Reviews written by registered user

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103 reviews in total 
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2 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
Warning to anyone over the age of 16 that's not already a fan of Tolkein's series, 13 December 2002

You may be bored to tears, and that's an understatement.

Please refer to the cover art on the DVD package.....see the look on Elijah Wood's face? Well, be prepared for over two hours of that. Or maybe he was so in awe of the project he was involved in he just couldn't help that perpetual stunned "can't believe I just humped the neighbor's cat" look. You know, if the producers wanted to cast a 13 year old in the part of Frodo(giggle snort), then by god go get a 13 year old kid to play the part. Not some permanently prepubescent 20yr. old wooden drone like Elijah Wood ! In two evenings I have still been unable to get through this thing without dozing off. Welcome to "2001" from Middle Earth.

I will give Viggo Mortensen credit for his amazing screen presence, but he's pretty much alone in that category here. Great cinematography, sets, and FX but the story is dull and uninteresting. To the fans of this overrated, overhyped monument to Halcion....get a life! Rant over. 5/10

1 out of 6 people found the following review useful:
DVD Alert-great movie....BUT, 11 December 2002

The transfer is terrible, especially on the alleged "collectors edition." One of the worst I've ever seen actually. Somebody thought the Irish countryside was so pretty they amped up the hue and contrast making much of what you see blurred and overcolored. Too bad, fans deserve better. And no Dolby either, just enhanced sound,,,whatever the hell that is?

BTW, they are ALL like this. If you want your own copy you're better off taping it from an AMC/TCM broadcast. The VHS version ain't all that hot either.

2 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Pointless, droll, depressing, unentertaining drivel., 11 December 2002

I remember when speilberg's name was synonymous with quality filmaking (I gave him a Mulligan for Close Encounters) but I think we've just witnessed the demise of one of our generations great directors. Seek the spotlight and the world has a way of humbling you. Karma bitch. This movie sucks. 4/10

6 out of 12 people found the following review useful:
The Royal Suckenbaums!, 29 November 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

I'm going to spare the wrath on this review cause it's not worth my time, or yours.

This just landed in my top 10 worst of all time list and is closer to the top than Billy the Kid Meets Dracula. I'm still looking for the humor in this thing, subtle as it may be. My girlfriend was relieved to find a family as dysfunctional as her's so she thought it was funny. My son was humored by the (spoiler) painted face mescalined-out Austin Healey crashing thing. I was mostly irritated by it all. If the popularity of this movie is not proof positive that Armageddon is near then by god Jackass is!

Hey Gene, why the hell would you care that you might lose Anjelica Houston? Seems cause for celebration to me. 3 Prozacs/10

0 out of 1 people found the following review useful:
Springboard into a ceiling fan anyone?, 26 November 2002

I saw this movie 4 days ago and haven't stopped laughing yet. The most insane, imbecilic, totally prurile thing I've ever seen. And yet I cant stop laughing.

Being a Knoxville boy myself, I wonder where Johnny got all that talent, or learned how to do all that neat stuff. Well, I'll let that remain a mystery but this is a funny movie. See it. 9 golf carts

6 out of 8 people found the following review useful:
Just hilarious, 20 November 2002

I'd never heard of this movie before but after watching Next Friday tonite I figured what the hell.

This is one of the funniest movie's I've ever seen. The music room scene had me crying in laughter. Varney was a comedic genius but you actually have to possess a sense of humor to get it. Any dink that doesnt think this movie is funny must have run out of Vaseline. 9/10

15 out of 34 people found the following review useful:
Oh...MY....God! It just keeps getting worse., 8 November 2002

What are you people thinking. This has to be Hollywood's biggest joke on the public since Cleopatra. An absolutely horrific film. The only thing scarier than just looking at Shelley Duvall is Danny's constant spastic drooling and shaking. REDRUM my ass! People were actually scared by this thing? Oh yeah, Scatman Crothers would be the guy I'd want to rescue me from a remote haunted hotel with a mad killer roaming around the place. Pitiful. And the comment about the hidden "Native American" theme here really takes the cake. Is that the last bullet in you robotic Kubrick worshipper's gun? Absurd, and this definitely qualifies as THE most overrated movie of all time, along with 2001 of course. 2/10

3 out of 36 people found the following review useful:
Holee Jeez Mother Mary, 8 November 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

They don't come much worse than this one. A few interesting scenes but as usual with Leone this thing drags and drags. And his bad guys are so despicable and unclean they render themselves unwatchable. Do yourself a favor....Spoiler alert: and fast forward to the final scene, skip the rest of this turkey. It wasn't very popular in the 60's and doesnt translate at all now. BTW, Walmart sells the entire Leone series for $9.44 apiece, and for a reason. Help yourself. 1/10

1 out of 3 people found the following review useful:
Minus Clint's singing not bad, 8 November 2002

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

In fact, this may be Lee Marvin's best role as the irascible Ben Rumson. He's absolutely hysterical and on perfect timing. Spoilers: the scene where he teaches the Mormon kid the best "3" things in life is one of the funniest in movie history. Interesting role for Clint but mostly painful to watch him attempting to sing. Lord have mercy. All in all a fun movie and well worth the watch. 7/10

5 out of 17 people found the following review useful:
Oh....My.....God!!!!, 17 September 2002

I usually have a strong precognition about Westerns I've never seen or heard about-that's cause they generally suck. And this one didn't disappoint. John Ford???? Semi-light "buddy" formula with occasional serious overtones, or in this case undertones. I don't know what to say, I'm speechless, just a horribly bad movie. Only Gregory Peck's "Shoot Out" comes close to it's stupidassity. Oh yeah, Woody Strode as a Commanche....right. And Richard Widmark as a 45 yr. old West Point grad that is STILL a Lieutenant in the Cavalry. Apparently a symbolic demotion for accepting a role in a movie with such a pitiful script. Jimmy Stewart as a deranged bi-polar mercenary is the capper. You've been warned. 4/10

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