Reviews written by
Spider-Lou

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141 reviews in total 
Index | Alphabetical | Chronological | Useful

8 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
I am a Spider-Man purist, but I still liked this series, 1 November 2005

For anyone who has watched the Ralph Bakshi-produced seasons of the 1967 Spider-Man series, you'd know that Spider-Man had been in some very, very strange situations. In SMU it was similarly strange how he was removed from his NYC street element and dropped into an alternate, animal-run Earth created by the High Evolutionary. While I disagree that Spider-Man would abandon his responsibility to his own world, once he gets to the alternate world, he takes on that responsibility in stride.

The animation of SMU was actually quite excellent, and a major improvement over the habitually herky-jerky animation of the 1994-1998 show. Spider-Man's costume and villain Rogue's Gallery were given an upgrade, but his wit and humor remain intact. The stories/plots were unique and attention-grabbing with tight writing and dialogue.

I think the main problem with this show was that no one recognized or really liked Spider-Man in that 2099-like costume. That and it was pit against the height of Pokemon popularity. But I liked watching each episode when I could, and I would like to see them all in a DVD collection.

No Man's Land 23 (1998) (V)
3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Both this video and the fact I'm doing this review is embarrassing., 31 October 2005
1/10

On IMDb, I've noticed authors that review only pornography with a few mainstream or vice versa. Since this will be my first review of a pornographic feature, I guess I fall into the vice versa. Hopefully, none of my female friends will read this.

I usually don't see or review sequels before I see the original, but since I'd have no time, and some morals, I will not sit through the first 22 No Man's Lands. Now, when I do view porn, I prefer less talking, more screwing. Not only is this crap scripted, but also it has a bunch of only lesbians using big words in a "plot" where it justifies their actions.

Except perhaps Crystal Knight, all of these female performers look like normal, everyday girls, Even so, I've met hotter lesbians in real life, and that's the problem with this video. With this crop, it's no surprise they are lesbian! The lesbian sex is just, really, really disappointing, with one particularly wretched scene with a couple of girls at a bar or wherever.

I got this DVD for a little over $3, thank goodness. It reminds me how have a lot of growing up to do, but hopefully submitting this negative review is a catalyst toward maturity.

36 out of 43 people found the following review useful:
11 years of bad movies=11 years of wonderful comedy, 19 October 2005

Did you ever want to just knock a really bad movie, but you never could because not only did you pay $8-10 for it, but well, you paid $8-10 for it, you idiot! My God, there have been really, truly bad movie candidates since this show ended, that could have wound up on this wonderful comedy series.

I've always considered MST3K to be the best two hours of television each week, even though a large percentage of those two hours was horrible cinema. There aren't a whole lot of TV series that can be successful using that format. But MST3K did it for eleven straight seasons.

At first it was Joel Hodgson with two cute robots named Tom Servo and Crow stranded on a Satellite by two mad scientists. It was an experiment to see if the poor guy goes insane by watching the worst movies ever. It is strangely synonymous with what Hollywood often does to us.

In order for him to maintain sanity, he is helped by the robots to goof on scenes from the movies while they sit in the theater. The jokes are topical, self referential, nostalgic, spot-on and drop-dead hilarious. Just keep an ear open, remember you're listening to two tracks, but Joel and Co. are more crucial to the comedy. The movie is already bad.

Mike was good in the Satellite, and Joel even made a guest appearance during Mike's run. There are so many horrendous movies that these guys saw, but as every MSTy knows, the cream of the crap was "Manos, the Hands of Fate" AKA "Hands, the Hands of Fate." Bad is too simple an adjective for this film, and I felt very, very sorry for the residents of the Satellite of Love.

This show must come back, with the catchy theme song and everything. Every bad movie that comes out is a public cry for it to return to television.

4 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Much, much more than meets the eye, 19 October 2005
8/10

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

This is not just one of my favorite animated movies, but it is one of my favorite movies of all time. It is spun off from one of my favorite animated series of all time. I saw it first run in the theaters, and it was an unforgettable experience.

