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Bullet to the Head (2012)
Give me a bullet to the head
"Bullet to the head" should be free with admission to this movie, I think it's the only way that we, as a civilization can be sure that nothing like this movie will ever be made again...remakes, sequels, reboots, trilogies.
1 good idea + 5 poor characters = Bullet to the head
I'm starting to think, the title and the current state of the writer of this film are very similar. But here's hoping. *No offence, to whom ever would be stupid enough to confess they wrote this, I do admit it could be good as a time filler when stuck on an elevator between floors 1 and 2, with a group of Jehovah's Witnesses.*
If you're looking for a shitty movie that sucks, this is your jackpot! I got really close and personal with this film because it became an enclosed chapter of my life. I just couldn't finish it. It's took me a little while to finish watching it, but I finally did it. Only took about 3 sessions, 30 minutes each. That's about all I could take. Which is nice for anyone with obsessive compulsive disorder, because after about 23 minutes of watching you'll be wondering why you're still watching.
When I first started watching this film, I was happy to see Stallone in another roll. Well guess what? Stallone is a millionaire and he can buy his way onto the big screen when ever the hell he wants, I consider this to be a "Hollywood Stallone Surprise" the first of many, I'm sure. He needs our money, people, or he will become one of us. I added this for all the good people who don't know movies exist but love movie stars.
There's 2 parts of this film that just completely lost it for me. Cause I'm a good guy, and wanted to see this film. I was hopping to spend my entertainment money being entertained. My it's bad buy, but I'll consider it a bad investment.
I've heard about a few "plot holes" and to be honest if you can get past the whole, I'm a cop wanting to work with the guy that just killed my partner thing (oh don't worry I'm getting back to this) there's a part near the beginning where Stallone mentions 2 rules...1 no women, 2 no children. He mentions these things ONLY. Then why not murder your tattoo/doctor daughter in the prequel?
So I have tried to put myself into the shoes of an Asian coming to America to be a cop and having his partner killed. It almost seemed like he didn't want revenge for his partner's death. It seemed like he was really a robot from outer space, who learnt English and Law, then became a detective who would later have his partner murdered and that's it. Later the Robot alien teams up with his partner's killer, (I know, my version sounds awesome doesn't it) in order to follow him around until his partner's killer can crack the cause. No family, no friends, and for some reason the cops decide to pull his guy from him because he doesn't have a permit? Cause every cop needs a permit for his gun in order to be able to fight crime.
There are so many other things that I hated about this film, and I try to make my reviews as short for as bad the movie was....I'm surprised I wrote anything at all.
I hated this film.
Took another one for the team!
First off, this may contain spoilers.
First 5 minutes were great! The remaining hour and 25 minutes...not so great. I was looking forward to seeing this movie, based on two setups; it stars Eric Bana, who often selects great movies, and the plot summary made this sound like a great film. There was also a few other great actors in the film, but only a few.
The plot summary is incorrect. AKA let's get to these spoilers!
Let's take a look at the plot summary; A thriller that follows two siblings who decide to fend for themselves in the wake of a botched casino heist, and their unlikely reunion during another family's Thanksgiving celebration.
And here's where the spoilers come in as you learn the truth about the plot. - Addison and Liza are not siblings, they are wacko, crazy. - Not once in the film was there mention of a 'casino job' mentioned. - From what I can tell the "casino job" was a success. They're miles away everything before trouble begins. - I don't even remember them mentioning Thanksgiving. - "their unlikely reunion" was initiated by a voice mail on Addison's phone, which contained the address of the house where the Thanksgiving thing was taking place. Generally, if I'm leaving a voice mail for a friend with an address to meet me at...I'm not going to consider it an "unlikely reunion" if they show up.
I gave it 3 stars for causing so much confusion, and for tricking me into watching it.
