Reviews

17 ReviewsOrdered By: Date
1/10
Really, Really Bad
11 November 2014
I cannot understand how a film this bad could have possibly been funded. Oh wait I think I can. A friend of mine forced me to watch this drivel over the weekend. We basically had to fast forward through parts of it because it is absolutely unwatchable. There is basically no plot, the acting is horrendous. D'Angelo is just not believable as the Gangster. Anyone that annoying and obnoxious would have been whacked within seconds by the mob. I guess Frank also thought it would be a great idea to replace dialog with incessant swearing. The F'bombs are off the scale!! The rest of the acting? what can I say. Sad would be it. Seeing Margot Kidder and Tony Rosato (fine actors in their day) reduced to working in this kind of joke is really pathetic. In addition to the acting, the filming of this movie looks like low budget porno. The filming angles of some of the scenes just don't work. Many times you can clearly see the bewildered looks on some of the actors who don't seem to realize they are in the shot or just cannot stay in character as they wait for the inane dialog to unfold. Its not even funny bad, its just bad!!
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Che: Part Two (2008)
8/10
Soderburgh gets it right
21 February 2009
A lot of the problem many people have with this movie is that they seem to think that the story should have been more entertaining (ignoring it is based on a true story) or ranting against a film that glorifies Che (which it really doesn't). This film is very close to Jon Anderson's definitive bio on Che and gets the story right. Soderburgh does an excellent job of setting the mood for the unraveling debacle that was Che's Bolivian adventure. You really get the impression of the total timidity and bewilderment of the Bolvian peasant to Che's revolutionary ideas or of the difficulties that his men faced with hunger and the terrain. Sorry to bore the attention challenged movie fan out there but that was how it happened. So don't go into this movie expecting a Rambo shoot em up, its a true story!
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South Park (1997– )
Super.. thanks for asking!
11 February 2004
Most of the people who criticize this show, do so because they are either prudes or dont get it. As for the animation being bad, isnt that kind of the joke as well?? Some of these episodes are comic masterpieces not just for their gross out qualities but also for their social satire. "Death camp of tolerance", "Fat Camp" and "Timmy 2000" are absolutely biting in their lampooning of Americana. The writers on this show are dead on in their ridiculing of many aspects of American culture and the tons of obscure references to movies or Tv shows (Star Trek) are well done. Easily one of the best shows on TV.
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Boom mike??
7 August 2003
It is exactly what you expect from the previous 2 films, however the writing and most of the characters arent really there. The strangest part for me was seeing a boom mike in full view above the heads of Stiffler and Cadence (in the scene where they first meet). This is a big budget film, surely they must have noticed that amateurish error?
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A non sensical diversion
10 July 2003
Go to this movie only if you are ready to suspend your disbelief. It is truly mindless entertainment. Not really that bad but not that great as well. Depp is good, the plot is interesting but the unfolding of the tale is full of flaws. The end is excruciatingly cheezy and absurd. You think they could have written a better one than that thinking off the tops of their heads! 6/10
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The Ben Stiller Show (1992–1993)
Too smart for the average plebian
10 July 2003
This show was excellent. Great actors, funny skits, good writing. The problem?? Most of the humour required a brain and some inteligence. Combine that with the 7pm time slot on Sunday night that it was originally on and the fact that Fox totally gave up on it and you have a total cancellation misjustice. The skits were hilarious, The U2 parody, the video diary ("I ate today"), Legends of Springsteen and the Tonight show tryouts were all phenomenally funny. It was an absolute embarassment that the show was not continued even though its contemporary SNL at the time (and since) was horrible! If you can catch this in reruns do so!!
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Pure Genius
19 May 2003
The dubbing of this film deserves an honarary Oscar. From the terrible choices of English words to the insults and even the odd accents, this film has it all. The kommandant of the prison steals the show with his fearsome speeches including berating the prisoners ferociously as "all-time losers!". Add to this 7 hot Asian babes all with their own special skill and a requisite Fat guy and... voila a cinematic tour de force. Lately this movie has been packaged as a Jackie Chan movie. This is a shameless sales pitch as Chan only has a small part in it. Nevertheless a true work of genius to be savoured.
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A truly horrible film
6 April 2003
The Acting and the plot of this film are flat out horrendous.I dont know how anyone can watch this movie and not start to question it immediately. The story isnt properly explained throughout the film. Over and over you are wondering, "how did that happen??". How does Heath Ledger manage to get himself on his soldier salary to Sudan to follow the troops? How do the locals not notice a guy among them that has European features?, How does Heath's best buddy, blinded and bleeding, make it back to England when he surrounded by the enemy in the desert?How does Heath even manage to keep the feathers on him after he is put into the prison? How does Abou get shot in the one scene (carrying Heath's buddy( and then emerge without a scratch. Dont directors think of these things before they release a film? The acting is embarassing as well. Kate Hudson is awful as the love interest here and Heath is pretty average. All in all a giant waste of time!!
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Black Samson (1974)
Who's the man??? Black Samson!!!
24 February 2003
If you are into unintentional comedy, classic one liners or a ridiculous plot then this movie is for you. This along with Dolomite should be in the Blackploitation hall of fame!! Rockne Tarkington's performance is electric as the staff wielding, lion owning barowner Samson. He truly is the man. Add to to this William Smith's over the top Johnny Napa, Samson's hysterical hoochie mama and one badass mortician and you have the makings of an epic battle. The stakes?? Control of the ghetto!!. The tension builds until a final conflict replete with matresses being thrown off a roof, ultimately settles the score! A true period piece if there ever was one. Thumbs up! Way up!!
