Change Your Image
Upload An Image
Crop And Save
The Fourth Kind (2009)
boe_dye sez: i'm kinda on the fence about this one...
Sure I gave it a seven, mostly for it's originality as well as cinematic styling, however does that warrant it being a good story as well as a movie? Not really sure to be honest...
One of the things that bothers me the most is that it's claimed to be "alien abduction". However the problem with that is that almost all of the documentary and tapes shown don't really fit well with abduction as much as they do with demonic possession. Of course believing in aliens is much more easier to swallow because at the very least, it is a tangible protagonist as opposed to saying "demon" which is more spiritual and requires a bit of faith and belief in something...
The other problem I have is the whole authenticity of the film. Yes, it comes off as saying "the events are real, and disturbing, and this actually happened...". But upon further research, there is very little if ANYTHING to substantiate any of this. No record in any medical journal, nor anything that would substantiate any of it.
The final problem I have was that if in fact all of it was true, and it very well might have been, was that the all of the visual media associated with it was further doctored to make it even more distorted then what it was, which while I agree made for an interesting effect, but left the viewer to further question whether or not any of it was real or not.
Some good things I will say is that it was indeed a spooky film if nothing more. A few squirms and a bit of a jump in my seat at one point. It was engaging, and it did bring you into the world that the filmmaker was portraying.
So regardless whether or not it was true, and the events did happen. It wasn't an awful film and more disturbing at times rather then relying on horror and shock value.
A decent film to watch in the dark.
boe_dye sez: just when you thought that a disaster movie couldn't get anymore preposterous
Often times when I talk about a movie I find it necessary to talk about how bad it is. Sometimes a film is so bad, it's good. Sometimes a film is so bad that it is painful.
This film was so bad, that it was good. It was absurd, preposterous, over the top, and absolutely without any merit of intelligence what so ever.
The gags were repeated for the sheer fact of filler space because of the lack of any real content. Literally, Three different death defying car/chase sequences with three totally different cars. Three death defying chase sequences with two different airplanes. And one death defying chase scene with a boat.
One idiotic cliché after the other, silly little sight gags and about 45 minutes way too long.
But you know what? In the end we laughed our collective @$$es off it was so funny. And in the parking lot the best that could be said was that it was better then the made for TV movie "Aftershock" done by Hallmark.
A movie like this you certainly don't go for the intelligence, you go for a brain stew. It can only exist to turn your gray matter into a puddle of goo, and in that it succeeded.
Yes I rated it as awful, and it is. But it's so awful that you really should go see it just because it's so awful.
The Big Lebowski (1998)
boe_dye sez: it wasn't funny, it wasn't not funny, it wasn't much of anything really
Certain movies you can sort of understand why they are cult classics, other films such as this one, seem to be funny and intelligent because someone said it was funny and intelligent and therefore must be funny and intelligent.
I suppose you could find deeper meaning in this, or perhaps the meaning was right there on the surface. But like many of the Coen Brothers films that I have watched I either like them or I don't.
The ones that I liked usually have a strong story behind them, the ones that I don't like seem to be more of a "day in the life of" story about people who really don't seem to matter and about events that no one really cares about.
Maybe there is some type of amusement in trivial matters, making bored college frat boys feel more intelligent then they really are, but I need something deeper for intellectual stimulation.
For my comedy, I don't need slapstick or pie in the face humor to make me laugh. Cynicism, witty dialogue, sarcasm, commentary and so on, not one line random events that happen out of no where with no real context and then expected to be funny.
(which is not to say that slapstick pie in the face humor doesn't make me laugh at times...) A very random film with very to little no substance to it. A few quirky one liners here and there, but in all honesty I was more looking at the clock waiting for this film to end then I was looking at the film waiting for it to be entertaining.
Yet for some reason it has a cult following and there it is... However one should keep in mind that cults generally comprise of brainwashed individuals who really can't think for themselves anyways and generally follow wherever they are pointed to like mindless sheople...
