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--better than crack, it's good for you!
YOU'RE NOT PAID TO THINK
A mindless worker is a happy worker
Now shut up and do your job
I go for the bassists
because we all know that
BASS PLAYERS DO IT WITH RHYTHM
quizzes are fun!
Which Archangel Are You?- your results:
You are Azrael, Death's Bright Angel, the Angel of Death. You write in your book of names all who are born, and when they die, if they are destined for heaven, circle their name in light. If they are damned, you circle it in darkness. Your element is Spirit, your colors are Grey and Black, and your direction is upwards.
- [p. 7/9] Azrael is not a reference to Gargamel's cat in the Smurf cartoons. Rather, both Azraels are references to the Islamic Angel of Death, supposedly the very last creature to die, ever. In the actual legend, Azrael is bound in chains thousands of miles long, and possesses millions of eyes: one for every person that has ever lived or will ever live. When a person dies, the eye in question closes forever, and when Azrael goes blind it will be the end of the human race.
I am the angel of death. The time of purification is at hand.
-Springfield power plant worker
Guidelines for minions in the Cult of Azrael:
"there's nothing wrong with being a minion anyway [biggrin] if you're a minion you should stand up and be proud of your minionship." [hehe]
--from the mouths of babes, ie: squirrel [biggrin]
do�min�ion Pronunciation Key (d-mnyn)
Control or the exercise of control; sovereignty: �The devil... has their souls in his possession, and under his dominion� (Jonathan Edwards).
If you were to meet Trevor in a pub he may be sat in a corner with his tongue is some beautiful woman's ear. If Aeon were in the pub also, you would be dead for this would no doubt be the scene of some bloody battle.
Cigarette + eye = bad
The grave is lonely, but living is worse
Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
FREEZE MOTHER-STICKERS! THIS IS A F-CK UP!
( I walk into the forest and what do I see? A f-cking monkey pissing on me. So I aim my cock at sixty degrees, and blow that f-cker right out of the tree.)
Any thing with sharp teeth eats meat. [roll] Most powertools have sharp teeth. [weird] People are made of meat. [uhoh]
"When I die, I want to die like my grandfather -- who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car."
"What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?"
"Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar."
"It would be awsome. I'd be like, 'Hit me, hit me please, no I'm serious, hit me.' Then once they leave evidence, I'd just pull out my gun and shoot them in the knee."
--Christina Ricci is a f-ckin' GODDESS
"Beware! I am a carrier of Surrealism!"
The Pennyfarthing Diaries
"Every worker, no matter what race, will have a cumbersome bicycle!"
With a combination of advanced technical skills and regressive social skills the Gunmen find themselves trying to unravel complex mysteries, usually in competition with the lovely and whip-smart Yves Adele Harlow (Zuleikha Robinson), all the while trying to scrape enough money and time together to publish their weekly newsletter.
--the Lone Gunmen RULE
PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Il sangue � la vita... ed � la morte
[white] bleeding hearts, bleeding parts
"liberate tutemae ex universitas."
"Kh'liorah brax/Niorah brax-/kahs'khiori th'thya."
"What is it with artists and bone structures?"
You lead Hell. I'll just make the minions do obscene things.
[mjeyds] "Why do you hang out with that sadist?" [hide] "Beats me."
I'm glad you're happy watching my pain, burning crop circles on my soul's waves of grain. We had no love scene but you've cut to the chase, you're chopping off my nose to spite my face. Ow, my nose! Ow, my face! Ow, my nose! Ow, my face! Ow...
Why do people always lie to me? When I ask about their traumatising pasts, I�m not being mean, I just wanna know how to banish the f-cking spirit killing off their relatives. Idiots.
"I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life."
- Jhonen Vasquez
While the cancellation of ZIM came as a bit of a dissapointment, it finally allows Jhonen to have some free time to work on more comic books and various other projects he has had to put off. It will also allow him the chance to partake of that mythical ritual often heard only in whispered rumors... called... sleep.
