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cypresstwist

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4 reviews in total 
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29 out of 40 people found the following review useful:
Laugh and point at a bunch of Americans, 27 May 2015
2/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is hands down the worst survival show I have started to watch. So you have these 14 guys that have absolutely no idea what they are doing. And you drop them onto this island where they bicker like teenagers until they run out of resources. Three of them struggle to kill a snake because they just have to prove to themselves that they are men. Three others try to start a fire by friction only to see a brighter one already made a fire by using his glasses. Then they decide they need to carry said fire to the beach, although they could just use the same glasses again. So they carry hot coals from the middle of the jungle when the real question was why start a fire in the forest. The scene in which they chop the snake using a machete although they have knives made me laugh. They hold the snake VERTICALLY and they hit it repeatedly with the short sword almost defacing the one that holds the dead reptile like a little girl would hold a dead umbilical cord. Then they eat it, although they HAVE enough food; they have been on the island for only a few hours, they are definitely NOT hungry and water is their main problem, not snake meat. And speaking of water, I drew great pleasure from seeing these 14 Americans mix ocean water with the last drinkable water they had, boil it and then spit it out screaming "THIS IS SALT WATER!" Three of them went to look for the beach, although all of them would have found it eventually. It took them 3-4 hours to get there, another 3-4 hours to get back into the middle of the jungle to tell the others they have found said beach, then GO BACK to the beach. Total wasted time: half a day. I face-palmed myself when the Army veteran drew a big "USA" in the sand and stood gloriously looking at the waves. No wonder the rest of the world hates the USA. The first episode concludes with the most annoying member of the group throwing up and violently convulsing at night. He must have drank the salt water or whatnot and they had to call for help and watch as he was thrown into a boat without fanfare and sailed off into the darkness. These men couldn't build a sand castle without setting it on fire and I'm pretty sure that's exactly why they have been chosen to go on that island.

Infini (2015)
43 out of 115 people found the following review useful:
Just what the heck did I just watch?, 9 May 2015
2/10

I gave this two stars. One day this man that was in his second year studying Philosophy decided he wants to become a painter, but somehow manages to get into Film School instead. He's also slightly autistic. So yeah - he made a movie called "Infini". More than half of the movie I did not understand what they were talking about. Endless scenes that should't be there bored me to death. By the end of it I was getting restless and just wanted to gouge my eyes out already. There's something really wrong about this movie. I can't put my finger on it but I think the dialog is all messed up. Words keep coming out of the actor's mouth and they are not gibberish but by the end of the phrase you have absolutely no idea what has been said, what purpose does it serve or how exactly do those words help the viewer understand what is going on on the screen.

108 out of 113 people found the following review useful:
Possibly the worst movie ever made, 14 April 2012
1/10

This is one of those movies that pick a name similar to the one of a blockbuster to get a couple more views. This title is no exception, but I have to mention that the movie is bad even for B standards. The acting is absolutely laughable, the plot seems to have been crafted by a six year-old and the camera effects are even worse. Do NOT pay to see this, do NOT waste bandwidth trying to download it. The director should be shot and his ashes thrown into a garbage bin. There is some moderate nudity in the movie which simply does not make up for how bad it is. This is one of those films your friends will tell you to watch just to laugh at how bad it is. Don't listen to them. It's worse than that. It's an epitaph to human stupidity and a clear example of how not to make a movie.

9 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
Absolutely horrible. Do NOT watch., 16 October 2010
1/10

This must be one of the worst movies I have ever seen. Everything is simply bad in it: the acting, the plot, don't get me started about special effects. The video looks like it has been done with a handy camera. Shame on Michael Madsen for acting in such a disaster. I am so disappointed. He dropped a LONG way from Reservoir Dogs to... this... this "thing". I see some people wrote favorable 10-star reviews of this flick. My guess is that

1. They were high 2. They are part of the cast/crew that did the movie. 3. Both

I simply cannot find ONE reason for giving this movie more than 1-2 points.