Reviews written by registered user

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15 reviews in total 
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2 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
unbeaten- invincible, 23 February 2010

the first martial arts flick i saw (besides the bruce lee films) that blew my mind was 5 deadly venoms. since then i've absorbed as many kung fu flicks as i possibly can, and this one so far has been at the top of the heap. as far as pacing, continuity, characterization, and overall solid story line and film making, master killer is simply perfection. best training sequences i've seen to date, and the strongest character development. by the end of the film, you truly feel like you've experienced and understood just how completely AWESOME the protagonist has become. he truly seems like the biggest bad ass on the planet after the levels and struggles he's had to overcome. if it were possible for the genre of kung fu flicks to win an Oscar, id say this is the closest it comes. i loved 5 deadly venoms, one armed boxer, crippled avengers, and master of the flying guillotine, but as completely awesome and fun as those films were, they BARELY miss the levels this one achieved for me. this is probably because master killer puts all the focus SO WELL on the central character, and he truly has to struggle and fight to become one of the best heros in film history (next to ogami itto from the lone wolf and cub series). truly an epic kung fu flick. if anyone cares to challenge my review or opinion, PLEASE DO!!.. i'm by no means a master of the genre, and i seriously wish i could find a kung fu film as rewarding as this!! any recommendations would be greatly appreciated!

1 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
wow. i don't get the reviews here..., 31 January 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

i love horror films, low budget, 50's, 60's, 70's, 80's.. but how can anyone think this is a very good horror film? let's compare it to titles in a similar vein- haunted house films. the haunting, the changeling, the shining. or for a similar technology based horror film that was FAAAR better, (though still FAR from great) Demon Seed. OK, i'll be fair.. let's compare it to made-for-TV horror films! don't go to sleep.. waaay creepier and better done. salem's lot, the night stalker, night gallery, even don't go in the basement or crowhaven farm were far better. *SPOILERS* first of all, for as good a scene as the bloody shower scene was, you have a scene like the opening scene.. oh boy! the garden hose comes alive to hose down some frisky teenagers! TERRIBLE. also, just what we understand about the house.. it apparently needs to use its video cameras to see what is going on, and it's a very emotional house. not a spirit, or demon, or entity, it's a house thats "possessed", but by what? we are led to believe an inanimate object learned to love suzie/margaret, our protagonist? now that I'm on the topic of suzie.. another scene that totally bothered me, this poor old crazy lady comes, tells you she was your nurse, pours her heart out, falls in the boiling pool, struggling in agony for 45 seconds, and what does margaret do? does she risk her hands being burnt to save this poor elderly woman that came there to warn her's life? no, she stands there and watches! the acting for the most part was better than average for a horror film, but that's where the positives end. for at least a more interesting, and fun horror film about an inanimate object that kills people watch death bed: the bed that eats. i have a feeling the people who rated this so highly either haven't watched it since it originally aired, or remembered it scaring them as children. this film was pretty much merit less.

3 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
not quuuuite the "masterpiece" people are shouting about..., 23 January 2010

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

the choreography was fantastic, the 5 element ninjas awesome, and it had some very gory parts. huge pluses. all in all it was an easy 7 out of 10 for me.

*SPOILERS* but there were elements that i thought detracted. i don't go into a 70 kung fu flick with high plot expectations, ever. but I've seen quite a few shaw bros. films, as well as others in the genre, and they work best when kept fairly simple. the elements i disliked: i just thought the female ninja spy, and the whole sub plot going on with her was distracting and odd... first of all, she killed the main characters best buddy, and then all of a sudden she is in love with the main character?Where was there any chemistry or reason he shouldn't have killed her on the spot when the ropes were untied? because her character was so poorly woven into the story, her involvement did nothing but distract from the amazing action/revenge story. revenge stories are best kept simple. also, the TOTAL GAPING plot hole of the main character all of a sudden remembering he knows some ninja skills? wasn't it just a half hour before that, where everyone at the school, (including our protagonist), after the samurai dies, are scratching their heads at the mention of the word "ninja"? if the protagonist would have remembered he was taught about ninjas before they sent the first 8 to be slaughtered by the 5 element ninjas, perhaps they could have been a bit more prepared. that memory he had of being taught ninja secrets while he was tied up just came out of left field and was inconsistent with the earlier part of the film.

don't get me wrong, i love a campy, cliché, and poorly dubbed martial arts film. master of the flying guillotine, 5 deadly venoms, one armed boxer, iron monkey, the executioner. i even like some of godfrey ho's hilarious garbage. i just felt that with a few slight tweaks to the script of Chinese super ninjas, it would have been easier to suspend disbelief and be drawn into the awesome characters and action.

