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You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -I.M.
Want of confidence is the parent of moral imbecility and intellectual weakness. -B.Y.
I've changed by not changing at all.-E.V.
And not everybody is plotting to deceive, inveigle and obfuscate. -D.S.
Ray, when someone asks if you're a God, you say Yes! -W.Z.
Oh, I thought that a long-standing curiosity had just been satisfied. -D.S.
PITTSBURGH STEELERS SUPERBOWL XL CHAMPIONS -N.F.L.
My ladyship is not very encouraging. -Guppy
And I laugh at myself as the years roll down, 'cause it's the world I know. -E.R.
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore. -A.Y.
Watchin x-files with no lights on, we're dans la maison. I hope the smoking man's in this one -BNL
Young girl,...violins (ence)...center of her own attention -E.V.
Who's scruffy-looking? -H.S.
Should we be picking out china patterns or what? -F.M.
Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. -P
Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came. -G.P.
Already our minds are thinking as one. -P.i.B.
If you can't say something nice... don't say nothing at all. -T
KARL MALONE #32 GREATEST POWER FORWARD IN THE HISTORY OF BASKETBALL
Uh ... what she said, that's what I'm thinking, and, uh ... Yeah. -L.H.
Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior? -F.M.
You son of a motherless goat! -L.D.
I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. -S.S.
Sarcasm. Just one of the many services I offer. -A.V.
Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays? -K.B.
It's all right. I already have the squirrels. -C.C
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines now, do they? K.B.
Nothing's a drag, kid. Think about it. -L.L.
Badgers? Badgers?!? BADGERS?!? We don't need no stinking BADGERS!!! -R.H.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all drown? -K.B.
Women like silent men. They think they're listening. -K.B.
I was born a loser, but you're one by choice. -E.V.B.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity. -B.L.
You must have been a Betty, back in the day.
Back in the day. -M.H., D.S., F.M.
Now, all I really want to learn is forgiveness for you. -E.R.
You've got a dirty mind. -G.P.
Gee, you know that information... really would've been more useful to me yesterday. -R.H.
My life is brilliant, your life's a joke. -A.Y.
Oh, you're wrong, Agent Mulder. I can't tell you how wrong you are. How wrong you've always been. -CSM
Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for awhile. -D.P.R.
You know, I never thought I'd say this to you, Scully. But you smell bad. -F.M.
Sounds like crap when you say it. -F.M.
Truly you have a dizzying intellect. - M.i.B.
I wanna new duck. - A.Y.
There's no time! - R.J.
Well, maybe that The Field Where I Died episode. I could've lived without that just fine. -MnS
My baby's in love with Eddie Vedder. -A.Y.
I don't think it's live television, Scully. She just said *bleep*. -F.M.
The cart is shaken all to pieces, and the rugged road is very near its end. -C.D.
You're an invertebrate scum-sucker whose moral dipstick is about two drops short of bone dry. -FM
Steve Irwin(The Crocodile Hunter) We'll miss you. 1962-2006
Why didn't I think of that... when I was unconscious and bleeding from the head? -S.L.
Keep going, FBI woman. -F.M.
I sued Taco Bell 'cause I ate half a million chalupas, and I got fat. -A.Y.
I sued Panasonic...they never said I shouldn't use their microwave to dry off my cat. -A.Y.
I sued Delta Airlines 'cause they sold me a ticket to New Jersey. I went there, and it sucked. -A.Y.
I sued Ben Affleck...... aw, do I even need a reason? -A.Y.
I get my kicks above the waistline, sunshine. -M.H.
Excess ain't rebellion. You're drinking what they're sellin'. -C
Is this demonstration of boyish agility turning you on at all? -F.M.
I can think of something else I'd like to call you and put mister in front of that too. -F.M.
Do the words Orenthal James Simpson mean anything to you? -F.M.
You've never seen me panic. When I panic, I make this face . -F.M.
I do not gaze at Scully. -F.M.
Shall I come heckle you on your job? Make sure you count out the requisite number of McNuggets? -TAM
Whatever tape you found in that VCR isn't mine. -F.M.
I'll bet someone back east is going, 'Now why don't he write?' -Timmons
Nobody likes a math geek, Scully. -F.M.
