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The Good Witch's Family (2011)
Tips for the production to improve on the series!
I finally got around to watching this one and I have to agree with most the other reviews: boy has Chris Potter become portly or is Jake fearing for his life in peaceful Middleton, Canada and wearing 3 bulletproof vests under his jacket!? If he doesn't watch it, Chris will soon catch up to Catherine Disher! Also he could use some botox or filler. Last time I saw him in interviews he looked a lot less wrinkled than this. Did he miss his injection appointments? Anyway he sure wasn't in the movie much at all this time and, again: real hard buying him as love interest or even straight. He sure doesn't show much affection in his eyes to his now wife. It's called acting, Chris, you used to know how to do this, what happened? Equally horrid is Catherine Bell's face: she's packing even more silicone in her cheeks than in movie 1. In fact she could play Maleficent and not need external prosthesis due that her silicone is stuffed deep below her skin! Her hair is still as flat and dingy as ever.
I can't add much more than the other reviewers have already said, except Chris Potter needs to stop leaving the police force (hello throw back to KFTLC packing his little box of stuff) and the storyline was horrid and did not move that much at all. Also whoever played Abigail was good, and she was a looker, a little like Megan Fox's little sister, a nice contrast to Catherine Bell's plastic face. OK so, how about some tips for the production to improve on the next film?
1. Have Chris Potter hit the gym and give him some DHEA, green tea and/or body building & fat burning amino acids. No one expects him to look 35 any more but come on! And get some romance scenes going.
2. MORE MAGIC! Enough of the wishy-washy is she or is she not? The title says "Witch" not "Pseudo New Ager Poser". Get some major magic tools, a wand, a crystal ball that she actually uses, you get the gist. Browse witchcraft websites and get this going. Sure keep it family but make it more hardcore so far as the witch/magic part is concerned. We could have used a close up on those stones (amethysts?) that Martha remarked she was selling for 25c. Give us close ups on the magical tools! And a full-on séance or spell casting scene would be tops! The voodoo dolls were a nice touch except you didn't do enough with them. SET THE MAGICAL MOOD!
3. Get Catherine Bell some decent clothes! No one expects her to dress like Dynasty but enough with the dull garb. Give the woman some color, hot pink, royal blue, bright red, fiery orange, bright green, titillating teal or turquoise, sequined purple etc. The half cloak she wore almost went there but it was dull gray plaid with a terrible cut above her rear. The red lining was a nice touch, more of that. Think magic: satin, sequins, glitter strategically placed, not overbearing would be cool. And do something with her hair. Extensions will give her much needed volume. Maybe a few curls too, like a lioness wig.
4. Bring back the old shop, make it cozy & witchy. Bring back Grey House. Make it more eerie. I'm thinking ghosts, sure go with are there or are there not, but get some good spooky music to go along. And bring back the old couple if the actors would (Grandpa).
5. Write a story that is not a yawn-fest this time. Can't help you with that except for the ghosts idea, no need to pay me royalties, it's on me. Hire the writers from story 1 and take it from there. Then your ratings will improve or else this series is going downhill faster than Obama's presidency. That's it.
The World's Greatest Lover (1977)
Insufferable, unfunny and convoluted. Skip this one!
Title says it all. This movie takes its rightful place on the shelf among the worst of the very worst movies ever made. It's really hard to watch. A root canal is a less painful and more fun experience. First off no one is attractive in this movie which really doesn't help things. Gene Wilder's antics go from unfunny to pathetic. I guess this movie was made for the 5 to 10 year old crowd and perhaps those with mental disabilities (mainly due to laziness)who don't need their intelligence stimulated in order to laugh. On 2nd thought if you're a fan of inane reality shows you'll probably like this. It is just as insipid as I can imagine Jersey Shore or the Kardashians must be. One has to wonder how did this turnip ever get made! Oh well, if you're sick with the flu and it's 4:00am and you can't sleep and this is the only thing on, then go for it. Just know what your eyes have watched, the mind can never unwatch and sometimes will even track you down in your worst nightmares & haunt you.
Casablanca, a spiritual experience!
