Reviews written by registered user

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24 reviews in total 
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29 out of 37 people found the following review useful:
Good Beat Em Up Cop Flick, 27 September 2004

Most people just don't understand movies.There are different movie genres,and none can really be compared to the other.Take this movie for instance - it's not " Hamlet " nor is it " Jason Goes To Manhattan ".Not to be crass,but Van Damme makes movies not for artistic value,he makes movies you can pop into your VCR or DVD Player when you feel like kicking someones ass.Think of his movies as " Primal Drama ". What's " Primal Drama ",you might ask ? It's movies that are made to appease your inner beast.Just as you might feel like screaming at someone, or breaking a chair over someone's head,you reach for a Van Damme or Stallone movie instead.Somehow,watching the hero in these simplistic displays of eccentric unbelievable melodrama makes life a little easier.Watch an emotional display of comic brutality, and somehow everything's alright again.Look at Van Damme's movies the same way you did Comic Books and you'll understand.Just like Comic Books,Van Damme movies will always have a place in the heart of the Alpha Male.Lowbrow for sure,fun nonetheless. ***** 7 out of 10 *****

The Cure (1995)
0 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
A Movie That Will Tug At Your Heart Strings, 10 July 2004

It's hard to put into words just how wonderful this movie is.Do you know those old clichés where people say " It will make you laugh,it will make you cry ? " Well,this movie will.This movie is about friendship,and the way we deal with difficulties that arise in life to the people we love and cherish.As I watched this movie, I found it deeply disturbing that as human beings we could be so loving and so cruel at the same time.I found myself wanting to know what makes one man good enough to judge another ? As a Christian,I stand for what I believe,but try not to judge my fellow man for what mistakes they might have made to put them in any given particular situation.Although I find homosexuality wrong,I find it even more sickening that my fellow man could put themselves in such a mythically high position to damn each other.Would Christ have done this ? I think not.

I also find it difficult to believe that my fellow man could judge a child,an innocent,as being guilty of anything whatsoever.There used to be a time when I wondered aloud to the Almighty why a child would have to go through such a hardship.My answer was much more simple than I could have ever known.The miracle that could have resulted in a cure could never equal the miracle that resulted from the way the individual was treated.Man learns by example,and what more could make a man humble than to see a child be so loving and selfless ? Truly what could equal a miracle that makes a man challenge his arrogantly bigoted behavior ? It just pains me as a human being that it would take something so dramatic to elicit such an emotional response. May God Bless All that watch this movie,and may it open all our eyes and hearts a little more.

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Wow,what an overblown complete mess of a movie., 13 May 2004

This is art ? Give me a break.If QT wanted to accomplish something remotely close to what I feel he was trying to do he should have viewed the old " Man Without a Name " trilogy.As it is,this movie is pretty damn horrible.The scenes jump around like an A.D.D. MTV Rap Video geared to fans of old " chop socky movies " with alot of gore.The main characters arent even likable.Uma Thurman as an ex-hitman ? Lordy,that's not even CLOSE enough to be CONSIDERED palatable.The three things I feel really killed this movie were as follows : 1 - Hitmen are not the most emotionally exorbitant people in the world.If someone did plan revenge on a fellow colleague the whole world wouldnt know about it until they were already stone cold dead.It's not believable that a professional killer would change tactics REGARDLESS of what happened to him/her.Not too logical or efficient. 2 - There is no way in hell anyone outside of Japanese heritage would EVER run the Yakuza.Period.ESPECIALLY a woman..unless there was an emergency,as when Shindo's ane-san ( his wife ) took over for him while he was in jail. This is as ridiculous as when Daredevil featured a Black man as the Kingpin of Crime.This isnt a racial statement people,it's just that the criminal element doesnt mix race or gender very well.It's kind of like a white guy running a Jamaican Drug cartel.Never happen on this planet....3- She sat in a guy's car ( the guy she killed ) for 13 hours yet the cops didnt come outside to look at the car after they found the two bodies ? Sure,sure,and I'm the King of England.Give me a break.How this bad of a movie could crack the top 100 blows the mind.Then again,considering the lack of widespread intelligence in the world it shouldnt surprise me.Some much for morality and good taste.The difference between Kung Pow and this movie ? Kung Pow was INTENTIONALLY funny.... *** out of Ten.Poor Movie,view at your own risk.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A Sci-Fi Classic., 6 April 2004

I'll make this short : This is one of the best Sci Fi movies ever made..Dont let the low special effect count fool you.The story more than makes up for it,and adds to the overall charm.Its very much like other sci-fi classics ; for example," Trancers, " and " The Road Warrior "....original.It's funny to see how technology has made a lot of film makers creatively lazy.Carpenter made this movie during a time when every little special effect had to be thought out.No " changing your mind and erasing the digital effects " here.The main character is a man known as Snake,played very low key by Kurt Russell.This is my personal favorite movie with Mr.Russell,although " The Thing " runs a close second.If you enjoy Post Apocalyptic Science Fiction,watch it,you wont regret it.