a side note: i thought it was funny how they worked a bunch of dialogue into the film explaining how ninjitsu was derived from Chinese martial arts.... sure Asian martial arts in general came from china, but I'm pretty sure the arts the ninja used started in japan... could be wrong though ;)

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
low budget crap that glistens like a jewel, 17 January 2010

given the budget, and terrible quality in which i viewed this, i gave it a generous 7. either way, sam raimi already showed great skill with a very minimal approach at creating suspense, and terror in this short.. the camera moving through the woods towards the character, ala evil dead, and the minimal soundtrack enhance it all. not giving a long detailed review here, but if you are a big fan of the evil dead, and horror in general, this is WELL worth a look.. for all its "amateurness" this really shows some fantastic promise, which is obviously why raimi is where he is today. it goes to show how even with a minimal approach in both plot, and dialogue, through effective use of music, and incredibly inventive camera work, you can create the atmosphere you are going for. really an inspiring piece for anyone who likes the idea of going into the horror genre.. fun stuff.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
if you enjoyed the original, you can sit through this and enjoy it., 17 January 2010

this is my first review where i will state this. i have been drinking, so this shall be short. "night of the seagulls". pretty good pacing, great atmosphere, but less suspense than the first blind dead film. i will admit, i haven't seen parts 2 and 3, but this was not as good as the first. the first, imo, had more memorable visuals. as people have stated before- great score. great atmosphere. the overall plot, however, was pretty straightforward, simplistic, and didn't get too far into development of characters. whatever, this is a horror film. i don't go into it expecting it to win a best foreign film Oscar. (that being said, most of my favorite films of all time wouldn't win an Oscar). overall, if tombs of the blind dead was a solid 7 in my book, this was a 6. if you want a 10, watch blue velvet, santa sangre, or the tenant. for a solid 9, dawn/day of the dead, suspiria, or evil dead. goodnight, toothbrush time.

0 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
wow. as a lover of horror films, even bad ones.., 4 January 2010

..this one was so incoherent and silly that i can't imagine possible giving this more than 3 stars. the main reason i didn't give it 1 or 2, is because there were one or two well done "scary" scenes. minus the one or two decent scenes, overall, the plot, and development was so nonsensical it was jaw dropping. Satan's narration was laughable. if Satan and evil is responsible for plagues, and war, and suffering, he's fairly intelligent and has accomplished his goals in that department. if he even want's to take it to a personal level, and possess people, OK, ill drop common sense and believe it, a la the exorcist. at least the exorcist had a good vs. evil theme. the outcome, and overall "plot" of "Satan" in this film made me seriously feel like buying the guy a drink. hey, Satan, you need it more than i do. if you have a chip on your shoulder, and want to cause humankind suffering, at least have your evil plan make some sense and benefit you in some way. i'm not addressing the complete insanity and retardation of this film as eloquently as i would like, but seriously, even if you are a b-movie junkie, a huge horror fan, and don't mind rip off movies, steer FAR FAR away from this film. it may cause you to like horror films less. this was not fun on ANY level. if you want a ridiculous, hilarious, horror film that lacks sense, watch Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. that one is a winner on every level, this, a turd. on every level.

9 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
beyond ridiculous- sheer madness, 19 October 2009

I do love B- horror films. I however, am generally not a huge fan of "so stupid it's funny" films. I HAD to rate this so highly simply because Death Bed: the bed that eats, is so one of a kind, and so original. there are plenty of question marks, plenty of plot holes, and the WTF factor is cranked up to 11, but i was really not bored for a second. I really couldn't call it creepy at any point, Every minute i was saying to myself "what the hell is this bed/film going to do next!" I watched this with a friend that is in no way a fan of horror or B- movies, and even she was pretty into it. the effects were actually very inventive and the colors, and atmosphere were quite good. it keeps a very consistent and even tone throughout most of the film, (albeit an incredibly ludicrous consistency) and the acting wasn't TERRIBLE. I can see from the point that there are certain inconsistencies in the actions of the bed that make the suspension of belief damn near impossible, but the film itself was such a unique and bizarre concept, that that fact didn't really bother me. seriously, for me, this film hit that realm of one i will not only never forget, but i guarantee i will find myself thinking back on certain scenes in the future. does anyone else know of any other films in the inanimate objects that eat people genre? totally fantastic.

