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Another Tim Story debacle
8 February 2008
Warning: Spoilers
Seriously, how does this man get hired? Twice now he and writers Dan Payne and Mark Frost have taken the dynamic, sci-fi adventure stories of the Fantastic Four and turned them into limp, half-hearted mush. Although this one doesn't have as many bad shots or embarrassingly edited action sequences, none of the action in this film has any real excitement -- everything feels rote, as though the plot mechanics required some blast from Doom or rubbery move from Reed. Imagine how exciting the climax would have been if the Silver and a humanoid Galactus (a la the comic book) duked it out, instead of the atrocious, "Superman Returns"-style climax Story and crew have handed us! Furthermore, the "family" theme is represented by having the Four bicker and then make cute. "Spiderman" has demonstrated that comic book movies can have more rounded characters. Only Chris Evans seems well cast and to enjoy his role. I'm sure Avi Arad is satisfied whenever he looks at this bank account but from an artistic and pop-cultural standpoint, the best thing that can be said about the "Fantastic Four" movies is that they are soon to be forgotten.
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What an awful, awful film. We're talking Jaws: The Revenge awful here.
3 February 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Brett Ratner is an American Uwe Boll with bigger budgets. This film has not a single redeeming quality, and you feel bad for the actors as they attempt to make such lines as "Don't you know who I am? I'm the Juggernaut, b***h!" and "Way to go, Furball" sound like anything other than the monkey pee that they are. No wonder Xavier seems to be smiling in his last scene -- it's his last scene. The miserable screenplay does its best to refer to story lines from the comic book, but they are treated like riffs rather than actual themes to be explored. Juggernaut is presented as being able to smash through walls -- except for one wall which knocks him unconscious -- except he'd just smashed through a wall of the same material a moment earlier. If God exists, S/He will strike this film from our consciousnesses and then have some real director make a real 3rd X-Men film.
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