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334 reviews in total 
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A Couple of Priests Walk into a house in Amutyville..., 30 August 2011

*** This review may contain spoilers ***


The prequel/sequel to the successful (and hotly debated) "The Amityville Horror" gives us a fictionalized account of the Ronald DeFeo murders that occurred at 112 Ocean Avenue in November of 1974.

Hot-headed family man Anthony Montelli (Young) moves his family out to Long Island where a demonic entity begins to tear his already unstable family apart. When his eldest son (Wagner) becomes a vessel for the evil presence it sets off a chain of events that would forever scar the Amityville community and sell a ungodly amount of books and movie tickets.


Producer Dino De Laurentiis brought in fellow Italian and unknown director Damiano Damiani and by keeping with the tried and true Italiano tradition further amped up the rip-off nature of the production by adding an "Exorcist" component complete with a dramatic final exorcism. Carpenter understudy Tommy Lee Wallace provides a decent but unremarkable script that gives you the gist of the DeFeo murders but with an "Exorcist" twist. Composer Lalo Schifrin returns from the original to once again score the festivities with a bit of creepiness.

Opinion… Regardless of your stance on the whole "Amityville" brouhaha I enjoyed "Amityville 2" for what it was. There was an interesting camera flourish every so often and even though the final act was ripped straight from "The Exorcist" it still managed to be entertaining. Yeah there's a bit of unintentional humor and a rather creepy incestuous plot line but a good time was had.

Summary… Take "The Amityville Horror" add a heaping helping of "The Exorcist" then sprinkle in a little Italian seasoning and you have a decent follow-up in a series with more ups and downs than a steamy car on lovers lane.

The Geek (1971)
3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
What's big and hairy and lonely in the woods...?, 26 September 2010

The Geek (1971) Genre: Adult / Horror

Synopsis: A group of tree huggung hippies search the Oregon forest for signs of "The Geek"and to film it. Along the way they get busy with each other and learn the hard way that Bigfeet need love too.

My Thoughts... I guess calling this the "Citizen Kane" of Bigfoot adult films may be stretching it. It has everything going against it. From horrid stock music to crap acting "The Geek" certainly has more sin behind the camera going for it than in front. Man did that Bigfoot costume look like it was scrapped up off a country road somewhere. Fans of the craptastic may enjoy a little hardcore Bigfoot action but most will shaking their heads why?

Rating: Liked It

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
No flying rugs but..., 26 August 2010

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)

Director: Mike Newell Stars: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley

The titular prince (Gyllenhaal) is a wanted man after being accused of murdering his own adoptive father following the siege of a hallowed city. Now on the run, the prince and the princess (Arterton) of the conquered city must protect a special dagger which has the ability to affect time and destroy the world.

Jerry Bruckheimer and Disney looked to fill holes in their blockbuster schedule in between "National Treasure" and "Pirates of the Caribbean" with this video game inspired initial salvo. But its lackluster box office may have put a damper on their plans. This expensive adventure film has some decent moments. It occasionally conjures up the epic scope of say a "Lawrence of Arabia" and the adventure of "Indiana Jones" and quirkiness of the aforementioned "Pirates" series. But that's kind of the problem. The feeling we've seen it before. Director Newell does what he will with the script being a graduate from the Hogwarts' directing chair so you know he has experience in big screen fantasy. The overabundant CGI set-pieces now smack of 3D gimmickry which just ends up worsening those aspects of the film. All in all "Prince" is an OK popcorn muncher but just like it is when you get to the bottom of the bucket the last few kernels are a bit stale and leave you wanting a fresh bucket, oh and you really need to go. Rating: So-So…

8 out of 25 people found the following review useful:
The "Citizen Kane" of Exploitation Cinema., 19 July 2010

Milos is a celebrated Serbian porn star (honestly I didn't know there was an industry) whose career was seemingly in his rearview mirror. But a seriously lucrative film deal is presented to him that could rescue his meager existence with his wife and son. But as we all know (and Milos soon learns) when you make a pact with the devil you really should read it first and those devilish details send him down one of the darkest paths of the year.

Thankfully I cut myself off early before learning too much about "A Serbian Film". When I started it all I knew was that it was an exploitation film and dark. Understatements of the year I think. Many will say that it's all filth and depravity but I think the film is a bit more than that. There's some interesting character stuff under the surface which will be lost by those reaching for remote and mashing the stop button or running for the exit like they were being chased by the devil. I think this is the film exploitation fans have been salivating after for some time now and to the uninitiated a red badge of courage is almost assured to the unsuspecting film-goer who makes it to the credits without flinching. I may be blaspheming but I think it's the "Citizen Kane" of exploitation films and just watch it all to prove me wrong…I dare you.