14 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
wow. can't believe the amazing reviews.. (possible spoilers), 11 October 2009

it's unfortunate that many of the other detractors of this film seem influenced by prior biases. (i.e. anger at the gay characters, thinking french thrillers are bad, etc.) i will admit that i'm unfamiliar with the novel, but as a film, after about 45 minutes, i was rolling my eyes. hopefully i can explain in writing my complaints eloquently enough before i get sick of spending anymore time on this film over the 2 hours of its running length.(2 hours that felt like 3) don't get me wrong, i can sit through hour and a half silent films, 3 hour epics, i don't have a short attention span, nor am i so jaded by the mtv generation that i cant appreciate a subtle and slowly building film. here goes, my grocery list of complaints. first off, the ending. yes, it had a scooby-doo-esquire, character explains everything at the end. now i actually think for this movie, this was necessary.. the film had so many plot-twists, emotional revelations, new facts surfacing and being discovered.. one reviewer said it well: "..yes, it is a very logical story, but without the very essential back story (their childhood stories, the relationship amongst the 3 parents, the relationship amongst the two lovebirds and the son of the Big Man), it just doesn't feel right. I felt cheated " i won't throw in too many spoilers here, i could name specific revelations that i thought were unnecessary, but according to the reviews on here, there's a lot of people who seem to really love this, so i don't want to give anything away. i personally, can't stand soap operas. the complexity, and twists and turns, for me, snuffed out ANY impact the final revelations could possibly deliver. By the end, i seriously didn't care! there weren't any gaping plot holes necessarily; this seems like it could make a great book, in WRITING it is perfectly logical, but if i'm supposed to believe this is REALITY, something doesn't sit right with the pieces that have been haphazardly inserted. too often i felt crucial characters we were never able to get to know were thrown in to further complicate the plot, increase the emotion, and develop the mystery. the acting i had no complaints about, the directing, eh, not bad, but the plot, and especially its development, SEVERELY lacking. sorry to those that felt this was a perfect thriller, but i couldn't get into it. i gave this a 3 simply because i don't want to seem completely unfair, and it did have moments of slight intrigue and excitement.

*MAJOR SPOILER* and i have to mention it.. but when the father is making his revelation to alexandre and JUST when you think the plot couldn't fit in another twist.. "your father didn't die in a hunting accident".. I ALMOST DIED.. when was the father at all developed or even really mentioned much in the back story?!! are you serious!! like the already complex plot involving characters from all the families and their relationship to one another wasn't enough!!? does the protagonist NEED another emotional whallop more than he has already been fed?! sorry i had to throw in such a spoiler, but that just bothered me as much as i've ever been bothered in ANY film.

52 out of 72 people found the following review useful:
blown away, visually stunning and hilarious, 11 October 2009

I'm not a huge fan of animated features, or children's movies. My tastes usually gravitate towards (good) horror films, foreign films, and more artsy independent features. I saw Up, thought it was a really great animated feature, but would I see it again? Maybe if i was babysitting. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, however, blew me away! It had such vivid, sometimes surreal, almost PSYCHEDELIC qualities, that I found myself awestruck at what the creators of this film had come up with! There was so much color, and such an imaginative design quality to the film that I couldn't help being thrilled. I'd probably give this 8/10 for those qualities alone, but in my opinion, the best part of all were the characters! The comedy was seriously non-stop, and so over the top ridiculous at times I was completely laughing out loud. Mr. T as the security guard. Very entertaining and fun character. The talking monkey. The Guatemalan weather assistant/doctor/pilot/whatever else... HILARIOUS. baby brett? Oh man. The list goes on. I'm 28 years old, and while I often enjoy kind of sick, off the wall humor, I really found this to be a VERY funny movie. It's personally very refreshing to know that humor doesn't have to be R rated to be hilarious. It sounds ridiculous, but this is probably going up there on my favorite movies list, right next to the films of polanski, kubrick, argento, hennenlotter, and the coen brothers.

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
"god these dead people sure are smart.." *minor spoilers*, 10 October 2009

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

...i wish the script writer was as intelligent! (the zombies have removed a key engine component required to start the car) i sooo want to love this movie. it has great atmosphere, LIGHTING, camera shots, etc.. the glowing red eyes on the doctor were fantastic, was that a high cost effect? cause they sure should have used them more! its such a shame because with a few extra tweaks to the screenplay, they could have made the gaping plot holes a bit more believable. i mean seriously. im a guy that loves supernatural, undead, etc. films, so i can obviously suspend belief pretty well, but why has the doctor come back? why is the protagonist the only one who can see the zombies throughout most of the film? i loved the lighting, the shots of the spiral staircase, the filming location was PERFECT and totally creepy, but with just A LITTLE more plot development and continuity this could have been a pretty fantastic movie. another thing: i know many horror fans are stoked on nudity/skin in horror flicks, granted its a staple in the genre to a degree, but FIRST of all, the protagonist isn't THAT attractive, and i find it kind of odd that she'd be walking around an asylum where she didn't feel she belonged in skimpy underwear and a see thru white crop top. i could go on and on about the ridiculous aspects of this film, but it really pains me, because there were so many camera shots, scenes, and elements that could have made this a pretty good zombie film. perhaps im being a bit hard on it, but with the obvious talent behind the camera, you'd think they could have created something far better.

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