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Date and Switch (2014)
30 something actors pretend to high school students in botched unfunny mess
on minute into the film I began to wonder if it was going to be like this all the way through.The dialogue is very annoying ,the writer clearly thinks he's funny but it just grates badly and pulls you out of the movie. The two main actors are ,in the grand American tradition of all people portraying high school students, clearly much older.If they made a joke about there worry lines and five o'clock shadows maybe it could have started to save this odd little movie.
The plot lifted from American pie is about losing there virginity before prom and celebrating with a marijuana cake?and that's it. nothing deep or meaningful to say about homosexuality or society just a no joke comedy with appalling dialogue.
Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
same ol' same ol'
The film is okay but absolutely nothing we haven't seen before. There's spectacular action set pieces ,quippy dialogue and peter sacrificing his personal life for the greater good. Peter Parker has girl trouble . a morbidly obese oriental friend that wont stop asking annoying questions. and tony stark patronising him, using him and then ignoring him
The only real problem i had with this average and inoffensive movie was spidey's great mistake the ferry disaster was actually stark's fault. He completely ignores parker's warning about the arms deal does not respond so our plucky hero must go it alone to stop the bad guys. The fbi show up and instead of easily taking down the villains who are unprepared they use the distraction to pull out the super weapons and slice the ferry in half.Stark called them in secret and decided not tell peter about it??then proceeds to scream at him about how its all his fault?? Stark is a dick through out this movie much worse than the actual villain who is great.
Vulture even gives a great speech about rich people not caring and using people like us to fight there wars and pave their roads and clean up the mess. Stark having completely screwed up his life and forced him into a life of crime.
its worth one watch despite the stark issues
Wonder Woman (2017)
boring boring boring
This movie goes so very slowly its like watching paint dry.
Getting used to the funny accents took a good long while, but i needn't have worried this film gives you over two hours of boredom to get used to the Israeli Amazons accents.Kind of reminded me of the Alexander movie with Colin Farrell .He still had his Irish accent playing a Macedonian so instead of getting him to change it they just made all the other Macedonian characters Irish????
Her childish belief that Ares is responsible is repeated so often we just know were being set up for a giant obvious fall when it turns out its just mankind doing what they do best.
The action at the end is entertaining but not enough to make up for and hour and a half of completely being bored rigid.This film made me wish id died in world war one so i wouldn't have to watch it.
far beyond awful
A insulting retread of previous star wars movies by a man who's main claim to fame is coming up with appalling TV shows and getting his check before people figure out they are terrible.
Another death star,another young person from a desert with no parents who needs training in the force (yet doesn't?) ,Another last ditch battle against overwhelming odds.
The new "actors" are terrible ,wooden and poorly realised. Daisy Ridley is laughable in her role. Her "character" Rey is somehow worse, she excels at absolutely everything some how? mechanic ,star ship piloting, light sabre duelling, using the force??? I started to think that it would rey training Luke when they finally found him.
And who the hell goes into hiding and leaves a map all over the galaxy of where he's gone. Nothing about this movie makes sense at all until you factor in who directed it
Alien: Covenant (2017)
Film relies on a twist that's screamingly obvious an hour before it happens
An unasked for sequel to a film no one liked . I was ready to give the film a go despite its exceptionally bland cast of xeno fodder. About half way through the movie David starts to cut his long hair off and suddenly closely resembles Walter.At this point i realized he was going to pull the old switcheroo and betray the crew in the guise of Walter. and that's exactly what happened. What this film lacks in subtlety it makes up for in being completely bleedin obvious,even to a fool.What is supposed to be a shocking twist that puts the icing on the cake of this film is the final insult the viewer cannot bare. So it manages to be even more pointless than Prometheus and keep all the pretensions. Look upon this movie and despair
My favourite show has Aged horribly
I used to watch spaced while living with an annoying friend who did not like it.I said "its a classic ,it will be well thought of for decades to come."He disagreed one of the reasons was how "NOW" it was . "This will be embarrassing to watch in a few years,"he said.
I hate it when other people are right. When you take out the dated pop culture references to the matrix,buffy, resident evil and star wars your not actually left with much.Simon pegg's "acting" in particular is embarrassingly bad. What hasn't aged and still impresses me is the camera direction and the snazzy editing .This must be why Edgar wright went on to better things. This show still shines bright in my memories if not in actual reality any more
The Producers (2005)
Beyond awful and pointless
Lets make a musical version of a comedy film about musicals. but instead of filling it with legendary songs let's put absolutely no effort into them and make them barely passable. Lets have one actor do a pointless impression of his predecessor and the other barely act act all.I felt sorry for the actors who seemed to be trying hard with an ill conceived turkey.except Matthew broderick of course Why on earth would anyone put Matthew broderick in anything?
Star Wars: Rebels: Twin Suns (2017)
A big highway to nothing
Ezra starts getting premonitions again and instead of remembering the last few times this happened ,when it was a trap set by maul,he instead goes off half cocked yet again. It's never established how he suddenly knows that his previous vague vision of twin suns is now suddenly narrowed down to tatooine?? He announces he's going there to save obi wan kenobi (how he suddenly knows his hiding place is another mystery)nobody seems to question how he knows this all this from some whispered holocron voice.Worse still nobody is surprised by what should be a stunning revelation. Its like they've all watched the star wars trilogy and were just playing dumb for dramas sake. He goes there has a few pointless adventures and meets obi wan who tells him to go as maul arrives.The two combatants then spend about two minutes staring at each other across a camp fire.After a spectacularly anti climatic one second fight scene it ends .Thank god for that
World War Z (2013)
Pointless,Dull and insulting
Another huge fan of the book wondering what the hell i just watched. why does Hollywood even bother buying the rights to other media if there just going to utterly destroy it?Why not just make an original film? is really so bankrupt of all ideas?The film has a UN employee brad Pitt travel around the world to various action set pieces for pretty much no reason only to survive a series of increasing unlikely close shaves .Until near the end he and his one handed companion walk out of a devastating plane crash with a minor wound.no else survived of course. For once the mean streets of Cardiff prove less dangerous than zombies as they make their way to the wizard castle to find a magical cure or something.....
Aliens: Colonial Marines (2013)
This game is great,critics are idiots as usual
Continues on after aliens and unlike the sequels is not a desperate terrible mess that murdered the franchise. Quite simply the game has bags of atmosphere,
just like the spooky ,claustrophobic tension of the first two films. This just feels like "aliens". When this first person shooter looks to be in danger of repeating itself it mixes it up with new monsters ,soldiers and backgrounds.The story opens with a mystery ,the abandoned ship sulaco appearing above LV 426 .A planet it supposedly left after a large nuclear detonation occurred.
This is an absolute must for fans of the films , a true sequel that you get to play