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104 reviews in total 
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2 out of 4 people found the following review useful:
"You gotta swear you won't kill nobody with these guns.", 1 August 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Lots of indiscriminant murder and Rose McGowan behind the wheel of a pink 58' Olds with a cigar perched between her trademark red lips...what more could you ask for? You know, I love that girl but somebody finally figured out the real key to her intoxicatingly wicked charm is to keep her silent throughout the entire film. Just the hottest little demon from Hell homewrecker since Joan Crawford!(Spoiler alert) She has one line in the movie and it's worth waiting for, or maybe you'll just want to fast forward to the last scene to hear it for yourself. Her facial expressions and hand gestures are a lot more effective than the dialogue here anyway which is just downright stupid. I wish there was another word that better describes the pure dumbassity of this movie but there just ain't one. Salvator Xuereb I thought was pretty cool as your "here we go again" dissasociated psychopath that broke out of prison with some computer nerd to go on a treasure hunt for gold. They even managed to weave in a tatooed dog, a hit man and a poisonous snake...OOOOOOHHHHHHH! Has it's moments, particularly when the tourists from NY stop to photograph one of our treasure hunters. That one had me rolling on the floor. If you like road movies you can probably somehow find the patience to sit through this one too. Made me hungry for "Love and a 45." 6/10

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Better than advertised, 17 July 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Anytime you got Gene Hackman as a heavy totin' a 6 gun you've got some serious potential. Here you've got a real unappreciated gem I guess cause a feminist gunfighter smacks the genre right in the mouth. However, Sharon Stone manages somehow to be still blows my mind having grown up with classic westerns. This movie is pure entertainment and I even enjoy Leonardo DeCaprio prancing around and showing off for his (spoiler alert) estranged father in Mr.Herod, self appointed king of the local 'ville'. Fun, funny, and with healthy doses of action. Lance Henricksen is one of my favorites as a cocky gunslinger that enjoys doing aerobics off the back of his horse. I'm deducting two points for my natural dislike for Russell Crowe-jeez I'd really like to smack him around! Never have liked that guy. A fun movie if you can muster a new set of eyes when you watch. 8/10

19 out of 116 people found the following review useful:
The funniest, but not the best, 17 July 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

C'mon people, time for a little objectivity here. OK, I understand the deconstructionists love this movie for obvious reasons, but to call this the "best western ever"??? Hell, it ain't even in Clint's top three! OK we have three great characters, great cinematography, a unique, quirky, and sometimes powerful score, the first ten minutes, and the last ten minutes of the movie that are all dynamite...but then there's all that crap in between! Apparently, after 'A Few Dollars More' somebody convinced Leone he was a great maker of CINEMA(rhymes with enema) and so he set out to create this interesting but overlong sojourn to a Civil War ravaged New Mexico where bandits roamed freely between the Union and Confederate armies. Nice premise but everything drags and drags and drags-JEEZ! Each scene develops on an excruciating timeline and if you view this as a serious Western you'll be asleep 30 minutes into it...that's always the effect it had on me-even when I was 16 on it's release. But if you plant your tongue in cheek and forget about the artistic grandeur of it all then you might enjoy this thing. For example-let's dissect the famous "bridge" scene. (spoiler alert) So we got a drunken Union commander leading the charge (and he even looks a little like Grant but he never led any charges except to the bar at the Appomattox Holiday Inn) back and forth, to and fro...cannon fire.. boom boom...drag the dead back...yawn! Now Blondie and Tuco got to get to the other side of the river, but there's this battle raging on and on and on over this bridge so it's logical that our heroes have to blow up the bridge right? We don't know WHY but we want to see Clint blow the hell out of something don't we?? Me, I would have forded the river, which appears to be about waist deep, somewhere downstream of all the fighting but that wouldn't suit our purpose here. I fall out of my chair everytime I see our boys knock that poor wounded yankee off his stretcher so the can load it up with dynamite to haul it down to the river. So the boys wait for an intermission in the battle, wire the bridge while no one on either side is looking, blow said bridge, jump behind the sandbags for cover but one of our heroes-Tuco, has his butt stuck up in the air just waiting for one of the Rebels to shoot it off. More cannon fire..boom EVERYBODY is dead, except of course our two boys who miraculously survived. Even Tuco's ass survived all the shelling which took out everybody and everything in sight! Now with everyone dead it's safe to walk across the river to get the gold. Oh, did I forget to mention that? Yeah, they're after $200,000 in gold and there's another character in hot pursuit but I'm getting to that. First Clint/Blondie finds a cannon that hasn't been fired yet pointing in the opposite direction of the battle which suits him just fine cause it's aimed towards Tuco who is racing off to find the gold. Now Clint is so cool he never even so much as flinches when he lights the fuse with his cheroot...without a doubt the coolest scene in the film. The three finally converge at the location of the gold, there's some witty repartee' between our hero/villains, and then we all square off for a three way gunfight. Tuco, Blondie, and Angel Eyes.......eyes, guns, fingers, eyes, teeth, guns, twitching fingers, more eyes, jeez get on with it! I'm sorry people but this is not a serious western and I laugh my ass off everytime I see it. Not only is this not the "greatest" of all time, hell it ain't even in the top 25 IMHO. I will give the director his due for a number of innovations that have been roundly lauded here, hell I even thought the Confederate Pep Band at the prison camp was a cute idea-silly as it was. They really needed a tuba though and the woodwind section was sorely in need of beefing up, but other than that? This thing is at least an hour too long but as a satire of the western genre I can live with it. I can't however live with this "best ever" tag which is an insult to the genre and to the myth, which is a myth to begin with. 6/10 but only for making me laugh.