Not bad for what it is,but it's sure as hell not the comic, 13 January 2004

As a movie about a amalgam of literary characters it plays well,but dont expect more than your typical chop socky super heroics.Could it have been better ? No doubt,but it could also have been as bad as The Hulk.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Hilarious,goofy,and altogether likable movie.John Hughes hits a home run !, 13 January 2004

Very funny movie about a simple minded young man who's simply afraid to move out of his parents house because he doesnt want to be alone.To make up for his lack of an interesting life, he constantly lies to the only people who he can let his imaginative frustrations run wild with - the neighborhood kids,who idolize him.Does he realize this ? Of course not ! Will he ever learn ? ....Maybe.. Frank Whaley is hilarious as the inept but good hearted Jim Dodge,delusional liar and big dreamer.Jennifer Connelly is absolutely beautiful as the rich,understood Josie McClellan.John Hughes is brilliant once again,and this smart quirky story shows he truly understands what it was like to be young.Those who were in their twenties in the nineties will laugh their head off ( as well as wish they were and were not Jim Dodge at different points in the movie. ) If you liked Mannequin you should get a kick out of this as well.

The Getaway (2002) (VG)
1 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
***** Spoilers ****** This game is an exercise in frustration., 12 January 2004

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Let's see,we have a rated " R " plot and story set in a gangster style setting.Foul language abounds ( as to be expected in such an adult tale ),and you basically walk ( and drive ) around shooting people ( cops,bad guys,etc ) while you complete missions you're forced to do. Well,the story is decent,as is the voice acting.The characters are interesting, ( in a Guy Ritchie sort of way )and it has good what's wrong ? THE CONTROL.THE A.I. Basically it's like this : When you jack a car ( to lose the cops ),and nobody else is around, somebody tell me exactly how in the hell they know whatever car you are driving ?? Are they psychic ? Did they hire the amazing Ms. Cleo ? Who knows......but I'll tell you one thing,it's freaking irritating to be driving down the road ( hell,ANY road ! ) and have the cops ram you in whatever vehicle you could possibly get ! Other problems are as follows : Your partner ( later in the game ) is as dumb as a bag of hammers.In a hurry ? Car wrecked ? Want to hurry up and jack another car ? Nope.Why ? Because she wants to kill EVERYBODY before she'll get her sorry butt in the stupid car ! What's worse is when she just stands there like a Test Crash Dummy until you line the car up just right.What bozo decided THAT was a good idea ? I really could go on and on about how good it looks and sounds,( but how crappy it plays ) but I believe you people get the point.This game is as irritating as " Stuntman " ....( those of you who have played that little ditty understand now dont you ? )Unless you really want to beat your head in the wall and scream profanities more vulgar than those found in the game ( and there are some doozies let me tell you ALL the time )GET AWAY from " The Getaway " .My Lord man,this game makes Enter The Matrix look like a freaking masterpiece ! Ugh.

Spider-Man (2002)
0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Good movie with some minor annoyances.., 10 January 2004

I liked this movie quite a bit.It was fun to watch Spidey kick the crap out of the Goblin onscreen....BUT...I had " problems " with a couple of things...I love Sam Raimi's work,and I know he's a fan,so why take out Parker's web shooters ? Although it's mentioned that Pete is quite the bright boy the proof was never in the pudding....his missing web shooters.Raimi has been quoted as saying that " The audience wouldnt believe a kid could come up with something even Dupont couldnt. " ( his web fluid )Let me get this straight Sam old boy,you say the audience wouldnt believe Parker had the smarts to create web shooters, yet you expect them to believe a man can crawl walls like a Spider ? Give me a freaking break.They should have been there.Organic webs was a stupid idea.If it's not broke Sam,dont fix it okay ? The next " odd " thing I had problems with was the Green Goblin's suit.He looked like a Power Ranger.What was up with THAT idea ?!?! Oh,well.Thank God for good performances by Daniel,Kirsten, and Toby.If you like comic movies you'll enjoy this one.....just dont expect perfection,even from the brilliant Sam " The Evil Dead Man " Raimi.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
A True Romantic Classic, 10 January 2004

What can I say that hasnt been said a million times about this movie ? It is BRILLIANT.Meg Ryan is adorably high maintenance in her role while Billy Crystal plays a romantic Oliver Hardy.This movie is very funny, and when it talks of dating it really hits a home run.The way women see the world and the way men see it is brilliantly portrayed,as well as the struggles to understand one another.It all comes together in the obvious but tenderhearted climax.Hopeless Romantics everywhere unite -this one is for us.Now if only I could find a woman like Meg Ryan...

3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
A Sweet Little Romantic Movie., 10 January 2004

Boy this was a good date movie.D.B.Sweeney and Moira Kelly ( thump thump my beating heart !! She's a baby doll !! ) were a blast to watch.Their chemistry reminded me of the heyday of Moonlighting,when Bruce and Cybil were lighting the fireworks of sexual tension.I miss that show.Terry O'Quinn was great as Moira's father,and Roy Dotrice was hilarious as their trainer.If you like to watch two strangers from completely different backgrounds fall in love then you're in for a treat.Cliche,maybe,but altogether charming.If you are a romantic you'll end up buying it on DVD just as I have.Too bad neither actor/actress has been all that consistent.

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