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Staymetal8390

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54 reviews in total 
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3 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
Oh how great is misadvertisement, 20 September 2009
7/10

How do you get people interested in a comedy/slasher flick? Put Megan Fox in it, and parade in her in the trailers saying teaser lines about showing herself, that's it! But really, the movie has more depth than a possessed girl offing horny boys at her school. Diablo Cody, the writer of the popular "Juno," took another turn at writing from seems as though she watched "Evil Dead" and a John Hughes film and collaborated the goods from both. "Jennifer's Body" is a spunky take on a snobby girl who bosses her less popular friend to join her into seeing an indie band, who decides to sacrifice her to the devil so they will get signed. Little to they know, she wasn't pure and is know empowered by a demon who feeds on flesh. So, Jennifer starts brutally feeding off the boys in the girls and it's up to her best friend to stop it. Megan Fox is perfect for the role, and the writing is pretty good. Not a bad blockbuster at all!

Worthy until the final 20 minutes, 18 September 2009
7/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Being late August, early September, it marks the beginning of horror movie season with hits like "Halloween 2," "The Final Destination," both sequels, but then there's "Sorority Row," which from the trailers portrays an interesting premise. Sorority girls pull on a mean prank on a sister's boyfriend who cheated on her. They trick him into thinking the girl is dying, and are taking her body away to get rid of the evidence. But, he actually kills her which leaves the girls to dump her body in a mine. Of course, there's five girls; one H.B.I.C, the drunk, a goody-girl, the normal, and an Asian. Eight months later, the girls are preparing for a graduation party and a killer starts killing them and all involved with the incident one by one.

The killer should have been someone else, instead of a psycho boyfriend in my opinion. The motive would have been better, but I guess the writers decided to take another turn. Not a bad choice for a horror movie though.

WALL·E (2008)
14 out of 42 people found the following review useful:
Something might be wrong with me, but this is not my cup of tea., 6 June 2009
1/10

Pixar has a reputation of not making bad movies, until Wall-E (in my opinion.) After all the amazing reviews, I saw it expecting a spectacular fun Disney flick but instead got an annoying robot loving another robot with a message about the environment. Disney is supposed to cater to little kids, they do not know about the environment, so kinda threw me off. The only thing I knew the kids would love was seeing Wall-e make a mess out of his clumsy self. Also, I don't know if it's just me, but all of Pixar's humans are always fat. Yes, this one's plot line makes them that way but still, didn't seem any different than the humans in any other film. I loved the short before the movie, and honestly I wish that was the movie and this wasn't. If anyone can explain why this movie is so highly acclaimed, inform me (But not really, I know i'm going to be hated for saying all this, it's just my opinion.)

1 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
Take away the drugs and nudity and it's not bad., 14 February 2009
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

If you love horror movies, and have seen the Friday the 13th series, you'll enjoy this remake that sums up the first 3 movies in the installment. Mommy Voorhees gets mad at the counselors for letting her son drown, she dies, Jason witnesses and then carries on her legacy. He kills with no mask, then finds the mask and kills some more.

The first group of five characters include two couples and a nerdy whatever searching the area for weed to sell. What seemed like a ghost story to them about a killer at the camp told by the nerd, started coming true one by one. A few weeks later, a new set of characters including a jerk, his girlfriend, a couple, some other whorish girl, token black guy and funny guy take a trip to the jerk's family cabin looking a good time.

While partying, a lone biker wanders around searching for his missing sister (who was one in the first five). The biker and girlfriend find Jason carrying a body to his camp area. As it gets dark, they start to fall prey one by one and not in the gory fashion as in "Freddy Vs Jason" but in a gruesome fashion.

The only flaws I have was the nudity everywhere, and the fact there's always the same kind of cliché groups of people that wouldn't normally hang out together. Other than that, great slasher flick and date movie.

7/10

33 out of 63 people found the following review useful:
Pefect start for 2009, 17 January 2009
8/10

After waiting opening night in the freezing cold to see this, I was happily not disappointed in Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Yes, we all know it's not meant for critical acclaim but for pure comical entertainment and it delivers. I'm sure after anyone sees it, they're going to want one of the little vespa vehicles he drives.

Anyway, Kevin James is Paul Blart, an overweight suburban dad wanting to be a cop but instead he's a security guard at a mall. He has a daughter who's mother left him once she got citizenship. Paul has a crush on the new girl at the wig kiosk but of course he's conscience about his weight. Then one day, some organized crooks take over the mall and Blart is unaware. Once the crooks have hostages including Blart's crush and his daughter then he decides to take things into his own hands and save the mall.