3 out of 10 people found the following review useful:
Was this thing made for TV?, 14 July 2002

Got to be a reason I managed to avoid seeing this the past 20 years. I would expect more from Walter Hill but this movie falls way short of it's overrated status as "one of the best." As far as the James/Younger sagas goes this is one of the worst IMO. The Keach boys with their 'dead eyes' bring absolutely no energy whatsoever to the part of Jesse and Frank James. The movie suffers from miscasting more than anything else. It's a decent story but it just fails to deliver and you'll have a hard time mustering any sympathy for the 'heroes' of this turkey. David Carradine is standout, however, as Cole Younger. His knifefight with James Remar is the clear highlight of the film, followed only by the dialogue with his 'whore' Belle Starr. That was pretty funny stuff. A little too reminiscent of the highly overrated Wild Bunch where the focus on graphic violence wins out over content. 5/10

14 out of 42 people found the following review useful:
Somebody wake me when this thing is over, 7 July 2002

Dull, boring, uninteresting moodfest/snore-a-thon. Does for Westerns what "2001" did for Sci-fi. If you like movies for their artistic "vision" then by all means. But if you believe movies should be designed to entertain then you may want to take a pass on this overhyped turkey. Not even Warren Beatty can salvage this anti-movie. I'm sure Fellini would have liked it though. Just plain awful. 4/10

3 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
You can't be serious?, 5 July 2002

This has got to be the WORST piece of garbage masquerading as a western I have ever seen, and I've seen some bad westerns. This one is inching pretty close to Billy the Kid Meets Dracula for just pure bad acting. Great story-pitiful script. Must have been a reason I missed this for the last 40 years. Just pathetic. 3/10

5 out of 23 people found the following review useful:
Do you speak French?, 5 July 2002

If not then stay away from this thing. It does not translate at all. Jeez, you would think we'd at least get an accent or two considering that the setting is obviously somewhere in Europe? Anne Parillaud plays the killer in desperate need of a breast enhancement. The French guy from The Patriot plays her opposite, very convincingly too if you turn off the sound. Incredibly, this movie is much better in French without the subtitles. Better than a sleeping pill. 5/10

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
One of Lewis' Best, 4 July 2002

This is one of his most daring and creative ventures along with The Bellboy. Not much dialogue, just over the top sight gags and general hilarity. What do you people expect? This is Jerry Lewis in top form and it just doesn't get any better. The only thing funnier than his movies are the ridiculous criticisms of his films on this sight. Hello people...this is Jerry Lewis OK! It's too bad that his egocentric persona alienated several generations that didn't grow up looking forward to his next project. The Errand Boy stands alone as one of the most innovative comedies of all time and anyone that can muster some objectivity will appreciate his work for what it is. I personally think this is one of the funniest movies of all time and I rank it as Jerry's best work, although the Academy may disagree. 10/10

12 out of 13 people found the following review useful:
A MUST SEE!, 4 July 2002

Thank you Cinemax for dusting off this rare gem. You don't get too many chances to see this on the tube. The idea of Jerry Lewis popping in from 8 million light years away in his saucer to help Gen. Lee's troops fight the "damn yankees" should be enough incentive for anyone to make time for this and it doesnt disappoint. Unfortunately Jerry miscalculated and landed on Earth 100 years later-he's a student, not a very smart one but he is majoring in the "Earth" so his natural curiosity brought him down for a short stay, much to the frustration and eventual amusement of his mentor Mr. Delton on his home planet where his every move is monitored on the first 60" wide screen I can remember seeing. The movie is just hilarious with sight gags galore. I thought I was going to fall out of my chair watching Jerry take his first glass of whiskey and then walk up the wall and stand on the ceiling to have a conversation with his host. And the Beatnik scene at the "Hungry Brain" is a real keeper although many probably wont get it-beatniks were the 'way cool' hipsters that preceded the flower child movement of the 60's. Koo koo baby! Earl Holliman is very funny in an early role and Joan Blackman is scrumptious as Holliman's love interest that he can never seem to keep his hands off of. She later appeared in two Elvis flicks so you know she's got to be pretty hot. Just a great movie and I think ranks in Lewis' top three with The Bellboy and The Errand Boy. Don't miss it. 9/10

McLintock! (1963)
4 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
"I won't, I won't....the hell I won't!", 3 July 2002

The is John Wayne's best comedic role by far. You can tell he's very comfortable on the set with long time pal Andrew McGlaglen behind the camera. This movie is just hilarious and set the tone for other western comedies of the 60's/70's like The Rounders, Cheyenne Social Club and others in this vein. Maureen O'Hara is wonderful with her bitchy Scarlett O'Hara persona that just begs for a spanking by the Duke. This is the No.1 classic of the genre IMO. You can basically see the G.W. character again in North to Alaska...not as good but still great. 10/10

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