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If if's and but's were...
16 February 2003
Warning: Spoilers
First off this film was called "twice upon a yesterday" in the theatre and on video when I saw it, so this other title may confuse you. **spoilers follow**. This is a solid film. An interesting story, well directed and well acted. The reason I like this film so much is that it examines all those twists of fate that govern one's life. How many times has one wondered what might have been had one not met a person at a certain place at a certain time? Or also wondered if only I could undo what has happened! Victor's character gets a chance at redemption and he is able to try and mend his ways. However his life seems destined to go a certain way. I liked how this film explored that whole idea of karma and destiny and how maybe life would have gone exactly the same way no matter what we envisioned. As a guy one can only laugh as well as empathize with Victor's paranoia over his girlfriend's impending infidelity. There is nothing he can do to stop it, because it is fate. All in all, a well crafted little fairy tale.
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Office Space (1999)
Revenue Canada INCARNATE
20 November 2002
I wasted 5 of the best years of my life working for "the Man" (the Federal Government of Canada) in a Tax collecting job at a massive office. Luckily, I somehow managed to get out. When someone recommended this movie to me I was skeptical. It turned out this was one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. You have to had worked in that office environment to appreciate it. From the sea of cubicals, the inanity of useless memos and forms, the completely irritating commute to a perfect rendition of the unthinking, self absorbed boss, this movie is dead on. The comedy has a bite to it. Even the mindless drones and Freaks who work in a government office are represented accurately. If you have ever worked in any government office (especially Canadian) this is a must see. 10/10
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Yes Courtney is EVIL
17 November 2002
I watched this film on satellite the other day. I have to say it came at an opportune time after the release of the lost Nirvana track, "you know you're right" After watching this odd,low budget movie I came to 2 conclusions. 1) Courtney Love is truly an evil, vindictive woman. 2) Kurt isnt a hero, he was kind of a loser. The footage of Courtney especially at the ACLU awards is surreal. Her father's disgust and rage is also bizarre. Critics of this movie have correctly pointed out that there were plenty of people other than the fringe group shown in the film, that the filmaker could have talked to in order to get a balanced perspective. The babysitter, Kurt's female( who is lying about the photos) heroin buddy and the Stalkeratzi guys turn the proceedings into a farce. None of these people are believable. You get the impression that they were all actors. The final part of the film that disturbed me was the phone threat that Kurt made to the British writer. If that is true, it really desanctifies Kurt as the gentle saint he was characterized as. In fact you start to see kurt for what he really was, A screwed up, pathetic figure, racked by stomach pain, addicted to drugs and incapable of dealing with celebrity. Sad...very sad.
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Death Wish 3 (1985)
Truly a movie for the ages
4 July 2002
There are few movies out there that can honestly be called classics, Deathwish 3 is one. I must have watched this movie dozens of times, yet each time it is just as ridiculously funny. From the outset the movie explodes with laughs. Kersey's trip to jail, where he is threatened by some thug, who apparently high on goof balls, decides to attack the most giant guy in the jail for no reason and is bloodily beaten down. At this point he turns back to Kersey and curses him like it is his fault! Make no sense? Don't let that stop you, there is more where that came from. Next the police inspector beating Kersey up, then abruptly out of nowhere saying, `you see, I'm a big fan of yours'! . There are so many other hilarious plot inconsistencies. Mr.Kaprov saying `Mr.Kersey, it's 90 degrees outside!' as he is wearing a full shirt and thick sweater! Or Kersey's friend Charlie, who somehow managed to smuggle back two massive machine guns from Korea. Did he take that in his carryon luggage on the trip back? Add to all this lame romance that Kersey and the public defender have and you have the making of a masterpiece. For whatever reason, the desperate woman wants a date with Kersey. The romance that ensues is epic, until unfortunately, like all women that Kersey dates, she is horribly killed. The final piece of the puzzle is some of the best one liners in any movie. Some include, `it's your wife, she is sick or... something' Fraker, `bulletproof just like yours asshole' Fraker, `they call him the giggler, he laughs when he runs' Bennet, "I'll kill a little old lady for you. Catch it on the 6 o'clock news!" Fraker. I could go on and on. You owe it to yourself to rent this extraordinary film. Truly one of the greatest ever made!
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Insidious, horrendous, embarrassing
4 August 2001
I don't normally go to these kind of films, but I caved and got dragged there by my girlfriend.... What a terrible time to be weak!!. This movie was abysmal garbage!! A stupid story, a cornball ending and nothing remotely funny. I hated all the characters. Reese Witherspoon's airhead, the big hulk of a manicurist, The tom Cruise nosed love interest and icy witch who then becomes her best friend. By the end of this drivel I was crawling in my seat. All I could think of is when it would mercifully end. Witherspoon's endless smile at the end of the cheesy "happily ever after ending" was enough to make me ill. Those are 2 hours I CANNOT GET BACK!!!! Dont be stupid never watch this movie. I am ashamed I did!
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Plot holes so huge you could drive a truck through them!!
10 July 2001
Warning: Spoilers
I saw A.I last week. What a terrible disappointment. This movie makes me wonder "do directors actually sit down and watch their finished product??" If so why were there so many things that didnt make sense let alone the odd view of the future.