At first I was terribly disappointed to see this was PG-13 because I thought it was then going to be a little contrived potty/stupid humor film for kids. Yes some stupid humor was there but in the best way. I think this would be the perfect family or date movie (as it was for me) so take a trip to comical fun.

4 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
The day the earth was bored..., 15 December 2008
4/10

No, I haven't seen the original, nor do I care to after watching this boring and pointless excuse for entertainment. I bet the old one from 1951 had more suspense than this Hollywood garbage.

Yes, the movie had a captivating start that left you with questions you wanted answered. Yes, Keanu plays a magnificent alien and his character is likable yet confusing at times because you're expected to believe he's bad, then good again, then bad. It leaves you wondering where the filmmakers were going with that transformation. A lot of people (myself included) probably thought this was a futuristic type earth-ridden disaster because the marketing showed the only action/destruction scenes in the preview.

Like Wall-E, it's a wake-up call for humans to stop treating the earth bad, but in my opinion, Wall-E was crap and so was this. The only positives were Will Smith's adorable son and Keanu.

Saw V (2008)
2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
They went two steps down, and one step up., 26 October 2008
4/10

After Saw 3 and 4, I didn't really wanna see more people die horribly for no ways. It was weird to me that someone would take orders from a dead guy. As Saw 3 came around, the horror and suspense was gone and it seemed to just be a gore show with another twist that led to another sequel, which is what this one did.

The story continues as Hoffman tries to hide his identity as Jigsaw's apprentice. Agent Strahm believes Hoffman is linked to Jigsaw and tries to prove it, while another game of terror is in store for five connected individuals. Full of confusing flashbacks, not so much gruesome acts compared to the last sequels, and a horrible ending, Saw 5 was here whether we wanted it or not.

Eagle Eye (2008)
3 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
What was Shia thinking?, 4 October 2008
4/10

What could have been an amazing blockbuster with an A-list star, was just a boring, ultra annoying "convenient" film filled with explosions and modern technology.

It seems as if the writers just said as a plot "Hey let's get Shia LaBeouf to be controlled by a mysterious voice" and just went with it. I thought with D.J Caruso directing, because 'Disturbia' was quite amazing that he once again could make a great film with Shia.

Basically, two strangers get calls threatening their lives if they don't follow the orders of the caller while the government tracks them down. Very convenient action and peril with no suspense, and no explanation that actually makes sense. This proves commercials/trailers are very deceiving. Honestly, I'm disappointed in Shia for deciding to do this.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Finally, we have Venom!, 19 September 2008
8/10

Seeing the poster of this in early of 2007, with the dark Spiderman had me so siked for this sequel. I was not disappointed like a lot of people were, even though it had many flaws.

From Spiderman 1, I didn't like Mary Jane Watson, so of course I still didn't care about her character. The flaws I had with the movie, were the Sandman in general, I just didn't like him. His effects in the end were horrible and never would I expect to see "Emo Peter" with black hair and eyeliner.

I always thought Topher Grace should have been Spiderman, from the second I saw him in "That 70's Show." Seeing him as Brock/Venom was quite cool, but not quite right. Venom should have been bigger, but hey not too bad.

This follows the second obviously as Peter bonds with this mysterious goo which brings turmoil within his life/career.

Worth while if you follow the comic and movies

Igor (2008)
10 out of 41 people found the following review useful:
"Yes Master" stay away from this film, 19 September 2008
2/10

The only reason I gave this 2 and not 1, is because of Steve Buscemi's character who was a little amusing. Other than that, the talent is wasted. John Cusack, John Cleese, Buscemi, and Sean Hayes can do so much better than this.

It seems like Tim Burton's style with a Frankenstein-ish storyline. In Malaria, an always gloomy town, where everyone's either an evil scientist or an "Igor." And a certain Igor, played by John Cusack, wants to be an evil scientist who is better than his own master. He's created a bunny who can't die named Scamper (Buscemi) and Brain (Hayes). As his master's creation leads to his demise, he brings his new creation to life. However, instead of being evil, she's nice.

I kind of lost interest after that, all I remember was she named herself Eva, was taught to talk, and some other evil scientist wants to steal Igor's creation blah blah.

Cute idea, very poorly executed. Rent The Nightmare Before Christmas instead.


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