Lauren Bacall was wonderful as Ilsa...in a parallel universe. Too bad it was Ingrid Bergman who ended up with the role, I just couldn't buy the Bogie'n Bergman love story and would have loved to see Lauren instead! So I gave this movie a 4, as soon as I was done watching. Because Bergman failed to convince me and I cringed at their Paris scenes. I mean Bogie, romantic?! Are you kiddin' me?! (I was even more shocked to see Bogie smile!) I was bored through the story, the men's thick black eyeliner looked like an ethnic joke, their white eyeliner was a little less distracting, but I've seen worse, so I decided what the heck, I'm 1/4th through this movie might as well keep going since it's not like it's starring *insert your most insipid actress and buffoon of an actor here* And OK, since I'm well-endowed in the "suspend disbelief" department, I'll pretend I'll buy Ingmar Bergman or whatever as the love interest.
Since some of the dialog was amazing, I thought I'd actually give this a 7. For effort. Plus the "last night was so long ago/tonight? I don't plan that far ahead" exchange was awesome. (I'm gonna have to memorize these lines, I'm sure to use them sometime!) And the music was not bad. So what the heck, it doesn't deserve a 7 but I'm not in a bad mood tonight and it's Christmas, right?! But what the **** happened to "Play it again, Sam!"? I never once heard it and I felt ripped off throughout the movie! I heard "Play it, Sam" Who misquotes a movie, really? OUTRAGEOUS!!! Just for that, I felt like I needed a refund, and let me tell you, that 7 was quickly turning into a 5. Plus I'd seen the final scene, the Bogie/Bergman exchange, final scene, it says so on You Tube. Right? So who cares, I already know how it ends.
It wasn't the final scene after all! WTH??! After years of believing that's how it ended, now they ripoff the ending too by adding some insipid action? Couldn't they have been done at that scene since it's *supposed* to be the only end anyone cares about? (After all, it's the only one "they" ever show!! What else could there be, really?!) Well, in the end--and sorry to put it this way if you kinda like this film--but what do you think I could possibly give this sorry little B&W film maker's menial effort of a wanna-be movie? Well, if you should know I only gave it a mere TEN! That's right! Was I glad I stuck with it till the end! It got better and better until it became one of the best movies ever! I didn't expect the surprise ending, that's for sure! Blown away!
This one is definitely worth a re-watch sometime soon, minus my "Dancing-with-the-Stars-judge-raising-score-on-a-panel-every-5-secs" attitude. I don't think I've ever seen a movie where I went from "who gives a c^^p about you?" to absolutely blown away by the characters and their turn of events. In a sense I went from caring about Rick just about as little as Rick himself did to making a 180 degree turnabout. Sort of like Rick did at the end! Amazing!! And Ingrid Bergman was indeed good, certainly not my first choice for Ilsa--still would have loved to see Bacall--but she held her own. Here's looking at you, Kid! It's like after the movie was over, I came to the realization that I had been a Rick of sorts throughout. And the movie took me through my own 180.
Does everyone feel like this when watching this movie? Is it supposed to turn us all into Ricks and then flip-flop us around leaving us utterly dazed and not knowing what hit us there for a second? Or is it just me? It almost felt like a spiritual experience! Almost! It was simply amazing! 10/10. Come what may, I'll always have Casablanca in my DVD collection!
Obsessive Love (1984)
She was madly in love with her favorite TV character...
I can't believe I just stumbled upon this! I recalled a TV movie with this theme, and somehow I had a vague recollection that it starred the eternally uber-gorgeous Yvette Mimieux! The thing that floored me is it also stars the very sexy Simon MacCorkindale, and I didn't even remember it was him in this!
I only recall the ending, so spoilers ahead! Here we go:
MAJOR SPOILER: Yvette plays this middle-aged woman who is obsessed with her favorite soap-opera's leading man. Somehow she befriends him (maybe they become lovers?) and the only thing I recall is the end. She's sitting on the couch with him, watching the soap. He plotted this. His character gets killed in the show. And even though he's right there with her, she totally freaks out. And I do mean freak out. She's crying out of control, grabbing tissues, and talking to the TV, she keeps screaming "NO!", ignoring him. Obviously she was obsessed with him (hence the title) and the only way he could get rid of her was by killing off his character. So cruel! =) She just cannot be consoled! Turns out she was madly in love with the character, mad being the key word here. Reel life totally confused with real life. I love it! END OF SPOILER
A very entertaining and unpretentious little TV movie. I'd love to see it again! It's a great theme, (loving a character vs. the actor behind the part, yet getting them both mixed up and becoming deliciously and dangerously deranged, not to mention the titillating and unbearable insanity of the ultimate fantasy come true: having that man in both your video player and your bedroom!)
