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OK, I get it...
"Ok, I get it." That's a phrase I found myself saying an awful lot during this 2 1/2 hour computer game that was as painful to the brain as it was to the eyes.
First, let's get the obvious out of the way. This film was expensive, in that it cost so much money to make you could solve at least one state's budget crisis with it. So why did it look like it was nearly all conceived on a computer? Not since the "Star Wars" prequels has the "fourth wall" ever been so demolished. Never once did I care about the characters or believe anything the actors tried to do because I knew it was completely artificial. Hell, people still complain about "Waterworld" being overpriced but at least people actually got off their duffs and did some real film shooting! This whole project stinks of imported bottled water and soy lattes. This film is the pinnacle of Hollywood overkill. An overblown, overpriced, overindulgent eyesore of a movie with a "message." Oh yes, the message. Underneath watching the latest in nerd fantasy-fulfillment with its CGI, is a liberal-minded jackhammer drilling into your psyche about the evil of American corporatism, military culture, and rich white men's greed. The noble intent of getting its audience to care about the environment is done in the LSD-esquire rainbow cornucopia of every Native American and African stereotype imaginable, all set to an "oweyo oweyo" New Age chorus that makes one actually pine for the sweet sound of the Jonas Brothers. I say this as a die-hard independent who has as much to say about environmental awareness as anyone with a college education, but the caricatures painted here border on MSNBC-levels of leftist philosophy. The bad guys are the Republican racist military and corporate oppressors, who refer to our heroes as "tree huggers" and the alien Navi as "savages," and see their violence against them as "fighting terror with terror." I'm not kidding, they actually use soundbites from the last decade as part of the script. One character actually refers to the military attacks as "shock and awe." If you don't want to heave from the vertigo-inducing sweep of the completely sterile computer-created world of Pandora, the dialog will surely get you to bending over the toilet cursing the day you ever thought this was worth even half its price tag.
See, there was a movie made very recently that dealt with valid socio-political issues that was full of interesting characters and top-notch CGI at a fraction of "Avatar's" cost. It was called "District 9" and if you haven't seen it, do so and then come tell me what you thought of "Avatar." Because the former film was able to show the evils of racism without painting its characters as one-dimensional caricatures. It showed that greed knew no color boundaries, and that you can combine action with a message and not be beaten over the head with it.
I would advise people to avoid this film, however I know that is next to impossible. This has become the new "Titanic," where seeing it is not only an option, but a requirement with some groups of people. I like to refer to those people as "STUPID."
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
My Most Hated Film
Normally I don't comment on films that I knew I wouldn't enjoy just by seeing the trailer. But I was reminded of this atrocity when I recently saw a news blurb about another installment of this franchise and remembered when I saw it for the first 5 times. I was serving in the Navy back in 2002 and our IT department ran a channel shown on the ship that shows movies. Apparently, someone thought it would be a good idea to show this film over and over.
This movie manages to be offensive on so many different levels that it boggles the mind and violates it at the same time. The plot is unoriginal and base, the dialog is poorly written and poorly delivered, the editing is like an epileptic seizure, and yet somehow it is overglossed and shined up. Kinda like a polished turd.
And as if the film wasn't just badly acted and written, it also manages to offend just about everyone with an IQ above a 10 year-old who views it. I'd say it's misogynistic, but there are no women in this movie. There are material possessions that resemble women, but when their function is to be placed on the hoods of cars for decoration, won in races, or used against other men for position, than basically you've turned once promising actresses into blow-up dolls with heartbeats. There's also plenty of racial stereotyping. Whites, Hispanics, and Asians frequently insult each other based on skin color, but hey, that's hip, yo! But I'd have to say this film is more insulting to me as a man. If you believe this movie, then all men are insecure, materialistic blowhards who are in constant competition and serve only to one-up each other. Whether who has the faster car, who can break the law more, or who can get closest to the ever elusive "menage a trois." And what's sad, is that I've seen so many trailers for films that seem to ape this MTV culture of immaturity, faux-machismo, and flash-zoom editing since that basically make this the culmination of all that is bad in films today.
I try to see the good in all movies, and if I can't, then I just say "it's not my thing, but if someone else likes it, good for them." This is the ONLY film I cannot let off the hook. It is unforgivable and I loathe its very existence.