Your homemade Star Trek uniform really ain't impressing me. -A.Y.
What's so special about you?! -B.D.
The FBI has nothing to hide. -D.S.
He's getting his ya-yas out. -D.S.
July 12th. My birthday. Not a snowball in sight. -B.C.
I still remember the way that you laughed when you pushed me down the elevator shaft. -A.Y.
You can't call it cheatin', 'cause she reminds me of you. -G.B.
Don't call me Junior! -I.J.
Why would I wanna eat liver? I don't even like liver! A.Y.
Life's river shall rise, she said. -E.R.
He who is tired of Weird Al is tired of life. -H.S.
Shut up! Red...neck...man. -H.R.
My work's illegal, but at least it's honest.& -M.R.
Are you sure it wasn't a girly scream? - D.S.
I want to believe. - F.M.
Name's MacGyver. - A.M.
I am the walrus. I am the walrus. Paul is dead. Coo-coo-ca-choo. -L.B.
We used to have swamps only the EPA made us take to calling them wetlands. - S.L.H.
Yeah, but I'm no Eddie Van Blundht either. Am I? - F.M.
Yes, Agent Mulder, I can read. - A.D.W.S.
If I heard 'Silent Night' one more time I was going to start taking hostages. - D.S.
Yeah, well, make sure I skip that friggin' meeting. - J.D.
Kim Manners We'll miss you. 1950-2009
PITTSBURGH STEELERS SUPERBOWL XLIII CHAMPIONS -N.F.L.
We're not going to Guam, are we? - F.L.
When someone says that they have people everywhere, you expect it to be hyperbole. -M
The ditch had a gun? -M.S.
There is no charge for awesomeness...or attractiveness. -Po
PITTSBURGH PENGUINS 2009 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS!!![PARTY]
Yeah well, you should still respect the dead. -H.R.
Do you want my Styrofoam peanuts? -A.Y.
Video games ruined my life. Good thing I have two extra lives. -?
I want a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooong jacket. -C
You hungry? How about failure for lunch? With a side order of unemployment. -T.W.
Fish heads, fish heads, roly poly fish heads. Fish heads, fish heads, eat them up, Yumm! - B&B
SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS 2010 WORLD SERIES CHAMPIONS!!![PARTY]
I may be surrounded by insanity but I am not insane! -W.R.
Excusez-moi, Qui a pete? -AY
Someone has to protect this family from the man who protects this family. - S.W.
They're screwing with the wrong people. - R.G.
Everyone has a plan 'till they get punched in the mouth. - M.T.
The X Files: My Struggle II (2016)
This is the end
This is the end is the tagline that adorns the opening credits for My Struggle II, the final episode of season 10. Does the tagline refer to the end of the beloved television series or to the pandemic that is beginning to kill off the majority of the world's population as seen in the episode? Considering that the episode ended on a cliffhanger, we can only hope that the X-Files returns for another round to see if Scully's vaccine will be enough to save humanity.
As My Struggle showcased Mulder's struggle with his wanting to believe in a government conspiracy of the existence of aliens, My Struggle II has a double meaning, serving as a sequel to the first episode, but also showing that Scully has a similar struggle. Except, in Scully's case, her struggle is to use science to make sense of and fight the paranormal elements she encounters in her work with Mulder. The amount of science in this episode is overwhelming, which I guess is to be expected when you see that the two co-writers of the story with Chris Carter are doctors. I was lost in all the science jargon being thrown around.
Agent Einstein, who was very irritating in the previous episode, proves to be a competent companion to Scully this time around. Scully slowly gets her to see the light of the conspiracy and the existence of aliens, or at least, alien DNA. Scully powers this episode while Mulder is mysteriously beat up, not communicating with anyone, and traveling on his way to a rendezvous with CSM.
This episode had some tense, exciting moments as the pandemic was spreading and Scully and Einstein were racing to find a cure for it. It had me on the edge of my seat for most of the episode. We got to see Agent Monica Reyes return, whom many fans despised in the original run. I don't think this episode helped her cause, as it is revealed that she became CSM's lackey to save her own neck from the upcoming pandemic. Scully refers to Reyes as a coward, which she is. Reyes decision is a bit baffling, considering how passionate she was toward Mulder's cause originally.
