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11 Reviews
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The Grudge (2004)
8/10
Alright, this one got me!
2 July 2008
I'm not a fan of Japanese Horror movies. I'm not a fan of American Remakes of Japanese Horror movies either. I saw this one with friends who really wanted to see it, and I didn't feel like sitting outside for 2 hours waiting for them to be finished.

While I can see why many people didn't like it, or find it scary, I was terrified! The Grudge, she scared me! I had a very hard time sleeping for weeks after watching this, I was so afraid to look under my covers for fear of her being in bed with me! Lets not even go into the stairway at work! Every little noise had me jumping! My friends found it funny that I was afraid of it, so they bought me the DVD just to laugh at me for it! I had to have it covered in a bag at the back of my bookcase! I couldn't even look at it! The only other time I've done that was with the IT DVD! Just this year I finally peeled open the plastic bag and pulled her out. I managed to get through the movie, all alone mind you, and without any nightmares. But it still was creepy! Ultimately what I find so amazing about the Grudge is that she is very minimalist for a ghost, but so very effective. Open eyes wide and make strange noise! Scary, scary, scary!
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Carver (2008 Video)
3/10
Junk
2 July 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This movie offers nothing more than most other sub par horror movies being shot in the woods behind a 7/11. Are 50% of all horror movies going to copy SAW now? Nothing original left? Oh wait! There was an exploding testicle. I've never seen that one before. And a huge over use of the song "Turkey in the Straw", which I will admit was creepy.

Even though it was a fairly short movie it was a large waste of time. The acting was horrible, not once do you feel anything for most of these cardboard characters, maybe with the exception of the two brothers, who were o.k. The story even more so, and the film would go from gritty to smooth constantly. I wouldn't recommend it unless you like junk horror movies...if you do, enjoy!
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8/10
Great t.v. show
15 June 2008
Peter Pan and the Pirates is not another retelling of Peter Pan. It takes the general idea behind the original story and gives Peter and the Lost Boys new adventures in Neverland. Many familiar faces such as Hook, Wendy, Tinkerbell and Tigerlily are present, but all the stories focus on Peters Adventures.

Hook is voiced marvelously by Tim Curry. He may not look like the traditional Hook, but the performance is amazing.

I believe that this ran in the early 90's on FOX. I remember watching it and loving it. I recently found a few episodes in a bin at a flea market and purchased them to relive the good times. It has aged well, and I still found it quite enjoyable! I think kids today will enjoy it as much as I did as a child.
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The Crying Child (1996 TV Movie)
2/10
Don't bother.
15 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I'm sure that there is a good story somewhere in this mess, but unfortunately it never rears its head.

This is the story of a husband and wife who loose a child and then move to a remote island into a home that her family has had for generations. At once he wife begins to hear crying sounds. Suddenly she decides that she has to help this baby.

However, there seems to be no reason for her motivation. She hears a crying ghost and needs to help it? She seems to think its her baby? In the end we do get to see a rather cheesy ghost, and the ending makes no sense at all.

Mariel Hemmingway was down right annoying, as was her husband. The Doctor and the friend were the only two likable people in the movie.

Want to see a good creepy dead kid in a big old house movie? Rent the Changeling.
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Relative Fear (1994)
3/10
Not worth the $3.00 I paid for it.
15 June 2008
Warning: Spoilers
SPOILERS!! This is the story of a family with an autistic child. Isn't that exciting? Adam is a four year old boy who is apparently autistic, despite the fact that he doesn't seem to show any signs of it, other than he can't talk. He is a gifted artist, and he loves the Crime Channel. As his drawing become more and more violent, people around him start to die. Is it Adam committing the murders? Perhaps if the movie didn't give everything away in the first few minutes we might think so. As it turns out the "twist" is obvious from the get go, although it makes little sense.

None of the actors were great, a few were really horrible, but no one was so bad that you had to turn the movie off. The little boy who plays Adam spends the whole movie in a trance (I guess thats his autism?), and he makes you want to slap him.

There are other, better movies with similar themes that I would recommend such as the Bad Seed, The Good Son, or even Mikey, although the "twist" does make this movie slightly different from those listed above.
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Play Dead (1983)
2/10
My Rottweiler isn't nearly as talented!
25 March 2008
Warning: Spoilers
As a Rottie owner I have a lot of experience with peoples reactions to my choice of breed. "Oh, he's scary!", "Those are vicious dogs" and "Will he bite me?" are common things I hear on a day to day basis.