SPOILERS FOLLOW

1) The kid can be submerged in water but cannot eat spinach??? why would they build him an esophagus anyway??

2) New York is flooded by global warming which supposedly happens instantly?? wouldnt the water levels be rising gradually?? If so why would the people at Coney Island just abandon all their equipment??

3) Why would the robots be fleeing their pursuers from the flesh fair?Do the other robots have a sense of survival already if so why can't they love as well??

4) when the David arrives at the company's head office William Hurt says "we've been expecting you and been following your progress, Now I will just leave the room and call the others in (apparently this takes a while!!!??, just enough time for David (the prized possession to leave altogether)) He is o so valuable but we'll let you leave.

5) the future of style and fashion is..... AN IKEA SHOWROOM... At least that's what I thought the house looked like.

There are a bunch of others I could mention

On the bright side. The story is poignant and Osmond is brilliant as David. The kid is a hell of an actor. Jude Law is also quite good as the gigolo character. Frances o'connor and Sam Robards are just plain annoying. Half of this movie is good and by the end your skin is crawling because the last part is so tedious and long.

The bottom line

The kid is good the movie is not.
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Karate Killer (1976)
A classic
17 June 2001
This movie along with Deathwish 3, Hell train, Commando Amazons and a few other gems are on my unintentionally funny top 10. Some highlights include the incredible plot. The story is of a former SS officer battling his WW2 Japanese equivalent to get revenge for a competition that was held before the war. In that competition the Japanese mastermind Miyagi bribed members of the German team to lose with Diamonds because, as Baron Von Rudolph says "THEY ALWAYS HAVE DIAMONDS!!". Poor Von Rudolph is disgraced and dishonourably discharged by the Fuhrer. 40 years later he is thirsty for revenge. As he recounts the story Von Rudolph quakes with emotion, German war music fills the air and there is not a dry eye in the house. Such is the premise of the competition. Some other highlights include a Dwarf and his doll and action star James Ryan IV dismantling a car with his bare hands to turn it into a sail car for the desert!! Oh yea the martial arts action isnt too bad either. A must rent for the b-movie enthusiast.
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Spankings GALORE!!
12 June 2001
Domination is the name of the game in Love train for the SS (probably called "Hell Train" in your local video store). This unintentionally comic Masterpiece takes place in WW2. The "plot" is about a train of good time girls being sent to the front to service the hardworking German soldiers. Highlights include some of the worst dubbing I've ever seen, (The Speech by the SS officer at the beginning is classic) and some spanking scenes that will delight the S&M enthusiast. Erik Muller steals the movie with his nursery rhyme type spanking of one of the girls, "One and two why dont you, three and four you want some more!?" as his German mistress gleefully watches. However pride comes before a fall as Monica Swinn (Ingrid the German mistress) finds out. When the train is attacked its Revenge...Partisan style. How?? Spankings of course!!! and soon Ingrid is on the recieving end. This all precludes the blockbuster ending as the american GIs come on the scene to save the day and perhaps spank those naughty Germans. If you havent laughed in a while this movie is a must rent!!
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