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Total Recall (2012)
Another remake that just makes you wish you were watching the original
The previews didn't impress me at all, so I avoided this in the theaters. On a recent cross country flight, this movie was available as a choice, so what the hell! The first thing you immediately notice is that Colin Farrell is hardly a half an Arnold. The first movie had an awesome Mars setting, interesting characters, and was a lot of fun.This movie has none of that. The first movie had actual villains to root against. This movie has you looking at your watch. Watered down is an understatement when comparing movies. Had I not seen the way more memorable 1990 movie, I may have rated this slightly higher. Maybe. This version is 100% forgettable. Watch the original, or anything else, instead of this dud.
Would rather have had a Family Guy movie!
The real problems I had with Ted: 1) I've practically seen half of it in the movie trailers already, so there was very little in the way of surprises and 2) The damn bear sounds identical to Peter Griffin (and Ted even jokes about that fact.) Now, I am the biggest Family Guy fan and always get it's humor, and wonder why Seth McFarlane hasn't put the damn Fam Guy movie out yet? Don't be like the Simpsons and put out the movie long after people stopped watching the show! Ted was OK, but after watching Family Guy since 1999, it just wasn't that outrageous to me. There just wasn't anything I really guffawed at, only a few chuckles. I would rather even have had an American Dad movie than this. McFarlane did at least give many Fam Guy actors and writers parts in this movie, but, again, they would be better in a freakin' Fam Guy movie! Ted..It's worth a rental, but that's about it.
Friends with Benefits (2011)
Ehh, it was OK
Yes, I know it's a chick flick. But on a cross country flight, I had to pick something to watch on the airplane seat screen, and already saw Moneyball the first couple hours of the flight, so I gave this a try. I can't stand Justin Timberlake, and quite honestly he seems like another gay guy unsuccessfully trying to pass off as a straight guy, but Mila Kunis is still a hottie, so at least there's some eye candy. The movie is supposed to rip on romantic comedies, but quickly becomes the very thing it rips on. It gets quite predictable, and anyone in the audience could have written the ending for it. Also it's more than obvious that a few L.A. locations were trying to be passed off as New York (like the airport scenes). Overall not the worst movie ever, but pretty much forgettable.
The Love Guru (2008)
Well, it does have Daily Show alumni in it
It's an unfunny movie, what looks like another bad SNL sketch stretched into a paper thin mess. I personally never thought Mike Myers was funny, and this movie really shows it. He looks like he's uncomfortable doing his own stupid lines and jokes, as does everyone else in the film. There's a lot of dead air in the movie as well, just a lot of quiet with not much happening but silly dialogue. The penis jokes got old fast, almost as if Mike Myers has a fetish. The including of Verne Troyer was a novelty that just didn't work. In fact most things in this movie just didn't work. The couple highlights: It was nice seeing current and former Daily Show players on here (Stephen Colbert, John Oliver, and even Samantha Bee for a second), too bad none of them were given anything funny to say. The scene with Mike Myers and Kanye West together at the game was an interesting idea, but was obviously tacked on, they didn't even say anything. And um, Jessica Alba is still hot. That's about it.
Entertaining enough, if you can overlook the stupid stuff
Of course expectations were ultra high for this. I mean, hell, there hasn't been an Indy movie in 20 years, so they'd have to but their best effort behind this one, right. Ummm , not quite.
First the good points: Harrison Ford is still a good Indy, albeit an OLD and slower one. The special effects were pretty good, and the action scenes were fast paced and well done. Also, the movie runs under 2 hours so it doesn't seem like you're sitting at a never-ending time share pitch (the feeling I got watching the god-awful Speed Racer).
Now, the things I didn't like: That kid really annoyed me, as a matter of fact most of the characters other than Indy annoyed me and made me not give a rat's ass about any of them. The title skull looked really crappy. There was a lot of boring and hokey dialog. The fact that Indy's Russian nemesis and her soldiers would ALWAYS find Indy (even if he's activated traps in a tomb that would prevent anyone else from entering it). The alien encounter toward the end felt more like a 30th anniversary tribute to Spielberg's "Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind" then anything to do with this movie, and the wedding ending was just corny.
Nice revival of a favorite movie hero, but misses the mark a bit. Still it's entertaining, and certainly better than some of the other garbage passing as movies these days (did I mention Speed Racer?)
Meet the Spartans (2008)
If you have low expectations, you won't be so bummed
Now cmon. Who actually thought this would be a good movie before they went to see it? Looking at the other films Seltzer and Friedberg have made did you actually think this one would break the mold of unfunny spoof films? I didn't, but I still like to actually see the movie BEFORE I rip on it. Now that being said, I got 100% what I expected: An occasional chuckle, but mostly lame jokes that are beaten to death, bad acting, bad direction, cheap looking sets and Carmen Electra looking more and more haggard with each passing movie. Even the product placement bits weren't that funny. These guys need to go back and watch Airplane, Naked Gun, Scary Movie 1, or even Spaceballs to see how a spoof movie should be made. The cutaway jokes on Family Guy rip pop culture far more effectively and much funnier than what this movie tries to do. Though I must admit, the idea of kicking annoying celebrities into a bottomless pit is a great idea, someone should've thrown the makers of this movie in there with them.