My Struggle II had a couple of goofy lines that I don't think Chris Carter really thought through before putting them in. Scully tells looters to stop it and go to the hospital. Right. Like they are just going to stop and listen to some red head running through the streets holding IV bags. Also, CSM tells Mulder that he summoned Mulder to him to invite him to be one of the elect saved. Mulder tells CSM that he doesn't come when CSM calls him. Ummm, yeah, Mulder, you just did that. Speaking of which, I thought Mulder would have already been protected from this pandemic, based on him being exposed to the alien virus and CSM saying Mulder was immune to the coming viral apocalypse in The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati. I guess not.
As much as I liked this episode, there wasn't enough Mulder in it, and definitely too little Mulder & Scully interaction. But, with the episode ending in a cliffhanger, it gives us hope that the X-Files will return someday or Chris Carter will have X-Files fans rioting in the streets, just like in this episode. If not, he will have given us one of the biggest cheats ever.
The X Files: Babylon (2016)
Wonders never cease with you.
As we begin to wrap up the miniaturized 10th season of the X-Files, one of the producers' goals became very apparent. They wished to pay homage to the original run and to acknowledge the large fan base that helped keep this series relevant and assisted in its return to television. The self-referencing has been obvious through the first five episodes and at times a bit distracting. It comes to a head in Babylon, when Mulder and Scully meet younger versions of themselves, in Agents Miller and Einstein, who come to them for help with a case. Agent Miller believes in the paranormal and Agent Einstein is a skeptic with red hair, and Mulder and Scully accept this coincidence as if it's perfectly normal.
That being said, Babylon is still an enjoyable episode, mainly for these self-referencing moments. However, if you came to watch the classic, creepy X-Files of days past, you will be sorely disappointed. Mulder and Scully each pair up with their opposite and try to get them to see the opposing point of view, showing the young agents that both science and the belief in the paranormal have a place in their investigations, and it's not just the one or the other.
In order to try to communicate with a comatose terrorist, Mulder seemingly convinces Agent Einstein to administer a hallucinogenic mushroom to him. It is later revealed that she only gave him a placebo, but Mulder still goes on a "trip". In this "trip", Mulder encounters Skinner, the Lone Gunmen, and the Cigarette Smoking Man. When I heard that the Lone Gunmen were going to appear in this season, I was wondering how they were going to incorporate them. It was kind of sad that they didn't have any lines, even in a dream sequence.
I don't have a lot to say about this episode. Once again, the monster of the week story takes a back seat to the Mulder and Scully dynamic, showcased this time by them interacting with the younger versions of themselves. A lot of fans are not going to like this and I understand their frustration. I got hooked on this show long ago because of the chemistry between Mulder and Scully, not because of the scary, paranormal stories. I think that is why I am satisfied with the tone of this season and why I give Babylon a pass, because any X-Files for me is better than no X-Files.
The X Files: Home Again (2016)
My son is named William, too.
When you think that Gillian Anderson can't be any more impressive in her portrayal as Dana Scully, you are proved wrong. Anderson shines in Home Again, as the weight of Scully's mother's critical condition weighs heavily on her mind and she struggles with her mother's decision to not stay on life support and calling for her estranged son instead of Dana.
If you are familiar with the Bible, you get a vibe from the prodigal son parable told by Jesus where the older son who was righteous is jealous of his younger brother who returns from wickedness and his treated like a king by their father who is just grateful that his younger son has returned. In this episode, Scully is questioning why her mother is calling for the estranged son and not for her two living children who have always been there for her. As Scully relates to Mulder, Margaret just wanted to make sure that Charlie, the estranged son, was all right. I think that is why Margaret was wearing the quarter around her neck. A quarter is worth ¼ of a dollar. Margaret Scully has four children, but 1 of the 4 is estranged from her and she is concerned for his well-being like any mother would be.
