Reviews written by registered user

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105 reviews in total 
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Killers (1997)
This movie almost killed my joy of watching movies..., 25 October 2016

A friend of mine gave this piece of shet, which he got for free at the recycle center, and after reading the description of the cover "In the tradition of Reservoir Dogs" (whatever the hell that was supposed to mean) we decided to watch it... man, was that a big mistake!

The plot is basically as follow: Some long-haired biker-types and their bimbo girlfriends go to an abandoned warehouse to meet with their pal, fittingly called "Speed" (which also seems like his drug of choice), and they split some drugs and money there - they're all criminals, no doubt. But suddenly a bunch of suit-clad gangsters appear, also wanting the drugs and the money, so the gang decides to flee... or rather, they stay in the building and hide, until the gangsters are closing in on them...and THEN (try to) flee! And they also decide to split up a couple of times (which makes it easier for the bad guys to catch/kill them one at the time). Aaand... that's basically the plot right there.

I've seen some pretty damn worthless movies, but most of them have either been free online stuff and/or amateur school-productions. But this movie is truly scraping the bottom of the barrel. Stupid plot, terrible acting, horrible lighting (if any at all), inept direction and super-dull filming. Throw some shet-poor editing and generic background muzak on top of that, and you've got this film.

It reminded me of other terrible films, like Albert Pyun's "Urban Menace" or Karim Hussain's "Ascension", but it's actually much, much worse, because those movies had some redeeming features, like unintentional comedy (the former) or artistic vision (the latter). This movie has NO REDEEMING FEATURES WHATSOEVER. Unless you like watching a bunch of scruffy-looking dudes running around filthy buildings for 90 minutes, of course.

The one thing that puzzles me the most about this movie, is that they actually went and made a SEQUEL to it! WTF, that's gotta be the least called-for sequel of all-time! It's going straight back to the recycle center, I can tell you that much... or maybe even the city dump would be a better ending for it, as I don't want to put anyone else through the torture of sitting through this truly passion-less turkey.


3 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Cute and violent vigilante movie!, 3 October 2016

As I stumbled upon this movie as an in-flight flick going from Japan to Denmark, "Hero Mania: Life" (translated badly as "Maniac Hero") was a nice little surprise for me, as I'd never heard anything about it beforehand.

It's about a young man, Nakatsu (Masahiro Higashide), who is having a pre-midlife crisis ("I'm over 30 already!"), as he feels his life is going nowhere, and his job as a conveniance store-clerk is very unsatisfying. But suddenly one day he meets Toshida (Masataka Kubota), a red cap-wearing, slightly autistic kid, who happens to be a master of martial arts and constructing clever gadgets, which he uses to fight random bad guys on the street. After their first meeting, Nakatsu decides that his new life goal must be crime-fighting, as the local police-force aren't doing enough to prevent local gang-related muggings in their neighborhood, and he persuades Toshida to join him, even though none of them have any real law-enforcement experience.

Of course they have no clue on how to clean the streets, but they are soon joined by a couple of fellow vigilantes, like the cute Kaori (Nana Komatsu), and the cool Kusaki (Tsurutaro Kataoka), and after a while things escalate quite a bit... how and why, I will not elaborate on, but it's unexpected and action-packed though! The main bad guys are somewhat reminiscent of those from the Arnold Schwarzenegger-movie "Last Action Hero", with an evil and sophisticated mastermind controlling a psycho killer in a yellow rain-coat, that our "Kick-Ass" young vigilantes have to take out, to make the streets safe again.

The movie is a clever take on the vigilante-genre, and has a lot of silly comedy, as well as some more scary moments, so it's not really suitable for young kids, but teenagers (and older) would probably be delighted over the many zany stunts and crazy characters introduced by this film. I know I was! 8/10

Montana (2014)
10 out of 16 people found the following review useful:
There's no Hannah in this Montana!, 8 December 2014

Directed by the relatively unknown Mo Ali, here comes a violent, but earnest story, about a former ex-Yugoslavian soldier, Dimitrije (played brilliantly by the Danish actor Lars Mikkelsen in a rare starring-role), who has been hunting down the notorious gangster Lazarus (Darrell D'Silva), who committed heinous war-crimes against Dimitrije and his family back in 1995. The chase has led them to present-day London, where hoodlums and gangsters rummage through the streets, looking for victims. The police force is naturally full of dirty cops who spoil countless investigations, which leaves the fuzz pretty much useless, and the citizens of London helpless.

Dimitrije therefore takes it upon himself to clean up the city, and secretly lurks on the roof-tops with his sniper-rifle, taking out scumbags every once in a while, much to the dismay of Lazarus and his cronies. One of Lazarus' henchmen is the young Montana (McKell David), who falls out of grace, and is soon picked up by Dimitrije, who in turn trains him to be a lethal assassin, to help him get to Lazarus.

What at first glance seems like a routine revenge-story, quickly turns out to be more of a father-and-son tale, when Dimitrije and Montana gets a much closer relationship, as they're both seeking a surrogate family, as they're otherwise all alone in the world.

