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On earth you ain't got time to scream!!! (One small step.. in the right direction), 7 February 2008

I almost gave this film a far greater rating out of ten... mainly because of the trashing it has been given. However I felt that I had to be honest in my review or what was the point of it!? Once again I admit I got my hopes up for this film and once again I ignored my logic of listening to my heart and not my head! The unforgettable rule... excellent trailer, disappointing film. In my anticipation i must have watch the red band trailer several times and the official trailer just as many! The trailer was excellent! When I was younger, script and directing were very far down my list on a film, really it was all about the monster and the action! The thing this film hits on is the fantastic effects, the Predators are back to their basics and look the part as to the Aliens. I was dreading (no pun intended) the Pred-alien, worrying it would be a calamity of something like the new born in Alien Resurrection. I was very much pleased with the out come! Even the CGI looked pretty solid, possibly the odd point of obvious computer graphicary shone through but it is a very solid effort. If I was the age I were when I first saw predator or predator 2 (underage) I would of loved this one for a very long time indeed. This film I feel is more for that child in me that loved the imagination and the look of the creatures and the horror and power they would have on life if a part of reality.

However the child in me seems to be a blood thirsty one, so he was very happy! Though I question how this was a 15 in the UK... and maybe slightly worried it was! This was a blood soaked death affair which you do need in an Alien or Predator film. Some very cool deaths indeed pulling no punches what-so-ever! I have to say though even I was shocked as a couple but hey I guess I'm getting old! If you're expecting... do not watch this film! ;) While this ticked my boxes on action and blood (double ticked on the blood) I realised that the that's all the budget seemed to be on. The dialogue and acting was terrible, I'd sunk in my chair with embarrassment! On a lighter note this did mean I was definitely routing for the monsters from another planet!!! At least the government of the film realised the acting was so poor they decided to take out the whole town! Another problem I found was the directing. Though the action sequences were very well done I found the dialogue scenes just didn't work, i feel this might be the fact of brothers were possibly fresh off directing music videos but the cutting of the character conversing was just poor!? (worse than the grammar in this review) The film was also a bit on the too dark side, which was a shame to fact we missed out on some of the brilliant special effects. Another problem I found was there was absolutely no suspense to this film! I didn't mind this too much, it takes you on a ride and keeps the action fast and pacey but I just wasn't scared or worried or nervous. I watched and love or hated! This got me thinking, this could be a film that was maybe trying too hard to please the fans who were let down by the original. Trying to please everyone by having as much key iconic moments in one film as possible. From a signature skinning to a tough chick in a tank!? It's good attempt, gory & fast paced, definitely a step in the right direction for effects and creating a broader scale. However the more I think about and dissect it, the more black holes I find. It was almost like they read my review on the first AVP and made the changes I complained about... but they ignored everything else that was fine with the last one! I think one reviewer put it best, awful film, excellent movie!!! Brain go in fridge for this one! Fanboy's should be satisfied with this one as it's like an inner child has created it. Film geeks however won't enjoy the trashy scale! I still want more though of this franchise because if it's been this bad it can only get better! Just needs work on the suspense and acting and the finer details... possibly a bit more soul! I'll end with an 'on my knees begging' to the film industry! In the next one can the main hero be played by Bill Paxton please!!! He's been killed by Aliens and decapitated by Predators, I'd think it would be brilliant he managed to survive them next time! Plus he can act! P.S. Was it me or did anyone notice that the predator skinned around the meat n two veg when we see the body being zipped up in the body bag???!!! Or am I just warped!? Answers on a postcard...

59 out of 85 people found the following review useful:
Better than you'd expect!!!!, 5 April 2007

Last week i took the girlfriend to see '300', this week it was her turn to pick the film... her choice... Mr Beans Holiday. I wasn't too impressed with this but fair is fair! I couldn't remember much of the first film but wasn't expecting to be blown away or enjoy it to be frank! However i was pleasantly surprised and am not ashamed to admit i enjoyed it. Don't get me wrong, this is no classic but it is a enjoyable film. The first thing i liked was the fact it wasn't set in America, so i didn't have to listen to a number of Americans try to explain who this Mr Bean character was! I didn't laugh out loud, but I did chuckle along at the jokes and enjoyed some of the darker aspects such as the mobile phone gags! When i saw Karel Roden pop up early on in the film i chuckled to myself as he filmed the camcorder... thinking back to the film '15 minutes' (if you've seen it you'll understand what i mean) This helped me loosen up and allowed me to enjoy the film. Also loved the whole Carson Clay in love with himself film moment near the end.

I loved Black Adder, but was only a Mr Bean fan when i was very young, as an adult i have to say i'd grown out of it! This however made me reminisce and remember how good a comedian Rowan Atkinson is! The director also deserves credit too, as he keeps this story nicely edited through-out and lets the adventure unfold at a nice pace. Mr Beans love interest also deserves credit for being very easy on the eye! I won't go on about this film much, but basically don't just cross it off as something you'll hate. This is a loving, nice, and light-hearted affair, though strange in places it fits itself as a film that is good enough to sit through and enjoy. So if it's a rainy day sit back, relax and watch! A basic film comedy for all the family!