Scully breaks down as her mother passes away, which caused me to shed some tears. I think my tears were more for Scully's pain than for any concern for her mother, who I am not emotionally vested in. Once again, it was Anderson's performance that raised this episode up a notch. David Duchovny did a fine job as well, showing strong emotional support for Scully's crisis. And, at the end, Mulder just listens to Scully as she relates the crisis to their son William, not interjecting something dumb as men are prone to do.
The rest of the episode was an uninspired story of a creature killing people who were trying to move the homeless or keep the homeless out of their respective neighborhoods. The creature was brought to life by a homeless artist who molded him from clay. It felt like a retread of the season 4 episode Kaddish with a little bit of season 3's Grotesque thrown in for the clay-molding aspect.
Glen Morgan, who wrote and directed this episode, still has a great grasp on the Mulder-Scully dynamic, particularly the dialogue between the two. The story and direction, however, leave a bit to be desired. When Scully first learns of her mother's heart attack, she hustles down the stairs and they have the camera right in her face, bouncing along with her. I get what Morgan was trying to do there, but it just felt out of place and unnatural. Also, who is driving this garbage truck for this monster to move around in? I don't think the artist molded a giant truck from clay. The clay monster is supposedly protecting the homeless people according to the artist by killing the relocation agents, so how is killing the art thieves protecting them?
Scully's personal story and struggle is what makes this episode great and elevates an otherwise mediocre monster of the week story.
You forget, I'm immortal
Like many fans, I was highly anticipating the return of Darin Morgan to the X-Files. Darin has given us the classic gems of Humbug, Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose, War of the Coprophages & Jose Chung's From Outer Space. So, needless to say, the bar was set very high.
The episode starts off nicely with the stoners from his War of the Coprophages episode, who also gave cameos in Quagmire. Then, the episode gets weird in a very Darin Morgan-like way. I thought that during the first half of the episode it was trying too hard to be funny. Some of Mulder and Scully's lines seemed a bit forced and didn't really flow. Mulder was questioning his involvement in the X-Files and so on. Really wacky things were happening in a seemingly random way and I was starting to worry for the episode, because this did not seem like Darin Morgan.
Then, Mulder confronted Guy Mann and asked him to share his story, and that's when the episode really started to shine. Guy Mann's story of being a monster who turns into a man and how he was an innocent victim in all of this completely caught me off-guard. His version of events were hilarious, contradicting what we saw in the first half of the episode. It was Bad Blood-like in seeing the two versions of events. Rhys Darby was excellent in his portrayal of the Were-Monster/Guy Mann.
I appreciated Morgan's nods to passed away X-Files directors, Kim Manners and Jack Hardy, by having their names on the tombstones in the cemetery. Scully's reference to her immortality from Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose was a funny tongue-in-cheek line. It was also great to see that Mulder now has the same ring tone as I do, The X-Files theme.
While this episode started off slow and clunky, it really came full circle and showed us that Darin Morgan still has the comedic touch and Mulder & Scully Meet the Were-Monster is up to par with his past entries.
The X Files: Founder's Mutation (2016)
You Don't Like Cats?
Founder's Mutation is the first Monster of the Week (MOTW) of season 10, written and directed by James Wong, who also directed season 4's Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man, along with having many other writing credits with writing partner Glen Morgan. James Wong doesn't disappoint and gives us a solid entry in the X-Files catalog.
Mulder and Scully are investigating their first case after the X-Files has been reopened and they don't miss a beat. Mulder dives right back into old habits, stealing evidence from crime scenes, not once but twice, during the episode. The first time, Scully unwittingly provides the diversion necessary for Mulder to steal the victim's cell phone, as she appears shocked but not surprised by Mulder's action.
As the episode deals with children with genetic abnormalities and/or special abilities and the possibilities of the studies of a particular doctor being government-sanctioned using alien DNA, Mulder and Scully cannot help but think how it is possibly connected to their son, William. We are then treated to a daydream each from Scully then Mulder where they fantasize about a pleasant interaction with a school-aged William. But, each of their fantasies take a frightful turn, leaving them both to ponder whether a normal relationship would have been possible with their special and gifted son.
James Wong shows that he stills understands these two characters and their motivations towards their job and with each other, exhibited through their touching interaction about their son. Even though Wong was not around later during the William years, he has a good grasp on their struggle.