It is a PG rated, violent, strongly language movie that starred the Transformers, for crying out loud! Many of the Autobots that I had come to love had been wiped out in the first ten minutes. And Optimus Prime had kicked serious ass, wiping out his share of Decepticons. It was a perfect stage for the final battle between Megatron and Optimus, turning out to be an awesome slugfest. Too bad Optimus had to die as well.

With the introduction of all the new characters, this could easily have been just a feature length commercial for the Hasbro toys. However, we are treated to a wonderful American anime, with very likable characters, witty dialogue, and action scenes that draw you in.

Also being way ahead of it's time, was the casting of big name actors, at least, for 1986. Judd Nelson, Robert Stack, Leonard freakin' Nimoy as Galvatron and Orson freakin' Welles as planet-eating Unicron! Very cool! This movie has enough entertainment, and visual enticement in its short running time to entertain even the most snobby movie-goer. It is a lot more than meets the eye.

"Taradise" (2005)
18 out of 26 people found the following review useful:
Tarable Taravesty, thankfully Tarashed, 18 October 2005

Curiosity got the best of me when, for some reason E! decided to early promote this traveling series starring the rapidly fading starlet Tara Reid. It was a very nice idea to send someone to different countries and sample the culture, cuisine and nightlife. The problem is that if the creators had found a host with a *personality*, it might have worked a whole lot better.

Instead of beautiful, charismatic women with sex appeal such as Brooke Burke or Jenny McCarthy, we got the dopey, scratchy voiced Tara. Her smoking and drinking and bad plastic surgery make her hardly credible to host such a big budget, well researched travel show. Such a shame, because they really explored stunning countries.

If you watched it, it was for the train wreck that was Tara. You'd have to have watched *around* her to find any true value.

10 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
A look at what is now landfill, 22 June 2005

If Steven Spielberg didn't sue Atari for mocking one of his best movies ever, he sure should have. Here is the absurd plot: a silhouetted version of E.T. patters around aimlessly through the woods to make a phone to go home. Some evil agents stand around menacingly to catch him. His neck grew for no reason sometimes. He ate little pellets that were probably Reese's Pieces. Eliot could resurrect him, etc.

Okay, it was somewhat interesting. But this video game was still so all over the place, you had to play it nearly every day to figure it out.

True, it needed to be rushed to stores by Christmas. If only they had planned ahead of time as they do today! Because this is one sad VG, Atari or not, best left forgotten. Watch the original movie.

Malcolm X (1992)
5 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
X-cellent., 3 May 2005

It's common knowledge, a least in entertainment circles, that Spike Lee is probably the most racially biased director in Hollywood. Given the fact that Malcolm X Shabazz had actually changed his anti-white focus, it surprises me that he would accept a chance to adapt his autobiography. No, I'm not being sarcastic.

I maintain that the first hour of this 3-hour long movie is the weakest. All that dancing and overacting just didn't sit well with me, especially the completely out of context Rodney King video during the opening credits. I'm sorry, call me the white devil for saying so, but Rodney King was a complete jerk, and deserves no credence in such an important biography.

But once Malcolm is imprisoned, the movie takes off and becomes most powerful. We learn of his devotion to the Nation of Islam, and how he took off as a public advocate to pro-black and anti-white. The man was a rebel, even pushing the Nation to its limits. You can feel his devotion, his passion as a black man, and while his views weren't always right, they were indeed justified. The betrayal and persecution by the Nation is also not sugarcoated. Actually, nothing is sugarcoated except the reason Malcolm Little went to jail.

Of course, the incredible acting from Denzel Washington is important here. The actor actually transformed into Malcolm X for this movie. As I previously mentioned, he conveyed all that Malcolm X was, all of his rage and love. It is an incredible performance, worthy of the Oscar. But no, he won for playing a corrupt police officer. Can't anyone figure out the Academy's logic? Anyway, he is not alone. Angela Basset is excellent as Betty Shabazz, his devoted wife. The entire supporting cast also is real and knew the material had to be done right.