Now let's proceed with the film. The so-called casino heist, could have been a taco stand, they never once mentioned the "C" word (casino). Maybe that's part of a deleted scene. Early in the film, when the police get involved, as a police officer was murdered, there is still no mention of anything to do with a casino heist. As the movie goes on, I couldn't help wonder how the heck these people could pull off an organized crime to get so much loot. I think it's impossible, or maybe it's the prequel. ***PLEASE DO NOT MAKE A PREQUEL***
The whole movie is a slow build up to the climatic mystical event of the 'unlikely' reunion, which is a total let down. It's over in about three minutes. It's like they somehow broke the budget and decided to quickly wrap things up. During the entire film, Addison is on a mini killing spree, with all his encounters being a one on one stand off. This changes once he gets to the celebration though, he starts taking hostages(?). I was so confused by this, but confusion is good, it's what kept me watching this "film". I was also confused with the female cop showed up at the celebration towards the end of the movie. Why the heck was she there? She wasn't part of the family, maybe that's part of a deleted scene. Anyway, 1 cop, 1 ex-cop, a boxer and a housewife, I'd be pumping lead into them all. What the heck was he waiting for, the credits?
Finally, Liza ends the whole thing before the credits roll, and I'm sure she's on her way the psycho ward or prison. This was the only shocker in the whole film, can't figure out way she'd kill her "brother". Maybe that's part of a deleted scene.
I wasted enough time on this film already, I'm not writing anymore. Hopefully I saved you from this atrocity.
Dawn of the Dragonslayer (2011)
I don't know where to start
I could spend hours writing reasons this film failed, but I'm sure most other reviewers can take care of that so I'll try to point out as many good features as possible, but there's only a few.
The scenery of some of the shots are actually quite nice, and could be added to a wilderness type documentary. Not sure who was in charge of that, but seems like they were able to capture some of the beautiful sites of Ireland.
The special effects were a lot better then most budget movies, there must have been a sale on CGI dragons, cause it was quite good.
That's about it. I think kids would really enjoy this, if they can stay focused long enough. There's very little action and even less dragon.
That's about all of the good.
The movie's plot was missing something, something big. It just didn't hold together. The continuity was mostly on the lacking side, not just in the director's view, but in the editor's chair as well. There's so much more to complain about, like characters loosing their accents etc.
My biggest hatred for this film, is the final battle scene...I was in shock, with how bad it was, and it's still bothering me to be honest.
Maybe you'll enjoy this film more then I did. Hope some one does.
Margin Call (2011)
Drama-Thriller, more like Drama Boring.
Spoiler alert...this movie sucks! That's the only spoiler...promise.
This movie brings to light a new genre of movie: Boring. Although on IMDb it says Drama/Thriller, it is far from thrilling. The drive to the movie store to rent this "movie" was more thrilling to be honest...it was all downhill from there. It must be a typo, but even in the movie's plot summary it states "a thriller that revolves around..." it doesn't revolve, it fails, it's a movie that focuses on a bank's corporate workings.
I've also read a few reviews, but only after watching the film, just to see if I was the only person having an issue with this film. There was nothing good about this film, only that it will shed some light for a few people who've been living in a cave for the past 10-20 years, and haven't yet realized that we're all owned by the banks. The story was true to everyday life, and for that one reason I give it 1 stars.
There's a lot of reviews saying little more then bragging about the acting. If you're not into movies, and love actors, this is for you! But just because there's an A-rated actor on screen doesn't make the film any better. Go ahead and invite all the cool kids at school to your party. Just because they show up doesn't mean the party will be rocking. Of course the acting was great, they were doing their jobs. So I'm wondering if the use of other actors would have any effect of success on the popularity of this movie. Yes is does, if you don't believe me, read more reviews.
From the beginning, I wasn't sure who the protagonist or the antagonist was, maybe that's the point(?). To me, it seems to focus around the antagonists, the protagonists, are people who rent movies for enjoyment, who allow the banks to control their lives without question. There was only 2 protagonists in the film, see if you can spot them!
Demi Moore looked awesome, so I gave it another star, although her looks have absolutely nothing to do with this film, it was ONLY this that kept me watching.
The Girl from the Naked Eye (2012)
I was less then halfway through before I realized that if some, more experienced, people were employed to create this film, it'd probably be a blockbuster. If everyone making it has the experience, then maybe hire some better people. This film smells like Canada, I think it must have been made with 'Canadian dollars'.
The acting was good, the story had a few holes in it, so as long as you don't pay too much attention, then you may not notice. Like when Sandy talks about it being her "first night on the job"
The editing was good, but the scene where he's running down the stairs. Good lighting though.
If you like fighting, and boobs this movie was made for you!