Mulder and Scully experience unhelpful local law enforcement, mysterious doctors, government cover-ups, paranormal activity (even Scully in Mulder's presence!) by weird kids who disappear, and nothing to show for it but a vial of blood. Just like old times! The classic X-Files feel is back with creepy visuals, haunting music, and great guest characters. All we need now is some rain and some trench coats.
The X Files: My Struggle (2015)
She's shot men with less provocation
After a 14-year hiatus not counting the second movie, the X-Files returns to the small screen. David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson reprise their iconic roles as our favorite FBI agents, Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. While not completely blowing us away, their return is strong and makes us look forward to what is to come.
The teaser is a typical dialogue-laden teaser common to mythology episodes and especially needed this time around to catch the casual fan back up as well as to introduce the show to (hopefully) a new generation of fans. Then the opening credits roll and I got chills. I love how they kept the original intro but with adding Mitch Pileggi in from the beginning. However, the font of their names seems to have changed. Just something I noticed.
Then, the show starts to bounce back and forth between Roswell, New Mexico, 1947, and present day. I was impressed with the special effects for the flashback scenes. Obviously, CGI technology as improved but it appears the X-Files got a larger budget this time around, based on past success. In present day, Mulder and Scully are no longer a couple as last shown in the second movie, but I think the explanation is a good one. It's sad, but I think it will work well for the show going forward.
The crux of this episode is Tad O'Malley's "new" conspiracy theory. It is that aliens did crash here, but a group of men have been using the alien technology to stage "alien abductions", not working with the aliens to assist them in colonization. Instead, this group of men's ultimate goal is to overthrow the United States of America. What is kind of surprising is that Mulder jumps headfirst into this new conspiracy, like he did with Kritschgau back in 1997, despite all the evidence to the contrary. I am very interested to see where Chris Carter, the show's creator, is going with this, as I just don't see him totally discounting everything we've seen the first nine seasons.
Finally, the mysterious shutting down of O'Malley's show along with the disappearance of a key multiple abductee, propels Mulder and Scully to jointly decide to wholeheartedly jump back into the fray at Skinner's invitation. The X-Files is reopened, an old oxygen-challenged friend reappears, and I couldn't be more excited that the truth is still out there.
My Girlfriend's Boyfriend (2010)
Clever and different!
I absolutely loved this movie. Daryn Tufts writes an excellent script that is different than the majority of the romantic comedies these days. I am always on the lookout for romantic comedies that aren't cookie-cutter predictable. Yes, you can almost always tell the two main leads are going to end up together, but this movie takes such an unexpected path, it's quite refreshing. Don't be dissuaded by the low score here on IMDb. The majority of the user reviews for this movie are very positive. I am quite surprised that this wasn't picked up by a major distributor like Napoleon Dynamite was by Fox Searchlight. It deserved to be. Finally, it was refreshing to see a cute and clever romantic comedy without the vulgar language and sexual situations. It hearkens back to Sleepless in Seattle in that manner. Give 'My Girlfriend's Boyfriend' a chance and let it touch your heart.
Heber Holiday (2007)
It's a bad sign when they make you change your title
I saw this movie advertised a couple of years ago as "Heber Holiday" but never saw it in theaters. I was waiting for it to come out on DVD so I could watch it on Netflix. I finally found it on Netflix, but under a different name, "Shooting Star".
The script was atrocious. It felt like dialogue was delivered just to advance the plot, even if it didn't fit in the scene at all. The characters weren't developed. Sierra was not properly established as a diva. Plus, Torrey Devitto isn't a very good actress. It was not believable that she could demand $10 million a film. Except for KC Clyde and Erin Chambers the acting by the rest of the cast was horrible. I couldn't tell if this movie was trying to be serious or intentionally cheesy. The characters of Scott and Hound were way over-the-top, which may have been fine in a spoof, but not in a serious film, as I think this film attempted to be. A lot of the music was out of place and poorly edited. At one point, the camera changed to a wavy style for no reason, that almost made me seasick. This is one of the worst LDS-made films I have seen. It's no wonder it didn't make it out of Provo.
