measured up to it's first, I would have probably respected it a lot more. The story is just lazy. It lacks any real spark. It's like they read one of the most boring takes on the several Bloody Mary stories, and turned it into a film.
The second flaw would have to be, yep, you guessed it, the terrific acting. Man was it bad. Every single "actor" was bad. When I say everyone - I mean everyone! Not one of these Z listers has a decent shred of good acting abilities in them. This made the film appear cheap and unprofessional. All I wanna know is, who did the horrific casting job? They should be fired! All in all this film was more than below average. More so in fact that it doesn't even deserve 1 star. It's a terrible piece of film and should be avoided at all costs!
The Grudge 2 (2006)
Please hold my lines up higher so I can see.
Before I review, please listen to all the bad reviews. I usually don't, but this is an exception. The Grudge 2 doesn't even deserve a 4.6/10 rating - that's being way too generous! Being a fan of the first (the remake), I really can't believe this sequel. It nearly drove me into an unconscious sleep. I couldn't believe my eyes. This had to be a joke, right? There's no way THIS was the follow up to the 2004 hit starring Sarah Michelle Gellar.
The movie is down right awful and doesn't even deserve 1 star. The film consists of lame, cliché scare tactics, used in modern Hollywood horror. In the first movie, you only caught glimpses of the "black haired, lady", and when you did see her, you were terrified. But this? You see her everywhere, to the point it gets extremely ridiculous. They used the same scares over and over again, throughout this too long (1 hour and 40 minutes) movie. I swear, I felt as though the film had been on for a full day - it's that draining. You feel tired after watching. Drained. They should use The Grudge 2 in sleep clinics.
They took away the "house" idea, instead the curse seems to be everywhere. Effecting breakfast meals and your casual craving for milk (watch the movie, you will understand). There is only so many times you can use the image of a Japanese woman and her son with his very annoying cat, until it's just not scary anymore. The acting was shockingly bad, apart form the wonderful Sarah Michelle Gellar, who I applaud for only appearing in this tripe for 9 minutes. The female lead was too boring. You didn't care about her. She had no charisma. The male lead was even worse. He looked as though he was reading his lines off of the females forehead - laughable performance.
My advice? Run while you still can. You don't have to be tortured. Feel sorry for us that were.
"They want what they don't have anymore - they want life"
I saw the incredibly creepy tailer for "Pulse" while at the movies, and couldn't wait to see it. The cinematography was stunning and the film itself looked very interesting. It wasn't just your average horror. This was end of the world (evacuate your homes) horror! So did the movie live up to it's 2 minute trailer? - indeed it did. "Pulse" was one of the scariest movies of 2007.
Some will probably pass this by, targeting it as "Another Japanese remake." I understand why. Though I'm a fan of "The Grudge", "The Ring", etc.. The idea does get some what tiresome. More and more of these popular Japanese stories, legends are being remade for American audiences. Some say there is no need. They look at it the same way as remaking a cult classic such as "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre." - Why bother? Others on the other hand (myself) think remaking cult classics & popular Japanese movies is a great idea. A lot of people today will not watch Japanese films - simply because of the subtitles. Many won't watch old horror movies because they feel it's too dated. So I think bringing those great stories back to the silver screen is a great idea. Whether they do any justice to the original - that's a different story.
"Pulse" (In my opinion) is one of the better Japanese remakes. But sadly the film received mostly negative reviews. The thing I realised was, most people weren't targeting the actual movie, it was like I said before. They were bored of the whole Japanese thing. So It was very overlooked. If it had been released before "The Ring", or "The Grudge" - the rating and reviews would have been a lot higher.
The movie is very different from it's other contenders. Some will be happy to hear the movie doesn't feature a little girl/woman with long black hair and bulging red eyes. It's also not based on a curse. The evil was hatched from a virus in a computer. It unleashed these powerful, nightmare monsters, abeling them to get you through your phones, lap tops, wi-fi etc.. Things that we use in our ever day lives.
The monsters are very different - they're normal people. Only they're body's have been drained. They drain everything that makes you, you. So all you wanna do is die. Then you become "one of them." The monsters are very haunting. They are genuinely frightening. There's no lurking in the shadows, spying on you. When they want you - they're gonna get you.
Kristen Belle plays the lead female "Maddie". A young girl in college, who suddenly starts to realise somethings going on. Kristen is a great actress and she showed a whole different side of herself on here. When your a star of your own TV show (Veronica Mars) it's difficult to break that mold. To not be the same character everyone knows you for. To appear as someone else. Kristen did an amazing job. Her acting is very genuine. Very real. She brings real emotion and character to this movie - plus she can scream in almost 10 different ways. The rest of the cast all did a superb job. Especially the talented singer/actress "Christina Milian" - she surprised me in this movie. She's very natural and has a great screen presence.
All in all "Pulse" is a top notch horror flick. Great script, great acting, great CGI, great suspense - the list goes on.
If you want to be truly scared. Put down "The Ring" and snatch "Pulse" - you wont be disappointed!
The House on Sorority Row (1983)
A terrible, horrendous HORROR CLASSIC!
First, whoever was quoted saying "In the style of Halloween" was clearly stupid, because this is in no way in the style of Halloween.
Okay - lets get this straight.
The House On Sorority Row is indeed a cheap, bad slasher/horror movie, but it knows this and understands where it stands. Everything is bad! The special effects (If you can call it that), the plot, and of course, the worse thing of all - the so called "acting". But It's so bad, that you find yourself actually liking it, a guilty pleasure if you will. One of those films you watch when you wanna get a good old laugh with your friends on a Friday night watching a bunch of DVD's.
The plot is fairly simple. There is a big old Sorority house. The girls hate the house mother. They play a prank on her. It goes wrong. They try to cover it up. Then suddenly body's start to pile up - that's basically the whole movie.
There are so many laughable moments in the movie - it's too funny for words. For instance. The house mother - I don't know the actress who plays her, but it's not even her voice in the movie. She is lip syncing to someone else's voice, and poorly I might add. Also, one of the sorority girls "Morgan" who I can only assume slept with the director to get the part, is indeed the most terrible actress I have ever seen on screen. Cringeworthly bad.
All in all even though The House On Sorority Row has it's flaws (big understatement) it's still a classic 80's horror flick. If you're looking for a bad horror movie with bad acting and terrible effects - this movie couldn't be more perfect.
If you want a creepy, old horror movie. Pass this one quick!!!