Yet nobody has ever asked me if my dog will poison them, electrocute them or watch them getting it on! Why do I bring this up? Because the killer dog in this movie rarely kills anyone the way a normal dog would! For all the killing she does she could just as easily have been a toy poodle! This movie is just ridiculous, and not in the "good" way. Very slow moving story, and considering the subject, very tame deaths. All of the actors are bad, even Yvonne De Carlo. The only bright spot here is the Rottweiler Greta, who has been fantastically trained to do some really amazing stunts.
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2/10
Maybe...if it's free
15 January 2008
I can't even remember where I found this movie, but at the time, for reasons unknown I chose to purchase it for my collection. Big mistake. What a waste of money, I know I'll never watch it again, and even getting through it the first time was torture! Its the story of a Baroness and a vampire, played by the same actress,living in a castle together, and basically nothing more. Lots of nudity, but nothing really crass. Might be fun late at night if there is nothing better to do and you don't have to pay for it. I suppose you could call it the "Barbarella" of Vampire movies. Also, I must point out that the English language dubbing is poorly done, and can be quite annoying at times.
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Neco z Alenky (1988)
8/10
captivating yet uncomfortable
6 January 2008
I was fairly young when I first saw this movie, nine I believe, I happened to stumble upon it on t.v. one night and I was immediately drawn in by the creepy images.

This is not the Alice in Wonderland that we know! What I love about this film is it holds on to the bizarre, and sometimes frightening world Lewis Carrol created. Is it exactly canon with the book-No. Is it a Disney fest suitable for the young ones-No! Is it intelligent, captivating and entertaining-Yes! I'm now 27 and I still get chills watching the White Rabbit leave his display case. If you ever get the chance to watch it, do so. You may not like it, but you'll probably never see something so strange again.
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3/10
A game of Cat and Mouse
5 January 2008
This is one of the most unintentionally funny movies I've ever seen. I think that while Richard Grieco might be good looking, he's still pretty much a cheese-puff! The movie is about a man who is dying of a genetic illness, and a doctor (Jackie) who randomly falls in love with him and in order to save him decides to mix cat DNA with his. How this actually works I don't know, maybe they explained it, but honestly you won't find yourself hanging on the edge of your seat to find out.

Anyway, like all unneutered male cats he goes off in search of another cat in heat, which is how we meet Imogene, a half woman/ half bird dancer. This leads to the worst dance scene in any movie ever.

Eventually it all becomes a game of cat and mouse (or cat and bird woman), which leads to an ending that makes no sense whatsoever! If you get a chance to see it, please do. It's well worth the time to watch the horrible acting and terrible storyline! Enjoy!
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Growing Up Grizzly (2001 TV Movie)
9/10
Great Documentary
5 January 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This is a documentary hosted by Brad Pitt about two orphaned bear cubs, Bart Jr. and Honeybump. It tells the story of how they came to live with bear trainer Doug Suess, and also tell us about Doug's life with and passion for bears, especially his most famous bear "Bart the Bear", star of many movies such as "Legends of the Fall" and "The Bear".We also get to see the bears work on several movie sets, and Brad Pitt gets a nice wet kiss from one of the bears ( note: he looks terrified!).

If you get a chance to watch this please do, it is a wonderfully put together production, and it is quite heart warming. However be warned-you will require a box of tissue!
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Children of the Mist (1993 TV Movie)
T.V. Fare
5 January 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I picked this out of a dollar bin at a movie liquidator store with low expectations. Good thing. It's not a horrible movie, but it really is only t.v. fare. The story is one of a man who loses his daughter in an accident, and feels that after her death he needs to make up for ignoring her while she was still alive. Various clues lead him to an old woman who somehow helps him reconnect with his dead daughter.

Oh, and some kid is dressed like an owl for reasons unknown.

The main actor was pretty bad, it seemed like he was trying to cover an accent, but let it slip occasionally, making him sound quite...unusual. Ms. Redgrave was the only saving grace in the film.

I'd give it 2 stars out of five.
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