District 9 (2009)
boe_dye sez: pseudo-intellectual drivel with more plot holes then chicken wire
I honestly went to this hoping to see something moderately original. And even if it wasn't original (which by the way, it really wasn't) at the very least something that would make me go "huh, interesting" not waiting till the end of the credits for punchline that never comes.
Within ten minutes of this documentary style film I was already wanting to leave. The pointless ramblings and the ridiculous plot holes are what really lost me. I suppose you could say that it was the "bigger picture", the apparent commentary on race relations that is what made this film. But even in that, if you have too many unanswered questions in a story, at least to a person who goes to the movies more often then not for a good story, then the message becomes lost.
We are meant to believe that this obviously advance race, just showed up on sunny afternoon, hovered over Johannesburg for a couple of days, only to be "liberated" by the altruistic humans, only to be "forced" into concentration camps for 20 years, while they scavenge for non-human alien parts, in order to return to their ship, so that they can go home and this whole time, while they not only have numbers and tech that could level the human race in a matter of months, they are doing nothing but hanging out in concentration camps and selling their incredibly advance weaponry (which only they can use due to genetic encoding), that is apparently illegal to have anyways according to the local government who are hosting these visitors as refugees, but they have it anyways, to the local gangs...
...For cat food...
That's about as stupid as saying that the Jews wanted to be captured and tortured and then finally liberated during the holocaust cause they had nothing else better to do for the weekend...
And then the subplot, or I suppose the plot of the social worker who get's a dose of his own prejudicial medicine by becoming the thing that he initially hates whom in the end he looks to as brother...
A movie for pseudo-intellectuals who can look over the apparent questions and only look at the race/prejudice issue, and get meaning out of this. Completely stupid, utterly a waste, and not a shred of intellectualism in it what so ever.
It's a scathing review because I myself am somewhat angered that I was suckered into this. However, PT Barnum speaks to me from the grave and reminds me that a sucker is born every minute.
Oh, and for all of you out there thinking that this is so original and edgy and never been done before, it has. It was done in an episode of the Outer Limits Entitled "The Grell". It came out ten years ago. Only difference is that the budget was considerably lower, and the story only needed about 45 minutes to the get the point across, and not nearly 2.5 hours...
However, It's not entirely fair to say that it's unoriginal because the Outer Limits has nearly covered just about every subject imaginable... But there it is. Technically speaking Babylon 5 did it with the Narn and the Centari, and so did Battlefield Earth, and even that was better then this...
boe_dye sez: American Pie here.
In all honesty, a film like this must be compared to it's peers. The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, Ten Things I Hate About You, American Pie, etcetera, ad infinitum...
It's a coming of age teenage angst film. Unpopular kids trying to get with the popular girls in their senior year of high school.
But in all honesty, the cast was more like Middle School children entering into High School.
Sure there were funny moments, jailbait eye candy, drinking and sexual innuendo's, and what have you...
But after a while, it started to drag on.
Whats worse is that when the ending came, it really didn't have a resolution or anything, just a very quick "this is where we part ways" moment with the one character looking back.
Not only that, but with the resolution neither of them seemed terribly happy about it, even though they ultimately got what they wanted.
The fat kids obnoxious quips got old, and the skinny kids monotone voice made him seem bored all the time.
And the geeky kid with the annoying voice... well he was funny as a Jon Cryer comedy relief aspect...
Other wise a mediocre movie at best. Funny yes, replay value? Not really. There are considerably better movies of similar styling out there that make this on just get lost in the pile.
What Just Happened (2008)
boe_dye sez: It began, and then... ended... and then... I made some toast and forgot all about it.
And that is about as unappealing as this was. It was like eating dry toast without any butter or cheese. Boring, and pointless yet just enough to kill that hunger of having some noise in the background.
It filled an empty spot, and in the most un satisfying way, and in the end, it was as if it never really happened at all.
There was very little plot, and pretty much followed Robert DeNiro's character as a fading Hollywood producter, yet at the same time it didn't really seem as if he was fading as much as he was going through a rough patch in his life.
