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Here's some of my favorite movie-related things:
Directors: Alfred Hitchcock
When a Stranger Calls (Original)
Dressed to Kill
The Hills Have Eyes (Original)
As you can see, I love the horror genre!
So, yeah. That's that. See ya.
Troll 2 (1990)
Wonderful, Wonderful Cinematic Vomit
"Troll 2" is the story (if you could call it that!) of a family who moves to the country town of Nilbog, where everyone is a vegetarian and also evil goblins in disguise. It is up to a young boy and his dead grandfather to save the family from turning into plant-things and being eaten by the townspeople! Wow. Just wow. According to the documentary about this film, this is the "Best Worst Movie". This is very, very true. The acting is horrible and the dialogue is just so inept you have to wonder if kindergarteners wrote this. Woops,I retract my last statement because it insults the intelligent of kindergarteners. Yeah, it's that bad. It makes "Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2" look like the freaking "Godfather". But it is incredibly enjoyable and unintentionally hilarious (hence the 5.0 rating I gave it). I recommend this great (but-at-the-same-time-horrible) movie to anyone who wants to laugh their heads off.
Rated: PG-13 for Violence
Visiting Hours (1982)
Well-Acted Early '80s Slasher
"Visiting Hours" is the intense story of Deborah Ballin, a women's rights activist who causes much controversy in her decision to support a woman who killed her abusive husband. This decision causes a psychotic misogynist to hunt down Ms.Ballin and kill her. However, his violent attack only sends her to the local hospital, where she makes friends with a kind-hearted nurse. The psychopath then hunts her and all those close to her down in order to finish what he started. Although it sounds like your typical '80s slaughter-thon, this movie actually has more depth to it than most. Instead of b-actors that don't know what they're doing, this cast is made up of some pretty good actors such as Academy-Award winner Lee Grant, William Shatner, the ever-creepy Michael Ironside, and Linda Purl. I believe that Ironside was perfectly cast here and gives a great performance as a soulless, evil killer. Another thing that sets this apart from the other slasher flicks is the dark-nature of the violence. Most of these flicks are very gory, but they are mostly light-hearted and campy. This was just dark and quite mean-spirited, which makes the movie very effective. I certainly recommend this frightening little gem!
Rated: R for Violence and Profanity
Way Above Average...
"Curtains" tells the story of six young actresses staying at a secluded mansion somewhere in New England. The girls are all auditioning for the role of "Audra", the title character in a play. However, somebody starts slashing the guest list. Although from the description it SOUNDS like a typical slasher flick, it certainly is not. For instance, there is much more back-story and character development in this movie then your typical teen-kill movie. The acting is quite good, too. We have Samantha Eggar (David Cronenberg's "The Brood") as the main actress, and Lesleh Donaldson ("Happy Birthday To Me") playing a smaller role. Also, this has one of the creepiest death scenes in all of the 80s horror films: the ice-skating scene. This movie would be worth watching if just for that scene. The violence and gore level is kept to a minimum, but there are a few bloody scenes (i.e. the head in the toilet bowl...) Overall, fans of the genre should check this out!
Rated: R for Violence/Terror, Nudity, and Profanity
My Grade: C+
Fulci's Creepy Mansion
"House by the Cemetery" is about a family who moves from New York City to an old mansion in Massachusetts. What they don't know is that there's someone (or something) in the cellar that harbors a dark secret. Oh boy, this movie is certainly a roller coaster ride. Yes, there are a few plot holes and things that don't make much since (i.e. the wife completely ignoring the fact that the nanny is cleaning up a large trail of blood in the kitchen)and the acting is not too good (I blame this mostly on the dubbing). Also, the young child named Bob whom we are supposed to feel sympathetic for has the MOST annoying voice that I have ever heard on a child. Once again, I blame this on the dubbing. The movie DOES have its perks, though. For instance, the spooky atmosphere in the old dark house in the woods of Massachusetts. Fulci was obviously influenced by the writing of H.P. Lovecraft. I would probably recommend this film to a fan of the genre, but not to the average person. Also, this movie is hyper-violent and extraordinarily gory, so it's not for the squeamish.
Not Rated: with Extreme Violence/Gore, and Brief Nudity
One of Argento's greatest. Very underrated.