For fans of Nicolas Winding-Refn (and particularly his "Pusher"-trilogy), this will be a very pleasing experience, as it not only stars Mads Mikkelsen's brother, but also has an extended cameo for Zlatko Buric, who plays his usual shady gangster-type character. And it's violent of course.

Overall, it's a pretty cool master/apprentice revenge story, with lots of people getting shot or brutally beaten (sometimes to death) throughout the film, so it's definitely not for squeamish children or those faint of heart. But if you love a good actioner with likable leads and wicked baddies, then this is the film for you!

5 out of 7 people found the following review useful:
A female vigilante goes after religious kooks, 20 April 2014

This movie is basically a Belgian version of the "Death Wish"-films, where good old Charlie Bronson went up against a bunch of various hoodlums and punks, but this time with a twist: The main protagonist is the radio-host Elisabeth (played wonderfully by Astrid Whettnall), a loving mother, who has recently had to go through a lot of anguish and suffering, as a direct consequence of something relating to priests (without going into further details, as not to spoil anything).

After a somewhat slow first part of the film, things quickly start picking up the pace, and she goes on a murderous rampage, violently hunting down people she thinks are not worthy on living on this earth anymore - mostly priests and other clergymen she suspects being pedophiles.

I had a hard time figuring out, if this movie was a comedy, a social satire of sorts, or a gripping drama, as it had all elements thrown in the mix, which was quite annoying. I really wanted to laugh at times, but then the tone got so grim and serious, it became very depressing to watch it. Overall an interesting revenge-movie, which (despite a few laugh-out-loud moments) is very dark and serious in its tone - and of course, very critical of the church covering for child-molesters.

0 out of 2 people found the following review useful:
Interesting, albeit somewhat amateurish look at family-life.., 11 April 2014

So, this movie is about a home-movie project from director/actor Zachary Oberzan, where he and his brother (and sister) decided to remake Jean-Claude Van Damme's epic martial arts movie, "Kickboxer". The special thing about this remake however, is that they first made the film back in 1989, when they were teenagers, and then re-remade it again in 2009, when they were adults, and had 20 years of wear and tear on themselves. Zach's brother had apparently gone through a lot of drug-abuse, which was also chronicled a bit in the film.

The problem is mostly, that you don't really get a look at what went on between the two remakes, apart from a few small snippets here and there, which leaves you wanting more, when the film is done. Hopefully the Oberzans will make another chapter in the story in 2029, when another 20 years have passed.

Also, there were a few bits of re-enacting "Faces of Death" and "JCVD", so it's not all about "Kickboxer" - in fact, there's probably only a handful of scenes there were re-created, so it's not really that complete a remake at all. It's mostly just the story about the three kids, who have grown up to be troubled adults after 20 years. A decent semi-documentary, but still a bit too amateurish to be really entertaining for "outsiders".

19 out of 22 people found the following review useful:
A bizarre French fetish-orgy goes awry..., 11 April 2014

This surreal love-party begins with a series of mysterious events, where the three main characters experience some misfortune. It's the young couple, Ali (Kate Moran) and Matthias (Niels Schneider), and their transvestite maid, Udo (Nicolas Maury), who are getting ready for a highly anticipated midnight orgy in their house, where their horny guests arrive one by one during the night.

Their guests are a colorful variety of people, including "The Slut" (Julie Brémond), "The Star" (Fabienne Babe), "The Stud" (Eric Cantona) and "The Teen" (Alain-Fabien Delon), all with their own sexual perversions. Especially Eric Cantona is amusing, as a "Dirk Diggler" kind of character, who is miserable even though he is VERY well-endowed.

During this night of lust, a bunch of weird things happen, which I will no go into further detail here (as to not give away too many things about the film), but suffice to say, that there are a LOT of monologues about sex, life and death, and the film feels VERY "French" (and not necessarily in a good way, mind you).

It reminded me of a mixture between Fassbender's "Querelle" (with the sexual themes and colorful studio-backgrounds), and some old avant-garde art-porn from the 1980s. I'm not really into this kind of thing, so that's why I didn't rate it very highly. It's mostly just loooong speeches about everything and nothing, set to a backdrop of great music by the band M83, and after a while it gets quite tedious and dull. But hey, if you're into this sort of thing, you'll probably love it to death!

Intruders (2013)
9 out of 11 people found the following review useful:
Dark and funny snowy outback-thriller with tons of twists!, 4 April 2014

A relatively shy and reclusive writer decides to travel to a very desolate part of South Korea, in hopes of finishing a screenplay he's been working on for quite some time, and he therefore borrows his boss' parents' Bed and Breakfast, while they're away for a few months during the harsh winter-time. But while there, he constantly gets interrupted in his work, either by dimwitted locals, drunk and rude youngsters, and of course, something much, much worse...

The director, Young-Seok Noh, who also made the nice little (sort of) coming-of-age comedy "Daytime Drinking" (I was fortunate enough to have seen both films, during two different years at Copenhagen PIX festival), is clearly a director to watch in the near future. He truly masters the art of capturing the loneliness of being out in the wilderness without any friends (or urban civilization) nearby. With this film he also shows a knack for the thriller, as well as the comedy-genre, and makes the story completely unpredictable, much to the viewers' delight.