Bruce Willis played a real weenie of a caricature of himself or at least, I hope it was a caricature. How anyone could stand to be such an inconsiderate weenie is beyond me.
Ultimately, there was very little gained by watching this. It's boring, not at all interesting and when it's over you are left asking yourself "What just happened?", and if it takes you longer then a second the answer is simple: Nothing...
Terminator Salvation (2009)
boe_dye sez: Okay, I get why people didn't like it. here is why I did:
First off, lets understand that this isn't really the "finality" of Terminator. It's more on the order of this is a story how we get from point A which would be sometime after Terminator 3, to point B which would be before the war is over. In all honesty there is a considerable amount of groundwork to cover between here and there which, thankfully, McG did not choose to cover.
What was good was that the story followed and respected the groundwork that had been laid before. Like all great heroes, they don't just pop up one day and say "Here I am to save the world". No, they are seasoned, experienced veterans who are alive and kicking because they were smarter then all the other people who didn't live all that long.
Previous Terminator films almost made it sound as if the Resistance was nothing more then a motley crew of ragtag fighters fighting for survival. This made them considerably more organized.
One thing that did surprise me was that this is NOT a Christian Bale movie. Yes, Christian Bale is in it, and I happen to believe that man can do no wrong when it comes to acting (yes even Newsboys). His Batman voice was a bit overplayed and at one point I was half expecting his to start muttering "Whyrutryingtokillme".
Never the less, the film more focused on the Resistance as a whole, and Conner's affect on the resistance. It showed more how he grew into the role as John Conner, Leader.
Lots of action. LOTS of action. One great thing is that McG chose to use more robots when possible as opposed to CGI. CGI is overplayed and makes everything look fake. This was about as real as a movie as I have seen in a while up to and including a very realistic auto rotation that as a former helicopter student, I was very well aware of the ramifications of.
Again, it followed the storyline very well and as far as plot holes go, I will get into that with the "cons".
What most people are complaining about:
The time line. Alright, first of the Terminator does create a mess of predestination paradox's. But without getting into a whole philosophical diatribe about something that could never really happen anyways I will say this: What is going to happen, is ultimately going to happen. You cannot change the future, only delay the outcome. It's not to say that you don't have a choice you do, however it's simply a matter of catching up to that choice and, to quote, understand that choice.
If they changed the future in the second film then the time line creates a huge paradox anyways that says that Kyle Reese, while still being born at one point or another will never have a reason to go back into time to impregnate Sarah Conner and John Conner is never born...
Therefore at some point or another, the events that happen have to happen.
Which is why in the 3rd one, Arnie says that Judgement day is inevitable you only have to survive it.
Nextly and this is what secret agent J had to gripe about, was the whole dropping into the center of the Machine City or Skynet Central and there being almost no resistance what-so-ever. Let's be honest. If the machines really wanted to wipe us out, then it wouldn't be that difficult. Drop a few nukes. The just mercilessly eradicate us all. Non stop slaughter. No rest no quarter. Thats why in a movie such as "The Matrix", the machines effectively DID win. It was only by fighting from the inside out did humanity have a chance.
That being said, you have to take certain liberties to make the machines less then what they are. And because of those liberties you can have static bases, utilities, aircraft weaponry and a whole other schlew of things at your disposal in order to have some semblance of hope.
So, Skynet has to be vulnerable. And call it profound arrogance on the Machines part. Why should they need to have sentries and armed personal guarding it's most valued base of operations? Why? Because in all their logic and mathematical precision they can never compute something that is random chance. They cannot think outside the box of numbers and statistics. Getting to that point is in the machines eyes a mathematical impossibility.
Next, and this is a gripe that I do agree with.
Molten steel has been proved effective in the decimation of T800's. Why oh why it didn't work on the model in the movie is beyond me. Nitrogen gas, commonly used for cooling seem to be an effective method for immobilizing T1000's.
Now physics states that if you super heat something, and then super cool it at an extreme rate that it usually shatters pretty quickly. like taking a hot frying pan and dropping it in water will most definitely warp it beyond use.