Napoleon Dynamite With Pirates
I finally got the opportunity to rent this movie on Netflix. I'd been wanting to see it for a while. I'm a big Kirby Heyborne fan so this was on my list. I was quite disappointed. It felt like they were trying to go for Napoleon Dynamite with pirates. Now, if you liked Napoleon Dynamite, this movie will be right up your alley. I hated Napoleon Dynamite, so the stupidness just didn't do it for me. There were a few clever lines scattered throughout the movie, but not enough to keep my interest going. I actually fell asleep during a 7-minute stretch.
Kirby Heyborne does do a great job as Kirk and so does Trenton James as Flint. However, Larry Bagby's stuffed-up-nose portrayal of the pawn shop guy was just irritating.
If you're looking for something Napoleon Dynamiteesque, this is your movie. If not, steer away, far away.
I Wanted To Believe
Like every other X-phile out there, I was excited to learn that Chris Carter & co. were going to bring us another X-Files story in the form of a big-screen movie. After the cliff-hanging series finale 6 years earlier, I was anxious to see what had become of my two favorite FBI agents and their associates.
The opening teaser, if you will, gets the movie off to a good start. It's dark and creepy, while apparently simultaneously the FBI is doing a search of a large snow field. An FBI agent is kidnapped and unrelated body parts are being found.
So, the FBI is investigating this case and a priest with psychic powers comes forward with his visions about the case. Are Doggett and Reyes investigating this case? No. Are they brought in to help because of their X-Files experience? No. Is a sentence even mentioned on their whereabouts? No. Where is Skinner or Kersh? Nope. No mention of them either. Agent Dakota Whitney, played by Amanda Peet, feels the best move is to bring in Agent Fox Mulder, who has been an FBI murder fugitive for the last 6 years. She somehow convinces the FBI to drop the murder charges in exchange for Mulder's services and insight. All is forgiven. I don't buy it. Scully is now back working as a doctor and the FBI apparently isn't concerned about her being an accomplice to Mulder either.
Moving on, Chris Carter gives us blatant nods to Mulder's character with a pan up to pencils in the ceiling and a close-up shot of him eating sunflower seeds. It's like the camera has its own personality and it's saying, "Hey, look! Mulder still likes sunflower seeds and throwing pencils in the ceiling!" A few minutes later, there is a close-up shot of George W. Bush while the X-Files theme plays. It's cheesy and a bit puzzling.
Although Gillian Anderson's and David Duchovny's acting is top-notch as always, Scully does a couple of things out of character. First, she scoffs at Father Joe for asking forgiveness for his sins. She's a woman of strong faith but she doesn't believe in forgiveness? I don't think so. And then, when they are becoming frustrated about the case, Scully brings up Mulder's sister again. She says he is still searching for her. Mulder came to peace with his sister's death in season 7's 'Closure'. Scully should know better than that.
Scully being a doctor and struggling with her faith adds a different angle to the show, since she's not full-time with Mulder. It kind of gives a season 9 feel to it. I'd like to say that the side story of the boy with cancer was compelling and drew me in, but I can't. I want the meat and potatoes, Mulder and Scully investigating a case together.
The movie is filled with several inconsistencies; Agent Whitney saying Mulder several times then saying "Fox" at the very end; the Russian guys all of a sudden speaking English at the end when they have been speaking in Russian up to that point; the ground is covered with snow during the entire movie, then Mulder's house has green grass; and finally, Skinner shows up in the final 15 minutes? I think he would've seen Mulder a lot sooner if Mulder was supposedly in hiding the last 6 years.
A special nod goes to Mark Snow for once again doing superb music for this movie. He sets the mood perfectly. Amanda Peet and Xzibit give decent, non-memorable stock performances as the investigating agents.
Overall, as a suspenseful, murder mystery this is a decent movie. However, as an X-Files story it disappoints. I left the theater with an empty feeling. "This is it?" I felt. Chris Carter and Frank Spotnitz had all this time to come up with a good "monster of a week" story and we get some body parts stealing with a pedophile priest with visions. After a 6 year hiatus, the X-Files deserved a better story that was more carefully written. Important issues were either ignored or poorly explained.
I want to believe that Chris Carter will get one more chance to bring some closure to this saga that is more befitting Mulder and Scully and the X-Files universe.