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The Expendables (2010)
No no no no and double no. I am a huge fan of action films but...This was an atrocity. I can forgive the unimaginative story, bad acting, terrible script and all the other bad stuff. If the action had been well done but it was so stupid i felt my brain cells leaking out of my ears as i watched. Poorly shot in "the big" fight scenes and the graphics for gun shot wounds would have been better with squibs and blood packs.
As regards to reviewers saying it's not ego driven, that is so untrue, i now believe iraq do have wmd's. I wish they had dropped them on Sly and his old cronies. I so wanted to love this film but all the gushing reviews are making me queezy. After the movie i needed an antidote and watched Bang Rajan, a Thai version of apocalypto without the budget, and even with minimal training they eclipsed Sly's film in 30 mins.
Please go watch this film with an open mind but try to keep your brains active. The terrible monologues and Sly running had me and my friends cringing and laughing equally as hard. Look out for the enemy soldier near the end who looks like he's packing only to get shot in the ass, hilarious! but not intentional.(not a spoiler so don't complain)
The Crew (2008)
I really do dream of a better time for British cinema. This film is a glimpse of what could be. This film like all good movies focus' on a good story line, actors in roles they suit and a good pace for its style. A simmering tension through the main characters crumbling self confidence. The edge comes from some brutal violence thrown into boil. Added with the right taste, again for the type of movie it is. Along with a dash of hot lesbian action, a couple of twists and a quintessential scouse feel. Usually i think scousers get a bad representation as comedy or annoying characters but this time everyone one had a natural feel to them. In summary i would highly recommend it to any man and their dog, especially the dog.
Tropic Thunder (2008)
I cannot believe so many critics want to pick apart a great comedy. Some of the dialogue and a lot of the "off the cuff" lines are genius. So in someways it hits some lower brow levels of comedy. Woody Allen is not the be all and end all of comedy. I love some stupid comedies because they embrace what they are. This is somehow both cerebral and low brow. It has under lying subtext that most "retarded" comedies never attain. It's not the perfect comedy but it's pretty close. Robert Downey Jnr. maybe the best send up of someone like Crowe i've ever seen. I rank it alongside one of my personal favourites, another Ben Stiller, Mystery Men. Look out for the previews before the main film, genius! In summation quite your itching and get back to the mincing fags!!
I Am Legend (2007)
Masters of the abusiverse
This movie is an abomination of the mightiest proportions. Anyone who has read the book will explain it in big, bright letters. Will Smith has done some really good performances in the past but this is a cataclysmic error in casting. The books setting and character can be changed but the darkest of edges must be maintained. Scenes with shrek and IDing bob marley to a mentally challenged 'surviver' were never envisaged. The idea of watching your wife and child succumb the virus is a nightmare inducing scenario. Put them in a mad scramble to escape on a helicopter is boring and so predictable i wanted to cry (and not for the right reasons). Also the chick is a day walking vampire. There are no humans left!!! There is no f-ing safe haven in Vermont. Life, as we know it, is over. Robert Neville is a myth, a ghost, a Legend. The Idiot that made this should dig himself a shallow grave and bury himself and the movie. Tombstone reading "d.n.r.".