300 (2006)
3 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Me man, me watch film!, 29 March 2007

This film is not a piece of art as some may say... it is well constructed, beautifully filmed, and will grab your attention! The imagery is amazing, as through-out the film i never once looked towards a background or back drop and thought 'thats just a green screen or cgi effect' even though i knew it was! I also have read people, namely first viewers and critics, walked out of the cinema angry and shouting things about the film on a political scale, comparing to our present world and events with Iraq... etc. I feel they have missed the point entirely on this one (unless the director or Mr Miller had other ideas in which i will kindly step back on). This is made for just damn right fun! To me, this is a type of film i have been missing in my life for a while now in my local cinema... a good old fashioned 'blokey movie'!!! In the eighties and nighties we had Arnie, Stallone, Van Damme creations! General films in which we would get one main genre... action! These films would be cool, but cheesy, with cool, but cheesy one liners, and have a cool, but generally cheesy, one man army or against the odds type of plot. Really nothing that springs to my mind in this decade of cinema has filled this void. (but do let me know if i've forgotten any.... the matrix was 1999 and the sequels were, lets face it, money hungry let downs, just in case anyones thinks of that one!!!) This has violence, action, and nudity in a nice tidy bundle of fun and joy!... no swearing that i can remember though now thinking about it, or nothing that struck out to me (does 'whore' count?!)! This is for a male audience mainly, and why not? we get to take the ladies to something that isn't a 'chick flick' or 'girlie friendly'. They can look at big musclely dudes while we (the guys) watch the musclely dudes chop each others arms, legs,and heads off! 'Come on luv, Who needs wimpy, well spoken Orlando when you can enjoy this bunch of bloodthirsty beefcakes!!!! WAAAARRRRR!!!' The director impresses me, i enjoyed 'Dawn of the running around Dead' and i enjoyed this film even more. He's managed to use Frank Miller and place him into his own possible genre of 'Miller Time!'(please don't sue) Anything this guy creates through graphic novel must be filmed in this style, namely green screen! (Thank you Robert, good shout!) This is a nice and enjoyable touch of epic fun, ignore history fact and give us the basic idea fiction! I'm not here to learn much, i just want to enjoy the ride and cheer the underdogs! The only major problem with this film is that it may insight rioting once you leave the cinema... THIS IS THE SPARTAN WAY!!!!!!

4 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
In search of new fans... they let down the old., 19 March 2007

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

To be honest when i first heard the news that AVP was being directed by Paul W S Anderson i was sceptical, mainly because i'd witnessed Resident Evil... a movie which he seemed to lose interest in after about 15 minutes! Don't get me wrong, it had some nice ideas and a couple of nice little bits here and there but the more i watched the more i was horrified... and not in the good way.

As a big fan of the Alien and Predator films (apart from Resurrection)i remained positive, watching small clips of Paul on the internet telling us he was a big fan of the franchise blah blah blah. The trailer looked good too! (school boy error, if the trailer is good the film generally is bad) So i sat in my seat at the local cinema happy as larry... it was the first time i had ever had the privilege to witness an Alien or Predator film at a cinema, but both in the same film... a dream come true! My first annoyance was when the certificate came into view... a 15? The film hadn't even started yet!!! For these films we need the 18, the people who want to see this movie are the ones who were 18 in the first place or have grown up with the film... i deserve the right to witness a full 18 rated film... it's double the monsters, that means double the carnage... it should by all rights be double the rating! So as i watched i noticed the gore was lacking! Killing machines from another world armed with mops and sponges?! If there is less blood does this mean the swearing has been knocked off? One of the things i loved about Predator 2 was the bad script with a swear word thrown in here or there! With the lack of bad language when the only swear word near the end of the film is emitted from the heroines lips it just sounds lame!!! (A tear roles down my cheek) My major hope would have been they had taken the main idea for the film from the'Aliens Vs Predator' Dark Horse comic series (the Randy Stradley script one), or at least an edited version! Nicely in the distant future, with a made up planet, with big open areas to battle in! Some of the shots with the use of CGI would have been amazing. A predator running through an open area armed with a sword-staff thing facing a horde of aliens, not as a short flash back!!! My rating for this film was a 3, maybe a little harsh but i felt very let down. There were some really nice bits sure, i enjoyed the Queen Alien fight, the Kung fu face hugger bit... not so much the almost wrestling esquire one on one but there, like Resident Evil, were things i enjoyed in sections! The bit with the Predator space craft flying over the unsuspecting guards' head I loved, the opening tease shot of the satellite as well. The problem in general for this film was the little things that as a fan i picked up on. The over-weight Predators with overly long dreadlocks and tarted up expressions... they didn't look disgusting enough as well as the aliens looked a bit too CGI at times! The lack of blood, the lack of swearing, it all added up.

I tried to like this film, i really did... but my willing suspension of disbelief was no way strong enough!!! I even bought it on DVD to listen to the commentary in hope that Mr Anderson might say sorry... i was let down! I can see Paul W S Anderson in the future being quite a good director, but i wish he wouldn't practise and perfect his art with things I hold dear! p.s. My new annoyance with this film is that I have just spent all this amount of time writing about this film!