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Blue Bloods (2010)
Mindless, 70's era pap
I don't care about the characters. I don't believe the family setting. The plots are banal and have all been done before. The only suspense around finding the perpetrator is about two minutes before the reveal. The series makes Colombo in the 1960's look like Shakespeare. The acting is wooden and insincere but only a shade less than that presented in Plan 9 From Outer Space (1956) with Bela Lugosi and a similar cast of unknowns, or should be unknowns. The family values appear to be cobbled together from the ABC/NBC/CBS history of '50's families as portrayed by the Cleaver family from "Leave It To Beaver". The last time the show played anything for a laugh was the last time I thought of the writers of this series hysterically getting drunk and making fun of anyone would watch it, let alone support by viewership five seasons to date of this mindless drivel.
The theme music is a cliché outclassed by background music from Dick Tracey (1951), one of the first TV detective shows made with a shoestring budget.
I can see the other people on this show grateful for the work, but what is Selleck doing in this mess? I'd trade the entire five seasons for a couple of Jesse Stone's, and the ones he wrote weren't that splorific either, except they had plot substance, and genuine interest.
But I'm prejudiced. You know, I'm rather fond of you Jessie.
Ending on a high note: clown face and potatoes
The show started as post Apocalypse and reminded me of fiction built around that series of specials, what would happen if man ended his reign on earth, and the world deteriorated decade by decade. Instead of more intrigue around that dissolution, it ends on boring political wars with artificial intelligence thrown in, but not a zombie in sight, the original premise of no electricity, as gone as Laura's real killer mid season Twin Peaks, same problem, same lame meaningless drift, almost twenty five years ago.
And we're left with the "cliffhanger" -- stuck in Idaho with a clown faced neon sign and a bunch of robotic people roaming around. NEVER have I felt more disinterested in how this all works out.
The actors and cinematography was without peer, music great, original premise intriguing, and the writers just ran out of ideas and it was painful to watch episode by episode.
Maybe NFLX or scy fy channel might be interested in resurrecting this mess, but my first recommendation would be, get some new writers and a real plot line that involves some more science fiction. This started fairly well and ended up lamer than four day old sushi.
24: Live Another Day (2014)
Jack's "Break" for 4 Years Ends With Another Cruddy Day
we get to enjoy, though I must say, I could not watch the original series for a decade, and wound up binge streaming it from NFLX about a year ago, 2013.
Even though I have some familiarity with young members of various real US agencies, even though I know the active services from Homeland to DoD are filled with competent young people, I never quite worked myself into that universe in this series--To me, Jack had to be older, grislier, seen too much, too over the top and over the hill, to be credible back in the day, and the first season has Jack showing up bleach blond like a surfer dude--it just turned me off.
But I find myself with time on my hands, and watched the entire series in about a week. To my prejudicial mind, Jack started to "look the part" about season V, and sure enough, folks seem to think that was a series high point.
I tell you what, I saw the first three episodes of Day 9, I got to tell you, the vista is grander, the international setting is a great expansion of this universe on a global scale, and the shows seem even more like mini movies. I don't think we need a movie here, I think we're going to get about a 12 hour movie anyway. And again, Jack's got all the lines and wrinkles I think he needs to be credible in my incredibly limited view.
I am glad they got a lot of the old crew back, but I am mostly glad Jack seems more fitting to his demeanor and this universe at 48 than 35 for this role. It just makes the whole thing more credible to me. I hope the series is renewed. And if the network can't handle it, I hope it transitions to cable or becomes a NFLX series.
In any event, I think Sutherland can wind up with another seven seasons, and I can get my age prejudice settled as a matter of time.
After all, there are millions of people's "lives" out there with a stake in its success, and it would be nice if Jack got the girl this time, without her being shot up right after they hook up.
That's a rough date I wouldn't wish on anyone, bleach blond or grizzled vet.
Dammit Jack! GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!
See why they didn't give critics are preview?
Burt Lancaster was fearless breaking the mold on characterization every movie. He never talked box office, only if the plot was interesting. He was dark and gritty, swashbuckled and acrobatic, self absorbed and moody, lost in suburbia, blah blah blah.
Arnold's been a one note samba forever. The world nearly exploded when he tried successfully, comedy. This guy isn't Bogart or Lancaster, he's self taught and limited and every foray into something a bit different seems like the invasion of Normandy.
So. Even a sidebar into tough and gritty from superhero and muscle bound cartoon character is fraught with peril, especially now that he is 68 years old. So they released the movie without fanfare and a chance for vulture critics to mangle what might be an decent flick, without prejudice.
It's not a disappointment, and I agree, too many F bombs just takes you out of the action, but all in all, fairly courageous and well executed, even if the climax has you wondering, can Arnold at 68 still pull off lone wolf "gets the bad guy" endings all by himself?
I'm reminded of a gentlemanly C I got on a paper I wrote for Freshman English back when dinosaurs ruled the earth. The professor wrote "I am glad you tried this."
Arnold, I am glad you tried this.
"Frozen" Left Me, uh, Cold
This is a seven minute cartoon stretched into a full length movie, mindless pap. About the only revelation worth mentioning, Kristen Bell, can sing and the Disney studios can make a lush looking cartoon. Any parent with a kid under 8 will understandably be grateful for a full length babysitter that isn't some slasher flick, but I had the misfortune to go with three other adults thinking, there may be some tunes worth humming, and it would be nice to see what the Disney studio can do with plot and music. We found ourselves stabbing ourselves in the thigh trying to stay awake and commenting, white noise would have a better plot.
