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This is a bad movie.
This is an abominably bad movie, far worse than anything Ed Wood ever did. Wood's oeuvre is at least watchable, if only for camp humor. And Wood's films had a certain loony integrity, a virtue lacking in "The Electronic Monster".
"The Electronic Monster" has none of that, offering only an excruciatingly dull mishmash of a confusing script, dreadful acting, a totally misused electronic music background and grade-Z production values.
Professional lox, Rod Cameron, never any threat the Lawrence Olivier anyway, is egregiously bad and his somewhat fickle paramour, Mary Murphy demonstrates why she was seldom heard from again
Watching this movie makes one wish the dream machine really worked so that they may erase the memory of ever seeing this completely valueless waste of film.
Chrisley Knows Best (2014)
More reality show garbage - this time scrapping the bottom of the barrel.
This is reality show programming at its worst, well maybe not Kardashian bad but that would be pretty much impossible, now wouldn't it?
Anyhoo, this particular swamp in television's vast wasteland is populated by a flamboyant, possibly closeted, extremely obnoxious know-it-all, his idiot wife and his obnoxious brood.
Apparently the USA network had exhausted all other possible suppliers of TV programming and had to choose between this worthless dreck and broadcasting a test pattern.
Personally, I would find watching the old Indian Chief test pattern preferable to the grating Mr. Chrisley.
Newton Minnow was right.
Die Nackte und der Satan (1959)
A very bad movie
This is a ridiculously bad German movie, dubbed (poorly) into English.
Although it plumbs the same depths of cinematic ineptitude as Ed Wood's groundbreaking bad film, "Plan 9 From Outer Space" or Phil Tucker's immortal 3-D saga "Robot Monster", it brings no enjoyment to the viewer, only an intense desire for the film to come to its merciful conclusion.
For fans of bad horror films (like me, for instance) this film is not without its virtues however.
Despite the obvious el cheapo budget, the production values are not too bad and the acting (as far as I could deduce from the dubbing) isn't either.
And I did like the talking head...
2 Broke Girls (2011)
Dreadful, juvenile, snickering garbage to be avoided at all costs.
There is not a single reason to watch this dreadful show, unless you are a masochist.
Constant so-called "jokes" about vaginas, penises & sex are, at best, at a 5th grade level. Each one is delivered with a smirking, smarminess by one of the so-called "stars" and is accompanied by a frenzied laugh track. Equally witless jokes about race, nationality and height (yes, height) pepper this excruciating excuse for a sitcom.
The worst offender is Kat Dennings, who appears to take makeup tips from The Joker and has no discernible thespic ability. Apparently the producers of the show thought we'd all be too busy looking at her over-sized boobies to notice.
Even the normally reliable Garrett Morris is dragged into the brainless abyss of the show.
The characters are all repulsive and unlikable, the acting is the very worst I can recall, the writing is dreadful, the direction is ham-handed and overall, this show just makes you want to vomit.
Black Friday (1940)
"Black Friday" headlines Boris Karloff and Bela Lugosi but the real star is Stanley Ridges.
Karloff is the doctor who must save his Professor friend Ridges life after he gets run down by a gangster (also played by Ridges) who was being pursued by bad guy Lugosi and company.
He transplants the gangster's brain (or part of it, I'm not sure) into the Professor.
The plot thickens when the Professor begins to recall some of the gangster's memories and Karloff thinks to use him to find the gangster's $500,000.00.
Like I said, Ridges is the real star of this picture and his transformations between the mild mannered professor and the psychopathic gangster and back are very effective.
An intelligent script, good acting and typically good Universal production values make this a little "B" movie worth watching.
Blood Feast (1963)
Dreadful, Amateurish Trash
This may well be the worst picture ever made.
For those of you who don't know, the plot involves a loony Egyptian caterer who must prepare the titular Blood Feast for the goddess Ishtar.
Unfortunately for the nubile young women who live in the area, the "Feast" consists of their body parts.
He's an enterprising psycho and goes about the town killing, butchering and dismembering the young women.
There is not one aspect of this film that is not atrocious (maybe with the exception of the cinematography which is barely adequate.) The script is inane and the actors are the worst I have ever seen.
Director Herschell Gordon Lewis makes Ed Wood seem like Cecil B. DeMille in comparison.
This film isn't one of the so-bad-it's-good bad films.
No, it's just bad, bad, bad.
Night Monster (1942)
This creep-fest from Universal allegedly stars Bela Lugosi & Lionel Atwill, but Atwill gets bumped off early on and Bela as the butler has little to do but lurk around suspiciously.
The plot, such as it is, involves a series of mysterious stranglings in and about the requisite spooky old house owned by a crippled bitter old man.
There's an Indian mystic, a wise-ass writer (Don Porter), a creepy housekeeper, obnoxious chauffeur, an idiot sheriff, and various other characters milling about.
Although I never saw or read about this movie before seeing it Saturday night on Svengoolie's TV show, I figured out the plot by the end of the first reel and you will too, if you chance to see it.
But it was fun to watch and a not unpleasant way to pass an idle hour or so..
Gangster Squad (2013)
Dreadful, Simply Dreadful
My senses were assaulted by the miserable excuse for a film today.
New words have to be invented to describe how mind-numbingly dreadful this piece of garbage is.
There is no cliché or stereotype you can think of that is not present here.
Professional lox, Josh Brolin, scowls throughout the movies in what he apparently thought was how a supposedly tough cop acted.
The other actors failed to even meet the low standard set by Brolin.
The exception is Sean Penn whose portrayal of Mickey Cohen was redolent of ham but leagues ahead of the rest of the performers.
Although I had never seen "Gangster Squad" before, the script was so hackneyed and trite that I knew how every scene would end as soon as it started.
They even stuck an Abbott & Costello gag in there ("Post Office is a kid's game", "Not the way I play it")
Senseless and ludicrous gunfights abound here. One gunfight scene had a hood holding and firing a Thompson sub-machine gun in each hand without a bit of recoil from the very powerful gun.
This film is unbelievably bad. Not in the so-bad-it's-good way either but in the dreadful I-can't-wait-for-it-to end way.
There is not one redeeming quality to this film.
Every copy of this film should be gathered up and burned.
The King of Queens (1998)
Not So Good Sitcom
"King of Queens" occasionally has some genuinely funny moments but, unfortunately, they are very few and very far between.
Kevin James is the beer loving dolt who is married to pretty but shrewish wife, Leah Remini. Living with them is her father, the absolutely unbearable Jerry Stiller.
The comedy is mainly based on the husband screwing something up and the wife fixing it. It's all been done a thousand times before and there is very little that is original in this program.
But the worst aspect of the show if the odious Jerry Stiller, who shouts and screams most of his decidedly unfunny lines, you know - just like Frank Costanza on Seinfeld.
The Tattooed Stranger (1950)
Early Police Procedural
"The Tattooed Stranger" is a sub-B quickie with the saving grace of being shot on the streets of post-war New York.
The cinematography is very good. Unfortunately the script and acting is not. The acting seldom rises above the level that one would find in an Ed Wood movie. Ditto for the dialog.
But the film's pacing is very good (as it would have to be to squeeze in the story in its brief running time) and the shots of New York City make the whole film worthwhile.
Look quick to spot Jack Lord in the 1st reel, then later on speaking a few lines toward the end.
Take off a star if you aren't a NYC buff.