I'm sure a lot of people can relate to it--or at least have an opinion on that. Plus it's a major treat that Simon is playing the lead here! Along with Yvette, they make for a very talented cast, so quite worth watching. I gave it only 9 stars because your favorite TV character should never be killed off! That's just too cruel. Characters need to live forever on celluloid! Only one of my favorite characters was ever killed off in his series, and I can't watch that finale without turning into Niagara Falls. So I've only seen it twice. It's just too sad! Then I tend to watch the pilot right after to shake that negativity off and bring him back to life. Oh, the magic of television! =)
Well, let's hope this one also sees the light of day on DVD real soon...
Humorous, irreverent, thought provoking, stellar, and yes, nudity!
This is basically a play without audience laugh track (thank the steamroom attendant for that!) on DVD. There is basically only one location in the entire show: the steambath! And to make matters worse, it's a satire! Now this combo would normally be enough to keep me from watching, but since it's starring Bill Bixby, I had to get this!
Well, I was really glad I picked this one up! Bill Bixby is sublime in the role of Tandy, a man who walks into the steamroom to find out he's just died and he's trapped here for the rest of eternity! As if that weren't bad enough, he's going to have to share it with a couple of half-naked singing (and dancing!) gay guys, a cantankerous old drunk, and to top it off, an obnoxious Puerto Rican who is the steamroom attendant (José Pérez). Oh! He also turns out to be God! A God who gives outlandish commands to a machine simply to wreck havoc in the world for his pure entertainment! (How's that for satire?!)
To lighten things up a bit, in walks the necessary all-purpose blonde bimbo (Valerie Perrine). Tandy's mood perks up a bit. Especially when she takes a shower right in front of everyone!
Tandy pleads with the janitor: he just wants his life back! But this God is the classic version of a random and unjust God. (And that's what makes this a fascinating and thought provoking movie!) He just won't hear it! The end monologue, delivered by Bixby, is quite moving, and a climax that is not only impressive, but also splendidly well acted.
This is an irreverent and thought provoking DVD that is definitely not for the religious zealot! And for those who might get offended, be forewarned, there IS brief nudity: a couple of butts here (the gay guys') and a couple of breasts there (Perrine's). And no, it's no sleazy, it's just the towels coming off!
José Pérez is noteworthy and absolutely perfect for this part! Valerie Perrine is entertaining and also the right choice here. As for Bill Bixby, he delivers his lines with flair, and even though some of them are a bit edgy, he retains a primordial class through and through which softens up the impact of those words and makes his character every bit likable. Not only that, Bixby's inherent charisma unassumingly compels the audience to watch his stellar performance until the very end.
This gets my 10/10 vote. We're lucky to have this DVD. It deserves to be seen, if only to make one ponder the meaning of life, the obsolete concept of a religious "God", and for the incredible talent of every actor here, particularly that of Mr. Bill Bixby!
Man from Atlantis (1977)
Purity of heart meets Herculean strength in Man from Atlantis
Here is yet another short-lived Fantasy series that until today remains an under-appreciated gem in bad need of a DVD release.
Patrick Duffy was superb in the role of Mark Harris, the Man from Atlantis. In the pilot he doesn't speak until the end but his performance is nevertheless quite compelling. This in spite of the eerie bright green contacts he had to wear for the part. Initially, Harris is introduced as a man with an inherent innocence and vulnerability that is in sheer contrast to his physical strength and superhuman powers.
Equipped with gills and webbed hands and feet, Harris is more cetacean than human, and relates better to marine life than the average mortal, but his pure heart and morals are way superior to ours and rival only those of Superman.
Harris swims dolphin-style, something never before seen in 1977. Plus Patrick Duffy looks quite amazing in his yellow swimming trunks. Belinda J. Montgomery was soporifically dull opposite Duffy, but that's okay. Patrick Duffy has enough talent to spare and will keep you captivated till the end of the episode.
All in all, this is a delightful little family show, with cheap special effects (such as an "invisible" river, a double-headed sea-horse, which resembles what it is: a man in a bad Halloween costume); however this is 1977, and after all computer graphics and other FX technology weren't yet invented. And again, Duffy's talent and good-looks more than compensate for any lack in the FX department.
So if your co-workers ate your lunch today and conveniently forgot yet again to fill up the coffee pot, sounds like you deserve a little escape. How about time-traveling to an alternate reality in the late 70's? Kick back and relax with Mark Harris, the Man from Atlantis with a childlike innocence, a heart of gold, and the strength of Samson or Hercules. And did I mention the looks of Adonis?