Why it wasn't the case here is beyond me as it has proved effective time and time again.
Lastly, the paying homage to the previous Terminator films by re-imaging certain sequences got old fast. It was almost on the order of history repeats itself or what goes around comes around. Yes we know, your mom fought the terminator walking up the flight of stair just like you are now.
Yes we know your Terminator buddy in the second film got pounded with in the chest with a steel girder just like your Terminator buddy is right now.
However, the use of Arnold as the T800 prototype was AMAZING! Well thought out, and well played and epic beyond belief.
A definite redemption from the campy Terminator 3 debacle!
Star Trek (2009)
boe_dye sez: how about now we reboot the star wars saga in an alternate reality where Padme doesn't die...
*****SPOILERS BEGIN HERE******** Words cannot describe how utterly disgusted I am at this. The teasers were right, this ain't yo daddy's star trek. This isn't even my Star Trek.
This isn't even Star Trek and has no business being called Star Trek. Oh sure the names are there, and yes it's glitzy and expensive with lots of explosions...
Spocks mom dies...
for the really hardcore, there is a reference of Cardasians...
OH yeah, and there is Uhura making out with Spock on the transporter pad, and before that asking him if, and I quote "just tell me what you want of me and i'll do it" in a turbo lift as a way to console Spock after Vulcan had just been destroyed. What a way to make Uhura a cheap thrill ride...
It's okay though, cause OLD Spock, played poorly by Leonard Nimoy says that is an "alternate time line" and because of that it makes everything better...
Let me put my view into perspective. I watch the Old series, I watch the Next Generation, I watch DS9, I watch Enterprise. And I'm not even one of those guys who wears the uniform and lives the lifestyle...
But you know, I am so tired of Hollywood butchering the things that I grew up on.
And Trekkies? Oh the Trekkies will hate this.
Yeah, sure there is the Kobayashi Maru, which in all honesty is about the only thing canonical to this whole mess of a film, but other wise it was just one slight after another.
Chekhov is suddenly this wiz kid physicist, scotty is basically a garage mechanic, Uhura is suddenly this linguistic genius, Spock is just a tool, Sulu is a ninja, and Kirk... Well, Kirk is apparently the smartest person in Iowa with a genius I.Q. and a pension for being a rebellious wild child.
And for a moment let's talk about the Leonard Nimoy cameo. Why it's got Leonard Nimoys endorsement it must be good! And look he even says some key Spock Quotes! OOOO...
Yeah so what. It is a cheap ploy to get the trekkies to spend their money on something that will very soon be universally known as the absolute worst Star Trek in history.
It's even worse then 5...
In my many years and dollars of going to see movies, I have only walked out on 1. Tonight was my second. I never in a million years thought that I would walk out on a Star Trek movie. Never. But I went in there expecting and knowing it would be a reboot...
I never imagined this being a slap in the face.
People who know nothing of Star Trek will probably love it. However when they go back to watch the originals, they wont get it.
People who love Star Trek will hate this, and be thankful that there will always be the series.
But you know? It's okay that Spocks mom dies! It's okay that Spock and Uhura are lovers, and that she throws herself at like a cheap call-girl, it's okay that Chekhov is even there and all these things are okay! Because it's an alternate time line! And that makes everything better!!!!!!!! True Fans, you have been warned. This is not anything remotely close to the Star Trek that we know and love. It is hurtful and near hateful towards the series that has inspired us to look up into the star and dream of boldly going where no man has gone before.
It is disrespectful towards all of the black woman who were inspired by Nichelle Nichols to rise above the stereotypes of that day and age and become more then what they told they could be.
It is a perversion towards all of us kids who dreamed of being Captain Kirk, and discovering new life and new civilizations. A Kirk who was a seasoned hero and not hot headed firebrand who was given command like being given an expensive sports car by a rich uncle.
And it is an insult to all of us who crave knowledge and that delicate balance between logic and emotion.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
boe_dye sez: against my better judgement... i saw it...
If there was a so-called work print edition, then I am amazed... The cgi and the effects in the theatrical edition were par with the standards of 10 years ago.