"Phenomena" is the great film about young Jennifer (played by a very young Jennifer Conelly) who can communicate with insects. Her father, a famous movie star, sends her away to a Swedish academy where a murderer is hacking up girls with a sharp pole. Jennifer teams up with a professor who specializes in insects to find the killer using her bizarre power. I believe that many people don't like this movie because they don't understand it. While I do admit that it can be confusing at times, if one really pays attention and "reads between the lines" so to speak, they will uncover a masterpiece of Italian horror cinema. The story is simple, yet with enough twists and suspense manages to become something much more. Once again, Argento's directing is phenomenal (excuse the pun) and this movie is simply a visual treat. Recommended.
Not Rated: with Graphic Violence, and Language
Love the TV show, the movie was okay,
"Tales From The Darkside: The Movie" is about a modern-day witch who is keeping a young boy captive in her pantry to cook and serve him at a dinner party. In order to distract the witch, the boy tells her three scary stories. My favorite story in this movie was Stephen King's "Cat From Hell". The other two stories were alright, but I'm not going to lie, they kind of bored me. The movie was definitely not bad, I guess I was just expecting it to live up to the TV show, which it did not. The acting was good, with Steve Buscemi, Julianne Moore, Rae Dawn Chong, and many other well-known actors who play parts in the stories. Not sure if I'd recommend this one, but some may like it more than I did.
Rated: R for Violence, Gore, Language, and Brief Sex/Nudity
My Grade: C-
Jason X (2001)
Why I Laugh When I See Ice Tongs
"Jason X" tells of how Jason was accidentally frozen for 400 years and then thawed out aboard a space ship in the future. On the ship are a group of students and their professor (who, I may add, believes a "good time" is dressing up in a woman's nightie and having one of his students twist his nipples with ice tongs!. Anyway, you can probably guess that Jason is back to his old ways and now the people on the ship have to battle him. In space. Wow. There are so many things wrong with this movie, but I guess I should have expected that when I bought a movie about Jason in space. The acting was non-existent and the plot, well, there really was none. The students (and professor) aboard the ship seem to have sex every five minutes, even the ship's android is involved in a few "steamy" scenes. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life, though. It was an EXTREMELY funny movie, and is guaranteed to have you laughing like crazy throughout. Surprisingly, I'd recommend this because it is a GREAT comedy.
Rated: R for Violence, Gore, Language, Nudity and Sexual Scenes (involving ice tongs.)
My Grade (as a serious movie): F
My Grade (as a cheesy dumb horror movie): A+
Wonderful British horror
"Frightmare" is the atmospheric and creepy story of an elderly couple who spent several years in a mental institution for cannibalistic murders, but are recently released. The couple has two daughters, the oldest knows the whereabouts of her parents and goes to their house several times a week to bring mysterious "packages" to the mother, but the youngest daughter "supposedly" believes that the parents died in a car crash. However, the younger daughter starts to exhibit behavior similar to her mothers... Pete Walker regular Sheila Keith really made this movie. She is perfectly cast as the creepy woman who appears to be up to her cannibalistic old tricks again. She is very intense and a great scary actress. The film also wins because of its bleak and dreary atmosphere, and manages to instill a sense of eeriness and unease throughout. If you happen to run into this film, give it a try!
Not Rated: contains Violence and Gore
The Fog (1980)
Good old-fashioned ghost story
"The Fog" tells of the seaside town of Antonio Bay, which seems to have a problem on their hands. During the 100-year celebration, a mysterious fog rolls in off of the bay and soon the residents realize that with the fog, are ghost pirates out for revenge for the intentional shipwreck that occurred 100 years ago and helped to start the town as the residents know it today. Very eerie atmosphere, the creepy lighthouse, the church, and the town itself are all perfect settings for a ghost story. Also, the movie starts with an old man telling the story of the ghost pirates to a group of young kids, which really helps to set the creepy tone of the movie. The acting is pretty good with a (mostly) all-star cast, and a good script. Whether you like John Carpenter's movies or are just a fan of horror in general, check this out!
Rated: R for Violence
Reazione a catena (1971)
Beautifully shot horror film
"Bay of Blood" is the (complicated) story of a countess being murdered by her husband, and then the husband is murdered by an unseen attacker. Soon, a killer begins stalking people in the bay area, but are the murders just random or is there a purpose for all the carnage? First off, this movie was pretty confusing. It wasn't until the end that I fully understood what was going on. However, the setting is beautifully eerie and the film has several peaceful shots of the bay at sunset (Usually after a grisly murder). I do love this film's style and the direction by Mario Bava make this an above-average horror film. Check it out.
Not Rated: contains Violence, Gore, and Nudity.