"Sleep, those little slices of death, how I loathe them."
--au contraire Mr Edgar Allen Poe, how I adore both.
"If brody is a woman she is the ugliest one I've ever seen!! :oO "
"You were born an original. Don't die a copy. There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. So mine's a double and I'll see you all in hell suckers! Hail Satan."
--Murdoc Niccals, 7th June 2002
The Festival of the Tooth Kandy is a beautiful city in Sri Lanka. On a small hill is a great temple which was especially built to house a relic of the Buddha - his tooth. The tooth can never be seen, as it is kept deep inside may caskets. But once a year in August, on the night of the full moon, there is a special procession for it.
MARC QUINN is best known for Self (1991), a model of his head made from nine pints of his frozen blood, now on show at the Saatchi Gallery in County Hall, London. More recently, Quinn created a model of his four-day old son's head, made from his girlfriend's liquidised placenta.
"The Hokey Pokey, by William Shakespeare:
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within Then soon upon a backward journey lithe. Anon, once more the gesture, then begin. Command sinistral pedestal to writhe. Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke, A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl. To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke. Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl. The Hoke, the poke - banish now thy doubt Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about."
Jeff Brechlin, of Potomac Falls, Va., winner of a Washington Post
contest to write a series of instructions in the style of a famous
This haiku sucks, but
So does my boyfriend, Roger.
He does it so well!
--Happichappi (indeed he is)
I tried to handcuff you to my bedpost
Was it the cold of the metal chafing your wrists
Or is it only your pride that made you resist?
The things people do to cheer me up [biggrin]
An Ode to Az - My #1 Girl
I undo your corset
Whilst you slide down my pants
I cover you with honey
And leave you for the ants.
Our passions aflame
Stings like a bite of an asp
The candle wax drips on your chest
Did I forget to switch off the gas?
Making love in a coffin
Tempting Death with our love's life
Struggle hard, my precious
And you'll find the tip of my knife
The razor slides swiftly
The blood falls like rain
Our bodies connect
And find pleasure in pain
Jack loved his women
And I Love You too
From Hell we'll walk the aisle
And each say I Do
Love you, babes [kiss]
Ode to my cat wot woz run over last week.
Oh flat cat!
Now you're like a mat.
Your meow was once so sweet;
now silent as I wipe my feet
upon your furry coat now spread
across the hall because you're dead.
Oh flat cat!
I feel like such a rat.
I should never have let you out
When your traffic skills were in doubt;
but I'll take care of you for eternity,
with regular washes of 40 degrees.
There was a weird person named Azrael
Who loved to make things be surreal
She wanted to be a goth
but instead became a moth
That weirdo named Azrael
brachiosaurs are cool
and so is nenya
if beardcal decides
to act like a fool
don't worry nens,
i will defend ya
Priapus. Amaimon. Serat.
--the Lament Configuration
http://www.cenobite.com/influ/movie.htm bleeding hilarious.
Entertaining film of God-like proportions (enough with the puns already!)
In terms of the films in the Askewniverse, it is hard to decide which is better (this is for me, personally): Dogma or Chasing Amy. They are probably equal on my list, then next comes Clerks and Mallrats (I loved them, but not as much as Dogma or Chasing Amy). I found that Dogma brought up many interesting ideas related to religion, faith and belief, avenues of thought I'd never explored before; and when it comes to great beings in the sky, who knows. Maybe all the stuff in the film is probable. I LOVED Loki (Matt Damon), his passion for smiting coupled with a conscience and sympathy for humans. Darn, the rest of the cast is blindingly fantastic as well; but I found that one of the best performances in the film was from Ben Affleck. Maybe this film just reminded me that he has actually done some really great stuff (lets not mention Pearl Harbour, shall we). I've seen this film about ten times, and each time is still as entertaining as the last.Altogether, Dogma was as unique and amazing as the platypus (wink wink...hey, I'm an Oz native. I'm feeling patriotic).