That bummed me out...
Let's keep going...
Gambit... Yeah... Thick suave Cajun. Nope, not here, instead we have a sort of young looking Johnny Depp like fellow who kinda goes in and out of a very watered down version of a French Quarter accent...
No "Mon Ami", or trademark Gambitness...
*****SPOILER******* Silverfox. She dies. Sabertooth kills her. YEARS AGO. There is no conspiracy in which she is involved in, and the White Queen is not her sister.
Deadpool. Ryan Reynolds could have been a great Deadpool. He's such a smart alec wise cracking sort.... And in the beginning it started out well, minus the mask, but then for no apparent reason, they started giving him all these powers. Cyclops eye beams, Wolverines Healing Factor, Wraith's teleportation (which in all honesty I don't know much about Wraith to begin with), Mystiques acrobatic fighting ability...
BARAKA FROM MORTAL KOMBAT'S SWORDS OUT OF THE ARM!!!!!!!!! (Yes, they turned him into Baraka!!!) Patrick Stewart - My God the man looked like the victim of botox therapy gone wrong and standing in the middle of an exploding wax factory. So bad in fact that he looked almost CGI.
Cyclops - You know... Why was he even in this? He didn't need to be in it.
Getting shot in the head with Adamantium bullets will make you lose your memory...
let's try this again...
GETTING SHOT IN THE HEAD WITH ADAMANTIUM BULLETS WILL CAUSE YOU TO LOSE YOUR MEMORY!!! I mean what is that? So now wolverine is walking around with two bullets in his skull and two matching holes? And lastly...
You would think that Victor could have called "Jimmy" AKA Logon, "Runt" at least once? And what was going on with him running up the walls? And for that matter what was up with Gambit being able to defy gravity? I thought his power was the ability to charge objects with kinetic energy! ****Spoilers End Here**** The only real redeeming factors of this movie is Hugh Jackman was born to play Wolverine. The man is a great actor. It's just a shame that he got stuck with such a crappy script and director.
Liev Shrieber. He is actually really great as Sabertooth. They both played their parts well.
And with the exception of everything else, which in all honesty is what made the movie the movie, it was alright.
The beginning started out well, and the credits were pretty good, showing Logan and Victor throughout history, but each subsequent scene after that just got worse and worse and worse.
Like driving your motorcycle from Canada to Reno Nevada in one day? The from Reno to New Orleans in a few hours? ...
Hollywood has once again failed me in a manner that makes me wonder: Why am I spending money at the movies anymore? Why am I even going out and wasting my money on big screen adaptations of my childhood that are only going to disappoint and criticize.
I can understand some nitpicking. I can understand some variations. But this is just at total departure of what was.
This movie would be great for a person who has no idea about wolverine or xmen... But for the fans that provided the bread and the butter for Marvel Comics all of these years, we are left once again standing on the outside looking in...
Crank: High Voltage (2009)
boe_dye sez: words can't even begin to describe this.
it is excellent for one reason and that is it's self evident styling that says we do not care what anyone thinks about us or this film. we are not making this film for Hollywood, we are not making this film for money. we are making this film because we can.
it is so absurd, so outrageous, and so hilarious that words can't even begin to say how great this was.
simply put, it's not even part 2. it's an extended version of part 1.
i haven't laughed that hard at a movie in a long time. my wife loved it, secret agent J loved it! this movie excels in not taking it self seriously.
when you have a situation where the hero of the story needs to shock the sh!t out of himself every 15 minutes by touching high voltage capacitors in a junction box, and then at one point has a fight sequence where he and the bad guy turn into 100 foot tall godzilla liked rubber masked combatants you realize that this movie is only for a select few people.
it's not serious. it's not even remotely well done. it's over the top, it's comedic, it's bloody, it's nudity, it's everything that Grindhouse wanted to be, but couldn't be because Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez have too much money are are too high up on the directing food chain to produce such a low budget film and make it work.
and in the end, that is what makes this movie well done...
i will most certainly purchase this on DVD when it comes out!