Every song is overplayed Broadway pap. This thing was built to bring to the stage to showcase the music, which is cloying and pretentious. The moral of the story, accept who you are for what you are, is a sledgehammer looking for a brain to bludgeon.
There are ways to appeal to everyone in a cartoon world, but not everything is as intelligent, or as ancient, as Rocky and Bullwinkle.
Which brings me to Sherman and Peabody, which has me foreboding and in trepidation,--but that, as they say, is another story.
Just NOT Funny, Embarrassing, Waste of Time
Just awful, the characters are written and played like some 12 year old's on speed. I didn't even snicker once, no jokes worth laughing about, no plot element or twist worth considering intelligent. I embarrassed myself taking my elderly Mom and neighbor friend to see this abomination thinking it might be funny. That was the first time she asked the theater manager for double her money back. Look. My Mom is 92 and things are a challenge for her--but she sure came out loud and clear at the end of the movie with "What the flub was THAT all about?"
Mom, it's about two hours of life we'll BOTH never get back.
Whatever money Carrel and Farrel took for this rambling horror show should be donated, preferably to the Screen Writers Guild, where Ferrule should be confined to two years, hard labor, taking lessons. UGH!
If this isn't the reason for the decline of Western Civilization, it comes just as close as you can get! WOW whatta stinkburger! I wish there was a zero as a vote--there isn't, just take it from me, it's a zero, and after making that designation, apologize to the digit. Woof.
Only SIX Seasons? YOST, put on your thinking cap
and look at the story lines you've tossed off without follow up. Like the detective Carlo Guilono (sp) played, it was barely an eyeroll, a real throwaway with promise--I mean SIX seasons is all? GIMMEE a BREAK!, what is this, go out at the peak shtick?
And what happened to that 100 show minimum to make reruns profitable, there's only sixty in the can. What's the rush to roll this into a final episode? Make some money, mine what you've done. So much left behind.
The latest "fad" is to go out at the top "Breaking Bad" style, as if that were the new paradigm. Look at the mess they made out of Dexter at the end, crashing two seasons worth of writing together as if they were in a race (on account of the strike compressing the two seasons).
Jeez, kick back and think. I know Elmore's dead, surely you can structure a quip by now without giving him a phone call--even I can do it--it's a simple inverted 180:
Raylan: "You're quitting on me after six lonely seasons, are you?"
YOST: "I'm not thinking we can write anything fresh!--Elmore ain't exactly around to answer the phone."
Raylan: You're not thinking. You coulda quit right there.... told me everything I DIDN'T want to hear.
Boyd: He's right. Now sit down and just start typing anything--need more "ambee-awnce" there's always the station house, empty cells fresh outta drunks but awash with the stink of stale urine, await, to motivate.
YOST: (Takes a seat, opens laptop, gives all the fishy eye, start typing)
See how that works?
The Long Goodbye (1973)
Are we watching the same movie?
I waited forty years to watch this pretentious drivel, and have come to the conclusion that I was right in delaying this waste of two hours of my life till I lay in the twilight of my life, in retirement. Watching this movie is like watching a high school student attempt to make a meaningful movie, without talent, understanding, or plot.
Rambling dialogue made up on the moment, obviously without thinking or blocking, by actors on drugs, and a one liner plot, make one clear statement about Hollywood:: and that is, the people who greenlight these atrocities have as much clue as the courtiers telling the Emperor he looks better and better, as he sheds more and more clothes till naked, a la "the Emperor's New Clothes". Which is to say, zilch.
Utter dreck, forever a blight on the careers of everyone associated with this waste of time. Chalk up another reason for the decline of civilization in the last forty years.
The White Buffalo (1977)
Incredible Mood Piece
This is one movie, it pays to revisit OUT of the context of its time. I think we need to stop comparing it to Jaws or King Kong. I think the relationship between the leads is much more important, and I liked the character development devoid of many Bronson films. I liked the fact that creature special effects were "in the camera", animatronic rather than CGI. To be frank, CGI had NOT risen to the level of creature creations--stop motion, which was not used, was mainstay until the early '90's, even in Star Wars sequels five years later. And the mood music? The music is extraordinarily moody--this is a monaural track, yet it filled the military theater in Frankfurt Germany where I served back in '77 and paid my 50 cents to see it.
Maybe the mood of the movie is too dark. Maybe it's too cold, it left me shivering. Maybe we're not supposed to think about characterization and WB makes you think about the relationships between the characters, and that's not what Bronson movies were supposed to be about. Maybe we don't like a little hard work.
Give this one a chance. I think it is top notch.
So hang up your prejudices and sit through it as if you never saw Bronson, or Will Sampson, or Jack Ward or Clint Walker in any previous role, because they're all outside the box in this one and they pull it off in my humble estimation.
And that makes it one of my all time favorites.
Get the Gringo (2012)
Goofy Insipid Dialogue
I'm not a fan of goofy dopey insipid dialog, and the Gibson character oozes sarcasm at all the wrong moments, taking you out of this picture, which has real historical relevancy in the way this prison is depicted.
It turns it into Three (Minus 2) Stooges at all the wrong times.--as if written by a 12 year old off ADHD meds, as if Gibson was in another movie. The good side of this downside, all the other actors look like pros.
This ISN'T Payback II. It's Wretched I. Luckily, it was on NFLX, and I didn't pay for it, not even the dollar rack in the DVD bin.
I lucked out. I just wish I could get my two hours of life back.