2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Random Occurrences Make This a Hoot!, 16 May 2010

Kidnapped Coed (1976) Synopsis: Sarah is leaving her boarding house when she a petty hood kidnaps her and holds her for ransom. But the inept crook has to defend his meal ticket from other criminals wanting her for the ransom and some of the most random attacks imaginable. Thoughts: Man "Coed" really needs to be seen to be believed. The silly script rely almost solely on random circumstance to the point of hilarity. You feel sorry for the kidnapper in the end because the guy never catches a break. Thugs, murderous farmers and the odd robbery leaves this guy constantly in the wrong place at the wrong time. The woman is about as lucky as the thug only dumber blowing off a million ways to get to safety. And what's with the phone booths all out in the middle of nowhere? Like I said. Something else. (Stars: Jack Canon, Leslie Rivers, Gladys Lavitan, Larry Lambeth, Jim Blankinship) Dir...Frederick R. Friedel) (DVD) Film Rating: 2/5) (Fun Rating: 4/5)

Pretty Standard Fare..., 16 May 2010

Hitch Hike to Hell (1977) Synopsis: Howie is a hard working, timid young man who is having troubles at work and home. His blackouts are straining his work relationships and his lack of appetite is worrying his mother. Elsewhere in town a killer is murdering runaways and the police are helpless to end the crime spree. Thoughts: "Hitch Hike" could have been much better. It was too timid for the grindhouse seventies much like the lead character. I was hoping for much more nastiness but sadly all we are given is a simple script and below average acting. However it will play better with enthusiastic, drunk fans of 70's oeuvre. (Stars: Robert Gribbin, Russell Johnson,John Harmon, Randy Echols, Dorothy Bennett) (Dir...Irvin Berwick) (DVD) (Film Rating: 2/5) (Fun Rating: 3/5)

2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
A Collossal Boo Boo..., 14 May 2010

War of the Colossal Beast (1958) On the heels of the previous years "The Amazing Colossal Man", War" continues the destructive exploits of Col. Glenn Manning who was exposed to radiation and mutated into a 60 foot behemoth. Found terrorizing locals in Mexico the colossal beast is drugged and brought to the US where he runs amok in Los Angeles. This ridiculously hack sequel was clearly just thrown together due to the success of the original. Heck during one scene involving a large, over-sized hypodermic needle if you look at the creatures face you'll notice a shot where the "beast" has none of its skull makeup on with both eyes clearly shown. It's laughable but not in a good way. (Dir...Bert I. Gordon) (VHS) (1/5)

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Tongue-in-cheek, Stalk 'N slash..., 13 May 2010

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (2006) Leslie Verson is an aspiring serial killer. He's studied the best professionals his line of work has to offer (the "Unholy Trinity" of Myers, Krueger and Vorhees). He even grants access to a documentary crew as he reveals the inner most workings of the trade planning his newest hunt. But when the documentary crew ties to monkey wrench Vernon's perfectly honed plan how will it all play out? "Behind the Mask" is a rather clever homage to all things slasher. Pay close attention as there are a million winks at the viewer through references and cameos. A fun nod to the great slasher movies of yore and a must (at least once) to the discerning stalk N' slash fanatic. (Dir...Scott Glosserman) (HDTV) (3/5)

11 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
The Hills Have Thighs (2010), 25 March 2010

"The Hills Have Eyes" gets the Skinimax treatment in this softie spoof.

Bountifully blessed babes are preying on the men crazy enough to set foot near their desolate hillside home where 50 years ago nuclear testing left the are desolate. Some friends go after another friend who was kidnapped and forced to pleasure these insatiable wild women mutants and fall under the spell of "The Hills Have Thighs". Random boffing and crap-tacular music happen at regular intervals. Most are guaranteed to make you laugh or wince. If plasticized beauties and horrid acting are your thing than this one may be for you. But if you are allergic to gratuitous spoofing and monster life preservers than avoid like the plague.

Gladiator (1992)
1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Gkadiator (1992), 17 February 2010

Gladiator (1992) Columbia DTV 101m Director: Rowdy Harrington Stars: James Marshall, Cuba Gooding Jr., Robert Loggia, Brian Dennehy

Tommy Riley is a new transfer to the slums of Chicago. Out of his element, Tommy keeps to himself but winds up caught up in the addictive world of underground fighting circuit. But the neighborhood and the elements surround him as the ring threatens to end him for good.

"Gladiator" is highly derivative and definitely unoriginal but this mixture of urban teen drama and "Rocky" has its own charm and I enjoy it. It may not be original but it has a little heart and is well done and acted. (3.5/5)[/

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