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Blood Song (1984)
. . . But the Oregon coast is pretty.
Hey, c'mon, when else will you ever get to see Frankie Avalon play an ax murderer? Sure, it sounds like one of the great miscasts of all time, but I can honestly say his performance is no worse than any here.
Don't get me wrong. This movie sucks. Big time. But, in all fairness, it does "boast" several, er, shall we say, points of distinction, which nobody has pointed out yet, and which (for some) may make for viewing every bit as compelling as paint drying on a crashing train.
First, this is the only movie either co-written OR co-produced by The Godfather's own Lenny Montana, who also appears as the kindly (!) fishing-boat captain. (Insert your own "sleeps-with-the-fishes" joke here.) Sadly, this was Lenny's last movie. However, with Luca Brasi as the nice guy and Frankie Avalon as the ax-wielding psychopath, I am forced to give half a point for originality.
Second, a few other familiar faces: Donna Wilkes, of "Jaws II" and "Angel" fame; Richard Jaeckel, of "Baywatch" and "The Green Slime" fame; Antoinette Bower, of "Prom Night" and "Die, Sister, Die!" fame; Jennifer Enskat, of "Blood Song" fame . . . uh, OK, never mind.
Third, and in all sincerity, this movie does feature the most intelligent line ever heard in any psycho-killer movie, or indeed any horror movie: "Why don't you guys go take a look? We'll meet you back at the car."
Sound advice. Go take a look at this movie, and I'll meet you back at the car.