I am no fan of Spike Lee, but I do commend his directorial efforts at least in the last two hours. His style (and personal politics) do not overwhelm the historical significance of the man. The most effectively directed scene was the moments leading to his tragic assassination. The whole sequence was dysphoric and sad.

Get past the first hour of Spike-Me, and you've got one superb story of one of the most important men in American Civil Rights history. Strongly recommended.

11 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
I guarantee this was a good show., 3 May 2005

Of all the shows and movies I've watched, I'm not surprised that I include this cooking show on my IMDb list. It starred an elderly Cajun chef named Justin Wilson. In print, that may not sound very appealing. However, the old dude had a hell of a personality, and an even more interesting diet. (He cooked *turtle*!) This guy actually trumps Emeril because instead of being in-your-face, Justin was laid back and casual. With a charming accent he always said his catchphrase "I guarantee!" Occasionally, he told his audience "stories," that is, jokes, but those were hit or miss.

No matter what, his Cajun meals were mouth-watering and unique. And not once did Justin Wilson ever truly measure the hot sauce or wine that went into the dishes; another part of his appeal. I hope the Food Network gets the rights to these reruns. He may no longer be with us, but his food lives on.

6 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Entertaining and...educational?, 3 May 2005

In the mid 90s, the FCC mandated that Saturday morning network broadcasts must have certain amount of hours devoted to educational content. Well, the networks responded with unfortunate results. However, by the time "Ozzy & Drix" premiered, no one seemed to care that this entertaining show actually fit the FCC's bill.

The show is a spin off from the movie "Osmosis Jones." The lead character Osmosis Jones is a white blood cell, and Drix is a cold pill, who strangely enough, doesn't dissolve. However, instead of having the two in Frank the adult, they are transplanted by a mosquito to a twelve year-old boy named Hector. This leaves plenty of room for fun stories.

I am very pleased how the writers of this series researched the intricacies a human child's body. Hector is depicted as the unluckiest kid in the world, for all his illnesses and accidents. But that only serves the measures Ozzy, Drix, the H.P.D., and a young mayor must do to save him.

There *are* some sci-fi exaggerations to Hector's afflictions and subsequent healing. Regardless, it had a lot more educational content than most of the WB lineup, which still has freakin' Pokemon and Mucha Lucha.

2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Rudy Huxtable all grown up..., 12 April 2005

...and she's f'in HOTT!! Sorry, that was all I got out of this movie after I left the theater. If it was more than just filler, then I probably...still would have bit my knuckles like Lenny from "Laverne and Shirley" every time Keshia Knight Pulliam stood in a shot.

So, this movie doesn't really give us anything in terms of plot or characterization. While I've enjoyed many films like that, this one seems to be deliberate. Lots, and I do mean *lots*, of subplots arise, end and ultimately, don't gel. The comedy is weak, with the butt of the jokes on, well...butts. (I don't want to see a ghetto booty on Andie Macdowell!) It basically fails at being the female version of "Barbershop."

Except for Queen Latifah, who isn't given a whole lot to work with anyway, the actors are wasted. Alfre Woodard is too good an actress to be poorly reciting Maya Angelou. Kevin Bacon is funny at times, but is also too talented to be comic relief. I also had a major problem with Alicia Silverstone's character, thrown in solely because she is the white southern girl trying to fit in. She is not even challenged like the white character Isaac is in the first Barbershop. It's is when she can dance and ended up dating the black guy who works there, that she is accepted, even called black. It was a cheap out for her character to be different from her "Barbershop" male counterpart.

Incidentally, I once conversed with an African American woman who owns a beauty shop in Newark. She said the stylists have to pay attention to their work. They are all about the customer, and have no room for distraction. So I also had that on my mind while I watched the movie, then the catering truck waltzed into the shop, the radio deejay was constantly on, and the women are laughing and yakking. I thought "Hey, these customers must leave with bad hairstyles!"

"Beauty Shop," unlike Keshia, is not a beauty. But I can't wait for the spin off: "Booty Shop" starring her as the manager of a strip club! Yeah!

Who am I kidding, that'll never happen. Damn.


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