So if you liked his first movie, unpredictable thrillers, or just rural winter-films in general, then this is definitely something for you! And you just gotta love those lazy small-town cops..

10 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
Just give the ball to Matzutzi!, 18 March 2014

This movie tells the story about a small Italian village-community, where the people only care about three things: football, football, and more football (and don't call it soccer)! We follow two teams in the story, the good team (which is bad), and the bad team (which is good). Parallel to the story about the two teams fighting each other, we also follow an ambitious referee, Arbitro Cruciani (Stefano Accorsi), who wants to be the head ref in the championship league finals. But it is not such an easy path to success, so he has to make some tough choices during the way, some which may or may not lead him to the final glory.

The story itself is a very dark comedy, full of various references, from football-culture itself, to a re-telling of some biblical stories, with the local star footballer Matzutzi (Jacopo Cullin) being some sort of "prodigal son", returning to save the day. There is also a scene of his team have a "final supper" before the final game, and various other references throughout, which I will not spoil here.

Now, the movie is extremely beautifully shot, with many scenes reminding of us the master, Sergio Leone, showing huge panoramic views of the wonderful scenery of Italy (or more specifically, Sardinia). The director, Paolo Zucca, is clearly a guy to watch in the future, as he has a firm grasp of the fundamentals of great movie-making.

Overall, a very enjoyable black comedy, with lots of laugh-out-loud moments, and great acting-performances, coupled with excellent cinematography. Highly recommended for lovers of Italian cinema, and, of course, football! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL!

Gold (2013/I)
36 out of 44 people found the following review useful:
Greedy German Gold-diggers Get Grief-stricken, 20 September 2013

This movie (which I saw during the 2013 film-festival in Copenhagen), is a very atypical western, not only because of the (mostly) German-speaking cast, but also because of it's dark moods, and almost complete lack of conventional "western"-themes, which makes it more appealing to people that are normally not too keen on westerns, but still has enough western-elements in it to not disappoint genre-fans either.

The beautiful Nina Hoss - known for her portrayal of "Barbara" (in the 2012 movie of the same name), as well as the vampire-movie "We Are the Night" - here plays Emily Meyer, a single woman who is determined to travel alone to Klondyke in the late 1890s, along with a motley crew of settlers and gold-diggers, who all have their own reasons for making the long and dangerous journey.

However, they do not know what will await them during the trip, as both the harsh nature of the land comes as a surprise to them, as well as a couple of ruthless killers are on their trail, which takes its toll on the travelers.

It is a slow-moving, but very gripping and dark tale about (among other things) trying to conquer both new territory, but also about finding yourself (and others), when placed in a bad situation. It also has quite a lot of stunning cinematography, which really captures the landscapes beautifully, and places the audience in the right mood.

The director, Thomas Arslan, is still relatively unknown, although I have seen two of his films now (this one and "Dealer", which was also quite good), and he should definitely be a name to look for in the near future.

"Gold" does have a lot of similarities to Kelly Reichardt's western-drama, "Meek's Cutoff", but with somewhat more action and excitement, all things considered. So even though both films are very similar, I have a huge preference to this movie, as the characters are also much more likable and well-developed.

So go see this film, if you want a realistic story about people trying to make their way through rough territory, both physically and mentally. See it if you love westerns, and/or if you just like good movies, that might leave a lasting impact on you forever.

Zaytoun (2012)
24 out of 30 people found the following review useful:
Common goals can make even worst enemies best friends, 4 May 2013

This story takes place in 1982, and is about the young boy, Fahed (Abdallah El Akal), whose family has suffered a lot because of the war in Beirut. One day, an Israeli fighter pilot, Yoni (Stephen Dorff), is captured by the local forces, and Fahed sees and opportunity to free the pilot, so he can take him back to his former home, where his father wanted to plant the family's olive-tree, but never had the chance to do so, because of the war.

At first, the two are mortal enemies, only working together because they need each other to reach their individual goals: Fahed wants to return back to his old family home, and Yoni wants to escape from prison, where he is bound to be tortured and interrogated, before he is used politically to exchange prisoners from the Israelis.

But along the way, the two form a tight friendship, where they both save each others lives on numerous occasions, until they (hopefully) reach their goals. It just goes to show, that even during the worst situations, friendships can arise when you are able to look past ones differences, and instead focus on common interests and dreams.

This is the newest movie from director Eran Riklis (Etz Limon, The Syrian Bride), and he still manages to make very interesting movies on highly debated subjects about the situation in Israel and the middle east in general. The acting from the leading actors is very impressive as well, especially from the young El Akal, who should have a long career ahead of him. It is also a quite interesting turn from the otherwise rather mainstream actor, Stephen Dorff, who most people probably know best from action-films like "Blade", "Public Enemies" and "Felon".

A highly recommended film, which also can be used for educational purposes. 8/10.

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